Prompt Fill: All Grown Up
For thesaltofcarthage. The eternally patient, kind, wonderful, understanding internet invisi-friend I’ve had since I had a dream of space gays. It’s finally done, and I hope you get a kick out of this. Also, is kinda long…
“Dad. I told you that I wanted to find a job on my own.”
“I know, sweetheart, but I don’t think you understand how difficult it is to get a job out of high school. You can get your feet wet working for me, build some confidence, get some experience, and then in a year or twenty you’ll be ready and able to find something on your own.”
“I have never wanted to work at the Embassy, you know that. It’s bad enough that you bring your work home for us to ‘bond’ over.”
“But you’re so good at it, and I just want to help you better yourself. Please? Just for a year, and then you can leave your dear old dad to wither away in his old age.”
“You are such a drama queen. No wonder Mom left.”
“That was uncalled for, young lady. And you didn’t like her either.”
“…She was a bit of a bitch, wasn’t she?”
“Oh no, don’t think you’ll get away with that at work. The whole point of this is to embrace adulthood, and you scolding me is so not a part of that. Also, I want to work in Mrs. Blacktail’s department.”
“Can I scold you at home?”
“Only on topics unrelated to work or coworkers.”
Appara never really enjoyed working at her father’s embassy. The constant ringing of the bell above the entrance and the self-important squawking of its patrons never failed to give her a migraine by 10 AM. On the dot. Her first argument with her superior-not her father-was over her coffee pot from home being present on her desk. Unprofessional, he claimed, unseemly and untoward, presumptuous even for Daddy’s-Little-Girl. Necessary, she argued, unlike your constant whining about being a babysitter for spoiled rich kids wanting to leave the nether realms.
He lost that argument, and his job, when a ghoul from the second level tried to check in for an appointment with the Department of Leisure Cullings and was accosted by the furious manager. On film. With witnesses. Appara kept her coffee pot, and offered the ghoul a cup while he waited to be seen.
The days passed into weeks, and eventually two months went by. Her duties mostly consisted of directing the nefarious citizens of the seven hells to their appropriate departments and appointments, handling her father’s data entry-seriously, he has his own secretary for this!-and coordinating follow-up appointments, travel times of their patrons, and which forms needed to be filled out for what request and so on. And so forth. It was easy. And boring.
The ghoul from her first week on the job dropped by at least twice a week with a coffee in hand. Yes I know you have a functioning pot just by your elbow, Appara, he would say-sigh, rolling his eyes all the while, but I made this just for you and I even found some virgin tears to sweeten it. At least twice a week, the same song and dance with coffee and shared smirks and him perched on the counter beside her as she went about her day. The regulars, the ones who worked for a week at a time on the other side, grew used to his presence at Appara’s desk. They thought it sweet how oblivious she was to her young suitor’s intentions.
“Do we have any virgin’s tears on hand?”
“I don’t think so. I got you a phial last month, are you out already?”
“Those aren’t cheap, honey. This is Hell, there aren’t many untouched around here. I’ll pick some up at the end of the month, but maybe ration them a bit better this time, ok, sweetheart?”
Four months passed quickly enough for Appara, her desk now littered with personal daggers of hers and a few poisonous plants sh found particularly fetching. Security tried to limit the number of blades she kept on hand, until she threatened to lace Franklin’s tea with asphodel if he tried to take them. He never quite forgave her for that, nor the bundle of it she placed just outside of his office door.
The ghoul, Chax, continued travelling between Hell and Earth. He left for a week every month, coming back covered in blood and claiming leisurely misconduct, vacation time, recreational immersion. He never failed to bring back a token for Appara, once a shrunken head from Brazil, another month the rifle used to assassinate Lincoln. Her father approved of the gifts but made it clear that Chax’ company was not welcome. Appara ignored her father on his more ornery days, doing her job as was expected, paging ‘Wendonai, your 2 o’clock is here to see you’.
Six months in and Appara was ready to murder anyone who set off that damn doorbell. The constant jingle and the pushy hellions it announced were near to driving her to insanity. Franklin, the werewolf in security, took a particular pleasure from her frustration and made sure to be stationed at the front desk on especially busy days at the Embassy. Chax was never far from her on those days, and her father had no idea how many murders were averted due to his presence. He took many a knife to his undead chest in an effort to stop her from disemboweling the legions of the underworld.
“Look, Mr. Sludge. I cannot approve your request to go topside for another year.”
“Appara, darling, what’s a little maiming between friends? No humans were involved this time, just approve of my request and we can put this nasty business behind us.”
“Mr. Sludge. I cannot approve anyone’s request. You need to see the Department of Waste Disposal and the Department of Human Affairs to get your request approved. I can tell you, though, that it will be denied as soon as Thelmar receives it, considering that you have another year-long restriction to the nether realms on file due to your inability to remain discrete. The director had to personally speak to the heads of three different top-side nations in an attempt to keep the peace between our realms. If I were you, Sir, I would make myself scarce until my probation ended. Good day.”
“Your daddy doesn’t scare me, little girl, and neither does your little bitch here. I will be going to the top this month, and you can either help me and keep your job, or deny my request and lose said job when I report you to your supervisor for causing a loyal patron undue distress and hassle.”
