GothamCityTrash

I’m here for a good time , not a long time… i’m not having a good time tho

[incorrectbatfam]

Speakkng of books what do the batfam use for bookmarks

Dick: the library receipt

Jason: his own mugshot

Tim: auto-saves on his phone

Damian: a batarang

Duke: a post-it note

Cullen: playing cards

Stephanie: Bruce's credit card

Cassandra: a knife

Barbara: color-coded tabs

Harper: a paper clip

Carrie: a lollipop

Kate: a travel brochure

Alfred: he just remembers

Selina: dried flowers

Bruce: dog-ears the pages

[gothamcitytrash]

no wonder bruce and jason don’t get along

[gothamcitytrash]

Mama didn’t raise a bitch

The Signal - Are you sure about this … there are at least 30 armed goons down there

Red Hood - Mama didn’t raise a bitch

The Spoiler - Mama didn’t raise you at all … you were literally found in a dumpster

[gothamcitytrash]

Detective Work

Clark - Can i ask a quick question?

Dick - Sure Uncle Clark , what’s up?

Clark - How did all of you figure out my identity? Did Bruce tell you

Dick - Nope , i drew a pair of glasses on a photo of you in the newspaper

Jason - I put a tracker in you

Tim - i analysed flight patterns in Metropolis and figured out where you visit the most , Daily Planet and your Farm

Steph - You have the same butt as Superman

Damian - i recognised that the mud on the sole of your shoes was the same as the mud on the Farm

Clark - oh… okay…. Wait in me?

Jason - yuh

[gothamcitytrash]

Disaster

Jason sees tim in fetal position - what’s up with replacement

Dick stroking tim’s hair- he had a date with bernard today

Jason slightly worried - did they break up?

Dick - nope , bernard said ‘i love you’

Jason - o…kay then why is he upset

Tim still in a fetal position - I SAID LIKEWISE :(

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: Rule one of being a vigilante: use whatever tools or tricks necessary to stay ahead of your enemies.

Bruce: Rule two of being a vigilante: never give out free information.

Bruce: Rule three of being a vigilante: even though teamwork is important, if you're sure you can handle something, do it.

Bruce: Got that?

Duke, writing "gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss" in his notes: Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[gothamcitytrash]

Duke has been spending too much time around Steph

[gothamcitytrash]

Questions and Answers

Bruce - hmm

Damian - Hmm

Bruce - Hmm

Damian - Hmm

Steph pulling a joint out of her bra - what are they saying

Jason pulling a lighter out of his pocket and lighting it - fuck knows

Steph taking a puff and passing it to Jason - why do you have a lighter? i thought you stopped smoking?

Jason taking joint - arson , since when did you start smoking weed?

Steph - i don’t … hell i didn’t even know the joint was in there , my tits were just itchy

[gothamcitytrash]

Tea

Alfred - Tea? Miss Stephanie

Steph- Always , sit down and spill sis💅

Alfred - …

Steph - that’s not what you meant is it?

Alfred - No Miss Stephanie

[gothamcitytrash]

Glowstick

Nightwing - anyone got a light? i can’t see anything

Red Hood picking up The Signal- gimme a sec

The Signal - hey what’re you doing?

Red Hood shaking The Signal like a glowstick - there we go

The Signal still in Red Hood arms- i’m not a glowstick dude

Red Hood - and yet you work like one

[gothamcitytrash]

Mutally Exclusive

Red Hood - who the fuck is that?

Batman - Andrea Beaumont , we used too…

Red Hood - Date?

Batman - NO! , i used to fight her

Catwoman - you say that like those 2 things are mutually exclusive

[el993]

Hello^^ I made a small comic fanart of this fanfic : https://archiveofourown.org/works/30271446 by @incorrectbatfam Hope you like it ^^

[doc-anders]

Red Hood: “Feel this kid, that’s solid muscle! Wait where are y-“

[gothamcitytrash]

Batman Works Alone

Joker - fuck you and your merry band of orphans

Batman - don’t talk to me or my son , or my son , or my son , or my son , or my son , or my son or my daughter or my daughter or my daughter or my daughter in law or my legal guardian or my wife or my not a husband husband again

[gothamcitytrash]

Schoolboy Problems

Damian - …

Bruce - How was school today Damian.

Damian -A child pushed me over , and your ridiculous rule of no fighting outside of patrol and the manor has proven its pointlessness once again father.

Bruce - …

Damian - How am I meant to get revenge ?

Dick and Duke - You could turn the other cheek and forgive them :)

Damian - tt… Todd .

Jason pulling an axe out of nowhere and dropping it on the table - fuck em up batbrat.

Damian trying to pick up an axe bigger than he is - You understand me Todd, i now see your worth to me.

