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Too Sweet

Pairing: Dean Winchester/OFC (Lainey Hollings)

Word Count: 26,538

Title Credit: Too Sweet by Hozier

Summary: Dean Winchester thought he knew unpredictability - then he met Lainey Hollings. From stolen sweets as kids to stolen moments as adults, this is Dean and Lainey's journey told through a series of ten snapshots ranging from childhood to mid-season 8.

Part of the Hexed and Held series (which can be found here) but can be read on its own

Rating: T

A/N: This was meant to be a cute little, fluffy one-shot and grew into kind of a monster, but might be one of my favorites as far as my fics go, so I hope y'all enjoy it. It was also written for quite a few writing challenges/prompts, so let's list them...

Fluff and Whump prompts from Cult of Chaos Discord server's Cultober event (server can be found here). Fluff prompt was Candy Stash and the whump prompt was "Don't tell them I cried."

Fictober day 1 prompt autumn colors for the Fanfic Writers of the SPN Fandom server (found here)

@flufftober's day 1 prompt anniversary

Thank you so much to my beta, @justwhisperingfantasies, for all your help and support ❤️

Warnings: Mild language, Alcohol, Implied sexual content, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/comfort, Witch OC... I think that covers it, but let me know if I missed anything

November 1986

"Come on, Lainey! Would you cut it out already?"

It was early afternoon on the third day that Dean Winchester had been holed up in a roadside motel somewhere down South when Kyle Hollings' voice rang out through the small, rundown room.

Lainey Hollings, the boy's little sister, froze where she stood by the counter in the small kitchenette the suite they were all in provided, looking over her shoulder with wide eyes and an innocent expression that didn't fool any of them.

"Cut what out?" she asked. "I'm not doing anything."

Kyle rolled his eyes, tossing the remote onto the threadbare couch cushion between where he sat and the spot Dean had been occupying for the past half hour or so. Sam, at four years old, was sitting on the floor between them and the TV, with a bunch of papers and crayons spread out in front of him. But even Sam looked up at the commotion, curiosity burning in his eyes. For a moment, Dean was tempted to reach for the remote, but he knew Kyle would only bitch and take it back when he was done dealing with Lainey.

"You know what. We don't know how long Dad's gonna be gone, and those cookies are supposed to be for all of us. You can't just inhale them like you do any time there's sweets around."

Lainey huffed, a frown forming on her face that Dean had become familiar with in the months since his dad had started hunting with Ron Hollings and he and Sammy been introduced to her and Kyle.

"C'mon, Kyle. I'm hungry. I just want one —"

"No!" Kyle called over firmly, not even waiting for her to finish her plea. Lainey's eyes narrowed and then, in true Lainey Hollings fashion, she blew a raspberry in her brother's direction before turning on her heel, her red hair whipping over her shoulder as she stalked back towards the single bedroom where all of their bags were piled up.

"Lame!" she yelled back at him just before closing the door with more force than necessary — not quite hard enough to be accused of slamming the door, but certainly to make a point. Dean watched Kyle's jaw twitch, but the boy didn't say anything and simply went back to flipping through the channels like he had been before. Sam caught Dean's eye for a moment but then went back to coloring when Dean shook his head, and all three of them settled into the silence, the only noise filling the air between them the muted sounds of the television.

"She always like that?" Dean found himself asking after a few minutes, muttering so as to not draw Sam's attention. Kyle snorted and turned to Dean with an arched eyebrow.

"A pain in my ass? Yeah. Perks of being the older sibling. Welcome to your future, kid."

At eleven years old, Kyle was only four years older than Dean and Lainey, but he often lorded his seniority over them like the age difference was even larger. Especially when he was in a bad mood… which was a common occurrence on these longer hunts their dads would go on.

Dean by then had learned it was just easier to let it go… Kyle was going to be Kyle and Dean didn't really care. Both the Hollings kids were their own kind of animal, not worth trying to change, though sometimes he might have wished differently.

Lainey was the closest thing to a friend Dean'd ever had, and most of the time she was alright. But she was also a human tornado and there were definitely days that he didn't need to dip his toe into that particular pool of chaos and insanity. The most reliable thing about Lainey Hollings was that she'd pull him into some sort of trouble if he gave her the opportunity.

"What'dya think?"

Kyle had finally landed on a cartoon, but the commercial break had just hit when Sammy had toddled over, holding out one of the pages for Dean to look at with a bunch of colorful scribbles on it. Dean had no idea what the hell it was supposed to be, but he gave his little brother an encouraging smile anyway.

"Looks awesome, Sammy!"

Sam beamed back at him and then turned to Kyle, arm still outstretched, for the other boy's approval. Kyle threw on the same sort of smile Dean had used and reached out to ruffle the toddler's hair.

"Looks great, kid. I think you got a future as an artist."

Just then, the door to the bedroom swung open and Lainey came flying out, a concerned look on her face as she made a beeline to Kyle, immediately reaching for and tugging at her brother's arm.

"Kyle, c'mere, c'mere!"

"What? Calm down, Lainey, jeez," Kyle replied automatically, his tone shifting from encouraging to exasperated in seconds, but he let his little sister pull him to his feet with little complaint and lead him back towards the room, talking so fast that Dean couldn't quite keep track of what she was saying. He and Sam followed behind curiously, hovering, but letting Kyle deal with whatever the situation was.

The situation, as it turned out, was a leak in the bathroom that was already starting to pool on the tiled floor, and had Kyle cursing under his breath as he looked around the small motel suite and figured out what to do. Sam had gone back to coloring, and ultimately Kyle looked between Lainey — seated on the edge of the bed, legs dangling off the side as she kicked her feet back and forth and stared back with wide eyes — and Dean, still hovering in the doorway, before finally settling on Dean.

"Can you keep your eye on them? I'll go see if I can borrow tools or something from the front desk."

He and Lainey were the same age, only about six months apart, but it was an unspoken understanding that Dean was the one more likely to do as they were told and often the go-to after Kyle when the four kids were together.

"Don't forget we can't let anyone in the room," Lainey chirped unhelpfully from her perch on the bed, her voice suspiciously bright and a smile threatening to burst across her face. Kyle had his back turned to her and didn't see but rolled his eyes.

Something didn't add up, but Dean knew better than to say anything. Instead, he just looked back at Kyle and nodded his head. "Yeah, I got them."

He waited until Kyle had pulled his boots on and watched from the window to see that the older boy had made it about halfway across the parking lot before turning to Lainey with raised eyebrows. She had followed him out of the bedroom and still had that faux innocent expression on her face that didn't fool Dean for two seconds.

"What are you up to, Hollings?" he asked quietly enough not to draw Sam's attention, but Lainey just smiled back.

"Is he gone?"

When Dean only arched an eyebrow and didn't give her the answer she was looking for, she shouldered past him and went up on her toes to look out the window herself. When she pulled away and turned back around, she looked like the cat that caught the canary and immediately started moving towards the kitchenette. Dean reluctantly followed behind her, his eyebrows now both raising further.

"You know Kyle's still gonna notice if you take the cookies," he pointed out. Lainey froze where she was, hand wrapped around one of the kitchen chairs, and gave him an incredulous look over her shoulder before returning her attention forward.

"I'm not stupid," she informed him, pulling the chair towards the refrigerator. It scraped and scratched along the floor, and Dean thought about helping her but decided against it, trying to resist getting pulled into whatever this latest scheme of hers was even though he knew it was probably inevitable. "Who do you think started the leak?"

Lainey tended to be a gravitational force all on her own. Especially when she was up to no good.

"So what are you doing?" Dean asked, taking a few steps closer despite himself. Lainey, however, seemed too focused on what she was doing to bother with an answer. She'd just succeeded in pushing the chair flush against the counter and was climbing to stand on the seat. From there Dean watched her scramble to the counter, and then finally reach for the top of the refrigerator, going up on her tip toes while she felt around blindly for something, still too short to actually see over the top.

"Aha!"

Her small hand was clutching a plastic bag when she finally dropped back flat on her feet and withdrew her arm from where it'd been extended. Even from where he was standing a few feet away, Dean could see the bag was filled with various kinds of candy — mostly chocolate by the looks of it, but he thought he saw some pixie sticks and gummy bears in there too. He snorted as she immediately plopped down, not bothering to get off the counter and letting her feet swing in the air while she eagerly wrenched the bag open.

"You're crazy," he muttered. Lainey just looked up from where she'd been digging, gleeful look on her face, and held out the bag in his direction.

"You want some?" she offered. Dean scrunched his face.

"I'm not eating whatever garbage you've been hoarding. Where'd you get all that anyway?"

"Around," she shrugged. "Sure you don't want any? I've got that licorice you like so much… and I think some M&M's."

It was tempting, and Dean reasoned if it was gross, Lainey wouldn't be eating any of it herself. But he was still a little skeptical, of her and the candy, and didn't want to give in too easily.

"The peanut ones are better."

Lainey rolled her eyes, but a triumphant grin split her face as she shook the bag.

"Oh c'mon, live a little and don't be such a buzzkill."

Dean hesitated for just another moment before sighing and walking fully into the kitchen, unable to hold back his own smile when his fingers closed around the promised licorice after a moment of digging.

He didn't know it then, but it was an interaction that would echo their dynamic for years to come, and Lainey Hollings, for all her chaos and unpredictability, would prove to be one of the few constants in his life.

October 1994

"You're out of your fucking mind."

It was the middle of the day on a Saturday when Dean found himself standing out, deep in the recesses of Bobby Singer's salvage yard, staring up a pile of scrapped vehicles, with Lainey Hollings positioned in front of him, her usual mask of exasperation covering her face even if Dean could still detect a flicker of her old mischievousness beneath it.

"That's what you always tell me," she pointed out. "But no one's had me committed yet."

Dean snorted at the humor.

"Only because you haven't stayed in one place long enough for anyone to try," he retorted without missing a beat.

He realized seconds too late that it was a joke that might've landed poorly — he'd only been thinking about how much she'd moved around as a kid, same as him and Sam, but had momentarily forgotten how fresh her wounds still seemed to be from her stint in the foster care system. Lainey didn't seem bothered though, sending him back a wry smile and starting to move towards the tower of metal.

"Thank god for that," she joked. "You coming or not?"

In the weeks since their dad had dropped him and Sam at Bobby's, Dean had taken to helping the old man out fixing up cars that had been towed in on the weekends. Today, though, Bobby had told him they were taking the day off. He said it was because he had a bunch of research to do, but Dean suspected it was another one of Bobby's attempts to give him a moment of normalcy, to just "be a kid" as he'd always been fond of saying.

Whatever the reason, Dean hadn't been about to complain. Especially not when the opportunity presented itself to finally figure out where Lainey was always mysteriously disappearing to. It felt like she was full of secrets these days, and he'd been curious since he'd gotten there, but ever since he'd had the curtain pulled back for him on the bullying situation, he'd been downright determined to unravel each and every mystery with her.

When he caught her slipping quietly out of the house, he'd expected her to reveal she was heading into town, or maybe even going over to the new neighbor's house — she had been spending more and more time with Beatrice from his observation. He hadn't expected to find out that Lainey had apparently been using one of the rusted out vans stacked in the scrap pile as a sort of treehouse or some shit when she wanted a break.

Turning around wasn't even a thought though, and so with a sigh Dean took off after her, approaching the heap with no small amount of trepidation. Sizing up the structure, he had to admit it was stable, which wasn't surprising — Lainey was one of the smartest people he knew, not that he'd ever admit that to her — but there was something about the height to which they were about to climb that set him on edge. Felt like something akin to the fear of flying he'd always harbored, but not nearly as intense.

Leaves crunched under his feet as he walked, and the sun beat down on them. It was a decently warm day, but there was no mistaking that autumn was in full swing. All the neighbors' houses and the school were decked out for Halloween, and though trees were sparse on Bobby's property because of the yard, all the ones around them had totally morphed from the lush greens of summer to the reds, yellows, and oranges of fall. He was comfortable in his flannel, but had already started opting to add a coat most days.

"You got Beatrice to climb up this shit?" he asked skeptically when he reached the base of the pile. Lainey had already been reaching for a bumper with a familiarity that reinforced just how common of an occurrence this must have been, and looked back at him over her shoulder. Beatrice had certainly hit it off with Lainey since starting at Sioux Falls High, but she didn't seem to share in Lainey's recklessness, though in all fairness, few people did.

"Mmhmm. She's probably already up there," Lainey informed him. Then, without dawdling any longer, she began to climb. Dean watched for a moment, taking note of the way she moved and the places she used as foot and hand holes. She was about six feet above him when he finally started to move too, mimicking her path to the best of his ability. The creaks and groans of the metal under his weight made his stomach knot more, but Dean ignored it, reminding himself that Lainey knew what she was doing, and if the structure wasn't stable, something probably would have happened by now anyway.

He only made the mistake of looking down once, at which point the world spun uncomfortably for a moment until Lainey called after him, pulling him back to reality and getting him moving again. The rest of the climb passed quickly and without incident, not seeming as bad as he had imagined from the ground, and he was surprised when he got to the top to find that Beatrice had in fact beaten them there, and that somehow Lainey had managed to turn rusted-out-old-van into something that actually seemed almost cool.

There were a bunch of old pillows and blankets piled into the cargo area, a radio/CD player combo shoved in the corner by one of the seats with a bunch of CDs scattered around it, and a bunch of string lights tacked around that seemed to be hooked up to some sort of battery pack. Dean wondered how exactly she'd gotten it all up here, but he didn't have a chance to ask, as she was already clambering inside and she'd been right that Beatrice was already there.

"She roped you into this too, huh?"

Beatrice was sat back against one of the side walls, textbook and binder open next to her with a notepad in her lap and pen in her hand, but she'd looked up at the sound of Dean and Lainey breaching Lainey's sanctuary. Dean snorted as he hauled himself the rest of the way in and carefully situated himself diagonally from Beatrice, leaning back against the opposite sidewall and careful to leave the exit not all that far away.

"Hazards of being friends with Hollings, Bea — you always gotta be prepared for her to pull you into something absolutely dangerous and ridiculous."

Beatrice chuckled softly, her eyes already returning to her study materials. Meanwhile, to his left, Lainey landed a swift hit to his arm — not hard, more of a shove than anything, but enough to make her point — and Dean let out a soft grunt.

"Fuck you, Winchester. You love being my friend."

"Yeah, you keep tellin' yourself that," he quipped back, but there was no heat in his voice — only laughter, if anything. They both knew the truth of her statement, even if they didn't talk about it. The past few days weeks had only served to reinforce it.

Beatrice was glancing between them, amusement dancing in her eyes even as her brows arched.

"You two are something else," she muttered, even as she jotted something down into her notepad, her eyes scanning text from the book next to her. "How long have you been friends, again?"

Lainey caught his eye while she reached under some of the pillows for something, a thoughtful expression on her face Dean usually saw when she was trying to do math. Chick was brilliant but mental math was the one place she always seemed to struggle. He let her answer though, curious to hear what she'd say.

It had been better between them, since the Maddie situation had come to a head, but Dean hadn't quite forgotten how distant she'd been when he and Sam had first gotten there. Or the arguments they'd had those first few weeks. Or the absolute venom that had been in her voice at times.

