CPTNBandana

I am writing, please be reading

[cptnbandana]

Masterlist

Welcome! You can call me J, this is my masterlist where I'll be adding tags and links for my work as I post it.

Come join us every Monday night on twitch 7-10pm GMT:

www.twitch.tv/thebrothershoney

If you like what I do, here's my Patreon where I post extras like audio recordings of my game reviews, the after-show for streaming, early story pages, stuff like that:

patreon.com/user?u=14574064

Short stories: tagged #my writing

The Hackdaw Cypher: I'm playing the solo TTRPG "Be Like A Crow" and journalling it here! Who knows where it's going to go

All chapters tagged #The Hackdaw Cypher

Small Gods: People believe in things. Sometimes, that belief starts walking around. The old gods are long gone, but there are still strange things walking the streets of New York City and something wants them dead

The first draft of this is complete and a big old rewrite is in the works. So, I know

All chapters tagged #small-gods

Chapter 1: One Hell of a Morning

We Are Not Legends: Once, there were heroes. Figures of myth and legend who's deeds shaped the world in which they walked. They are long gone, but their spirits live on...

This one also has a first draft completed but I'm gonna leave it in the drawer for a while before I start redoing it

All chapters tagged #wearenotlegends

Game Reviews: tagged #gamereviews

In the dark days of early 2021, I decided to do the impossible! I decided to play every single game in my library that I had never played before. As any PC gamer can tell you, this task is not just daunting, but suicidal. However, it was lockdown and I had nothing else to do. After a couple of weeks of this, I realised that there was more I could do with this. Not only could I play all the games, I could also offer my opinions on them! I know a bit about game design, I play a fair few games, and I write? So, here are my reviews of games that are all probably well behind the years, but I thought this would be fun and might hang lanterns on some possible hidden gems. I hope you enjoy these critiques of games you've never heard of.

Random Shite: tagged #jtalks

Any old bs I post on here that doesn't fall into one of the above categories

[liache]

ok kids repeat after me

vinegar and bleach makes chlorine gas, which is highly toxic

ammonia and bleach makes chloramine, which is highly toxic

rubbing alcohol and bleach makes chloroform, which is highly toxic

hydrogen peroxide and vinegar makes peracetic/peroxyacetic acid, which can be highly corrosive

be careful about your cleaning products and dont get yourself injured or potentially killed ok

[gutsygills]

why it so dangerous to be clean

[catholic-aviator-deactivated201]

As someone who’s job is to handle chemicals like this, I need to state that this information is IMPORTANT. Plenty of people have accidentally injured or killed themselves at home because they didn’t know what kind of reaction certain substances have with one another. Play it safe and don’t mix chemicals.

[thegoodfoothousehold]

Also don’t use bleach to clean up urine it’ll create chloramine bc of the ammonia in it and you can give yourself chemical pnemonia that way

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Emily Wilson has inadvertently created a fascinating new way to categorize basically any visual media ever made

[hypokeimena]

image description: a cartesian plane with color-coded quadrants. the x-axis goes from 'sex scenes' to 'no sex scenes' and the y-axis goes from 'food looks good' to 'food looks horrible' /end description

[cptnbandana]

Huh. Almost every ghibli film is in the top right of this scale. I imagine implied sex scenes at least shift the pointer a little to the left

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Emily Wilson has inadvertently created a fascinating new way to categorize basically any visual media ever made

[hypokeimena]

image description: a cartesian plane with color-coded quadrants. the x-axis goes from 'sex scenes' to 'no sex scenes' and the y-axis goes from 'food looks good' to 'food looks horrible' /end description

[helenvaughans]

📢📢📢

[pokemonarchive]

Quagsire & Clodsire (2025) - TCG Pocket Backdrop Illustrator: HYOGONOSUKE

[cptnbandana]

My blissfully unaware, single brain celled, sons

[fox-bright]

Years before the covid pandemic began, author Naomi Kritzer wrote the charming, emotionally genuine short story "So Much Cooking," which was a pandemic log through the eyes of a cooking blog. The premise is that the author is a home cooking blogger raising her kids, and then a pandemic hits--and bit by bit she's feeding not only her own, but her sister's kids, some neighbors' kids, and so on, in a situation of pandemic lockdown and food shortages.

It's very good, and was prescient for a lot of the early days of the covid pandemic. I found myself returning to it often in the first couple of years because of how steadfast it was in its hopefulness.

Last year she wrote a novelette, "The Year Without Sunshine," which attacks a similar problem in a similar way; instead of pandemic, this one is about the aftereffects of a distant nuke or a massive volcano explosion (it doesn't say), which has churned a great deal of dust into the air, causing massive damage to society and agriculture. The story covers one neighborhood, pulling together to keep each other alive--not through violence, but through lawn potatoes and message pinboards and bicycle-powered oxygen concentrators.

I recommend both stories. They're uplifting in a way that a lot of what I see lately isn't. They're a bit of a panacea for constant fearmongering about intracommunity violence and grinding hatefulness. We can be good to each other, if we try.