“You can damn sure try, but right now my ‘little bitch’ is going to have some fun with you while I apprise my superior of the situation. Have fun for me, Chax.”
Appara dialed Mrs. Blacktail’s extension to the sweet sound of Mr. Sludge’s wailing as Chax divested him of his many and useless limbs, gathering his bloody tears in a favorite mug of her’s.
“Excuse me, Mrs. Blacktail, but there’s been a disturbance in the foyer. Would you be ever so kind as to help me sort this mess out? No, there’s no need to call my father. I’m not in any danger.”
While speaking to her boss, Appara tossed a favorite knife of hers to Chax and watched as her favorite guard, Jugo, held Mr. Sludge still while her friend tried his hand at carving flesh. Mrs. Blacktail arrived soon after the call was ended, her opaque body gliding serenely over the blood-stained carpet of the entrance. She did not even glance at the spectacle before her, but nodded approvingly at Appara handling another patron amid such excitement.
“Hello, sweetheart. This morning hasn’t been too kind to you, has it?”
“No Ma’am. Mr. Sludge wanted me to disregard his probation for the third time this month. He resorted to threatening me today.”
“Oh dear. Thank goodness Chax was here, he’s such a good lad to take care of such nasty business for you. A lady never dirties her hands over such petty things.”
“I am very grateful for him being here. I can take care of myself, but I confess it is nice to not have to worry about sullying my hands with unpleasant bodily fluids today.”
“Too right, darling. Well, as your friend seems to have him well-reprimanded for his disrespect, I’ll just have Jugo transfer our guest to my office, we will have this sorted by the time your lunch hour finishes up. Take your young man out to eat, I’ll see to your duties while you’re enjoying yourselves.”
“Would you like anything brought back, Mrs. Blacktail?”
“That’s sweet of you to ask, but you know I don’t eat. Or drink. Or breathe. Or sleep. Don’t trouble yourself.”
“You’re a miracle worker, Ma’am. Thanks for sorting this out for me.”
“You just keep up the good work, yes?”
Another three months passed in a similar pattern for Appara and Chax and Mrs. Blacktail. Wendonai was at loose ends with the seemingly endless threats to his daughter and was begrudgingly thankful for Chax’ presence and interference during the more physical altercations. Appara took to keeping a dagger in hand whenever a customer so much as side-eyed her. She found a way to intimidate almost anyone itching for a fight, and she deterred a great many disturbances by doing so. Her coffee pot was always fresh during this time, she ran out of her virgin’s tears faster than ever. Chax eventually asked permission to see her after work for stress relief. Mrs. Blacktail had nothing but praise for Appara’s work ethic, but expressed concern for her mental state if something didn’t change.
“When did your daughter last request a day off?”
“Mhmm. And she’s been with me nine months now?”
“You know the answer to that. What do you want?”
“Shame that the poor girl’s father didn’t even bother to give her weekends off, like every other employee in the company is allowed.”
“You never take days off, Mrs. Blacktail. She’s your employee, she works when you do.”
“I am dead, Wendonai, and your daughter is not.”
“Is there a point to this meeting, Mrs. Blacktail?”
“Give Appara a week top side with that lovely young man of hers. Paid leave.”
“A week?! You want my blood-thirsty, stressed, overly antagonistic daughter and her plaything to remain unsupervised on Earth for a week?! You have lost your mind,”
“I would thank you kindly not to question my faculties, Sir, especially when I have your daughter’s best interests at heart.”
“They’re going to be alone. Together! Also, what would you do for a week with all of her work and yours?”
“Need I remind you that I am dead, Wendonai? I was doing her work and mine for three centuries before she came to me. I don’t have to sleep and the break has been nice, but there are too many hours in the day spent uselessly due to mine and Appara’s efficiency. Give her the time off, let Chax accompany her, and she will come back to you relaxed and thankful for her Daddy’s blessing and understanding of her needs.”
“I want you to know that I am unhappy with you Mrs. Blacktail.”
“Of course you are, dear.”
Just as Mrs. Blacktail predicted, Appara returned from her trip refreshed and at ease and mischievous. Chax followed through the portal with a smirk and an easy hand on Appara’s hip. He signed them in at Mrs. Blacktail’s station with a wink and settles their tab for services rendered. Appara left him to visit her father with a kiss to the ghoul’s cheek and a saucy sway of her hips. It had been a good trip.
“Hello, sweetheart, did you have fun?”
“Definitely. Chax knows how to entertain a girl.”
“I did not need to know that about your relationship.”
“You do realize that he wasn’t my first, right?”
“Darling, you are barely one hundred years old, can we agree not to give me a heart attack until you’re a thousand? Please?”
“Where is the fun in that?”
“Sometimes speaking to you is like speaking to your mother.”
“Well fuck you too, Daddy dearest.”
Her first year at the embassy passed relatively quietly after their trip. Chax kept his habit of bringing her expensive and wonderful drinks. She had taken to maintaining two days off a week, which she spent with Chax at his home in the second level. Wendonai was resigned to his daughter’s growing up, and while he mourned her dependence on him alone he was proud of the hellion she was becoming. Frank cheered obnoxiously when she announced her departure from the company, claiming a need for a career of a more violent bent. Chax’ family welcomed her with open arms into their own business, a leading venture in acquisitions.