But Lainey smiled triumphantly, seeming to come to an answer just as her hand found whatever she'd been reaching for.

"What, about eight years now, I think?" She tossed something into his lap before reaching back under the pillows again, this time withdrawing her hand faster and coming out with a worn paperback. "Something like that."

Dean looked down at his lap, temporarily losing track of the conversation as he took note that Lainey had tossed him a magazine. It was obviously one of hers, and something she'd read through more than once based on the wear showing on the pages, but it didn't feel like a random choice. She hadn't tossed him one of those stupid rags he'd seen her with, advertising shit like makeup tips, hairstyles, or whatever other shit teenage girls seemed interested in. Instead it was what seemed to be a special issue of The Rolling Stone, covering the greatest rock and roll bands from the 70's.

He looked up to thank her, but Lainey had already settled into her own world, knees pulled up near her chest and the paperback opened and resting against them as her eyes absorbed the text on the page. When he hadn't been paying attention, either she or Beatrice had hit play on the CD player, and the familiar bars of Ramblin' On were now floating quietly across the air. Dean paused for a moment before following suit and settling into his own space with the magazine.

Even as he did though, he couldn't help but watch Lainey from the corner of his eye. The sun was coming in from the front of the van, catching her hair and highlighting her like a beacon. He still hated that fuckass brown she'd dyed it, especially now that he knew why, and he missed the red. But the soft smile playing across her face coupled with the complete lack of tension in her posture threatened to stir something in Dean's chest he wasn't entirely comfortable examining.

Whatever it was threatened to happen again a little while later when Beatrice sighed and made some complaint about being hungry but not wanting to climb back down to go in the house.

Dean had been unsurprised when Lainey's face had visibly brightened, a familiar spark taking hold in her eye before she dove towards the front of the van. Beatrice looked surprised, if not mildly concerned, catching Dean's eye as they both sat there and watched. He only shook his head and went back to the magazine when Lainey remerged, holding a bag that was about halfway full, containing the usual assortment of candy.

Lainey Hollings and her sweet tooth could always be counted on to have some sort of snack lying around. Even if it was all sugar.

What did surprise Dean was when a handful of twizzlers and peanut M&M's landed in his lap on top of the magazine without a word. He glanced up, catching Lainey's eye just as she was settling back into her own seat and reaching for her book again. Reading the silent question on his face, she shrugged, a faint blush blooming across her cheeks.

"They're your favorite, right? You always say the peanut ones are better," she said dismissively, her voice taking on that gruffness that always seemed to appear when she was embarrassed.

"Uh yeah," he mumbled. "Thanks."

Lainey gave him an almost stiff nod before burying her head back in the book and Dean slowly returned to the magazine, absentmindedly picking at the candy all the while watching Lainey from the corner of his eye.

He wasn't sure why, and he wouldn't admit it to anyone else, but there was something about her that made him feel a little warmer inside… and he didn't entirely hate it.

November 1997

"Shhhh!!! Don't wanna get caught."

It was late, the hallway nearly pitch black, as Dean trailed behind Lainey, following her back to her single dorm room up on the 8th floor of the building. He'd just bumped into a trash can and cursed under his breath, which was what had prompted the shushing, but Dean couldn't help but think it anyone was going to get them caught, it was going to be Lainey. Still, he held a finger up to his lips, silently mimicking her call for silence, and the action seemed to appease his girlfriend, as she turned forward at that and continued back along their route.

Lainey had been at Stanford for a little over two months, and this was already the third time Dean had managed to visit. The first had been to help her move in — an effort he was joined in by not only Bobby, but his dad and Sam too — and the second had only been a random Saturday that they'd been close enough he and Sam had managed to make a day trip without alerting their dad.

This time, he, Sam, and his dad had been dealing with a poltergeist about five hours north, and his dad had surprised him by telling him it was a job well done and that he could take a few days and 'go visit his girl.' It wasn't unprecedented, but it wasn't exactly common either, and Dean had wasted no time in taking off before his dad could have a chance to change his mind. John Winchester had always liked Lainey Hollings well enough, but Dean knew his dad was less than thrilled about her relationship with him.

He'd surprised her, showing up past midnight the night before and sneaking into her dorm room with enough ease that he'd given her shit about it in the morning when they were both more awake. She'd been ecstatic to see him — happy enough that she hadn't even minded being woken up when, usually, prematurely waking Lainey up was asking to be chewed out — and had wasted no time pulling him into bed with her. They'd lost themselves in their reunion, neither of them caring about how exhausted they were or the late hour, and opting to hit the snooze button repeatedly on Lainey's alarm when it went off in the morning.

Tonight, though, Lainey had gotten the bright idea that while he was visiting he should get what she called 'the full college experience', and had dragged his ass to some party. He'd been skeptical, but Dean still remembered all too clearly how much Lainey had struggled with the other kids in high school, and kept his mouth firmly shut. If she was going to do the college thing, even if she was still going to try to do the hunting thing with it, he wanted her to be happy doing it. Friends, he knew, and fitting in or at least finding a niche, were key parts of that — even if they'd never had much place in his own world.

It had ended up being fun, even if it wasn't what Dean would have thought to go do on his own time, and by the time they'd left to stumble back to her dorm room, they were both properly drunk. The world seemed to tilt as they finally paused outside her door and Lainey began to fumble for her keys. Unable to resist, Dean sidled up behind her, pressing against her back and letting his hands find purchase on her hips, though he might have left one wander towards her front, while he dipped his head to he level with hers.

"Hurry up, Hollings," he whispered against her ear, relishing the shiver he felt go down her spine and the way her breath caught. Dean often found the effect he had on her to be nearly as intoxicating as the booze still coursing through his veins. "Don't wanna get caught."

Lainey giggled — something she really only did when she was trashed — and turned her head, seemingly to capture his lips in a kiss. But at that moment, she dropped the keys she'd just managed to find and cursed as they fell to the floor, making extra noise as they bounced against the metal doorframe.

"Smooth," he chuckled, starting to tease but trailing off when she bent to retrieve the key ring and deliberately pressed her ass against his groin. "Baby," he groaned, his grip tightening on her hips. Her answering smile told him she knew exactly what she was doing.

"Who's smooth now?" she retorted, that familiar mischief dancing in her eyes.

She was just as heated as he was, though, and as soon as the door mercifully shut behind them, Dean found himself with an armful of Lainey as he backed her towards the twin bed, both of them clumsily shedding clothes as they went.

"Have I let you know yet," she got out between kisses, her fingers fumbling with his belt, "how happy I am to see you?"

"Hmm," he hummed, reaching to help her. "Might've… you're welcome to keep showing me though."

They kept walking backwards and were just about at the edge of the bed when one of them, Dean wasn't even sure who, tripped, bringing them both down. Luckily the mattress broke their fall, but he still swore, moving as quickly as his reflexes would allow to brace against his arms and avoid crushing Lainey.

"Too fucking dark," he complained. "I wanna see you."

In the dim moonlight filtering through the singular window in her room, he watched her catch her bottom lip beneath her teeth as she looked up at him.

"But the lights'll be so bright."

She wasn't wrong, and Dean started to frown when a different thought occurred to him. One that might not have had he been sober but in his uninhibited state came freely.

"Bet you could do something about that, couldn't you sweetheart?" he suggested, moving to mouth at the sensitive skin of her neck. Lainey gasped in pleasure but he felt her tense simultaneously at what he was hinting towards.

It was still a relatively new discovery of hers, of theirs really, that Lainey wasn't totally normal. That she had some sort of natural talent with magic. Privately, Dean thought she was one of those rare, natural born witches he and even his dad had always thought were nothing more than myth, but Lainey still hadn't come to grips with that particular term yet.

At first it had just been little things they'd both noticed but tried to write off — things breaking when she was particularly scared or angry, lights flaring when things got particularly heated, lost objects appearing seemingly out of nowhere in the middle of frantic searches. There were enough incidents that Dean'd had his suspicions for some time, though Lainey had always staunchly refused to acknowledge anything was out of the ordinary. Until they'd been investigating an abandoned house and Dean had fallen through the rotting stairs, and somehow instead of actually falling with the rest of the debris he just… hovered… while Lainey stared at him in terror, her eyes glowing fucking purple until she'd shaken off the shock and helped pull him back up.

Dean had been freaked, but Lainey had been freaked enough for both of them, and he'd found himself quickly shifting gears to try and talk her down. In the time that had since pased, he'd gotten used to the idea. Maybe he shouldn't have, maybe he should have been concerned, but it was Lainey. At the end of the day, nothing else really mattered.

Lainey had gotten better with it too, but she was still uncomfortable with the concept, still shied away from that part of herself. And for the most part, Dean tried to respect it, even if he hated seeing her tangled up over something she hadn't asked for. It wasn't like he didn't understand. Growing up the way they had… some instincts were just hard to shake.

"Dean," she breathed, her grip on him tightening, her voice half moan and half warning.

"C'mon, Lainey," he pushed, "it's just me, here. I know you gotta have some trick up your sleeve."

She didn't answer immediately and Dean started to slow down, getting ready to ask if she at least had a lamp. But then Lainey was pulling back from them, her eyes alight with excitement tempered by a cautiousness he only ever saw when it came to her magic.

"I do actually have a trick," she admitted, her voice uncharacteristically shy, her teeth tugging at that bottom lip of hers again. Dean smiled back, moving his hand from where it had been working the button of her jeans to cradle her face instead. He swept his thumb over her cheekbone just before dipping his head and capturing her lips in a kiss, this one slower and less frantic than the others they'd shared, but no less deep.

"Show me," he told her, his words muffled because he hadn't bothered to pull away. Their tongues tangled again, but when she broke it off, her expression was focused — or as focused as it could be considering how wasted they both still were — and Dean went back to peppering her neck with kisses instead, steadily working his way lower.

It didn't take her long — Dean was just past her collarbone when soft, yellow lights suddenly erupted in the air around them and he glanced up to see what looked like a cross between fairy lights and floating candles casting a soft glow over them, providing a soft light that was otherworldly. It was startling and incredible enough to break through even the heat currently controlling his mind, and Dean felt his breath catch as he took it in, his eyes widening.

Eventually, Lainey's fingers started trailing the bare skin of his back again, pulling him back to reality, and when he turned around to meet her eyes, that hesitant almost nervous look was back.

"Is that alright?"

Dean didn't hesitate, he just moved forwards, pressing his mouth to hers in a searing kiss.

"It's incredible, baby," he whispered against her. "You're incredible."

Something distinctly different from lust twisted in his gut when her cheeks flushed and that anxious smile gave way to a genuine one. Then she was kissing him again and this time Dean let himself get lost in the moment… in the feel of Lainey's skin against his, the smell of her shampoo, the warmth of her touch, the taste that was uniquely her nearly masked by lingering traces of the mango rum she'd been drinking like it was water.

It wasn't until later, until after, when they were lying in her cramped bed, wrapped in each other's arms and the sweat still cooling on their skin, that Dean found the doubt and self-consciousness creeping in — familiar as a well worn flannel but irritating as an itchy sweater. His head still swam pleasantly from the buzz of both the liquor and his activities with Lainey, but as she absently traced light patterns along his chest and his eyes tracked the lights still floating around them, reality threatened to intrude.

What they had was too good to last. What they were doing wasn't sustainable. Hunters didn't get the kind of happy ending that Dean dreamed about with Lainey.

He'd always thought she was too good for him, had always known that on some level, but the fear that she'd wake up one day and wonder what the hell she was doing with a guy like him had increased tenfold since she'd started applying to colleges.

They might have started in the same place, growing up with hardly two cents to rub together, getting hauled all over the fucking country with no sense of permanency and being exposed to the things that were most people's worst nightmares as if they were normal. But they hadn't grown in the same direction. She was beautiful, smart as hell, tough as nails, and had a future in front of her that most hunters didn't dare to even dream of. She had a way out, a chance at something more for herself. He was a high school drop out that followed orders and had no skills to speak of aside from hustling pool and killing things that needed killing.

Lainey was the best damn thing that had ever happened to him — they might have been young, but he knew that with a surety he felt about few other things in his life — and he loved her more than anything. But he couldn't offer her the life she deserved, and Dean knew it was only a matter of time until that caught up with them. Until she realized what she was missing out on by being with him and left his ass behind in the dust.

Of course, Lainey was oblivious to the turmoil in his head, and her content sigh managed to disrupt his spiraling thoughts.

"Thank you," she murmured, her voice still carrying that slurred quality it took on when she was either particularly blissed out or wasted. Dean figured in this case it was probably a combination of both. It was a sentiment he hadn't been expecting, though, and he paused, inclining his head to look down at her through raised brows. Her head was nestled against his chest, her red hair contrasting against his skin and reminding him in that moment of fire.

It was fitting. Dean figured there was nothing else that had the potential to burn him the way Lainey Hollings could.

"For what?"

"For tonight," she shrugged. "For going out with me… for meeting my friends and putting up with all the people… I know it's not really your thing."

Dean could have laughed. As if he'd deny her anything she wanted that was his to give. The fact that she thought he would tugged at a weird heartstring and he pressed a gentle but firm kiss to the crown of her head, tightening his arms around her.

"You don't have to thank me for that, Laine. I had fun… I always have fun when I'm with you."

A soft, lazy smile formed on her face that had Dean unable to look away, her skin almost seeming to glow in the warm lighting. The sight of it chased the doubt away, even if only temporarily, and for a moment the world fell away. Whatever was going to happen, whatever road ahead of them, they had this, here and now, and Dean wasn't dumb enough to soak it in while he could.

The moment was broken when his stomach let out a loud rumble, and Lainey gave another one of those giggles, this time twisting to look up at him.

"Hungry?" she asked, a teasing edge to her voice. Dean grinned sheepishly and shrugged.

"Maybe a bit," he admitted. Lainey frowned and picked her head up, straining to see the digital clock near the bed.

"I'd say we could order something, but everywhere's probably closed. I might have something in the mini fridge though." She nodded towards the black box sitting against the wall, their clothes from earlier still lying on the floor in front of it, combined with other odds and ends Lainey hadn't bothered to straighten up in the last few days.

Dean thought for a moment, debating, but then his stomach made another noise and he admitted defeat and swung his legs over the side of the bed, reaching for his boxers.

"What're the actual chances you have anything edible in there?" he asked as he knelt down on the floor, looking back up at her over his shoulder. Lainey was propped up on one elbow, watching him with a fondness that made his head spin, the sheet pooling around her waist and affording him an unobstructed view of her upper body that threatened to get him going all over again.

"What exactly are you implying, Winchester?" she challeneged, and Dean snorted. She knew exactly what he was implying, they both did, and the fucking smell when he pulled the door open confirmed he'd had good reason.

"That you're a fucking mess. Jesus, Laine, when was the last time you cleaned this thing out?"

She shrugged, sitting up more fully, completely unbothered.

"I've pretty much been living off coffee and croissants from the cart by the library for the past week or so," she admitted. "Had that long ass paper to hand in… oh!"