[servantofclio]

These are both excellent stories, and I also heartily recommend her story "Better Living through Algorithms."

[mikkeneko]

[amaraqwolf]

Good news: if you’re currently laying around and not producing anything, you are a credit to your species.

[willow-wanderings]

It’s recently been found that even hive insects rest. Bees will play with colorful toys. Ants sleep for about 1 minute but they do it so frequently it amounts to a few hours per day. Even trees take breaks.

The only things that work without rest are machines; literally everything that lives requires rest.

EVERYTHING THAT LIVES REQUIRES REST. STOP JUDGING YOURSELF FOR NOT BEING A ROBOT.

[roach-works]

robots require very frequent breaks! welding machines generally have it programmed in that they can’t run so long they melt themselves. ive overseen two different manufacturing robots now and each of them were fragile, finicky idiots that require constant maintenance and repair. they pause in between moves, in between jobs. you’re always keeping an eye on programming errors, on coolant levels, on heat. you’re always pulling bits of scrap out of joints, sweeping up debris, washing off nozzles and untangling hoses. and even then it snaps a chain and takes a whole morning’s vacation.

even robots need downtime.

[cptnbandana]

Schedule maintenance for your equipment, or it will schedule it for you

[keatxu]

abandonware should be public domain. force companies to actively support and provide products if they don't wanna lose the rights to them

[omikronsoul]

Game companies hate emulation, but none of them seem to understand that a lot of us would just buy ROMs from them directly if we could. I don't want a fifth remake of Final Fantasy IV, I want to pay five bucks for the 3MB file you already made bank with thirty years ago. Nobody who wants to play something for the purpose of retro gaming is going to consider a $40 remake as the alternative option, and we're certainly not going to let the original dissappear. They're crying about opportunity cost for a product they're not even selling.

[justletmeremember]

op i know you're probably talking about like, video games, etc, but this is also critical for research science - my lab has so much abandonware, either because the company's out of business, or the company decided to not maintain it, and it's a fucking nightmare. we have two windows 95 computers that are CRITICAL for performing experiments/data analysis because the software needed is abandonware. one of the main roles for a guy in my lab is to maintain these little dinosaurs because if they go out, we lose access to ~20 years of raw data for research. part of why is that these companies also make their own file types, and make it difficult-to-impossible to convert those file types without their specific software. by habit, i convert all research files to more generic versions (txt, pdf, tif, etc) so that i minimize risk of losing my shit, but some stuff can't be converted.

for example, we have a microscope that is perfectly functional, good microscope, but its software is abandonware because the company refused to maintain it. the company is still in business, still makes essentially the exact same software, but they made all of the old tech incompatible with new software to force people to buy the new microscope tech. it would cost a quarter million dollars to replace this microscope. this perfectly good microscope.

so like, i know a lot of people look at the original post here and go "well op just wants old video games to play" (which is valid! games companies should not be able to push shit to abandonware and then close it off) but also this is critical for like. biomedical research. if y'all had any idea how much basic infrastructure built on science relies on shit that is technically abandonware, you would probably be horrified.

[jollysunflora]

#there is so much abandonware just...out there being used and carefully maintained#because nothing quite replicates the functionality

[crabussy]

hey. don’t cry. crush two cloves of garlic into a pot with a dollop of olive oil and stir until golden then add one can of crushed tomatoes a bit of balsamic vinegar half a tablespoon of brown sugar half a cup of grated parmesan cheese and stir for a few minutes adding a handful of fresh spinach until wilted and mix in pasta of your choice ok?

[crabussy]

PEACE AND LOVE!!!!!!!!

[midtowngay]

Over the last couple of years this has become my standard pasta recipe, and I can make it from memory. It’s always there when I want something quick and delicious and don’t want to order out. It’s the perfect base to add in some extras, too. Here are some I've used in various combinations, depending on what’s in the cupboard and fridge:

Knob of butter with the oil

Season with a little oregano, basil, crushed red pepper flakes, and black pepper

Generous splash of red wine that’s been lingering on the counter

Squeeze of tomato paste (tube kind)

Sliced mushrooms rescued from the back of the fridge

Half a block of cream cheese, cubed, stirred in ’til melted and blended in (at end)

But, you really don’t have to add any of these, because it’s just a great little recipe.

[polyamandhellaglam]

Polyamory is safe for work. Polyamory is safe for kids. Polyamory is safe for day time tv. Polyamory isn’t more sexual than any other relationship and it can be just as romantic, sweet, and healthy.

[evilwriter37]

Aggressively reblogs.

[daco-showman]

why can rockstar games institutionalise you for life like nikita kruschev for being autistic

[ivy-michaels]

He didn't steal 10 million dollars. They made that number up as a loss, they never fucking had it. Rockstar has spent more than a billion fucking dollars on GTA VI and will likely make billions more when it gets released.

Uber is a fucking shell game of a company designed to leech investor capital and output bootleg cabs.

