E | 26 | he/him | queer | Masshole | I hate the word 'eclectic' but it's as good a description of this blog as I can give. | Feel free to send me a message! I'd love to talk. If you need anything tagged let me know
i understand that it's unreasonable to expect a band on world tour to play in every country in the world but i do think they should only be allowed to call it a world tour if they play in every continent. we need to make it embarrassing to say world tour and then not even step foot in africa
Project Hail Mary is a buddy comedy sci fi adventure but we all need to appreciate the fact that before the book starts, Rocky has been living in a completely different genre. Rocky has been in a fucking Alien style psychological space survival horror for nearly 50 years. Rocky went to space with a huge crew, exploring farther than anyone from his planet ever had, and then all at once every member of his crew *except him* got horrifically sick and died for no apparent reason. And then Rocky sat in this huge spaceship, built for a crew of 23, now empty and eerily silent, for FIFTY YEARS.
Grace had a hard enough time waking up and finding his dead crew mates, and he only had to deal with that for a couple weeks before meeting Rocky. He didn’t remember who they were at first. He didn’t watch them die. Rocky basically survived a horrific space plague, watching helplessly as his crew mates - his FRIENDS - died around him, and then spent 50 years in silence. Rocky was the final girl of the Blip-A except after his horror movie was over he was just stuck there, in this huge ship that had become an empty mausoleum, for decades. With no one to watch him sleep.
Obviously Rocky gets his happy ending after he and his new best friend save the stars and return to Erid, but I can’t help thinking about the absolute genre whiplash Rocky received going from the events before meeting Grace into the events of the book. It’s honestly a miracle that he wasn’t a raving madman (madrock???) by the time Grace showed up at Tau Ceti. It’s easy to imagine another version of the story where Grace meets Rocky and finds a vicious, terrified, angry animal, with no idea that this violent beast used to be a person, that his mind has completely broken after nearly half a century of horror and grief and solitary confinement in space.
Anyway I sure hope they have good therapists on Erid.
As much as I love and find the concept of eridians having clothes but Rocky not wearing his during the events of PHM because he's either a freak or have other reasons.
I'll retain from doing so because I'm not going through hell trying to figure out how the fuck do they make clothes on an atmosphere that is hot as fuck, what material is it made of and how the fuck am I going to design clothes for all the different types of eridians I will be making comics with.
“Why don’t you use ai” idk man beyond the obvious environmental and “this machine causes psychosis and encourages people to kill themselves” thing I think asking the equivalent of a solid D student who is also a pathological liar if they can answer my question/do the work for me seems pretty fucking stupid
Random thing for people to consider is that since Laika is the saint of one way trips should Felicette be known as the saint of safe landings since she did make it back to the ground safely
tu LANCES félicette ? tu lances son corps comme la fusée ? oh ! oh ! prison pour les scientifiques ! prison pour les scientifiques pendant Un Mille Ans !
if you call a meme fascist people will defend it by saying we can't culturally defeat fascism by letting them have everything they claim for themselves and the meme in question is "reject modernity embrace tradition"
On Grace’s relationship with DuBois and Shapiro in Project Hail Mary
***book spoilers ahead***
I want to do a quick dive into the infamous scene between Grace, DuBois, and Shapiro in chapter 17 (pp. 283–285 in my copy) because an idea occurred to me and I can’t rest until I dig into it. This is the scene in which DuBois informs Grace of the sexual nature of his relationship with Shapiro.
Something about the conversation didn’t sit quite right for me. Upon reflection, I wanted to take a step back from (or perhaps, as it happens, a step further into) my aroace reading of Grace and get to the bottom of what Weir’s intention was in writing it. While I do believe that the aroace reading is strongly supported by the text, I don’t believe that it was specifically intended, which brings us to these points:
The reader is meant to understand that Grace feels a general social disconnect from the Project Hail Mary team stemming from his poor self-confidence
The reader is meant to perceive his total lack of awareness with regard to how highly he ranks in the project’s hierarchy of power
These two points, having previously been established, are both cemented by the scene. Grace is uncomfortable being enlightened to the details of DuBois and Shapiro’s sex life, and he doesn’t seem to grasp the fact that both scientists view him as a superior. It’s heavily implied that DuBois initiates the conversation because he feels the need to report developments in his workplace relationships to a higher-up, and I firmly believe this to be the case—he comments on the prudence of informing Grace on the subject—but that motivation alone doesn’t account for all of what he says. The way I see it, just about anyone alive (regardless of their personal stance on romance or sex) would feel awkward in Grace’s shoes, which begs the question: Why did DuBois and Shapiro both overshare so brazenly?