He'd been on the verge of lecturing her, not for the first time, about taking better care of herself when her eyes had lit up. Before he knew it, she was slipping his t-shirt over her head, the garment dwarfing her smaller frame and catching her mid thigh as she slid onto the floor next to him. Without any explanation, she began rooting around under the bed while Dean watched on curiously, even though he could already guess where this was going.

Sure enough, seconds later she was sitting back on her heels — until she lost her balance and fell backwards practically into his lap — holding a bag of candy and smiling up at him as if she'd solved world hunger.

"You can have some of this," she offered, already digging her own hand through the stash as she did. "Chocolate doesn't go bad."

Dean shook his head, but followed her lead anyway, using his other hand to hold her steady against him.

She was such a fucking menace, was liable to drive him into an early grave… but he didn't know what he'd do without her either.

"You know," he commented, pulling out one of the little packets of peanut M&M's, his mouth already watering, "you can't just live off of caffeine and sugar."

"Watch me," she got out through the mouthful of Snickers bar she was trying to chew. "Besides, who are you to judge, Mr. Heartattack-on-a-plate-with-a-side-of-bacon?"

She had him there, but Dean ignored her.

"We're going to the store tomorrow," he said instead, "and buying some real fucking food before I leave so I don't have to worry about whether or not you're gonna go into a diabetic coma on me."

Lainey peeled the wrapper back further on the chocolate bar, the smile on her face betraying that she wasn't actually annoyed when she rolled her eyes.

"Whatever you say, Dean," she sing-songed. "Whatever you say."

And when the morning eventually came, though it was admittedly afternoon by the time they managed to actually make it out of bed, she didn't put up a fight when Dean made good on the promise, and Dean didn't say anything when she grabbed another two bags of candy off the shelf.

June 2000

Dean squinted against the late afternoon sun as he leaned back on Impala, arms braced behind him against the hood. Lee Webb was next to him, situated similarly, though he was actually sitting atop the car, and his fingers were drumming restlessly against the metal — hot from baking in the sun all day.

The parking lot of the motel they'd been crashing at was nearly deserted aside from Dean and Lee's cars, a beat up truck at the far end, and a minivan parked near the office. They were on the outskirts of town, having chosen the cheapest of the cheap after having just splurged for Lainey's 21st. All three of them had walked away from Vegas with surprisingly decent winnings, but Lainey had made the point that they shouldn't get used to things they couldn't afford. Dean suspected it had more to do with the fact that she'd been quietly stashing away all the cash she could for when she went back to school in the fall — something about lab fees, exams 'costing a fucking fortune, and grad school applications — but he hadn't fought her, and Lee had been agreeable as always.

The three of them had been heading to meet up with his dad and Sam when they'd heard about some bodies that sounded like their kind of thing — brains all liquefied, hearts gnawed on, and feet missing — and had decided to stop and check it out. This time of year, the Nevada air was dry and the sun was scorching. Dean could feel the sweat beginning to gather at the back of his neck and the beginnings of a sunburn despite the fact that the sun was already starting its descent.

"You sure this is our kind of thing?" Lee asked, not for the first time. "I ain't ever heard of a monster does shit like this to a person… could be some freaky serial killer."

Dean shrugged, absently toeing at a loose rock by his foot. "Even if it is, still screams 'evil' to me," he reasoned.

"Fair enough," Lee conceded, leaning back. "And what's the plan if we actually find the fucker? Try and take 'em down with silver?"

"You got a better idea?"

"No," Lee snorted. "But it still seems risky as hell, man."

"When isn't it," Dean muttered, his own humorless laughter underlying his voice drawing out something more genuine and robust from Lee.

"A valid observation, brother," he chortled, fingers finally ceasing their beating on the car just as Dean glanced down towards his watch. "What's life without a little risk anyway?"

Dean nodded distractedly, his eyes already darting back towards the door to his and Lainey's motel room. She had at least let him spring for a separate room… where she was still holed up despite the fact that they had places to be.

"Where the hell is she, anyway?" he groused, his impatience finally threatening to boil over. Lainey had never exactly been punctual, but she wasn't usually this bad. "We were supposed to be on the road twenty minutes ago."

Lee smirked, that easy, care-free and warm aura around him that had first caught Dean's attention a few years ago, when he'd been hunting a ghoul down in Texas. "Relax, you of all people know how Lainey is. Besides, sun's not even down yet."

Dean checked his watch again, frown deepening. "Yeah, but I wanted to scope out the place before dark. Daylight's gonna be all gone at this rate."

"We'll make it work," Lee assured him, pushing off the car and back onto his feet to stretch his arms above his head. His t-shirt rode up slightly, revealing a strip of tanned skin and the edge of what Dean knew to be a jagged scar from a black dog hunt they'd worked together the previous year. "We always do. Besides, if you go in there and start bitching, she's just gonna be sour all night. You know how much she hates being rushed."

Dean grunted in acknowledgement — Lee wasn't wrong, though it did little to quell the restlessness taking hold of his body. Finally after a minute, he pushed off the Impala too and reached for his pocket to fish out his room key.

"I'm just gonna go check on her," he announced. "Be right back."

"Take your time," Lee called after him, settling back against the car and tilting his face up toward the dwindling sunlight. "I'm not going anywhere. Though maybe try and keep it in your pants this time. We don't have that long."

Dean flipped him off but continued on without turning around. The walk to room 14 was short — just a few doors down from where they were parked — and Dean slid the key into the lock, twisting it with ease to gain access. Cold air hit him in the face immediately, feeling almost like ice after the heat outside but a welcome relief nonetheless.

Inside, the room was dim, the curtains still drawn in their attempt to keep the sun from competing too heavily with the AC, and eerily quiet.

"Lainey?" Dean called out, letting the door swing shut behind him. Her bag was still sitting on the unused bed next to his, open with her clothes spilling out of it haphazardly and a pair of sandals thrown on top. His eyes caught on the outside pocket of his own bag, still zippered shut but the small bulge — inconspicuous to anyone but him — seeming like a flashing neon sign, reminding him of the ring his dad had tossed in with his stuff while he'd been packing for Vegas and the weight that had been on his mind since. He shook it off though, knowing now wasn't the time.

Books were still littered across the small table from when they'd been trying to research earlier, half drunk to-go cups sat on the dresser, but no Lainey. No response came either and Dean frowned, moving further into the room.

"Laine?" he tried again. "C'mon, sweetheart. We got shit to do."

Still nothing, and that was when Dean noticed the closed bathroom door, lights visible through the crack at the bottom. Sighing, Dean approached.

"I swear to god, Laine," he complained when he got close enough, his voice heavy now with exasperation, "if you're in there fucking around with your makeup again, we're gonna fight. We don't have time for this crap."

He was expecting a swift, snarky retort — the kind his spitfire of a girlfriend was known for. Instead there was a beat of silence before Lainey's voice filtered through the door, too calm and just a touch higher than normal.

"Just give me another minute, I'll be right out!"

Anyone else might have written it off as Lainey just being a bit rushed or distracted and let it go, left it at that. But Dean Winchester had known Lainey Hollings for more than half his life, and had spent nearly half that time in love with her. He knew every inflection, every cadence of her voice, and the slight tremor he detected now set off all the alarms.

"Lainey? You okay in there?" He asked tentatively, his earlier impatience evaporating instantly.

"I'm fine," came her reply, too quick and too snappish to be convincing. "Just — just give me a minute, alright?"

Dean hesitated, his hand hovering near the doorknob. An upset Lainey was always a powderkeg. "Yeah, you don't sound fine."

"Jesus, Dean, can I have five fucking minutes of privacy?"

The words were sharp and defensive in a way that only confirmed his suspicion that something was wrong. Lainey got prickly when she was hurting – it was her default setting, had been since they were kids. He'd seen it a thousand times, especially as they'd gotten older.

"Laine," he said, gentler now, "what's going on?"

"Nothing! I told you, I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute."

Dean sighed, leaning his forehead against the door. "Baby, I can tell something's wrong. Just talk to me."

Silence followed, stretching for so long that Dean began to wonder if she actually thought he'd go away if she ignored him long enough. His hand was still on the doorknob, thoughts of saying 'fuck it', and going in anyway dancing in his head. After all this time, it wasn't like they really had any boundaries anymore. But then he heard it — a soft, muffled sob she couldn't quite contain.

It was all the answer he needed and without waiting, he tried the knob. Mercifully, it was unlocked, though he'd have had no qualms with picking the lock. This way was certainly easier though.

Lainey was sitting on the edge of the tub when he pushed the door open and didn't so much as stir at the noise. Her face was buried in her hands, elbows braced against her knees, her body trembling slightly as she tried to contain her sobs. Auburn hair had fallen forward, creating a curtain that partially obscured his view, but he could see enough. He didn't know what the hell had happened, but this wasn't her usual MO.

"Hey," he said softly, trying but failing to keep the rising panic out of his voice as he moved to crouch in front of her. "Hey, what happened? What's going on?"

Lainey shook her head without looking up, refusing to look up, holding her hands more firmly against her face as if the action could physically hold back the tears. Dean's stomach lurched. The only other time he'd ever seen anything like this from her had been when they were fourteen, and his dad had come back to the motel to deliver the news that her dad hadn't made it — though that, he silently acknowledged, had been significantly worse. It was a very slight reassurance.

"It's stupid," she managed, her voice thick. "Just… just go back outside. I'll be fine… catch up with you and Lee in a minute."

"Yeah, not a chance," Dean immediately dismissed, reaching out to gently pull her hands away from her face. The sight of her tear-streaked cheeks and red, puffy eyes made his chest ache. Lainey Hollings didn't cry — not over cuts and bruises, not over broken bones, not even when when they'd had to dig shrapnel out of her hip with nothing but whiskey for anesthetic.

"Dean, I'm fine," she tried again, but he ignored her.

"C'mere," he murmured instead, pulling her down into his lap. She allowed it, moving without any resistance, her face immediately finding the crook of his neck as her arms came up and over his shoulders. Dean held her close, one hand cradling the back of her head while the other splayed across her back, slowly moving up and down in what he hoped was a soothing motion. For a moment, she was unnaturally still, but then her whole body shook, really shook, and he felt wet tears against his skin.

"It's okay," he whispered into her hair, hoping like hell he wasn't lying, not letting his grip loosen for even a moment. "Whatever it is, I've got you. You're okay."

They sat like that for several long minutes, Dean murmuring quiet reassurances while Lainey's tears gradually subsided. When her breathing had finally steadied, Dean pulled back just enough to look at her face, using his thumb to gently wipe away the moisture from her cheeks and smooth hair back from her face.

"You want to tell me what's going on?" he finally asked, keeping his voice low and free of judgment. Lainey sniffled, looking embarrassed and vulnerable in a way Dean rarely saw her.

"It's stupid," she repeated, though with less conviction this time. She sounded almost defeated.

"If it's got you this upset, whatever it is, it's not stupid," Dean countered. "Come on, Lainey. It's just us here, you know you can tell me anything. Talk to me. What's going on?"

She let out a heavy exhale, sniffling and nestling her head back against his shoulder, though this time, at least, she didn't try to hide her face. One of her arms dropped, but he noticed she still settled it around his waist, the tightness with which she gripped at his shirt betraying how much she wanted him there. Even if she wouldn't actually admit that.

"I got a call while you and Lee were loading up the car," she mumbled. Dean nodded, patiently waiting for her to continue. She seemed to wrestle with herself for another second before huffing and blinking back more tears. Then her head shook, as if she thought the action could physically dispel the emotional turmoil, but opened her mouth to continue. "It was some jackass from this company Kyle's been working for, I guess. Don't remember his name, he had some fancy title… whatever. Apparently, for God knows what reason, Kyle still has me listed as his emergency contact."

Dean wisely didn't comment at the way her voice caught on her brother's name, but he had to fight not to let himself tense at the mention of Kyle Hollings. Growing up, Dean'd never had a problem with the guy, but he'd never particularly liked him either. Though as kids, Dean had at least thought the dude was a decent big brother — he'd doted on Lainey, even if he sometimes got exasperated with her, in a way that had enabled her recklessness and care-free, bubbly attitude to a point that Dean had often found himself ready to pull his own hair out around her.

But then Ron Hollings got himself killed, and instead of stepping up, Kyle had abandoned Lainey to the foster system after only sticking it out for a few months, citing it was 'in her best interests', although Dean was absolutely certain if it hadn't been for Bobby eventually stepping in, it would have been, without a doubt, the worst thing that had ever happened to Lainey. Her stint in foster care hadn't been particularly long, but the girl that had come out on the other side had been broken and damaged in ways Dean hadn't seen with someone their age.

In Dean's book, it was unforgivable. It was the act that had finally sealed Dean's opinion of the older Hollings sibling, and had rendered him persona non grata. In Lainey's book, too, he knew, but it was more complicated for her, and so Dean was always careful to keep his own opinions and feelings about Kyle to himself, not wanting to add to the weight. Lainey was the first person to talk shit about her brother, or throw out a snide comment — Dean had lost count of how many times she'd quipped 'Brother? What brother?' or said 'Might as well be dead for all I care'. Some of the anger and hate was real, but Dean knew a lot of it was posturing… her way of covering up how much Kyle had hurt her. And he knew Lainey still loved her brother, even if that love was now tangled with hurt and resentment.

"What did the guy want?" Dean asked, keeping his voice neutral. He didn't have a good feeling about where this was going. Especially when she still wouldn't meet his eyes, her own welling up again, and her grip tightening.

"He said — said Kyle was dead. Some kind of… accident… on a job site."

Dean felt his stomach drop. "Jesus, Laine. I'm so sorry."

But Lainey was quickly shaking her head, before he'd even finished getting the words out, a humorless laugh escaping her. "No, that's… that's the thing. He's not, he's fine." Her voice cracked again, but she swallowed and continued on. "Someone came and interrupted while we were still on the phone. It was a mistake. There was a mix up. Someone else got hurt. Kyle was there, but it wasn't him. He's fine."

Dean blinked, trying to process this information. "So... he's okay?"

Lainey nodded that time, still sniffling and wiping at her eyes stubbornly. "Yep. He's perfectly fucking fine. And I'm sitting here, falling apart over nothing like a fucking child. Like I said — it's stupid. I'm so —"

"It's not stupid," Dean said firmly, cutting her off, his hand sliding from her cheek to the back of her neck, fingers tangling in her hair and making her look up at him. "You thought your brother died, Laine. Of course you're upset."

"But he didn't," she insisted. "Nothing happened. And even if he had, I shouldn't be..."

"Lainey," Dean interrupted again, "don't even go there, sweetheart. Doesn't matter how screwed up things are between you two, or how much he's fucked up. Kyle's your family. It's normal that you'd have feelings. I mean, come on, we're not talking about something stupid like a broken nail here. You thought someone you loved died. That's gonna mess with anyone's head, even if it turned out to be a false alarm."

Lainey chewed on her lip, eyes still watery and looking unconvinced. Dean waited patiently, watching as her eyes went unfocused, falling to some undefined spot on the wall over his shoulder, until finally she took a shuddering, shaking breath.

