I call you beautiful

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@courtthestorm
I call you beautiful
She is All I need
I fell in love with a girl who’s spirit was to big for my head. But every time I praised her, wrote about her, my head stretched a little further. And this made me feel a little more like a God.
Death By Cuddles
MALO - not bad is in bad, but bad as in good
Book 365
Someone asked me, 'what my life was’... and all I could think of were the flowers on the tips of your toes, the stars exploding from your mouth, the warmth in the generous gaps between your fingers, and the forest giving life inside of your ribcage.
Here’s to more of my life being you.
LA 11/8/14
Book 364 … To making perfect moments.
When you think about it, Its crazy what our love can do... Just the sight of you can remind me to thank my heart for keeping me alive, being with you, in every capacity makes me long to stay with you, and just knowing your perfect existence crossed paths with mine makes me feels like I can do anything, especially with you by my side; we can do anything, we will, we will always make a moment perfect.
LA 11/7/14
Book 363
Book 363
Down the coastline
La Noir to where the world started, Neverland
With a fall (the season) playlist in tow
Dependent, attached and not at all balanced
She lets go from the depth of her soul, “Maybe it’s too far. Maybe it’s not far enough. But I can carry this... I need a change. I need something, that's not this..."
“I need hands that crawl out of the earth, I need to cuddle with leaves, lamina and blades. And love, pure and simple, so simple and easy and free.”
She pecks at the folds of her skin and begins to unravel.
Slowly at first
In bark,
in sap,
each stitch a heartbeat
images toppling on top of each other with the rhythm of her heartbeat. A storm, ferocious, great lakes, backyard refuge, more to see, falling, choice, tree houses, red wood and fur, succulent spines, all combining to give her life meaning. And then finally…The sounds of breath. A gulp of life.
(Air signs become sick if they are too far from the mother for too long; from her wind, her caress, hey hymn; an inner sickness, a longing for her ocean, for her time, her foliage, a hunger they can never quite settle… they are reunited with lost parts of their souls in the wild, amongst the trees…)
This is a revolution of the self. It’s been a long time coming. She was borne above ground and specialized for this.
Because we never have forgotten that true happiness, true love, true freedom is possible.
The sweet is never as sweet without the sour.
It’s the little things.
There is nothing bigger than this.
LA 11/6/14
Book 362
What I am and what you love are not the same person.
Not in my eyes.
\
Cycling back to this, the best words I know are - p.s. Hold them above my head, hold them below me, hold me to them, gouge them inside of me and rip out what's not - "lightly lightly lightly" the best advice I ever got "lightly lightly lightly"
... “It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. I was so preposterously serious in those days… Lightly, lightly – it’s the best advice ever given me…So throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly my darling…”
Aldous Huxley
LA 11/5/14
Book 361
If truth is beauty, then beauty is truth.
What WE are is truth.
Is beautiful.
Today, I will focus on this beautiful truth.
LA 11/4/14
Book 360 Learning to unlearn.
I am not fearless.
I am not, not afraid.
So forgive me if I am ever scared of craving you, in every second, of every day, the possibility of needing you, of being addicted to you.
And I am scared of my not being enough. Meeting you where you stand so high and so firm, and seeing my insufficiency in your eyes.
and yet I push Forward. With the understanding that life can only be seen backwards but lived forward... and it takes years as a man to unlearn what i have been taught to be sorry for.
LA 11/3/14
You know how I can get. I am THE storm…. I wonder if anyone can ever court me- and you insist that you got me … So I let you, hard fought, high strung, loud cries, I let you watch over me… Cause you INSIST you got me…. So through the good and the pain we breathe and one day we will wake up from this crazy dream and when we meet again… What happens then? I don’t know but I’m pretty sure you will insist “you got me”.
Book 359 My learning loving heart A growing-bruised-healing-heart It's working; I'm doing my best to work on me. It's working. LA 11/2/14
Book 358 Shakespeare take it away... When I saw you I fell in love, and You smiled Because you knew.
Book 347 - 357
Book 347
You know how I can get. I am THE storm.... I wonder if anyone can ever court me- and you insist that you got me ... So I let you, hard fought, high strung, loud cries, I let you watch over me... Cause you INSIST you got me.... So through the good and the pain we breathe and one day we will wake up from this crazy dream and when we meet again... What happens then? I don't know but I'm pretty sure you will insist "you got me".
LA 10/21/14
Book 348 - Peter Pan Mentality
You can still have adventures and live for the future...
Yo, the boy who never grew up:
"I will not be your Wendy. I will not wait for you while you globe trot, and imagine, and live so desperately for the now you refuse to soften enough to play the game of plugging in and making it happen together. I will not wait for you to find enlightenment… But come back and fly into my window and ask me to join you for a long time coming, learn from me, see me, watch how I fly, see what I know and you got it.”
You can still have adventures and live for the future...
LA 10/22/14
Book 349
Wash away so that I might hear.
…
Behold - you are carved in the palm of my hand
& I will never not feel you.
LA 10/23/14
Book 350
Black sun
Blood moon
Life is good
Even when we’re not.
LA 10/24/14
Book 351
I will cover you.
Like the sons
covered the father.
Like father covers man.
God covers children.
Mother covers growth.
With flesh and sacrifice I will cover you so no harm comes to you.
LA 10/25/15
Book 352
It has been so very hard.
There are days where I don't know if I can do it
(Not like this).
I love you in this life
I love you in my presence
Not to make up for lost time or catch up
But in the thousands of nows.
And we're planning a wedding. I haven't even seen you.
My ego pops and says
I just started to love you again and you left me and never came back.
(That 3 day trip become forever)
And I'm starting to think the only thing I do well on my own is think about myself.
You know the song "wayfaring stranger" - that's me without you.
Partly frightened
Partly okay.
Without you I am me
With you I am us
I like being us.
Come home.
Help me find us.
Of course I wanna get away. There is nothing here for me. With you I have purpose here. I was gone and you brought me back. Took me into your home. Opened your heart and listened to my cries. I was gone and you kept me.
So keep me.
L.A. 10/26/14
Book 353 TAROT BREAKDOWN has entered our home...
The Queen of Pentacles depicts a SOLITARY woman who sits upon a throne.
Solitary… "done or existing alone: I live a pretty solitary life| tigers are essentially solitary.”
The rabbit also hops into our awareness, symbolising that it is a good time to look before we leap and exercise good judgement as the Queen of Pentacles does.
I will do my best to learn from this bunny, look before I jump and exercise good judgement like you always do my Queen.
& The Queen of Pentacles suggests that it is important to you that you are able to live independently, you are also able to find time to invest in yourself and ensure that you have enough ‘me’ time in between all of your other commitments.
L.A. 10/27/14
Book 354
Our eyes apologize better.
See you soon.
LA 10/28/14
Book 355
We are quite the pair.
You believing in me
and me believing I’m worth it and deserve it.
LA 10/29/14
Book 356
Trees become seasick if they are too far from the ocean for too long; an inner sickness, a longing for her ocean, a hunger they can never quite settle… they are reunited with lost parts of their souls in the sea.
LA 10/30/14
Book 357
A spooky poem…
The spookiest thing I can say is, when you come home I’m gonna do everything with you.
LA 10/31/14
A real love letter is made of insight, understanding, and compassion. Otherwise it’s not a love letter. A true love letter can produce a transformation in the other person, and therefore in the world. But before it produces a transformation in the other person, it has to produce a transformation within us. Some letters may take the whole of our lifetime to write.
The opening of the book