Jasper x depressed Human reader
Tbh I wrote this just to comfort myself it's almost 1:00am lol kill me /hj
Tw: sh mentions, Ed mentions, smoking,
You felt tired, really really fucking tired. Your entire body felt soar as fuck. You felt like you couldn't move... So you didn't. You just stayed there, on your couch, under a blanket as some weird as show Played in the background. You felt like you couldn't focus.
You just layed there, you looked to your phone and debated if you should call someone, but decided against it. I mean they all have there own stuff to bother with, plus it's not like they would actually pick up anyway.
Your brain brought back some memories, not happy ones. Specifically last week when you were hyperventilating at 1:00am, you couldn't even cry no matter how much you wanted too, you kept dragging the box cutter across your shoulder, not cutting yourself but just keeping the blade there.
You almost completely trashed 3 months. I mean it's not like anyone really knew about your habits, none of them knew that you used to hurt yourself, we'll technically you still do hurt yourself. But not with cutting anymore.
No you didn't do that anymore, no matter how persistent that "itch" became. No now you only smoked, which made you caugh a lot and made it difficult it walk and run long distances because you can never get enough air.
Now you simply don't have anything but a cracker for a week, and that simply just made you clumsy and tired, and also made you pass out while walking to the bathroom but that doesn't matter.
Now you simply punch your wall and bang rocks against your arm and hand. Your knuckles and arm have small dark purple bruises on them but it's fine. It's not self harm. Your still 3 months clean.
Okay no, stop lying to yourself. You aren't 3 months clean from self harm. No just from cutting. Stop lying.
You blinked, attempting to shake your head from your thoughts, you we're starving, your body felt so weak, your mouth felt dry and everything hurt.
You just curled up more into a ball on your couch, which has just become your impromptu bed for now.
Suddenly, your front door slammed open, we're you gonna die? Are you getting robbed? Are you gonna get shot a die. Good. Make it fucking fast jerk off.
"Oi y/n, what the fuck." Jasper said as She eyed your cocoon of blankets and sadness.
You let out a grumble in response as you buried your self under the covers more and more. You didn't want to do anything.
Heavy footsteps coming over to you, and a large hand moving away the blankets, you tried to pull them back but Jasper wouldn't let you.
"Leave me aloneeeeeee" you mumbled out as Jasper looked at you more, her eyes questioning but also a bit concerned.
"Y/n, no one has seen you in fucking weeks. People are getting fucking worried." she said as she stood in front of you.
"Oh cmon I'm fine just let me be-" you we're going to politely tell her to fuck off but she picked you up, she didn't even need both hands, just one.
Here you were, in her hand, she held you for a second before speaking.
"You feel oddly light. Humans arent supposed to feel that light." Jasper said as her voice darkend slightly.
"Jasp I'm fine really-" she cut you off again with rolling up your sleeve, there were your scars, to be put on display for everyone, but also the Skinnieness of your arm. It was fucking concerning.
Jasper sighed before setting you back on the couch, "don't fucking move, just... Wait here okay?" she said as she stalked off to the kitchen.
And so you waited. And as you waited your thoughts began to drift.
While Jasper was normally angry chaos, you and her had a specific dynamic. She would always be a bit more calm and caring around you for whatever reason, and you didn't feel pressured to be the chaotic fool who makes a fool of themselves for other people's happiness. If was a mutual understanding between the two of you.
Jasper came out with a plate, it had a sandwich on it, she placed it in front of you. "Eat it". She said simply. Jeez if only it was that easy.
You stared at the plate in front of you. While he's you we're hungry enough to the point it hurt you just couldn't bring yourself to eat it.
"Jasper... I cant.. -" you said softly hoping she wouldn't be angry at you.
Jasper sighed before turning your head to look at he before she spoke again. "Y/n I know that it's hard but I'm not stupid, humans aren't supposed to be that skinny, and you need food so you can be strong. Please."
So, with the gentle encouragement from jasper you picked up the sandwich in front of you and took a bite. You wanted to vomit it up already.
After about 45 minutes you finally finished it, and you were fucking sobbing hysterically. Jasper held you in her arms, constantly saying the words 'I'm sorry' over and over again. And jasper stayed there comforting you, and holding you.
An hour passed now, and you were finally a bit more calm. You were breathing now and you were still in Jasper's lap but neither of you minded.
Jasper hugged you closer to her body, being careful not to accidentally hurt you. "So..."
"So..." you said in response, neither of you were really sure how to continue this conversation, but one of you had too.
You decided it was going to be you, so you told jasper everything, you told her you fears, you told her your problems, you told her what has been crawling through your head.
And she stayed there, listening to every word. By the time you we're done talking she and you were wrapped in blankets and cuddled into each other on your bed.
She ran her fingers through your hair before speaking again.
"Listen, i know shit is hard for you right now, but itll get better. Everything will. No matter how hard shit is it can always get better. So you just need to keep trying, no matter what. I promise" she said as she pulled your body closer to hers.
You smiled and kisses her gem, a small gesture you did to show intamanicy.
And soon you drifted off to sleep as she kept you cradled and hugged in her arms, safe and loved.