[gothamcitytrash]

Birthday

Jason Knocking on Harley and Ivy’s door : GET YOUR FINGERS OUT OF EACH OTHER AND OPEN UP LESBIANS , I GOT GIFTS

Ivy : Jason? the fuck are you doing here?

Jason : it’s harley birthday

Ivy : i know but why are you here?

Jason : Cause i’ve got presents

Ivy : i thought you hated her?

Jason : fuck no , she’s my favourite rogue

Harley : RED HOODIE!?!??!! :)

Jason : INSANE CLOWN PUSSY!!!!

Harley jumps into jason knocking him over : PRESENT ME , BABY

Jason on the floor : here , it’s homemade!

Harley opens box and sees a pile of teeth : FUCK YEAH

Ivy : What is it?

Harley visibly vibrating with excitement : TEETH!?!?!

Ivy : What?!?! the fuck … why ?

Jason still on the floor : not just any teeth … But The Jokers teeth , now he can’t laugh at you anymore :)

Harley tearing up : you’re my favourite y’know that hoodie

[gothamcitytrash]

Book Club

Barbara holding Jason by the ear : TELL HIM WHAT YOU DID

Jason freeing himself : i didn’t do shit

Barbara : really? try again

Jason : i didn’t do anything illegal

Bruce : jason? what’s happened

Barbara glaring at jason : go on

Jason softly : i was at book club

Barbara : WITH

Jason : Harley

Barbara : AND

Jason : Ivy

Barbara : KEEP GOING

Jason : Bane

Bruce : what?

Barbara : he was at book club with Harley , Ivy and Bane

Bruce : I know why i’m angry , he shouldn’t be friendly with the rogues, but why are you?

Barbara : they didn’t fuckin invite me Bitchman

[gothamcitytrash]

Jason’s Death

TW// Graphic detail of child violence and Sexual Assualt

This is my Headcanon for ;

- How Jason Died

- How Jason was Resurrected

- Jason finds out where his birth mother is and goes to get her ,Batman didn’t know at the time.

- Sheila Todd actually sold Jason to the Joker for heroin.

- Knocked out by Joker.

- Kidnapped by Joker.

- Beaten with crowbar for hours.

- Tortured by Joker and other inmates in Arkham.

- Jason is tortured for 2 years.

- Joker uses Jason comms to tell Batman.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Joker - Hello Batsy

Batman angrily - Joker

Joker - now i am so sorry that i kept this from you

Batman concerned - what did you do

Joker - well… y’know how the second boy wonder kinda went kaboom

Batman - i’d watch that mouth , or i’ll tear it off

Joker - if you could’ve done that , you would’ve done that years ago… now what if i told him you could see him again

Batman - what did you do

Joker - just follow the trail of bodies you big brooding bouncing baby bat ;)

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

- Batman follows the co-ordinates cautiously.

- Batman finds Jason’s mangeled but still breathing body and brings him back to the bat cave for medical attention.

- He dies on the table , his last words being “ where were you bruce “

- Jason is re-buried.

- Ra’s steals Jasons corpse to resurrect him ( he wants an heir to the league )

- Attempted Resurrected by Ra’s and Talia

- Ra’s and Talia assume Jasons resurrection didn’t work so they think Jason is dead and bury him on his compound

- Jason awakens in his coffin and punches him way out.

- Crawls out of his grave and kills almost every assassin form Lazarus Pit Madness.

- Jason trains and is ‘brainwashed’ by Ra’s.

- Once his training is complete he kills all his teachers so no-one has to go through it again.

- Talia helps Jason leave the compound

- Returns to Gotham.

- Kills a shit ton of people.

- Beats the shit out of Batman , forcing Dick to be Batman cause Bruce was fucked up by Jason.

- Breaks into Wayne Manor and beats up Tim but leaves him alive.

- Terrorises Gothams underworld for months until Bruce recovers.

- Jason kidnaps Dick , Tim and Barbara to get Bruce’s Attention.

- Jason fights Batman again.

- Batman is winning so Jason breaks down a door hiding the Joker.

- Jason shows the Bruce , Dick , Barbara and Tim Jokers mangeled still breathing body.

- Throws him at Batman alongside a gun to kill Joker.

- Batman refuses.

- Jason lunges for Batman.

- Batman knocks out Jason and brings him back to the cave.

- Jason is kept there until Bruce figures out what to do with him and how to rehabilitate him

[gothamcitytrash]

Names

Dick!Batman : Hey jason , why do you have a child

Jason!RedRobin : I dunno

Babs : does he have a name

Jason!RedRobin : yeah it’s uh… fuckin uh … fuckin Batkid i guess

Tim!BatKid : IM BATKID! :) :) :)

Dick!Batman : the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree does it