Teaching and lovin' it

Male. Gay. 24 year-old English teacher. This blog will focus on my everyday teacher life. Some posts will be funny, some will be angry, some will be happy. I will write about life as it is. IMPERFECT. I hope you enjoy my blog, or at least learn something from it. The purpose of writing this blog is to make people understand that being a teacher is not an easy task.

[crazyteacherlife]

Crazy shit at the end of the school year

Night school for adults. There's this kid, Ezequiel. That's his real name. I won't even bother making one up. He got a 41%F on my class. He always cut cut class and owes me a ton of papers. His girlfriend came to me today asking me what does he need to do to pass. (Please note that today I must turn in the grades to the office before 8pm.) So she came at 6:15pm. I gave her the instructions. I told her he can come here, take his tests and write the papers. She said thanks and went away. Ten minutes later game the school principal. She asked me to give this kid a change to redo his work so he can pass. Said that he is an athlete. Athlete my ass. She said that he's at a baseball game. It's raining outside. I wrote on a piece of paper all he needs to do to pass. I made my calculations. He might pass with 71%C This kid always cut my class and hanged out at the school gates smoking weed. He said he doesn't need a high school diploma, that he'll work at a farm. Kid, you will be fired within hours for being such a lazy brat. This is what society is breeding. Lord help us. And girl, get yourself another boyfriend.

[crazyteacherlife]

STRESS

Stress

I will express myself like I would do in a diary. I won’t write it on Facebook because frankly, nobody gives a shit.

I am a teacher and about to die. Yes, I am on finals week. It’s madness. In my three years of teaching, I’ve never felt so stressed. I had a car accident the day before yesterday. I have no car to go to work. I have to carpool. 

And students are no help at all. They boost my anxiety. I just want to scream like Elsa “FUCK IT ALL”!

Students just don’t get it. I have tests to grade. Irresponsible students’ parents asking if there’s a way to increase grades. Students asking the SAME stupid questions regarding their final exams after I’ve been explaining over and over again. 

The school newspaper is not printed yet because none of my edits are good enough to print.

I still haven’t made the Graduation scenery.

I must move out by the end of the month because I won’t have money to pay the rent this summer.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

At least I am in love with this awesome guy and he feels the same way and I am about to embark a wonderful journey and leave SINGLELAND!!

[crazyteacherlife]

My male students keep asking me to teach them how to style their hair. I recently got a new hair cut, just like Zac Efron and Zayn Malik. I left my beard and mustache grow. Girls love it, parents love, and even buys can't help but stare in fascination. I am a fashion model to follow. Today I shaved, and my students were shocked and disappointed. I guess it means I must let it grow again.

[crazyteacherlife]

Crazy parents be like...

I've been a teacher for some years and I've never been so insulted by a parent like I was today. During my professional hour this mom came by and wanted to talk to me. I accepted the invitation. She looked serious and angry. I was confused. I asked her who's mother was she, because I had never seen her in the whole year. Let's call her Jacob's mother, Janet. She started by saying how dissapointed she was. She considered my class disorganized, with no structure or pattern. That I was not consistant. That I blended in too much with the students. That I was disrespectful a few times with my students. That my test reviews were incomplete with no page references. Alas, she accused me of many educational atrosities. I cannot deny that I was nervous. I always maintained eye contact. Arms locked. Legs still. I gave her the chance to speak. I was outraged. I felt horrible. I felt insulted. She kept on and on for an hour. She even took part of a class period. Thank God the social worker noticed and came by to rescue me. I just didn't know how to stop this mother. She admitted her son's irresponsibility. However, that didn't stopped her from critisizing me and the school. She claimed that several parents were complaining also. I never hear such complaints. Not from a parent, not from the principal, not from anyone but this lady. I immediately went to the office, requested an emergency substitute teacher and spoke to the school principal. The principal rolled her eyes when I told her who was the parent. Apparently Janet has the reputation of doing this to at least one teacher every year. She even almost had a restraining order because she staled a pregnant teacher by her car until 6:00pm. I understant how worried she is about her son's grades. But I don't think she had the right to do this to me and abuse in this way. The assistant principal laughed and told me that I was iniciated. They adviced me to relax and not to worry. Some teachers came up to me to support me. I felt relieved. I admit I make some mistakes as a teacher but no one tells me how to run my classroom. I don't care if it is a private school. She isn't even paying because the kid has staff benefit from his dad you is a janitor. I learned one thing: to stand up for myself, not take any bullshit from anyone.