"All I could think about," she admitted, "when they said he was gone, was how long it had been since we'd talked. How… bitchy I am when he does call. And the stupid fuck still has me listed as his emergency contact. I mean, what the hell is he thinking? Why the hell would he do that?"

They were both quiet for a moment, Lainey still avoiding his eyes and Dean finding himself unable to look away. He hated seeing her in pain, would have rathered cut off his own arm, but he knew some things he couldn't fix for her.

"You know," he eventually said, with great care knowing the suggestion he was about to make would be controversial to say the least. Guaranteed to set her off in literally any other context. "You could call him. When we're done with this hunt, I mean. Maybe when we get back to Bobby's. Just to, I don't know, check in or whatever."

The fact that she didn't automatically curse him out spoke volumes about how shaken she really was, or would have if the crying hadn't already given her away.

"Yeah maybe," she mumbled after a few beats, and Dean felt a small surge of relief. For all his personal feelings about Kyle Hollings, he knew that the estrangement was a deep source of pain for Lainey that always lurked in the background, even if she tried to pretend otherwise.

"Okay," Dean nodded, not wanting to push his luck. "No pressure. Just throwing it out there."

Lainey offered him a weak smile in reply, the first he'd seen since entering the bathroom. "I know. Thanks."

Dean smiled back, wiping a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb and dipping his head to press his lips to hers. It was short, chaste by their standards, but meaningful, and Dean lent his forehead against hers when he broke it off.

"You don't have to thank me for anything. I love you, Lainey. Told you, I got you."

"I love you too," she said, then sniffed, her whole face scrunching as she pulled back. "Fuck, what a mess. I must look like shit."

"Nah," Dean countered with a small grin and a teasing lilt to his voice, "you're still the prettiest girl in the room. Always are."

That earned him an eye roll and a gentle shove, but he could see the ghost of a smile playing at her lips and that was all that mattered to him.

"Shut up," she muttered, clumsily pushing to her feet. Dean followed suit, helping steady her as they went and going to lean in the doorframe while she went for the sink. He watched her turn the tap for the cold water, wasting no time in splashing some on her face. It was an action she repeated twice more, then patted her face dry with one of the spare towels and ran her fingers through her hair in an attempt to tame it. The transformation was subtle but effective – anyone who didn't know her as well as he did would never guess she'd been falling apart just minutes earlier.

"Lee's probably wondering what's taking so long," she said, applying a fresh coat of lip balm and catching his eye in the mirror.

"Lee's fine," Dean assured her. "Probably enjoying the peace and quiet. I'm more worried about you."

"I'm fine," she said automatically. Dean knew better than to believe that, but he also knew that she needed to if she was gonna get through the night, so he nodded. "Just need a minute to grab my stuff."

"Yeah, okay," he finally conceded. "I'll meet you outside."

He was halfway out the bathroom door when her hand reached out, her slender fingers wrapping around his wrist and tugging him back. Dean paused, looking over his shoulder in surprise, and noted her expression was suddenly vulnerable again.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

She swallowed hard. "Don't tell Lee about this, please? Not about the call, and especially not… just… don't tell him I cried."

If his tolerance to see her in pain weren't so damn low, he'd have been exasperated, because of course that's what she'd be worried about — that god forbid someone besides him find out she wasn't completely impervious. But as it were, he couldn't stand it, and without hesitation, he turned back around, moving in smoothly to wrap an arm around her and press a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"I won't, baby," he murmured against her skin. "Stays just between you and me. Promise."

Relief flickered across her face, and she nodded gratefully before taking a deep breath and turning back towards the mirror. "Okay. Thanks."

Dean stepped away, giving her space to collect herself fully. "No problem. I'll be outside," he said again, heading for the door. "Take your time."

His eyes caught on his duffel again as he backtracked through their room to the front door, his stomach doing that weird flip he'd come to expect every time he thought about the ring sitting inside it.

"Figure your mother would've wanted you to have it…" his dad had said, voice gruff, his stance telegraphing just how awkward he felt. "She'd have liked Lainey. And she'd have wanted you two to be happy. Just… don't be stupid. And I ain't telling you what should do, here. I'm just saying that if you want to… I'd understand."

The whole interaction had left Dean reeling. His dad had always liked Lainey, always had a bit of a soft spot for her, but it was no secret he disapproved of her relationship with Dean. Marriage wasn't something Dean had even let himself consider before, wasn't even a concept that had registered in his list of possibilities… it was too close to that picket fence kind of life hunters didn't get, even if he knew Lainey was it for him. But he couldn't help but contemplate it now. Couldn't help but wonder if maybe there was a way.

But more than that, his dad's implied blessing, one he'd given up on receiving since it hadn't come in the five plus years he and Lainey had been involved with each other, had been headlining in his mind.

For the moment, though, he shook it off, pushing any thoughts of his dad and whatever future he might be able to build with Lainey aside. They had more pressing matters, and he had to focus. Rule one of the job was not to hunt distracted. It was one of the fastest ways to get dead.

When he emerged from the motel room a moment later, Lee was exactly where Dean had left him, though he'd gone back to sitting on the hood, his long legs stretched out in front of him.

"Everything good?" Lee asked, raising an eyebrow as Dean approached.

"Yeah," Dean nodded, hoping his expression didn't betray any of the thoughts swirling in his head, or any of what had transpired inside. "She was just double checking some stuff. You know Laine — runs circles around all of us with that brain of hers, but can't manage her time for shit. We're good to go."

Lee seemed to accept this explanation without question, sliding off the hood and stretching his arms above his head once more. "Bout time. Was starting to think you two were engaging in some extracurricular activities in there," he added with a knowing smirk.

Dean rolled his eyes, lightly shoving Lee's shoulder. "Fuck off, Webb. Contrary to popular belief, we're capable of being professionals."

"Yeah right," Lee shot back with a laugh. "I'll believe that when I see it. Not that I can't understand why you idiots can't keep your hands off each other."

Before Dean could formulate a response, the motel room door opened and Lainey emerged, a bag slung over one shoulder and a determined set to her jaw. If Lee noticed anything off about her appearance, he didn't comment on it.

"Finally!" Lee exclaimed, throwing his hands up in mock exasperation. "The lady graces us with her presence."

"Bite me, Webb," Lainey fired back, though there was no real heat in her words. She tossed her bag into the trunk that Dean had already opened for her, then moved toward the passenger side door.

"Oh no," Lee said, stepping in front of her with an exaggerated bow. "I get shotgun, you get the back seat this time. I spent all yesterday back there, and I can't take a whole night of watching you two make eyes at each other."

Lainey rolled her eyes but there was a smirk tugging at her lips, and she rerouted with little more than a shrug. "And here I thought you liked a bit of a show," she teased.

"Different kind of show, darlin'," Lee clarified good naturedly, heat flashing momentarily in his eyes but disappearing just as quickly.

Dean watched the exchange with a mixture of amusement and relief. The banter was familiar, comfortable, and he could see it was helping Lainey regain her equilibrium. Lee might not know what had happened, but his easy camaraderie was exactly what she needed right now.

"Alright, alright," Dean interjected, keys dangling from his fingers. "Let's get this show on the road already." And without any further debate, the three of them finally piled into the Impala.

The following hours ticked by, quickly at first but then slower and slower as they waited around just for nothing to happen. It was around hour mark five or six that Lee started complaining, though Dean could tell they'd all been itching to for some time.

"C'mon, we probably got it wrong. Let's just go back, get some sleep, and hit it again tomorrow," he suggested. The idea was tempting, and Dean wanted to give in, but Lainey sighed before he could say anything, leaning forward between them from the backseat.

"It's too early to call it," she pointed out begrudgingly, her tone of voice betraying she was just as ready to be done for the night. "This thing could still show up, and then we'll feel like real assholes."

"We should've at least brought some drinks," Lee lamented, earning a snort from both Dean and Lainey. "Liven things up a bit."

"Yeah, because drinking on the job has always worked out so well for us before," Dean scoffed. Lee immediately grimaced and Dean suspected he was thinking of the same incident that had come to his own mind, a couple months back when his dad had caught them doing exactly that. Lainey, who had been at school at the time, looked between them curiously, but didn't push when Dean gave a small shake of his head.

"Alright then," Lee conceded. "But some food, at least, would've been a good idea."

Dean was surprised when Lainey didn't immediately offer up her usual solution, and after a moment he deliberately caught her eye through the rearview mirror, raising a brow. There was no fucking way his girl had willingly come out for something that was bound to last hours at a minimum without provisions. The way her eyes narrowed back in his direction, the hint of a challenge in them, only confirmed his suspicion and Dean smirked.

"Lainey's got food, don't you, sweetheart?"

The scowl on her face deepened, but Lee whipped around eagerly, his eyes lighting up in excitement even as his features morphed into an expression of accusation.

"You been holdin' out on us?"

Dean had to work not to laugh as she continued her silent staring contest with him for another moment, before finally sighing in defeat and bending to reach for her bag. With an exaggerated eyeroll, she started rummaging through it.

"Holding out on you, my ass. It's my candy, and you only just said you were hungry anyway."

There was no real heat in her voice though, and Lee only grinned wider when she offered over a large ziploc bag — 2 gallon at least — filled to the point of nearly not being able to close packed with snacks. It was mostly candy, and primarily chocolate at that, but Dean noticed she'd thrown in a couple small packets of mini pretzels and peanuts too. He grabbed it without hesitation and Lainey playfully shoved Dean's shoulder while Lee started to dig through it, a pout forming on her lips as she rested her arms on the back of the benchseat, and her chin on top of them. Dean turned to face her, unable to hide his amusement.

"What're you pouting for?" he chuckled. "You know you were gonna end up sharing whenever you pulled it out anyway."

Lainey huffed in reply.

"That's not the point," she grumbled. Dean couldn't help but laugh harder and just as she was gearing up to actually give him shit — because she definitely didn't like that he was laughing at her — Dean lent in, capturing her lips in a quick but gentle kiss that took the wind right out of her sails.

"You're crazy," he muttered as he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers and pushing some of her red hair back from her face "but I love you."

She sighed, but there was a smile pulling at her lips and her features had softened.

"Yeah, yeah," she dismissed. "I love you too."

Dean smiled and pressed one more kiss to her lips before straightening back up and joining Lee in sifting through Lainey's stash.

His thoughts drifted back to his mom's ring sitting in his duffel back in the motel room and his eyes glanced unconsciously towards Lainey.

Maybe he hadn't thought about marriage before, but he realized that it didn't really matter. Traditional or not, Lainey Hollings was it for him… she was his person… and maybe making that official wasn't the craziest thing in the world. One day, anyway.

For now, he could be happy with what they had, as long as she was by his side.

March 2003

"Mmmm, this is nice. We should have nights like this more often."

Dean stretched, feeling his shoulder pop and flexing his arm a bit as he settled back further into the bed, warm weight pressed against his bare chest and soft moonlight filtering in through the cracked curtains, dimly illuminating the small room.

"Yeah," he agreed, his voice still a little rough after the workout he'd just put his body through… starting to get heavy with fatigue. He wasn't complaining though, it had been a good night — dinner and drinks with his girl, music at the bar that hadn't been half bad, and easy pickings at the pool table. This was easily the most content and satisfied he'd been in a long time, and he was intent on making the most of it. "Was nice to just… cut loose for a little while."

She laughed, giggled almost, and turned to look up at him, dark, brown eyes showing a spark of amusement, even in the low lighting.

"Who knew you were such a pool shark. Where'd you learn to play like that, anyway?"

Dean shrugged, feeling that flicker of discomfort that had felt so foreign at first but was becoming familiar. He wasn't used to sharing his bed with someone for more than a night that had such a small window into his world… that was still getting to know him.

But Cassie didn't have the history with him the way Lain — the way she had.

"My dad taught me," he shrugged, trying to brush it off as though it were nothing. She didn't need to know that in his world, hustling pool was one of the most steady income streams he'd ever had. Even if keeping that from her felt fundamentally wrong.

Cassie smiled softly, eyes still twinkling, and settled into him further. Dean felt something that felt like guilt twist in his gut. He was no stranger to lying, had to do it all the time… but it was different. Lying for the job, or even the people that were only passing through — the classmates he'd known he'd never talk to again after they blew town, the one-night stands he'd had in the last few years since finding himself suddenly unattached, strangers at bars — it was different than lying to the people in his life.

"Maybe next time we go out you can teach me… you and your dad, you guys close?"

Or people that had been in his life, anyway. Sam… Bobby… Lee…

Lainey.

"Uh, yeah," Dean answered, mulling and trying to find the words to best explain the complicated feelings he had about his dad these days… had always had on some level, if he were being honest. "It was just him, me, and my brother growing up. Hard not to be, you know?"

This thing with Cassie was new but she was someone he considered to be in his life. She was the first person he'd felt a connection to since nearly everyone else had vanished.

Lainey and Bobby had been the first to go. It should have been a simple hunt, but he'd fucked up, taken a risk he shouldn't have, and Lainey had reacted instinctively, saving his ass but her eyes glowing purple in the process and just like that, her secret had been out. Bobby, at least, had known by then, about Lainey's magic… but his dad hadn't, and his dad had lost his shit.

Technically of the two, Dean supposed Bobby was the first casualty. He and John and gotten into the argument to end all arguments while Sam had been in school, and Dean had sat at the top of Bobby's stairs with Lainey, listening to the fall out… waiting for the inevitable. It only came to an end when Bobby grabbed a shotgun and cocked it, aiming in no uncertain terms for John and telling him to get the hell off his property.

It wasn't long after that Dean had circled back to try and talk to Lainey. She'd gone back to her apartment in Palo Alto, he'd followed as soon as he'd been able to get away, but the damage had been done. They'd had their own argument that had ended with her telling him to fuck off and him listening.

She'd been his person, his other half, his… everything… and he'd always been so sure there were no secrets between them. It was them against the world, and that had always been enough.

But he'd been wrong… he'd been blindsided by how deep into magic she actually was… and that unshakable bond he thought they shared turned out to be not so unshakable after all.

Sam had been next, a year later — a casualty of an argument he'd had with their dad. The kid had managed to graduate high school, something Dean hadn't bothered to do, and then announced proudly that not only was he going to college but that he'd gotten a full ride. To fucking Stanford.

Their dad had lost his shit about that too, and in the end Sam had walked out on both of them.

For a while, he'd still had Lee, but even before he bailed, it hadn't been the same anymore either. He'd thought they'd be fine, maybe even closer than before, after he and Lainey split. After all, he and Lee had spent more time just the two of them together than the three of them ever had, and with Dean suddenly unattached, it opened new doors. But it wasn't the same with her gone, he wasn't the same with her gone… and then after that last hunt in Arizona…

Dean didn't blame Lee for falling off the map… he just hoped the guy was alright.

It had been just him and his dad since then, and even John had been becoming less consistent. Dean had been at a real low point when he'd hit Athens. More than a little lost, more than a little ready for some kind of change.

Cassie Robinson, with all her fire and sass, had quickly presented herself as the answer.

"That's kind of nice," she mused, her fingers trailing over his bare chest, eyes still looking up at him, her dark curls contrasting against his own pale skin. "I mean, I know plenty of people that only had one parent growing up… they'd have given a different answer."