The first possible interpretation: Knowing that their relationship is doomed, they’ve elected to completely set aside social decorum in the interest of enjoying their time together to the fullest.
The second possible interpretation: They wanted to test Grace’s receptivity to becoming their third.
Stay with me. We can infer that the conversation was premeditated—DuBois launches into it very suddenly, and the first thing he does when Shapiro returns from the restroom is update her on the basics of what’s been said. This is clearly something that they discussed sharing with Grace in advance. Furthermore:
DuBois gently counters Grace on the merits of entering a relationship under the otherwise bleak circumstances
He’s overly blunt and forthright about specifics, such as the lack of need for condoms and the fact that he and Shapiro have both undergone thorough medical examinations
When Grace demonstrates disinterest, DuBois drops one last hint, which is what really sealed the deal for me: “It’s quite pleasurable.” Grace still doesn’t take the bait, so DuBois begins to back off. After briefing Shapiro on the status of the conversation, he deftly changes the subject by pivoting into science talk, but Shapiro gives another independent push: She interrupts the beginning of Grace’s lecture to openly invite DuBois to sex after the lesson, and then they both look at Grace. Grace interprets this gesture as them being “ready for their lesson,” but I would argue that it’s really a classic case of unreliable narration. He misses the cue.
I imagine that at this point, Shapiro (like DuBois) is willing to give up the cause, but we get one more small tidbit of insight: Grace asks (out of what I can only assume is morbid curiosity) if DuBois sticks to his convention of using Shapiro’s professional title during sex, and they both answer affirmatively. Just prior, we hear Shapiro address DuBois by his first name, and prior to that (directly before introducing the topic of sex), DuBois encourages Grace to address him by his first name as well. Granted, that encouragement was prompted—Grace makes it known that he would prefer to drop the formalities in private settings, given that he views the three of them as equals—but DuBois is shown time and again to be someone who highly values professionalism in and out of the workplace. He politely declines Grace’s invitation to address him as Ryland.
Power dynamics seem to play a role in his sex life with Shapiro, as evidenced by her disclosing that she “kind of likes” his use of her title in the bedroom. With that in mind, I don’t think it’s a stretch to conclude that they would both be into the idea of incorporating (what they mutually perceive to be) actual power dynamics into the relationship through the inclusion of Grace.
Circling back to DuBois’s staunch professionalism, I would cite that as further evidence that he’s coming on to Grace in this scene—discussing the minute details of your sex life with your boss is about as far from professional as you can get. Much of what he says is superfluous and irrelevant to the goal of reporting on the existence of a sexual relationship under obligation, unless you factor in the possibility that an obligatory report wasn’t his only goal.
As a final note, I remember the DuBois-Shapiro scene in the movie sticking out to me even upon my first viewing, just because of how oddly it plays out: The two of them are cuddling up at the pre-launch party, and DuBois seems to intentionally make eye contact with Grace from across the bar—who, being caught off guard and slightly uncomfortable, nods in acknowledgement and looks away. I wasn’t sure what to make of that prior to reading the book, but now it stands to me as a reference to the existing undercurrent between the characters in the text. In both versions, DuBois and Shapiro make a bid for Grace’s attention, and Grace is unreceptive. Given that no pre-launch party scene occurs in the book, I have to conclude that the inclusion of this detail in the movie was intentional and carries subtextual significance.
Obviously, if we take this interpretation at face value, it’s more fuel to the fire that is the aroace reading of Grace. It can be used to argue that he rejects amatonormativity on all levels—not just in his scant experience pursuing longterm committed relationships, but in his failure to so much as entertain the idea of a fling or friends with benefits arrangement, even when an easy opportunity presents itself. Romantic affairs never seem to cross his mind. He’s oblivious to the way his relationship with Stratt is perceived until confronted on the subject by DuBois, and he’s quicker to accuse her of sexism upon learning that she sought an all-male team of astronauts than he is to put stock in her actual line of reasoning. If DuBois and Shapiro were indeed trying to make a move on him, it’s no wonder that it flew over his head.
