Once again its 3am and this washing machine wizard haunts me
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@convicteddaydreamer
Once again its 3am and this washing machine wizard haunts me
https://twitter.com/birdtickler/status/1552657242909904897?s=21&t=q4JEDIALmV-cAjcoEOypdw
ok so I looked it up, and it turns out they made a track out of PVC pipes, down a hill. The owner didn't realise PVC expanded in the heat, so on a turn the track just fell apart and the dude inside went over a fucking free way and into a swamp.
The funniest part is that the inspector was watching the whole time, and once the ball stopped he left without saying anything. Park management just shut it down then and there.
"The ball cleared a small hill, briefly going airborne, then zipped right across Route 94, the two-lane road splitting the park. Cars honked and slammed on their brakes. If there had been opposing traffic, Frank would have become part of a real-life game of Pong, volleying from one bumper to another.
Still in pursuit, we followed the ball toward a small lake in Motor World that had been earmarked for a fleet of tiny bumper boats for children. The area wasn’t open yet, but the empty boats were being tested and floated on the surface. The ball soared over the grass and smashed into several of them, scattering the others with rippling waves from the impact, which launched some of the boats several feet in the air.
Charlie and Ken waded into the water looking for the hatch. After some difficulty, they got it open. Charlie pulled Frank out by grabbing him under his armpits like a baby. Frank crawled up the bank, coughing and sputtering. He splayed across the grass as we all stared at the ball, which bobbed in the water like it was attached to a fishing lure.
We did not ask for the inspector’s report, nor did we ever hear of one being filed. Ken Bailey returned to Canada. The snow-makers cleared away the PVC. Told to dispose of the Bailey Ball, they rolled it into the woods, where it remained for many years."
I don't know that this beats the teeth story, but it's pretty great.
So, Action Park had a water slide. But you know how some roller coasters are noted as having a loop? Well.
Yeah, they had a water slide with a loop.
Shockingly, there were injuries. But some of those injuries were long scrapes... even though the inside of the slide was supposed to be smooth. How odd!
Turns out they'd scratched themselves on the teeth embedded in the slide from people who had hit the loop face first.
And that's the teeth story! Wheeeeeee!
Thanks! I hate it
I fucking love this video
best thing about uncle iroh is that if you pay attention he is actually just as much of an idiot as zuko but has just mastered the art of coming across as a wise old man. the even better thing is that zuko is the only one on the planet who somewhat realizes this and no one would ever believe him because he's zuko
like uncle iroh 100% does dumb shit on purpose sometimes to get people to underestimate him and keep zuko from capturing the avatar, but other times he just, and i cannot emphasize this enough, does impulsive dumb shit for no reason other than the fact that terminal stupid presumably runs in the royal family's blood
uncle: "you never think things through, prince zuko!"
also uncle:
once got captured by the earth kingdom army buck ass naked bc he really wanted to go to a hot spring in enemy territory
betrayed zhao at the Northern Water Tribe with no escape plan and then spent 3 weeks starving on a boat
immediately went to a spa resort upon publicly committing treason
ate a poisonous plant and, in the spirit of Two Fish Hook Sokka, was going to solve the problem by eating another potentially poisonous plant
decided the safest place in the world they could go was the city he once FAMOUSLY laid siege to for 600 days
instead of lying low or giving a modicum of a shit about people recognizing him, overachieved himself into becoming one of the most well-known restaurant owners in said city
in fact overachieved so hard that he got an invite to meet the earth king (whose city he, again, once FAMOUSLY LAID SIEGE TO) which he fucking? accepted????
#no wonder zuko was constantly frothing at the mouth! he's the only one who knows the truth!#god just imagine the number of times people have seen zuko yelling at iroh#and assumed zuko was just being mean#when zuko was actually yelling at his uncle for wasting all their money bartering with pirates AGAIN#everyone assumes iroh is babysitting zuko but really they're pingponging responsibility back and forth#and zuko at least has the excuse of being 16#anyway I love Uncle Hypocrite so much; funniest motherfucker on the planet (via OP)
rest in peace george michael you would’ve done numbers on here
He ate the entire picnic
@importantcatpics
im quitting tumblr
ok see u tomorrow
this post is now 10 fucking years old
World Heritage Post
i love the part of making art where you feel like you need to go missing
Frederick stop being a FREAK
He’s right. Ten dollars for that much cheese, buying it is the only correct decision.
HANG ON IT GETS BETTER!!!
I just went to her tiktok to see if there was ever an update to the cheese situation (she reposted the video a year later saying they still had half of it) and said they just shredded the last of it recently.
HE FUCKING DID IT AGAIN!!!!! 🤣
They censored the store name. I get it but damn. I wanna know.
Find the name of that store before they go out of business for some inexplicable reason
honestly for me this situation isnt drawing a single bead of sweat first i grab the tiger's jaw with both hands and pry it open, quickly bandaging the wounds i received (didn't hit anything important) and pushing the tiger away while simultaneously falling into my grizzly bear stance and watching as the tiger scurries away with its tail betweens its legs at the sight of my massive shoulder humps. i roar defiantly and catch three dozen salmon at the river
I'd summon twin scythes
really cool
Wang Feng | Barcelona Bridal Fashion Week
pros of eating your lunch outside on a nice spring day: feeling the sun, getting vitamin d, hearing birds chirping, watching the bees and the lizards and the squirrels
cons of eating your lunch outside on a nice spring day:
MY NAPKINS
Unmute for CHMPCH CHMPCH CHMPCH
the doctor who episode that's both about an endless hotel that was built to house an ancient god and the way the main character's arrogant nature harms the people around him being titled "The God Complex" is maybe the most jealous i've been of a title ever. i should have thought of that.