Cassie was a couple years younger than him, finishing up a degree in journalism, and had taken him by storm. She was beautiful, funny, and fierce. He'd run into her at one of the bars near the college campus and what he'd expected to be one drink and, if he were lucky, maybe an early end to the night that could involve her joining him when he went back to his motel room, had turned into the two of them closing down the bar together, and Dean blinking up in surprise when he realized how long they'd been talking.

He'd asked her for a date. She was the first person he'd bothered to ask something like that ever that wasn't Lainey Hollings.

She'd said yes, and he'd been ready to call it a night, figuring he could at least try and do this right. But then she'd kissed him, they'd ended up back in her dorm room instead of his motel room, and he decided there could be more than one right way.

"Yeah, if you say so," he laughed, suddenly feeling eager to find a new topic.

They fell into easy conversation after that… conversation about nothing and everything all at once, peppered with soft kisses, lingering touches, and an intimacy Dean hadn't felt in far too long… an intimacy he hadn't even realized how much he'd been missing.

It wasn't until his stomach rumbled that his bubble started to burst, when Cassie laughed and looked up at him through raised brows.

"Hungry?" she teased, and Dean made a face but ultimately nodded, knowing there was no use denying it. Cassie only laughed harder and nestled back into him.

"Hate to tell you, but I'm pretty sure everywhere around here's closed… just gonna have to wait until morning."

Uninvited memories infiltrated his mind… memories he hadn't let himself think of in years… of red hair, green eyes, mischievous smiles, and bags of candy that always contained his favorites, unfailingly pulled out in times like these.

And even though Dean tried not to let it, tried to focus on what he had now and not what he'd lost, the damage was done, and he only barely managed to hold back the frown threatening to take over his face.

He was grateful that Cassie couldn't see his face, but as they finally drifted off to sleep, Dean couldn't help but dwell on his empty stomach and the even emptier feeling in his chest.

December 2005

It was late when Dean finally pulled into the lot of the ramshackle motel on the side of the road in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, and tensions were high to say the least. All three of them had been driving each other steadily insane over the last few days, each of them carrying their own baggage.

Sam's nightmares were still keeping him from sleeping well, and the grief of losing Jess seemed to be wearing on him with increasing heaviness.

Lainey, who was generally a major bitch and royal pain in Dean's ass these days, had been even more crabby since she'd gotten some email from Stanford about her leave that had her stressing out — the details of which, Dean hadn't bothered to retain. Personally, he thought the fact that she was missing out on Christmas at home was probably playing into it, but he didn't care enough to bring that up. If she wanted to be miserable, that was her own fucking problem.

Dean was at his own wit's end — frustrated at feeling like he was keeping the situation between the three of them together by the tips of his fucking fingernails, worrying about the fact that they still hadn't found jackshit about their dad, being driven absolutely fucking mental living in such close quarters with his ex-girlfriend that couldn't seem to make up her mind about whether she wanted to kill him or could tolerate him… all exacerbated by the fact that he'd been trying to make some kind of effort, wasted as it felt, since Philadelphia.

He and Lainey were back to fighting like cats and dogs, but he'd noticed that she'd stopped flaunting every dickbag she could get to buy her a drink under his nose since he'd saved her ass and spent the night taking care of her. In return, he'd stopped seeking out his own fun, but it was wearing thin, and after weeks of this bullshit, he was definitely feeling… frustrated.

The cherry on top of all of it was that they'd spent the day driving through snow and ice, hitting more than one detour that had resulted in too many extra hours on the road, and no where to stop for the past twelve hours or so. It felt like every muscle in Dean's body was screaming for relief after being cramped up for so long, and Sam and Lainey seemed just as antsy.

"I'll go grab rooms," Sam offered as soon as Dean threw the car in park, pushing his door open without waiting for a response — probably too worried Dean or Lainey would insist on going instead. It had been quiet for the past half hour or so, but before that the two of them had spent at least two hours straight arguing — about anything from whether Dean had taken a wrong turn, to what they thought might be killing folks in Clarksville, New Hampshire (their ultimate destination), to whether Lainey really needed the damn flashlight to read her book — and Dean suspected that Sam would have done just about anything to get away from them.

The smallest part of him felt guilty. He knew Sam had enough going on without adding his and Lainey's crap to the pile. The larger part of him, however, was just seeing red and wanted to scream at her until she just went away.

Apparently, it didn't matter how long they'd been apart. Lainey Hollings could still get under his skin like no one else… she'd just taken to doing it in an entirely different way since they'd been thrown back into each other's lives.

"God, this place looks like a dump," she muttered as they watched Sam walk towards the office, and through the rearview mirror, Dean could see her eyes scanning the building. She wasn't wrong, but Dean felt annoyed anyway, that compulsion to disagree with her just on fucking principle bubbling up again.

"Sorry to disappoint, princess," he shot back, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Ritz was all booked up. Though you're welcome to sleep in the car if it's not up to your standards."

She glared at him with an intensity he could feel, and Dean felt a stirring of satisfaction. He knew how much she hated when he called her that.

"As long as the room gets me a break from you, it'll feel like the Taj Mahal."

"Trust me, sweetheart," he bit out, "feeling's mutual."

Unfortunately, when Sam came back out and started walking towards the Impala, Dean could tell just from the look on his face they had a problem.

"Only one room," he announced as he climbed back into the car, looking like he'd rather be chewing glass as his eyes moved between Dean and Lainey. "Two beds, and the guy said there's a couch. Doesn't pull out, but…"

It was the whipped cream on top of the shit sundae the entire day had been, and the rash of bickering that ensued in wake of the news was the fucking cherry that went with it.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Dean all but roared as he and Lainey stood almost toe to toe between the second bed and the couch, while Sam did his best to settle in, though he was clearly uncomfortable, and exasperated, from the way he was eyeing them. "You're, like, barely five foot —"

"I'm five four, you —"

"You take the couch, Laine!"

"What? And wake up with my back all fucked up from sleeping at a weird angle all night? You take it, this is your fucking fault anyway!"

Dean's eyes nearly bugged out of his skull. "My fault? What are you, high? How the hell is this my fault?"

"If you hadn't insisted on your so called 'shortcut', we never would have —"

"Oh for fuck's sake," he cut her off, "not this shit again! Your way would have had us —"

"My way would have shaved at least an hour off the drive time and avoided that crappy backroad that had all the fallen trees!"

"You know, no one asked you to tag along, and definitely no one asked you to drop your car —"

"That's enough!! Both of you!"

Sam's voice cut through their screaming match at a volume that somehow managed to top both of theirs, and both Dean and Lainey immediately fell silent, turning to look at him in surprise. In the two months the three of them had been on the road together, through all of Dean and Lainey's arguments — and there'd been some real ugly knockdown, drag out ones — Sam had yet to raise his own voice at them or lose his patience like that. Almost unconsciously, Dean and Lainey exchanged a glance with each other, and for just a second, it could have been years ago, when it was the two of them against the rest of the world.

"Jeez, Sam, what the hell crawled up your —" Lainey began, but Sam was having none of it.

"Don't! You two are driving me fucking insane, and you've both been acting like children all day," he snapped.

"We have not!" Dean immediately defended, but Sam only rounded on him.

"Yes, you have, and I'm done. Both of you just shut up and go to bed. I can't take any more. God, I never thought I'd miss the days when you two couldn't keep your hands off each other. You two were disgusting, but at least it didn't come with the fucking headache."

Dean felt heat immediately creep into his face at the reminder at how things used to be, back before his world had been turned upside down and Lainey had gone from the person he was closest to in this world to the person that made him want to rip his heart out. He bristled and was ready to fire back with a retort when he caught that there was a flush spreading across her cheeks, too, and he paused, something about it softening him in a way he hadn't expected.

"Whatever," he finally grumbled, grabbing his duffel off the table where he'd thrown it and unceremoniously tossing it onto the small couch while he stalked towards the unclaimed bed — the one that would be going to Lainey — to at least grab one of the pillows. "I'll take the fucking couch. Even though it's fucking ridiculous."

"And who said chivalry was dead?" Lainey quipped as they passed each other, him with the pillow heading towards the couch and her with her bag heading towards the bed. He shot her a withering stare, continuing to glare at the back of her head for a moment when she ignored him.

The three of them got ready to go to sleep in silence, begrudgingly moving around each other in the small space, each of them clearly still irritable with each other and after the day they'd had. It was without ceremony that they all finally settled in and Sam clicked off the lights, throwing them all into a darkness that did nothing to hide the fact that, despite their exhaustion, none of them fell into sleep easily.

Dean wasn't sure how long he lied there, trying to will himself to sleep through sheer force of willpower while the sounds of Sam and Lainey's breathing told him they weren't having much better luck. He wanted to sleep, wanted this entire stupid, fucking day to just be over, but the couch was cramped, his irritation had him too amped, and his stomach was growling, reminding him it had been hours since he'd eaten anything and even then it had been a pitiful convenience store burrito that had only burned the inside of his mouth. By his estimate, it was at least a half hour, but it felt like longer.

Then out of no where Lainey sat up out of that nice comfy bed she'd browbeat him into handing over and flicked on the lights, pulling twin groans and exclamations from him and Sam as they both shielded their eyes from the sudden influx of light.

"What the hell, Laine?" Dean demanded, while Sam looked at her like she had two heads. Lainey ignored him and reached over the side of her bed, reaching for her bag.

"Shut up, it's not like any of us were sleeping. I can hear both your stomach's growling from here," she huffed.

It was then that Dean realized, seconds before she managed to pull her bag up and into her lap to rummage through it, what she was doing. When she straightened up, a triumphant look on her face, a moment later, Dean was unsurprised to watch her pull out a plastic shopping bag, filled to the brim with the types of candy she always seemed to keep a stash of and a few other snacks that were new to the rotation.

"Lainey," Sam started, sounding more tired and exasperated than angry like he had before. "It's been a long day. Can't we just —"

Lainey didn't wait for him to finish, just pulled some sort of wrapped bar Dean didn't recognize and tossed it across the room, landing it squarely in Sam's lap.

"Just shut up and eat," she said, following up with a small bag of what looked like pretzels. "It's better than nothing, and I know I can't sleep on an empty stomach."

Sam blinked in surprise looking down at the items in his lap before realization dawned and he glanced back to Lainey. He seemed unsure, but after a moment his reluctance faded and he started to carefully work at the wrapping.

"Thanks, Lainey," he muttered, avoiding looking in her direction. Dean watched her nod, pulling out her own picks before her eyes caught on his.

He was still pissed at her, she was still pissed at him, and for a second, the tension from earlier that had only just started to maybe dissipate came roaring back full force. Fire flared in her eyes, and Dean knew his own narrowed automatically, not willing to be the one to back down again.

It flickered, though, and before Dean could even fully register what was happening, she reached into the bag and wordlessly tossed a pouch in his direction too that was quickly followed by one of the bars she'd tossed Sam — a cereal bar, he realized. For half a beat, he thought about sniping back at her, saying something shitty about how she could keep her fucking food, he didn't need anything from her, and tossing it back in her direction. Then he realized the bar she'd tossed him was the same kind he'd started picking up at gas stations a couple weeks ago and the candy was a small bag of peanut M&Ms, and he faltered.

It was absolutely infuriating, he thought to himself, the way she pressed each and every one of his fucking buttons, but then did shit like that. Had always done shit like that. Little things, like taking note of his favorites without ever making a fuss about it, keeping them on hand as instinctively as she kept her own favorites, and then just passing them over, even though they'd been at each other's throats all day.

Swallowing, he looked up to thank her but paused. She was already dropping her duffel back onto the floor, digging into her own haul. Even from across the room the silver necklace hanging from around her neck glinted in the light and Dean found his eye catching on it, something twisting at his heart that he tried to ignore.

It wasn't fair, the way she could make him see red and then remind him of every reason he'd loved her so deeply. Still loved her, if he were being honest… but that was a thought better left alone, buried deeper than deep and locked away where no one could find it, even himself.

She seemed to sense his eyes on her though and after a moment looked up, raising her eyebrows in a silent question. Realizing he'd been caught startled him back to life, and Dean shook his head, moving to tear open the packaging of the bar first, forcing himself to send a grateful look in her direction.

"Thanks," he muttered. "You didn't have to do that."

A small smile, so slight Dean almost missed it, graced Lainey's face, and she shrugged before turning her attention back to her own food.

"No big deal," she dismissed.

But Dean knew it was, and when they all eventually tried to go to sleep again a short while later, he was pleased to find this time he had no trouble drifting off… even if his dreams were filled with red hair, green eyes, and a smile he saw far too rarely these days but had once upon a time been his whole world.

March 2007

"Ah, ah — caught you, red handed!" Dean called out as he walked into office Lainey was working out of. At the sound of his footsteps she'd jumped in her seat and was hastily trying to shove a candy wrapper into her pocket. It was a waste of effort — even if he hadn't spotted her, the fact that she still had a full mouth she was trying to chew through would have given her away, and Dean was able to spot the bag of candy stashed in the bottom desk drawer she was trying to kick closed.

She seemed to relax when she realized it was just him, though her face lit up, excitement bringing her eyes to life in a way that made his stomach flip. He chuckled when that excitement had her trying to speak before she finished chewing, holding her hand over her mouth and her words so muddled that all he got out of it was his name.

"Easy, baby. Don't need you choking on me — at least not yet and definitely not on candy."

Lainey lightly swatted his shoulder at the crude joke, making him laugh harder, but she wasted no time throwing herself into his arms, burying her face in the crook of his neck while he pulled her close. She was warm against him, her weight familiar, and the smell of her shampoo — something floral he'd never been able to identify with a hint of strawberry — felt like coming home.

It hadn't been too long since they'd seen each other, especially not relative to other stretches they'd done apart, but fuck he'd missed her.

"I thought you weren't gonna make it until tomorrow," she managed once she swallowed enough to speak, though her words were still slightly garbled. Dean pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"Yeah, well, tonight was important so I hauled ass to get here. Bea said you were working late when Sammy and I got to the apartment. He says hello, by the way. Left him to pass out on the couch so I could come drag you out of here."

She pulled back, just enough to look up at him, and despite the many, many times she'd looked at him before the same way, he was still floored by the emotion mirrored back at him.

It had been a year since they'd gotten back together — exactly a year, which was why he'd argued with Sam, broken every speed limit they'd encountered, and driven sixteen hours straight to get to her — but he still hadn't stopped appreciating these moments. The ones where Lainey looked at him with nothing but love and appreciation and an openness she didn't give to anyone else. He wasn't convinced he deserved it, but he was willing to do fucking anything to hold onto it.

Losing Lainey Hollings had been the biggest mistake of his life, and it wasn't one he was going to make twice.

"You're insane," she informed him. "But I love you, and I'm so happy to see you."

