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b•26•virgo

[generic-internet-name]

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

[generic-internet-name]

you can't get out that way!

[generic-internet-name]

that's not very helpful.

[generic-internet-name]

maybe the open window will help.

[generic-internet-name]

try the open window instead.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[beemovieerotica]

[patronsaintofmistakenidentity]

"cigarette" implies the existence of a much larger "cigar"

[patronsaintofmistakenidentity]

i recovered by the time i hit post but when i first had this thought i had genuinely forgotten cigars exist

[fwizard]

I’m getting threatening scam emails from author john green

[yellow-cat]

do u think i can go for a run today or is that something only normal people are allowed to do

[thisisdogs]

weird animals run all the time dude

[yellow-cat]

im going to go for a scamper and scare everyone

[beemovieerotica]

one cool thing about having an autistic dad whose special interest is underwater spearfishing is that when he catches fish he'll just call up a nearby chinese restaurant like "hi. i caught a fish. can you cook it and i'll bring my family by?" and they're like "yeah sure come on over white boy" and the fish is delicious.

[beemovieerotica]

it's worth adding that my mom is chinese and she always gets embarrassed by this. like she doesn't want to come to the restaurant with us. she doesn't want to be seen with the white man she caught plus the fish that her white man caught. everyone who works at the restaurant thinks my dad is awesome and compliments him + her for choosing him and we all find this very fun except for her.

[bedupolker]

Pros of AI: my landlord that im sueing is using AI for his defense instead of hiring a lawyer (despite having the money to do so) and it is fabricating laws that don't exist which im told is not great in the eyes of the court, so maybe ill win :D

Cons of using AI: the rest of it

[elierlick]

Yet another new study debunked the basis for the anti-trans sports bans. It was never about sports but for creating legal avenues for exclusion and abjection. This is one of the largest analyses ever conducted, involving 52 studies and 6,485 trans people. Read the study here.

[lucieslucidity]

post so nice had to reblog it twice and force it down everyone's throats

[the-haiku-bot]

post so nice had to

reblog it twice and force it

down everyone’s throats

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[iamwizzzzz]

[omegaversereloaded]

southern american politicians will be like "m'name's buck bingo and i'm a hard worker...... just like y'all" and he's an private school + ivy league educated guy actually named buckley beaumont carlisle who was born into a family who owned slaves and still profits from it to this day. and people eat that shit up.

[omegaversereloaded]

last night i went on a crazy wikidive lol

[omegaversereloaded]

i was going to ask what other versions of this exist in other countries lmao

[draconym]

do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare

[draconym]

if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.

[shoezuki]

obsessed with the canadian ghoulmaxxing acecel

[medievaljournalist]

so you know that cursed sword that slowly drives whoever wields it mad & causes mysterious illnesses? you guessed it: scabbard was absolutely loaded with black mold

[omtai]

She literally does not give a damn what that old fool is yelling about

[unaloid]

the lion does not concern herself with papa

[hardwrench]

The Poisoned Ant = tavern for villains and rogues

Poisoned Ant = 90s rock band

Poisoned the Ant = 2010s rock band that sucks

Ant, Poisoned = dark and contemplative novel that just came out

ANTPOISONED = steam game

[thickness-protection-program]

My cats wanted to fight again and I wasn't letting them but the passion in their eye contact suggests they started fighting telepathically

[thickness-protection-program]

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

[swagophile]

i was flirting with a girl recently and i told her i "wanna take her to plapsburg" as a way to indicate i wanted to have sex and she just looked at me with this expression of like complete and total pity and i dont think ive ever felt more humiliated in my life

[clickrtrained]

that is so cool! if i were you i wouldhave not done that