Insert funny title

idfk hello

[cool-cactus123]

ART BLOG OPEN!

This blog will mainly serve as my personal account now, for art you can follow me in the link above.

[cutecipher]

99% of users on tumblr are some sort of gay as fuck animal

[shadow-banned-the-hedgehog]

Or insects thank you

[cutecipher]

i think insects are animals

[boccher]

the central conceit of white boy "comedy rap" genres is that they're too racist to recognise that most classic rap is already pretty humorous in many ways, on account of wordplay being fundamental to the form,

[boccher]

and also steeped in pop culture from the very beginning, like the rap scene was already making music about comics and anime and video games you don't need to segregate a new genre for that

[northern-punk-lad]

Never let America host anything again

[mallowmaenad]

in my culture not only do we hate family and food but we also leave our plastic bags loosely strewn all over the floor and we don't even have a quaint little name for a small local convenience store you can buy sandwiches at.

[motherfucker-unlimited]

I don't give an amazing digital fuck

[honeybeeofficial]

everyone say thank you ancient central and south american agricultural heroes for beans

[honeybeeofficial]

everyone say thank you ancient south american agricultural heroes for potato

[kawuli]

everyone say thank you ancient mesoamerican agricultural heroes for maize

[transhuman-priestess]

everyone say thank you to ancient central american agricultural heroes for chili peppers

[littlegrayram]

everyone say thank you to ancient south american agricultural heroes for tomatoes

[prokopetz]

The whole "Elvis sighting" thing is hilarious because, like, the first documented career Elvis impersonators began working over twenty years before the guy even died. I wonder why a public figure who has a whole industry of people who look and sound like him would generate an unusual number of posthumous sightings? It Is A Mystery.

[bluestockingbaby]

[tanadrin]

So one of the things that can apparently contribute to kidney issues in cats is if they eat too much dry food and don't drink enough water; cats are adapted to get a lot of their water from their food since they're originally desert animals, and might not get enough water if they don't eat wet food. Unfortunately, Dozy won't eat wet food no matter what; she categorically refuses to touch the stuff. So a few months ago, we were looking for ways to get Dozy more fluids, and my wife noticed at the pet store a cat drink--basically meat broth with some floaty bits in--that was low-protein and meant for cats with kidney issues. So we figured, worth a try, right?

Great news: she loved it. Super tasty apparently. Great success. Along with the kidney-sensitive treats we found, it was a nice way to supplement her diet. Unforseen long-term consequence though: she loved it so much she began demanding it throughout the day. Like, would come up to us and meow, and meow, and meow, and not stop, until we got up, went to the kitchen, and got her some cat drink.

And by doing so on demand, we have unfortunately created a monster: no matter what we are doing at home, Dozy knows that if she sits next to you and meows, 1) you know what she wants, and 2) you know that she will not stop until you get it for her now. And when you do get it, she gets extremely excited. She will bum rush the kitchen door as you enter. She will run around your feet as you open the can. She will let out the creakiest, crunchiest, most nails-on-the-chalkboard meow you've ever heard if she thinks you're not going fast enough.

I do not begrudge her this. It is gratifying to care for a creature whose most ardent desires are so simple that it is this easy to fulfill them. But I am a little sad, because I know in my heart that I have never loved any comestible as much as she loves this cat drink. She has a pleasure of a purity and intensity that I will never know.

[the creacher in question]

[anarcho-priapism]

[astraldemise]

looks at you

[astraldemise]

looks at you

[syn4k]

@bettsplendens i'd just like you to know that this is my favorite comment on this post and i'd like it to be memorialized

[joy-and-whimsy-official]

Joy and whimsy detected! This sneaky (?) bittern is joyful and whimsical!

[sunfortune]

[an-absolute-nightmare]

scream

[mr-deep-downer]

*Deep in a psychological hell of my own making*: well this fucking blows

*overtly phallic monster that’s a monument to all my sins*: maybe if you hadn’t said dark souls 2 sucks…

[transmechanicus]

Times are hard at the cafe so they only got Something bagels

[lastoneout]

[dragongirlsweetie]

it's actually so crazy how much the simpsons would fucking suck if it didn't have any of the simpsons characters. just a bunch of shots of empty houses and streets for half an hour while nothing happens. that would be so badddd lol

[auroroboros1]

yeah that tends to happen when you remove characters from media. without characters its all just background. i guess movies set in scenic locations would still land as kinda nature docs but even then

[dragongirlsweetie]

it only happens with the simpsons

[auroroboros1]

this same criticism could be applied to nearly any media ever.

[dragongirlsweetie]

it's just the simpsons. are you a troll?

[were--ralph]

tumblr is the funniest social media site to go viral on

[were--ralph]

on tiktok people will quit their jobs after going viral once but on here not only can any post get 50k notes, but if it does theres nothing you can do with it. theres no monetization or any transferable skills at all. you just made a funny post and people liked it and thats the start and end of your career

[were--ralph]

you could say "i left the stove on" with no context and it might break containment on here and people start tagging it with ships and kins and theres no way to delete it forever unless staff gets involved. your mistake will never go away but your claim to fame will instantly

[were--ralph]

its like yes im the pineapple werewolf guy but no one outside of here and like 5 posts on reddit will ever know what that sentence means. i could jump on tiktok and no one would know me. no one on youtube or facebook. this is my little corner of the internet and i will die here before i give up that title and when i do know i lost nothing in the process

[were--ralph]

exactly

[emotivehardcore]

I hate that the “shauty getting sexually gross with it” comment is a niche thing that only my friends and I know about and not common knowledge because I constantly want to to reference it but no one would know what I’m referencing

[emotivehardcore]

Can everyone know about this please