Nvidia posted a profit in 2023 of $4.37 billion. This is like someone stealing less than a penny from me.

And they lock this kid in a prison hospital for LIFE?

Capitalism is disgusting.

[fuckblast]

Nobody should buy GTA til they free Arion Kurtaj

[ivy-michaels]

What with GTA VI going up for pre-order i'd just like to remind everyone that rockstar conspired with the UK government to lock an 18-year-old away for life for hacking them.

[cptnbandana]

Nobody should buy GTA VI until they free Arion Kurtaj AND admit to their massive amount of union-busting with full back-pay for all those affected

[tardis-shenanigans]

Now with the knowledge that tumblr is full of American Doctor Who fans I come to give you a present,

ALL Doctor Who episodes, both new who and old who are on Internet Archive!

Along with copies of various Doctor Who books and magazines as well as ALL the Torchwood magazines and both yearbooks!!

Here’s the link to all the episodes:

Doctor Who : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

The Doctor, a mysterious traveller in space and time, travels in his ship, the TARDIS. The TARDIS can take him and his companions anywhere i

[cptnbandana]

Aro Music!

Happy Pride everyone! As someone who is aromantic, I find myself getting a little tired about all the songs being about love and relationships and all that bollocks. SO

In no particular order, and with a slightly dodgy structure, here is a no way exhaustive list of modern(ish) music I can recommend that has pretty much no romance element to it. Please reblog and add your own! - 90% of everything Miracle of Sound has ever done, but special mentions for me go to -Kickback: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3Am8QQKy3Y -Gráinne Mhaol, Queen Of Pirates: https://youtu.be/iOafalF22kI?si=LmRnWF-CirqSxWXM -Neon Red: https://youtu.be/EhThww7Pgkg?si=639nK5AJejXbzQSm -Mojave Song: https://youtu.be/N9NPePCvnWY?si=AxrayCJ5-7qrTvwk -The Tale Of Cú Chulainn: https://youtu.be/XqyEADY_20Y?si=40GetkcJjrdx2Jv7

El Fusilado by Chumbawumba: https://youtu.be/lPVhWFbAO4E?si=QB60jCEgjO0bKDjn

At least the first half of Frank Turner's "No Man's Land" album (You're gonna have to google that one

Thatcher Fucked The Kids, again by Frank Turner: https://youtu.be/g1KZIAG9axQ?si=BLjm24kDLPeJ3Vt6 (Can't find an official one so we're getting some guy's recording of a live gig)

One Penny by Julian Moon: https://youtu.be/dTvKf7IcNOg?si=Cg5LsRC0syQTQfwq

A Cup of Coffee by Julian Moon: https://youtu.be/qrQN6eJxQ-k?si=Z07vAN5AI-TzZiXp

Art if for Amateurs by Jam Mechanics: https://youtu.be/bVkFIPL99Qs?si=hWV9rXDiBXibqnSi (Check out Bug Hunter and The Narcissist Cookbook for bunch more similar stuff)

Dawson's Christian by Vixy and Tony: https://youtu.be/PjxMieuRPe4?si=hhJdrycMOCPasxGj (Space sea shanty, what's not to love?!)

Hobo Rocket by Barns Courtney: https://youtu.be/iMct9474w7g?si=lMaR8qRgtVg4lIGv

[tlirsgender]

"You know what's harder than Getting Better? Living Like That" is just the thesis for my whole shit going on right now honestly. You know what's harder than doing my physical therapy? Hurting All The Time. You know what's harder than addressing my gender dysphoria? Hurting All The Time

[tlirsgender]

I'm Doing The Hard Thing and it's *easier* than how I was living before. If you make yourself feel better you will have more energy to spend on Getting Better. Nice inch nails - the upward spiral. Crawl out of your grave Thursday

[astraldemise]

theres too many pokemon games where you play as a kid whos full of life and full of potential. there needs to be a pokemon game where you play as a college dropout who lives in a shitty apartment

[astraldemise]

your starter pokemon are trubbish, rattata and glameow. which symbolise the trash you keep forgetting to take out, the rats living in your walls and the stray cat you keep trying to befriend but it keeps hissing at you.

[astraldemise]

[astraldemise]

you guys dont get it its not supposed to be dark and edgy its supposed to be living in a mundane setting and slowly rediscovering the wonder in the world by going on a journey with a magical trash bag that is your friend, its about love and recovery and coping with the stress of your adult life with your friend who is made of sentient garbage

[bedrock-to-buildheight]

I’ve never been so attached to literal trash before

[sudorm-rfslash]

[pokefuseme]

I am similarly attached to the sentient trash. Can't wait to take him on little adventures

[nomadiclegends]

[lelif]

on survival

-// @aridante // @orivu // @buzzkillgirls // ? // ? // richard siken// @cemeterything // moomin, tove jansson// @disenchanted-killjoy // isn't that enough, shawn mendes// @ prettytheyswag on twitter// @ coletyumuch on twitter// ? // ? // bird by bird, anne lamott// undertale// @strawberrycircuits