Dean smiled, but before he could say anything, she was kissing him — the deep, all consuming kind of kiss that he loved to lose himself in and made the rest of the world fall away. She tasted of chocolate and caramel — remnants, he realized, of whatever chocolate bar he'd caught her eating. It went on longer than it probably should have, given the setting, but neither of them could be bothered to care. Dean rolled his tongue against hers, feeling the familiar stirrings of arousal as she reexplored his mouth with the same intensity. And when they did eventually break it off, they were both breathing a little heavier, hovering in each other's spaces, their foreheads bent together, and Dean cradling her face in his hand.

"I love you too, Laine. Happy anniversary."

Heat bloomed in her cheeks, and that soft smile stayed on her face, her eyes sparkling as she looked back at him.

"You're such a fucking sap," she teased, but then she was kissing him again — shorter this time, just a brushing of her lips against his to reaffirm there wasn't any heat behind it — still smiling when she pulled back. "But happy anniversary."

There was a noise in the distance that seemed to remind her of where they were, and she finally took a step back from him, though Dean immediately missed the proximity. He took the opportunity to let his eyes sweep over the office. It wasn't much — a standard L-shaped desk, a desktop computer that had seen better days, filing cabinets, stacks of files, miscellaneous tools and artifacts, and, mixed in with all of it, little personal touches like familiar pictures and nick knacks he'd seen collected over the years. It wasn't much, but Dean knew it meant the fucking world to Lainey, and he was still proud as hell of her, even if he missed having her on the road.

She'd finished her doctorate only a few months after they'd gotten back together, last June, and it had been a serious conversation… what she'd do next. The original plan had been for her to come back to him and Sam. Their dad had still been missing, they'd still been hunting the yellow-eyed demon — a hunt that was still ongoing — and she and Dean had still been making up for lost time. But then, while she'd been back in Palo Alto defending her dissertation, she'd gotten an offer that had been too good for her to ignore.

Someone she'd crossed paths with during her internship, someone that knew what she really did when she wasn't busy being a respectable member of society, had recommended her to a lab in Chicago. It had weird but flexible hours that allowed for her to still balance hunting when she needed to without raising eyebrows at her absences, and gave her a chance to do what she wanted with the degree and actually be a forensic anthropologist. The cherry on top had been the fact that Beatrice, her best and only friend outside of Sam and Dean when they'd been growing up, had recently gotten a job in town too, and had been looking for a roommate. Beatrice, that, despite Lainey's best attempts to keep her out of it, had learned the truth about what she, Bobby, and the Winchesters did and had stuck around even though she'd quickly determined that that life wasn't for her.

Lainey had still been on the fence, but when Dean had realized it was because of him, that some part of her brain thought she had to choose, he'd been quick to push her to take it, even though it had fucking killed him, because he'd known it was what was best for her, and best for them, even if it was hard.

He missed her when they were apart every bit that he'd thought he would, but they'd mostly made it work. Beatrice was more than happy to let him and Sam crash between cases, she still worked jobs with them when she could… she'd managed to pack up and take a few weeks off after the wreck with the demon that should have killed him and instead took out his dad… and they talked plenty when they couldn't be together. It wasn't the easiest but it was worth it.

She was worth it.

"So," he asked, eyes catching on the mess spread across her desk, "what're you workin' on that's got you burnin' the midnight oil?"

Predictably, Lainey's eyes lit up and she launched into a description of the case local PD had asked her to consult on — a body, turned up in a drug bust, decomposed beyond recognition and missing a good portion of its lower half. Still talking a mile a minute, she pulled him into the room next to her office, where what looked like a mostly complete skeleton was laid out on the table, with all kinds of equipment around, and started pointing out the types of details that Sam would usually obsess over with her when the three of them were working together. He followed most of it, and, without meaning to, found himself being pulled in, shifting into hunting mode even though it wasn't one of his cases. It was comfortable, a rhythm they'd refound and managed to fall back into even before they'd gotten their personal relationship back on track, and before long, Dean was bent over the table with her, squinting at bones and doing his best to make sense of all the technical jargon she was using.

"I've seen something like that before," he said eventually, pointing to damage on the skull. "Kitsune, back in… shit, I don't know, '98, '99, maybe?"

"In Montana?" Lainey asked without missing a beat, and Dean couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah." She hadn't been there, but they'd still been together, so she'd heard about it, and it never failed to impress him how much she remembered, even after all this time. "Any chance you could be dealing with one here? Or something else like it?"

Even though Lainey could more than take care of herself, Dean still found himself worrying about that part of her life finding her here. It was probably his only real gripe with the path she'd chosen. He couldn't help but worry about her being parked in one place… made it easier for something evil to find her.

But Lainey shook her head, a calm, confident expression on her face.

"No. I'm dealing with a monster, but it's one of the human variety. See this pattern here?" And she was off, going through everything she'd checked to rule out anything supernatural and showing him how she'd already found cause of death and narrowed down a list of probable weapons.

Dean lost track of time, as was so often to do with Lainey, but eventually his stomach rumbled, reminding him of why he'd shown up in the first place, and he started tugging her away from the bones.

"C'mon," he coaxed her when she started to protest. "Junkless'll still be there in the morning. Right now I wanna take my girl out for dinner."

"Dean —"

"I'm serious, Laine. C'mon."

She stopped arguing and fell into step beside him, pressing into his side as he led her back to her office and looking up at him with a hopeful expression on her face.

"Can we go to that Italian place over on Hubbard?"

"Whatever you want, baby," he assured her, his heart warming when an excited grin split across her face.

"Okay, I just gotta grab my stuff."

Dean watched as she traded her lab coat for a black denim jacket and quickly gather up her things — a to-go cup, her phone, and a bag that had seen better days. It was as she was passing by her desk that she suddenly paused and cast a furtive glance over his shoulder out towards the hall before swooping down to pull open that bottom drawer again. He couldn't help but let out a laugh as he realized what she was doing, especially when she straightened back up with a fistful of candy she was quickly shoving into her bag.

"Seriously?" he asked, slinging an arm around her shoulder as they set off towards the exit. "We're about to go get real food."

She looked up at him, that familiar twinkle in her eye that made his blood sing, and a smirk tugging at her lips.

"You know me, always gotta have my candy. C'mon, I'm starving."

Dean smiled and let her lead the way out to the parking lot, letting their banter fill the airwaves between them and laughing easily at her one liners, silently thanking whatever force had seen fit to give her back to him.

The life they led wasn't easy, the past year hadn't been easy, but Dean knew there was no one else he'd rather be in it with than Lainey.

May 2009

The drive from River Pass, Colorado to Sioux Falls, South Dakota wasn't exactly short, and by the time Dean got behind the wheel of the car — the solitude somehow both welcome and threatening to break him — he wanted nothing more than to find the nearest motel, grab whatever crap room they had, and pass out in the bed for the next twenty four to forty eight hours. The reality of the past couple weeks was still catching up, definitely taking its toll, and he was running on fucking fumes. If he were being perfectly honest, the idea of just passing out and not having to wake back up again — not having to deal with angels and demons, with Lucifer, Michael, and the fucking apocalypse, with everything Sam had done and Bobby's prognosis — was more than a little appealing.

Giving up wasn't an option, though. There was too much on the line. He had people counting on him, people that he loved. The odds might not have been in his favor, but Dean was going to do everything in his power not to let them down.

And in that moment, not letting them down meant getting his ass back to Sioux Falls.

That was where Lainey was, eight months pregnant, waiting on him and preparing for Bobby to come home from the hospital.

It was a thought that gave him just enough of a second wind to push through, ignoring the way his body called out for sleep as he forced his eyes on the road and kept his foot on the gas. By rights, it should have been a ten hour drive, but he was determined to make it in less. He was only an hour or so when he stopped to fill up, ducking into the 24 hour convenience store to take a leak and grab some caffeine. He'd been on his way to the register when his eyes caught on the box of Milky Ways — Lainey's favorite — and grabbed a couple bars before tossing in a snack pack of crackers too. Before he and Sam had left for River Pass, she'd still been plagued with all kinds of cravings — unsurprisingly, usually for sweets — but she'd also been more scatterbrained than normal and had managed to run out her usual stash without resupplying.

He figured by now, she had to have done something about it, but he also figured there was no harm in adding to her hoard. At the very least let her know he was thinking of her.

By the time he pulled up the gravel driveway, all the lights were out in the house, though Lainey's yellow Galaxie 500 was sitting parked in its usual spot. He cut the engine, grabbed his bag out of the trunk, and used his key to let himself inside.

After so many years of crashing at Bobby's between hunts or to visit Lainey, Dean was able to navigate the halls with ease, knowing which stairs creaked and which floorboards groaned under weight. He didn't need to guess where Lainey was and he moved on autopilot — past Bobby's room, which he was sure was still sitting empty, past the guest room he and Sam had often stayed in as kids and teenagers but had recently been turned into a nursery, all the way to Lainey's old room, which was more theirs now, but had belonged to her since Bobby had taken her in when they were fifteen.

The door was already cracked, but he eased it open carefully, not wanting to disturb her but not willing to forgo sleeping beside her either. Moonlight was spilling in through the window, casting her in a soft glow that took his breath away. Her red hair spilled across the pillow, her arms curled another while she laid on her side, her rounded stomach visible even beneath the blanket she'd snuggled under, chest rising and falling steadily with each breath she took.

Dean had done a lot of stupid shit in his life ranging anywhere from silly to downright dangerous — letting Lainey convince him wax play was worth trying, eating enough questionable gas station food over the years it was a miracle his intestines hadn't rebelled, making deals with demons, letting Sam anywhere near Ruby, trusting for half a second that the Angels actually gave a shit about him and the rest of human kind — but knocking up his girlfriend in the middle of the fucking apocalypse had to take the cake. Still, he couldn't bring himself to wholly regret it. Not when looking at Lainey, nearly ready to pop, filled him with a warmth and sense of home he'd never found anywhere else. Not when he was so eager to meet his daughter — their daughter. Not when he loved both of them more than he'd thought possible.

Dropping his bag on his side of the bed, Dean quietly kicked off his boots and stripped down to his boxers before climbing into the bed with Lainey. She'd always been a light sleeper, and she was stirring before he even touched her, instinctively shifting closer to him. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing against her back, splaying a hand over her stomach, and nuzzling into her neck. The content sigh it pulled from her warmed something inside him.

"Mmm, Dean?" she asked, voice heavy with sleep. He pressed a kiss to her sleep-warm skin.

"Yeah, sweetheart, go back to sleep," he tried to soothe, knowing even as he did that it was pointless. He felt her instinctively go to turn over before she remembered it was no longer an easy feat for her to pull off. Without missing a beat, she was twisting her neck instead, craning around to see him, and Dean moved automatically, trying to make it as easy as possible on her. Her hand came to rest on his jaw, drawing him in deeper as their lips met in a relatively short but nonetheless deep kiss. His tongue dipped past the seam of her lips, reacquainting himself with the taste of her, letting her touch ease the burden he'd been carrying the last few days... or weeks, really.

"I missed you," she mumbled as they broke apart and she settled back down. Then Dean felt it — a kick to his hand that had somehow become familiar and yet took him by surprise and filled him with awe every time. "So did the baby."

"Missed you too."

"How're you? How's Sam? Rufus okay?"

Dean's heart dropped and for just a moment, reality threatened to intrude, threatened to burst this small bit of peace he'd found. He'd only sent her a text that he was on his way home, hadn't filled her in on any of the details. She didn't know about the horseman, didn't know about Sam… but he wasn't about to tell her just then either. The bad news could wait until morning.

"Everyone's fine, I'll give you the detailed run down tomorrow. How're my girls doin'?"

Lainey huffed but snuggled into him closer, gripping at the arm he'd curled around her. "Peachy. I'm the size of a house and can't get comfortable, your daughter's been using my bladder as a punching bag, and I've been craving chocolate for the past five hours but I accidentally left my bag that has candy in it at the hospital in Bobby's room."

Dean did a poor job of trying not to laugh, muffling the sound against her neck as she pinched his arm, no doubt rolling her eyes while she did.

"It's not funny," she grumbled, but there was no actual anger in her voice.

"No, of course not," he agreed, pulling himself together. "I'm sorry, baby."

"Should be," she muttered. "This is all your fault, you did this to me."

Dean smirked, knowing she didn't really mean anything by it. Lainey had taken to pregnancy about as well as a cat took to water, especially in the last few months, and he was used to these complaints. She made them regularly when she was feeling cranky or tired of it all. When they had the real conversations, a lot of which had been early on but were happening more and more again as they approached her due date, she was always taking blame he wasn't assigning. He'd lost count of how many times she'd said she was sorry for getting them into this, even though he didn't see it that way. From where he was standing, it was on both of them… but he understood, too.

It definitely wasn't something they had planned. He'd thought they were covered, but he hadn't thought to check in, he'd been so caught up in being alive again. She hadn't considered the possibility she might be pregnant until late, or at least hadn't told him until late, but even if she had said something earlier, it wasn't like he thought they'd have done anything different. And as many unnecessary apologies as she'd made to him, he'd made the same to her.

"Hmmm yeah, guess I did." Realization struck then, and his smile widened as he nuzzled her neck. "Have something that might cheer you up though?"

"Drugs to induce me?" she asked, and he snorted.

"No. Pretty sure Evie'll come out when she's good and ready. Got something else though."

They'd finally decided on a name not too long ago, Evelyn Mary Winchester, and they'd both already taken to calling their daughter Evie.

"Fine, I'll bite. What do you have?"

Briefly, Dean disentangled himself from her and rolled back, reaching over the side of the bed for his duffel. It took a minute, but his hand found the candy bars he'd grabbed at the gas station easily enough, and he turned back to her, clutching a Milky Way triumphantly.

Even from behind, he could tell her whole demeanor change, and he angled himself to be able to see the way her eyes lit up.

"Seriously?"

"Figured it wouldn't be bad to have on hand. You always come through for me… thought it'd be nice to come through for you," he teased, but Lainey grinned and took the chocolate from his hand, twisting again to the best of her ability and pulling him into a kiss.

"Dean Winchester, you're my hero and I love you," she declared upon releasing him. Dean chuckled, unable to hold it back as he watched her shift to start peeling back the wrapping.

"Love you too, Lainey," he said, helping her move to sit up enough that she'd be able to eat without choking, smiling at the elated look on her face. She let out a satisfied sound at the first bite, her eyes fluttering shut and head falling back against the headboard as she savored the taste. Dean kept on smiling, unable to look away, content to lose himself in the moment. It was so normal that it felt like a window into someone else's life, and it was easy to forget for a second about all the crap pressing down on them… let himself dream about what it might be like if they were just a normal couple, on the cusp of parenthood, planning a future together.

It was a pipe dream, but one he couldn't deny nagged at him from time to time.

"Good?" he asked, absently tracing patterns on her thigh. Lainey nodded, one hand clutching the Milky Way while the other rested on her stomach, seemingly beyond words. Then she looked up, her eyes darting between him and the candy bar. She paused for half a second but then held it out to him in offering.

"You want a bite?" she offered, and it was a small gesture, but Dean knew it meant something coming from Lainey. Especially pregnant Lainey. He just smiled at her affectionately and shook his head.

"I'm good, baby. Grabbed myself something when I got those — there's more in my bag. You enjoy."