Even beyond the aroace reading, though, this interpretation still contributes to the narrative: It showcases Grace’s emotional isolation on a broader scale and demonstrates how grossly he underestimates the regard his associates have for him. He’s woefully out of his depth in the rigid world of international negotiations that he gets thrust into, ignorant to the degree of sociopolitical power and authority he’s been granted through his close proximity to Stratt, and unaware of what makes his participation so crucial to the project’s success. It only follows that he would also be immune to flirtation, never recognizing his own assets or what might make him uniquely desirable. Thematically, this underlines his later growth in finding a purpose, building the courage and confidence needed to fulfill that purpose, and embracing love (however unconventional its form) as a driving force.
#i think the authorial purpose of the scene was moreso establishing a reason for shapiro to go with dubois at the research centre#but i would be lying if i said I don't love the#“my fellow human sacrifice and i saw you from across the lab and we really dig your vibe” interpretation
The funny thing about the World of Darkness vampires is that they are literally one of the only two splats (along with demons) that include an explicit, practical reason not to be a complete fucking asshole, because they literally lose their minds if they get too nasty, and yet they're still Like That. And all of them in-universe are like "well, you know, the Inner Beast drives you to be a monster :(", but if you look at the actual evil shit they do, 90% of it has zero to do with the Inner Beast and everything to do with, like, capitalism, neo-feudalism, severe delusions of grandeur, and existing in a state of perpetual turf war. Like, I really don't think the Curse of Caine made you burn down your rival's entire appartment building, bro, I think you might just be a bad person and getting rewarded for it
there's this specific grief that comes with being trans and hearing another trans person has died. because no matter how far away they were, it never feels distant, it feels communal. cellular. like someone reached into the wiring of your own body and cut a thread. trans people learn early on in their journey - often even before they begin transitioning - that survival is treated like a political statement. joy is political. transition is political. getting to exist long enough to become boring is political.
and now mourning is political, too.
i'm so sorry, murry foust. i keep thinking about how tired you must have been. how tired all of us are. how humiliating it is that even when we die alone, people still laugh and debate whether we deserved to live a happy, dignified life at all.
there are trans kids online right now learning your name – and the names of juniper blessing, lucas redbeard knapp, aleanna belcher, and davonta curtis – through grief. through fear. through that horrible, familiar ache of "that could've been me." and i hate that this is part of our inheritance from one another. not just chosen family and resilience and beauty – but memorials. vigils. apology letters to ghosts.
you deserved better. you deserved to grow old and live a happy, fulfilled life. all of us do. i promise we will keep fighting for our community to have a better future and we'll carry our lost siblings the whole way through.
"But it's not FOR them!!!" The biggest military power in the world belongs to a christofascist nation overseen by a felon found guilty of 34 federal crimes and has greenlit a gestapo with more direct funding than the entire military of Canada for the purpose of ethnic cleansing. Let Hetero Jessica throw some biodegradable glitter at a municipal parade
At this point if anyone is trying to exclude anyone benignly pro-queer from a pro-queer space I'm just going to assume you're a fed or something idk like something something destabilize the movement from within or whatever
My explanation for the book v. film difference on Eridian eating customs is that movie!Rocky was full-on bluffing.
Like he was just calling human eating disgusting, what was he going to do, say "okay actually the way Eridians eat is so incredibly gross we do it in private sound-proofed rooms"? And cede the conversational high-ground and sense of species superiority to Grace??? Nah, it looks beautiful, definitely.
Then Grace says "show me" and Rocky is stuck now, he's committed. So he just bucks up and goes all-in. It's not like he'll see the human after this is all done, he can pretend it's totally normal just this once.
Eventually before they reach Erid Rocky is gonna have to come clean, and Grace will laugh at him for an hour straight.
areudirty
stormborns
gummygunk
vaporwave
blakekathryn
jbbartram-illu
