Batman headcanon that Bruce realizes early on that he can sway other heroes in the community by distracting them with his cute kids. He abuses this power so much and, though the Justice League are annoyed by it, there’s not much they can do about it.
It started with Dick when he was smol and had the biggest, bluest eyes ever in the existence of ever. Bruce saw how much more cooperative other heroes were when he had a teeny Robin trailing behind him. None of the other leaguers /dare/ yell at or argue with Batman when Dick is with him. Therefore, to cut down on fights Bruce just brings Dick to all meetings, and has the smallest of smug smirks as Jordon is going purple trying to restrain himself from ripping into the Bat but lil Dickie is half asleep snuggled into Bruce’s shoulder and Diana will rip Hal in 37.9 pieces if he wakes up the little bird.
If he wanted to escape awkward conversations, he’d just bring Jason with him because he knows the League wants to make Jay feel open and welcome with his new family. So when Superman starts calling Bruce out on some shit, he calls over his new bird and tells Jay that Uncle Clark wants to hear about his day. Ad Jay just lights up because people care about him now so he goes on and on about how happy he is in sixth grade and to learning and fed and loved and the League is enamored and no one even notices or cares that Batman’s suddenly gone.
Timmy knows that Bruce uses him and he’s (mostly) okay with it. He usually bribes Bruce like ‘Sure I’ll be extra cute so Flash will stop bugging you IF you take me to the new exhibit at the historical museum Saturday’ and Bruce, of course, has no problem with this and in fact s so proud of Tim’s negotiating skills and pretty soon they’ve got each other’s backs covering for each other. Sometimes Tim asks if Bruce can scare the pajamas off the Titans to get them into action or something similar. It’s a mutualistic interaction that they both appreciate and understand.
With Damian Bruce expected things would be similar to Dick since Damian is also very teeny and precious but Dami is having none of that. He does not get THE PLAN and every time Bruce tries to distract the heroes with Damian’s cuteness, Dami won’t play along. He acts surly and sassy and rolls his eyes and pretty soon all the League is after Bruce because Damian is reminding them how much they want to rip into Batman for whatever. Bruce is just standing there ‘I am betrayed by my own flesh and blood’. But nah, Dami’s just too much like his poppa. (That’s not to say he isn’t still a cutie patootie, but he does it on his OWN terms thank you very much. He’s talked to Grayson, Todd and Drake, he’s totally in on the scam. He’s already been manipulated by one parent in his life)
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