She grinned, appreciation clear in her eyes, and took another bite.

"What would I do without you?" she tried to get out through a full mouth. Dean laughed lightly and moved to rest his head on her lap, or what was left of it, just happy to be with her. When her hand moved from her stomach to his head, her fingers running through his hair, he felt more of the weight from the last few days dissipate. She was like a balm for his soul in a way nothing and no one else was.

"Hmm, I'm sure you'd figure it out," he said tiredly, his own eyes drifting shut. "That feels good. Love you so much, Laine."

She kept stroking him, lulling him further and further towards sleep, but he still heard her clear as anything when she answered back.

"Love you too, Dean. Always have, always will."

He didn't stay conscious much longer, though he at least stirred when she was ready to lie back down, quickly moving to help her even through the haze of his own sleep. And although outside their room, the rest of the world was on the brink, the weight of it feeling like it rested on his shoulders and giving him every reason to fear nothing but doom and gloom was in their future, his dreams that night were warm and pleasant, filled with images of his family and the world he wished he could give them.

October 2010

"Dada! Dada up!"

Dean looked down from his spot on the couch at the sound of his daughter's voice, and found Evie, staring up at him with a puppy dog face that could have rivaled Sam's back in the day. He was struck by the familiar sensation of his heart melting. At sixteen months old she had his eyes, her mother's penchant for mischief, and both of them wrapped around her little finger. It was a dangerous combination.

Lainey had changed her out of her Halloween costume and into pajamas, but there were still lingering traces of face paint on her skin that Dean made a mental note to take a pass at before they put her down for the night. It wasn't Evie's first Halloween, but it had been their first one with her, since this time last year he and Lainey had been neck deep trying to find a way to stop the Apocalypse while Evie had been hidden away with Kyle, a target on her back while the angels had been gunning for Dean to say yes to Michael.

It had been Kyle's idea for the three of them to take Evie trick-or-treating together this year, and while Dean had a feeling he and Lainey wouldn't have thought of it on their own, he was glad they'd agreed. Evie had seemed to have the time of her life, and it had been a normal thing to do… something they'd been trying to get better at in an attempt to acclimate to this new life of theirs.

He set his tumbler of whiskey down on the end table and reached for his daughter, lifting her small body into his lap easily. She reached her little arms up for his neck, snuggling into him and then patting his face clumsily with her hands. She was clearly tired, though her excitement from the night hadn't totally worn off yet. Dean had a feeling once she crashed, she'd crash hard.

"What's up, monkey?" he asked, and Evie giggled, her happiness impossibly contagious and bringing a genuine smile to his own face.

Those were hard to come by these days, genuine smiles. It had been five month's since Sam had taken the swan dive into the pit, into Lucifer's cage, and most of the time it felt like he'd taken Dean's ability to feel actual joy with him.

"No monkey daddy," she managed, then pointed to her discarded costume on the armchair a few feet away. "Telton!"

Dean chuckled, knowing what she meant even though it was a nonsense word. Evie had been fucking obsessed with the animated Dancing Skeletons short and had begged, in her own unique toddler speak, to dress up as one every time he or Lainey asked her what she wanted to be for Halloween. Unsurprisingly, her forensic anthropologist mother had jumped at the idea, and had managed to make Evie a costume when they couldn't find one, tapping into an artistic ability Dean never would have guessed Lainey had.

"Of course! How could I forget? Coolest skeleton on the whole block."

And she had, in fact, captivated all of the neighbors as she'd toddled around from house to house, collecting candy and delighting in every compliment she was paid for her costume. Stood out, too, compared to all the other toddlers with their run of the mill costumes — he'd seen a lot of pumpkins and princesses, a few cats… but no skeletons. Especially not glow in the dark ones the way Lainey had made Evie's.

Sam had always hated Halloween, but Dean hadn't been able to stop himself from thinking that he'd have enjoyed seeing his niece celebrating the holiday. Between the costumes and decorations, the people, and the candy, Evie had been in her element.

She let out an excited giggle at Dean's comment, wavering for a moment before dropping from her small legs, still chubby with baby fat and unsteady trying to stand on his lap, to sit on him instead and rest her head against his chest.

"Unc Ky," she demanded, tilting her head, and Dean understood she was asking about her Uncle Kyle. He was getting better at this, understanding the monosyllables she managed instead of full words, fragments of thoughts instead of complete sentences. It helped that she seemed to be getting better by the day too, constantly trying to tackle new words, and certainly seeming to understand plenty.

"Uncle Kyle went home for the night, Ev," he reminded her, tucking some hair behind her ear. "Remember he said bye, but that he'll be back next weekend?"

It still amazed him, sometimes, how much Kyle had become part of their lives. Things were still strained between him and Lainey — Dean suspected they'd always be, at least to some extent — but he'd stepped up in a way neither Lainey or Dean had been able to ignore when they'd needed someone, when Evie had needed someone, and he hadn't stopped trying. He'd been there for all of them after what happened with Michael and Lucifer, with Sam. It had been with his help that they'd found the townhome they were renting now, and he'd gotten Dean a job at the garage with him, babysat whenever they asked… gone out of his way to just be there… even when Lainey pitched a fit and lashed out, still struggling to let go over old hurts.

Dean understood. He'd never ask her to forget or totally forgive what Kyle had done… he knew those scars ran deep, and he had moments where he struggled with it too. But he couldn't hold onto his own anger the same way he used to either.

Evie frowned but then nodded, her eyes scanning the room once more before looking back at him.

"Mama," she said, and it didn't take a genius to know she was asking about Lainey.

"Mom's takin' a shower. Just you and me for a little while, squirt."

Evie seemed satisfied with this answer but was then climbing out of his lap, back onto the floor, her eyes set on something Dean hadn't found with his own yet. He watched her move across the living room though, shaking his head affectionately. There was no doubt she'd gotten Lainey's energy, too, and sometimes he envied her for it. Their kid could never sit still, much to his amusement and often frustration.

Soon enough, though, he was on his own feet, quickly picking the candy she'd grabbed off the coffee table from her hand and moving to scoop the rest of her hoard back into the bag she'd originally collected it in — lying discarded a foot or so away on the floor. Evie immediately pouted, staring at him with betrayal, her bottom lip quivering.

"Bu da —"

"No way, kid," he cut her off with a firm shake of his head, though he kept his voice light. Lainey's sweet tooth was another thing Evie had definitely inherited, but even the chocolate junkie herself would kill him if he let Evie have sugar this close to bed. "You've had plenty, and the rest'll be here waiting for you in the morning."

Evie's eyes welled, her bottom lip trembling dangerously, and Dean braced himself, knowing waterworks were coming. But then, just as Dean managed to sweep the last piece of candy into the bag and Evie had opened her mouth (presumably to wail), a creak on the stairs saved him, immediately pulling Evie's attention. Footsteps followed, and seconds later, Evie's whole face lit up as Lainey entered the room.

"Mama!"

Dean turned to see Lainey standing in the doorway, dressed in a pair of shorts and a faded old t-shirt he was pretty sure she'd stolen from him in high school, toweling off her still-damp, red hair, made darker by the water. She smiled at Evie's exclamation and tossed the towel aside, crouching down just in time to catch Evie as she hurtled herself towards Lainey.

"Hi, baby!" Evie wrapped her arms around Lainey's neck best she could and nuzzled into her mother's neck. It was as Lainey was pushing back to her full height that she finally made eye contact with Dean, brief as it was. "Were you good for Daddy?"

Evie nodded with an expression on her face that was too serious for a sixteen month old, and Dean snorted.

"Ver goo!" she managed, and Dean was temporarily entranced watching the smile form on Lainey's face. There was something about watching her with Evie that always took his breath away. For all her rough edges, parenthood looked good on Lainey Hollings and he still had trouble believing he was the one that got to experience it with her.

"I have no doubt," she teased, finally truly turning to Dean. There was curiosity and a quiet concern in her eyes as she balanced Evie on her hip. "You want me to get her to bed?"

Evie safely out of reach now, Dean dropped the bag of candy back onto the coffee table and nodded, taking a step forward to press a quick kiss to Lainey's lips.

"That'd be great," he murmured as he pulled back. "Just gimme one second, she's got —"

He started to point to the face paint he'd noticed as he went to head towards the kitchen for a paper towel, but Lainey caught on and immediately waved him off.

"Face paint. I see it. I'll take care of it, don't worry." Lainey adjusted her grip, hefting Evie higher up her body. "Can you say goodnight to Daddy, baby?"

But Evie, stubborn as both of them, shook her head. "No. No bed. Teleton."

Dean reached out, ruffling her hair. "Yes bed," he corrected. "You can play in your skeleton costume again tomorrow, but only if you're real good and don't give Mom any trouble going to sleep."

Evie seemed to consider this for a moment, and then her eyes flickered over to the table and then back to Dean.

"Toklat."

She meant chocolate, and Dean shook his head again. "No, Ev. Not till tomorrow."

The tears welled again, and Lainey caught his eye before taking a deep breath, her expression one of the same forced patience he often felt when one of Evie's potential tantrums were coming on.

"C'mon, Evie," Lainey tried. "If you're a good girl, you can even pick out the bedtime story tonight."

It happened while Lainey was talking — one of the fun size candy bars rising out from the bag of its own accord, hovering in thin air, albeit unstably. Evie didn't notice, but Lainey did, her whole body stiffening, even as Dean reacted instinctively, moving to block Evie's view, quickly snatching the offending piece of candy from where it hung and unceremoniously tossing it back with the rest as he went.

Evie, luckily, didn't notice, despite Dean being very certain she was the one that had caused it. It had been happening on occasion — little outbursts like that which Lainey didn't want to talk about. So far, Dean had been letting her get away with it, but it was only a matter of time before they couldn't ignore it anymore, and he had a feeling that time might be tonight.

Lainey's magic had been enough of a touchy subject since the incident, the one that had led to their five year separation he still wished had never had happened, but it had become fucking nuclear since the truth had come out about her mom. That Cynthia Hollings hadn't died when Lainey was a baby the way her dad had always told her, but had just been a witch that had gone dark as a witch could go and abandoned her family to boot. Cynthia Hollings wasn't even her real name, that Ron had come up with aliases for all of them to protect his kids. Lainey, apparently, had been born Adriana and Kyle had been Oliver.

Dean was pretty sure it was a bomb Lainey still hadn't fully processed — it had come out in the midst of them finding out she was pregnant, which had happened as goddamn seals were breaking and they were finding out about angels and apocalypses and he was fresh out of hell, struggling with PTSD style flashbacks and nightmares that plagued him even in his waking hours. But now with Evie clearly having inherited Lainey's talents, it wasn't a subject they could keep putting off.

"Two stories?" Evie asked hopefully, pulling both Dean and Lainey back to the present, though Dean could tell Lainey was still reeling, still distracted, when she nodded her head yes.

"Sure, baby. Two stories. But only if you're real good and say goodnight to Daddy."

Evie dutifully turned back to Dean, smile now back in place, and reached out her short arms, making grabby hands for him. "Night night da!"

Dean moved in, giving her a hug and kissing the top of her head. He hovered though, turning to Lainey with concern.

"Night, squirt. Laine, you sure you got her? I can —"

"No," Lainey said, shaking her head, determination filling her expression. "I got it, I'll be back."

He didn't argue as she walked away, and only once she was out of sight did he allow himself the deep breath he'd been holding back, stretching and running a hand down his mouth. Trying to be normal was all well and good in theory, but considering who he and Lainey were and that their daughter had freaking magic, it often felt like the odds were stacked against them.

But it was what Sam had wanted for them, what Sam had made them promised they'd at least try for… and it was what was best for Evie. Dean couldn't bring himself to give up. Even if some days he felt like it was slowly killing him.

The whiskey he'd left on the end table called out to him, and, he wasn't proud of it, but he downed the rest in one gulp before moving to the kitchen to refill. It wasn't the healthiest coping mechanism, but he'd gotten better, significantly better, and after everything he'd been through… he told himself it was okay to need something to take the edge off on occasion.

He sipped at the new glass as he moved around the ground floor, checking windows and doors, hidden devil's traps and salt lines, making sure their sigils and wardings were all still in place. It was a nightly routine, and a morning routine… one he'd never give up no matter how long they did this. They'd done everything they could think of to make sure they were safe, that they'd settled down where no one would go looking for them, but that they were practically sitting ducks was Dean's biggest fear in putting down roots. Lainey's too. So they did what they could, and he knew she was just as neurotic. She'd have either already checked all the same things herself or would be doing so before she eventually went to bed herself.

By the time Lainey eventually made it back downstairs, Dean had settled into the couch again. This time he had his glass of whiskey in one hand, remote in the other as he flipped through channels on the TV, and his socked feet kicked up onto the coffee table. He looked up when Lainey entered, nearly snorting when she dipped her hand into Evie's candy bag on her way over to join him.

"Classy, Laine," he deadpanned as she dropped into the seat next to him. "Stealing candy from your daughter. Your sweet tooth truly knows no bounds. Evie's going to be gutted."

Lainey snorted, candy in her lap with her legs half folded beneath her, already peeling back one of the wrappers. "She'll never even notice."

Dean let out his own half chuckle, shaking his head affectionately as Lainey shifted closer to him. He was happy to come across a rerun of Bewitched — ironically, one of Lainey's favorites from when they'd been kids that he didn't mind watching — and decided to stop channel surfing. Dropping the remote, he moved his whiskey to the hand further away from Lainey and wrapped his now-free arm around her, pulling her close. She moved automatically, curling into him the way she always did, her head nestling against his chest and both of them savoring the closeness, the connection they always felt with each other.

It had been… it had been a hard five months to say the least. But besides Evie, this was what they had never lost, what had kept Dean going. There were days where both of them were too broken to manage any words outside of the bare minimum required to get through the motions, but they'd still been able to take solace in each other, ground each other with physical touch and the reminder that they were still here and real. Even when it felt like more than they deserved.

Luckily, tonight, while still tinged with that perpetual ache that Dean knew would never go away, was one of their better ones. One of the ones where he at least felt like he could breathe and remember why he was here.

"You hope not," he retorted, though he knew she was probably right. "She's definitely your daughter. You know, just before you came down she'd toddled over and was trying to unwrap one of those before I grabbed it from her."

Lainey laughed through a mouthful of chocolate, quickly holding up a hand to cover her lips when she couldn't hold back the sound.

"She's not even two," she half-laughed half-complained once she swallowed. Dean hummed, a smile tugging at his own lips.

"Yeah, tell me about it, and following in her mother's footsteps. Speaking of which…" he began, and he felt Lainey stiffen even before he saw her face darken from the corner of his eye.

"Don't start," she said, and Dean sighed, more tired than frustrated, but he did turn to look down at her through raised eyebrows.

"C'mon, Laine. You saw what happened."

"She'll grow out of it," Lainey shrugged. "Kyle says I was the same way, and it went dormant early enough that I got to have plenty of years being —"

"If you try and say normal I'm gonna laugh myself stupid, because you were never normal."

Lainey gave him an exasperated look, but he didn't back down. "You know what I meant."