[crazyteacherlife]

Being a teacher is not an easy job. Not everybody appreciates it. Most of the students don't know the stress they put us with. We teachers work endless hours grading tests and planning lessons.

I remember hearing the stories of the great years when teachers were allowed to spank students. Today this is considered violence and child abuse. But back then teachers were respected.

Last night at night school I wrote on the board a few exercises of compound words. A student arrived late and asked if she had to copy that. I nodded. She looked at the board with a disgusted expression. I honestly wanted to slap her face. No joke. The board was barely written and her expression complaint really annoyed me.

Students are lazier. It's very rare to find a student that loves to read and write; a student that joins you in your inspiration as you teach a lesson.

[crazyteacherlife]

The Tenth Graders

I despise most of them. Probably because they think they own the school. This year marks the beginning of High School for the school I work at. Alongside them is the principal's son. I don't despise him, but some of his classmates can be pretty unpleasant.

Today the Spanish teacher went on a field trip with the eighth graders-thank God for that. Bless her. There was a substitute teacher for the tenth graders, since Spanish is their homeroom teacher. This sub has absolutely no control over these kids. They completed their assignments fairly quickly. As I walked by to the food kiosk, I could hear them shouting and screaming. It was like listening to kindergartners in teenage bodies. 

I stepped in and shouted:

"Tenth Graders, did you know that this isn't the only classroom that exists in this school? There are teachers trying to teach as you scream and shout like wild animals. Behave like the civilized human beings you are meant to be. I don't care if you finished your assignment early. You shall all behave like civilized students. Thank you."

A couple of students apologized and remained quiet.

They are lucky I am not their teacher. I would lower their self-esteem to the floor.

[crazyteacherlife]

My face when students shout instead of raising their hands or when they bring food inside the classroom.

Students: MISTER!!!

Me:

[crazyteacherlife]

When a student asks you if the title of the essay is OK after half an hour has passed and nothing else is written on his essay.

[crazyteacherlife]

Grading Book Reports

Last night my two best friends Joseph and Blanche came by to help grading a bunch of book reports. They now understand how much I suffer reading them. 

Most common mistakes: Run-on Sentences, Have/Has, There/Their. And many more.

Their personal opinions were just sad. Apparently they don't like the books they read. I don't impose specific books. Well sorry for encouraging reading.

I may not be the most perfect teacher but if I would want to self induce depression, I would read those reports.

[crazyteacherlife]

Lazy writers

Today in adult class I was teaching about biographies. I asked students to write five sentences answering the following question. Why do you think people write about their lives? Students were whining saying it was too much to write. Some wrote one or two sentences. Is too much to ask just five sentences? After all, I wad only asking their opinion. They are so narrow-minded.

[crazyteacherlife]

One of my best comebacks

Student # 1 is juggling his pencil case.

Me: Stop juggling, we are not in a circus.

Student # 2: Yeah, cuz that’s where you work.

Me: I don’t think anyone here works in a circus. And I don’t think you are here to hire anyone. Joining the circus is up to him, not you.

[crazyteacherlife]

Disrespectful Students

Disrespectful students. That’s when my cup tips over. And today’s winner is Sarah. This girl must have issues. She has demonstrated to really be a spoiled little brat. 

Today students were supposed to turned in their book reports. Students are required to print their written report or hand-write it on composition paper.  Sarah turned it in on notebook paper, claiming that her printer ran out of ink and that she didn’t have composition paper.

Please! Don’t tell me you couldn’t go to the local pharmacy and buy a packet of papers. I know you have the money because you are in a PRIVATE school. Your parents PAY for your education and school materials.

I told her that she could have ask a classmate for some sheets of paper or even ask me for some in advance. She then replied, “Well if you say you have paper, give me some then.”

You should’ve seen the look of my students when she sassed-mouthed me. I took a deep breath and handed her some sheets. “You talk to me like that again and you will be sorry. You better respect me. I don’t accept crappy work and I do not and will not take crap from anyone, even you.”

