Hey I heard your boyfriend just barely survived that tsunami. Anyway I put an expanding hole beneath him that might swallow him up. Sorry
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@cool-eevee
Hey I heard your boyfriend just barely survived that tsunami. Anyway I put an expanding hole beneath him that might swallow him up. Sorry
💁♂️
🕳️
do we think chocolate guy is gay?
-Grandpa Joe muttering to Charlie in that factory
He is my princess diana
real exchange i overheard between two of my bosses. ????
mutuals if you were a video game character I would do every step of your questline and get your good ending
What would you do with non mutuals? Cause speedrunners are always killing me for my crystal scythe before doing my quest
Well now that I know you have a crystal scythe I'm definitely killing you for your crystal scythe
I get no notes because as soon as someone finishes reading my post they are compelled to put down their phone and experience the wonders of the world around them with fresh eyes
Because of how bad the post is
yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she can’t even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that she’ll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say “such a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone else…” and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-
did she just win.
I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!
wait wait wait stew goblin wait
get ready for the wedding
today at work i rung up a customer and the total was 12.30 and i said “12:30, reminds me of a clock :)” and they kind of smiled at me with confusion and i was like “like the time on a clock, just reminds me of it… 12:30” and they said “i have no idea what you’re talking about…” with an expression of supreme pity and gentleness. after that was finished i turned to my coworker next to me and said “i just bombed so hard with this clock comment” and then realized the customer hadn’t moved and was still standing right next to me. if my fate continues down this path, the customer will probably read this tumblr post as well
Your therapist asks you "Who in this image do you see yourself as?" and then shows you a drawing of two shirtless skinny anime catboys with a thread of saliva going between their lips
It was actually just an ink blot but thank you, this gives me a lot to work with
So with voting do you cum when a person get bitten into or when a person is swallowed or does it depend on the moment
usually you just mark a ballot with a pen or you select the candidate you want on a screen. sometimes you hole punch the ballot though
was like Grace with a plush Rocky that he can cuddle with 🥺... and then. yup.
thoughts on
please for the love of god turn them back off
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