"I do," he nodded, "but I still think we gotta consider the possibility that it might not be the same for her… and that we gotta come up with a plan of how to handle it."

"Dean —"

"I'm serious, Lainey. I know it's not easy, but this is about Evie, not you or me, and we gotta think about what's best for her. Even if it does go dormant, I don't want it being the same kind of shock for her as it was for you — you remember what it was like back then? You thought you were going crazy, we both thought we were going crazy, and —"

"Alright, alright," she interjected. "I hear you, but can we just… can we just not tonight? Please?"

Somewhere, Dean knew he should push, but he really didn't want to, and the pleading tone in Lainey's voice was one he had a hard time saying no to. So with a sigh he settled in further to his seat and pulled her closer, dropping a kiss to the top of her head.

"Yeah, okay. But we're talking about this eventually."

Lainey smiled and nodded, popping another piece of candy into her mouth. "Okay."

Dean shook his head again, but found his eyes surveying the stolen goods littering her lap anyway. Lainey caught him immediately and smirked.

"Rethinking your stance on candy theft?" she asked.

"Maybe," he admitted, his sights finally landing on a yellow pouch, his interest definitely piqued, though he didn't want to blatantly admit it. "You're still ridiculous, though. I know you, there's no way you don't have your own stash — a stash I'm absolutely sure you'll be adding to when all the Halloween candy gets clearanced tomorrow."

"That's not the point," she grinned, "and Evie's was closer. C'mon, Winchester, live a little."

And, of course, she picked up the packet of peanut M&M's he'd been eyeing and held them out in offering, making Dean wonder if she hadn't grabbed them on purpose from the start. He didn't resist, though. Just accepted them and used his teeth to tear it open without putting down his whiskey.

"You're a fucking menace, Hollings," he told her affectionately. Lainey beamed at him.

"Yeah. But you love me anyway."

Without thinking, Dean leaned in, capturing her mouth in a soft but deep, lingering kiss. When they broke apart, she looked almost dazed in a way that amazed him, considering how long they'd been doing this by now, that he could still have that kind of effect on her. He rested his forehead against hers, not wanting to go far, holding onto the moment as long as he could.

"Damn right, I do," he promised. "Forever and always, Laine."

"Good," she whispered. "Because I love you too."

And in that moment, even though the odds still felt like they were stacked against them, Dean was reminded that if there was anyone in the world he could pull off the impossible with, it was the woman sitting next to him. With Lainey by his side, even the most impossible things felt possible.

January 2015

Dean couldn't help but smile as the heavy metal door swung shut behind him and he began making his way down the staircase, bag hoisted over his shoulder and eyes immediately spotting Sam sitting at one of the tables in the library. It was midday and he'd just finished the drive back from Garth's houseboat after checking on Kevin. The trip had been longer than he wanted, but having a home base to come back to, knowing Sam, Lainey, and Evie were all waiting for him, was more than enough to have kept him in good spirits. That Kevin was doing fine was icing on the cake. One less thing to worry about.

Sam looked up from his laptop at the sound of Dean's footsteps, head turning to find him.

"Hey man," he called out as Dean crossed the space. "Welcome back. So? How's Kevin doing?"

Dean dropped his bag onto the table, turning automatically towards the mini fridge, where he'd already started stocking beers. It had been a purchase he'd made on the first supply run they'd done for this place.

"You know, he's okay, I guess. In his corner, hacking out his Da Vinci code. Nothing actionable yet." He straightened back up, twisting around to look at Sam, noting it was oddly quiet. "Garth says hi, by the way. Anything from Cas?"

"No — no. Not a peep," Sam said as Dean popped the top on the bottle and tossed it aside, walking closer. "Don't think Lainey has either. Why? You?"

He hadn't, and it was probably the one thing that was really bothering him these days.

"No, he's uh, he's not answering. Where is Lainey?" he asked, deciding to change the subject. "And Evie? Little terror's usually bouncing off the walls."

As if on cue, somewhere in the distance — possibly from the kitchen, Dean realized — Lainey's voice sounded, loud and angry.

"Evelyn Mary Winchester! I told you no!"

Dean winced — the full name was never a good sign — and he caught Sam's eye.

"Any idea what that's about?"

Sam looked torn between sympathy and amusement, but snorted. "Not sure, but Evie's been a handful. This morning, she woke up before Lainey and decided to play doctor with some of her stuffed animals, or more like surgeon. Then around lunchtime she got into one of the filing cabinets we thought was locked. Lainey caught her quick enough and sent her to her room until we could double check the library was Evie-proof, but when Lainey went to tell her she could come back, Evie had started coloring, but had colored all over the walls. Not sure what the latest is."

"But Mom —"

"No buts!"

Dean's eyes shot towards where he knew the kitchen was, feeling more certain now that was where the commotion was coming from, and then looked back to Sam. "Guess I better get in there."

"Probably," he agreed, and Dean sighed, heading for the door.

The kitchen wasn't far and by the time he got there, Lainey and Evie were still there arguing. Lainey's back was to him, wearing jeans and a green sweater he always liked seeing on her, her red hair pulled into a low bun at the nape of her neck. Evie at the island, standing on a chair she'd managed to drag over, clearly having just been caught in the act of doing something, and looking around, Dean guessed it had to do with the jar of cookies sitting on the surface.

She spotted him right away and went from distraught to a mix of hopeful and excited in a split second, a grin breaking across her face as she pushed away from the counter even though Lainey was still laying into her.

"Daddy!"

Lainey turned, surprise written across her own features, while Evie clamored down from her perch and tore across the room at full speed. Dean bent just in time to catch her, letting out a quiet oof at the impact. At five and a half, Evie was still small, but she was still a goddamn ball of energy too, and like a bull in a China shop the way she moved around sometimes.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said, reaching up to set the beer down on the nearby counter before lifting her up. "How're my girls doin'?"

"We're good!" Evie chirped, clearly trying to sidestep whatever misdemeanor she'd committed to land herself in trouble before his arrival, but Lainey's eyes narrowed.

"Is that so?" he asked skeptically, looking between the two of them. "Because I gotta say, Ev, wasn't soundin' so good to me. Hey, Laine."

Balancing Evie with his one arm, helped by the fact that she was clinging to him like a spider monkey, Dean managed to wrap his girlfriend in a one-armed hug, dipping his head to capture her lips with his despite Evie's sophisticated protests of 'ewww'.

"Welcome back," Lainey said as they broke apart, her voice gentling for him and eyes sparkling with something that looked like genuine happiness underneath the anger that still lingered.

"Daddy, Mommy's being mean," Evie complained, sounding almost betrayed, and Dean found his attention being diverted back to his daughter. He had to fight not to let it show how amused he was, knowing it would only encourage Evie and piss off Lainey if he did. But it was hard, especially with the freaking pout Evie had going and the way Lainey's eyes blazed back to life.

"Hmmm, try again," he said, settling her down to sit on top of the counter rather than back on the floor. It accomplished two things, even if he knew Lainey wouldn't be a fan — Evie couldn't get away this way, and he could look her in the eye without having to look down at her.

"She is," Evie insisted. "She yelled at me."

"And why would Mom do something like that?" Dean asked. Evie, however, with a stubbornness that was pure Lainey, pursed her lips, crossed her arms, and shook her head. So Dean turned turned to Lainey, raising his eyebrows in a silent question.

"Because your daughter decided it would be a good idea to pull that chair over to climb up onto the counter, after I told her twice today she can't climb on furniture because it's not safe, to steal cookies out of the jar that I already told her three times she couldn't have until after dinner."

It wasn't funny, he knew that. But at the same time… damn if they hadn't reaped what they sowed. He loved Evie more than anything, but the kid was every bit the trouble Lainey had been growing up.

"C'mon, Ev, you know better than that," he said, looking back around in her direction sternly. The authoritative role still felt like a costume he had to put on sometimes, but it was becoming more natural, getting easier the longer he'd been back from Purgatory. Helped that Evie gave him plenty of practice. She huffed dramatically, letting out a huff.

"But the cookies smelled so good!"

It was hard to fault her logic, but Lainey stepped in immediately.

"Yeah, well, unfortunately for you, you won't be having any. No dessert. Not tonight, not tomorrow. That's your punishment for not listening."

Dean expected waterworks — Evie's favorite thing was dessert and two days without it was unheard of. Instead, she looked carefully between them, and then unfolded her arms.

"Is that it?"

Surprised, Dean blinked back, turning to Lainey. Her eyes were still locked on Evie, but he could tell she was just as caught off guard.

"That's it."

"And you owe your mom an apology for giving her a hard time," Dean tacked on, earning a subtle but appreciative look from Lainey. Evie seemed to consider this, then sat up straighter, a smile tugging at her lips even as she gave Lainey a contrite look.

"Okay. I'm sorry Mommy, I won't do it again. Can I go play now?"

It was entirely too easy, and Dean would have bet just about anything that Evie was up to something. The skeptical look on Lainey's face confirmed she was on the same wavelength as him. But what were they supposed to do? She wasn't doing or saying anything wrong.

"Yes," Lainey said slowly, reaching out to pick Evie up and set her back on the floor. "But don't go far. We're having dinner soon!" she called out after Evie as she made a break for the exit, no doubt heading towards her bedroom where all her toys were. Soon as she cleared the door, Lainey let out a deep breath, groaning and sagging against him as she deflated. Dean was ready for it, pulling her into his arms, finally letting his own laughter out now that they didn't have an audience.

"Your daughter is a fucking terror," Lainey complained, and Dean laughed harder, pressing a kiss to the top of Lainey's head.

"Why's she my daughter when she's driving you nuts?"

"Because you drive me nuts, Winchester," she retorted, poking a finger at his ribs without lifting her head or moving out of his embrace. "Like father, like daughter."

Dean scoffed. "Says the woman that was hell on wheels when we were kids. Nearly every time I got into trouble before the age of, like, eleven, it was your fault," he reminded her. "And after that, it was still about ninety percent on you."

"Someone's memory's slipping," she grumbled, and Dean pinched her side, making her laugh.

"Definitely not, Hollings. I was a perfect angel, and you were the devil on my shoulder."

She finally pulled back then, just enough to look up at him, eyes sparkling and filled with love, a smile on her face he had missed while he was away, and his breath caught in his throat, just like it always did with her.

"Revisionist's history," she argued, but Dean was over it. Instead of continuing to make his point, he dipped his head, capturing her lips the kind of kiss he'd wanted when he got there but would have been wholly inappropriate with Evie watching. Lainey let out a moan of both surprise and pleasure, her hands moving from his waist to wrap around his neck instead, while she went up on her toes to get closer, giving as good as she got.

"Missed you," he mumbled against her lips as he backed her up towards the counter, hands on her hips.

"Missed you too," Lainey agreed. "How was Kevin?"

"Kid's fine," Dean assured her. "'m more interested in you right now."

Her back hit the counter and their lips met again, tongues dancing and hands starting to wander as they reacquainted themselves with each other. They were still going at it when footsteps sounded from the hallway, and they broke apart, more than a little breathless, just as Sam walked in, clocking them immediately and rolling his eyes.

"Seriously?" he asked, walking straight past them towards the fridge. "You've been together, what? Like eighty years, and you still can't keep your hands off each other?" he teased. Dean rolled his eyes, but Lainey nestled closer to him, moving one arm to wrap around his waist while she reached for the beer he discarded earlier with her other.

"More like twenty, smartass," she corrected, going to take a sip from the bottle then frowning. "Unless you count those five and a half years…"

"Same thing," Sam retorted.

"Don't be jealous, Sammy. I'm sure there's a nice girl out there for you somewhere."

"Yeah, yeah," he dismissed, closing the fridge with a bottle of water now in hand. "Where'd Evie go?"

"Off licking her wounds in her room," Lainey answered, offering Dean the beer when she lowered it from her lips. He accepted, and took his own swig as she moved to join Sam at the island. "Caught her climbing on the furniture, again, and trying to steal cookies."

Sam winced, and Lainey bent, reaching down to start pulling out pots and pans from the lower shelves. "What was her damage for that one?" he asked.

"No dessert, tonight and tomorrow," Dean recited, leaning back and crossing his ankles, his gaze landing back on Lainey. "You know she took that way too easily, right?"

Lainey huffed. "No need to tell me. I'm gonna have to have eyes in the back of my fucking head the rest of the night to figure out whatever she's cooking up."

"Parents of the year right here," Sam quipped.

"Yeah sure, yuck it up, sasquatch. You need any help with dinner, Laine?"

The next few hours passed by with easy conversation, scattered laughter, and time spent catching up on the things he'd missed while he'd been gone. Evie, despite all the mischief she'd been up to all day, was well behaved through dinner, excitedly telling Dean about her new class — they'd finally gotten to enroll her in kindergarten now that they were settled somewhere — and asking him a million questions about his "trip." Sam and Lainey filled him in on details of research they'd done through the Men of Letters archives as they tried to figure out the totality of what they'd all stumbled upon, carefully editing the information for Evie's benefit, and Lainey kept giving him heated looks that promised a happy ending to the night.

Life wasn't perfect, but it was pretty damn good, and the bunker wasn't a traditional home the way the townhouse had been, or even Bobby's, but it was safer, and it had his family, and that was all Dean really cared about at the end of the day. The rest of it was just dressing.

He'd almost forgotten about Evie's suspiciously low-key acceptance of her punishment by the time they were all winding down for the night. But then, as he and Lainey were heading towards their own room, Sam having gone off to bed about a half hour before and Evie having been tucked in a half hour before that, he noticed it. Dim light spilling from under Evie's door and the sounds of movement inside her room.

He paused, catching Lainey's eye, and then, with a sigh, they opened the door, the light from the hallway spilling inside to illuminate the scene before them.

Evie was sat atop her bed, legs crossed, flashlight lying in her lap, with a bag next to her, and a mess of candy spilled out over the comforter in front of her. She had been eagerly tearing into what looked like a packet of peanut M&M's but froze like a deer caught in headlights at the intrusion, hand halfway to her mouth and quickly swallowing what she'd already been chewing.

Dean realized then that he should have guessed straight away. Of course Evie had a secret stash of candy. She hadn't cared about no dessert because she already had a backup plan… and Dean didn't have to think hard to wonder where she got the idea.

Turning to Lainey, smirk tugging at his lips, he raised his eyebrows.

"I think," he said quietly, so that only she could hear, "the phrase you were looking for earlier was like mother like daughter."

Lainey sighed and took a deep breath before rounding on Evie, switching into full-on Mom mode in a way Dean silently admired. He caught it though before she did — the flicker of amusement, the fond exasperation, and, most important of all, the love he knew she felt for both of them.

And even though Evie was angry and pouting by the time they finally left her for real that night, Dean couldn't help but have a smile on his face as he slipped into bed with Lainey a little while later.

Lainey Hollings was an absolute menace, the biggest pain in his ass he'd ever had, and together they'd created a little monster Dean was sure would have him running in circles for years to come, but that was okay. Lainey's chaos and unpredictability had been the biggest constants in his life and he wouldn't have had it any other way. That Evie was following in her footsteps…

Well, Dean was sure there'd be plenty of ups and downs, but he could think of worse fates.

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