I referred her to the Social Worker and explained everything.

Enough said.

[crazyteacherlife]

7th grade

I teach 7th grade Writing. It's the first time this course has been offered at the school, which means I've had to create the Scope Sequence all by myself, plan everything from scratch, etc.

7th Grade it's a difficult stage. It's middle school. Puberty has begun, and boy, they are WILD. Lucky for me I'm not their homeroom teacher. I don't have a homeroom at all. Their HR teacher is the P.E./Health teacher. And she is a titan. I will call her Beyoncé, because she is as fabulous and intense as her. She's young, in her late twenties, a personal trainer also, very fit, dark skin tone. She's like a black Barbie. This woman has a tough personality. You mess with this bitch and she will eat you alive. She often gives me great advice to how to control these kids. 

Like any classroom, there are all sorts of students. I will start with the most annoying ones. There's Ana, a Percy Jackson freak. Wears glasses. very pretty face. She often throws me these annoying tantrums. She doesn't cry but she cusses a lot when I deny her things or correct her. She's a talented writer. Great imagination. But never leaves me alone.

And there's Gina. Bright student. but she is SO obnoxious!!! I wrote her an acrostic.

Girl that never leaves me alone. Intelligent but obnoxious. Never shuts up.  Always torture.

She loved it and wrote one for me too.

One would say that girls are well-behaved than boys, but that's not the case here. Boys are angels, except the usual exception of one or two.

There's this boy, Eddie, who's supposed to be in ninth grade. He's not mean or disrespectful but he seemed to have an un-diagnosed ADHD. He never seems to be focused. Never finishes his tests. Never follows instructions. Easily distracted. His grandma has taken him to see a psychologist. His diagnosis? He's fine. I told her to look for a second opinion. 

Overall, the 7th graders are very loud, crazy, obnoxious and a torture. But I can always manage. A beast inside me often comes out and scares them into deep silence. I don't scream or yell at them. I raise my voice and embarrass them by pointing out their silly behavior and how it makes them stupid. It sounds mean, but they often require a reality check.

They are talented writers that need proper guidance.

[crazyteacherlife]

Valentine's Day Drama

No, it's no theater drama. It's a teenage drama. Apparently I'm a pretty darn cool teacher, so cool that boys asked me to guard their Valentine presents in my storage closet. I was kind enough to lend my classroom for two boys that wanted to give a gift to their crushes. I served as a guard so no other students would peek and disturb. These two girls were so embarrassed that they only gave the boys a mini-second hug and stormed away. The boys seemed pretty satisfied.

There was this other girl that almost returned the gift. I reminded her that accepting gifts doesn't make a girl the boy's new girlfriend. It's common courtesy to accept the gift. This was Sarah, the same immature girl that kept throwing popcorn at me when we all went to see Catching Fire. She later sent me pictures of two other gifts she received. Somehow she found out my cellphone number. I was completely honest with her. I told her it was annoying to receive text messages from students. Specially when it comes to lame teenage rubbish.

I'm so cool that I bought Reese's chocolates and a picture of a Forever Alone Meme on a basket and handed chocolates to everybody.

Overall, I'd say it was a very good Valentine's Day

[crazyteacherlife]

8th grade

Even though my mayor is in Spanish, I teach English Literature to eighth graders. Last year I was a Spanish teacher at another school, which I will provide details some other time. This year I got a job at a private school. I teach Writing 7th grade, Literature 8th grade, and History 9th grade. What a mix, right?

I teach to two groups of eighth grade in the afternoon. Each group has around 23 students. It's a torture. Not just because they are teenagers, but it's mostly because those are the last two class periods. They are tired, exhausted, anxious to go home, and they are like little spawns. they won't shut up, they laugh at everything I saw. I can't be too serious, otherwise I look like the devil himself. I can't be too funny, otherwise I'll look like Jim Carrey.

They are great kids, but it's an age where hormones are RAGING. I took them to see The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, and I invited a girl FRIEND. So imagine how that went. There's this girl, Sarah, that kept throwing popcorn at me. I know kids are not mature but this girl was way over the line. She's just plain silly. I'll have to make a Valentine's Day entry about her pretty soon. 

I try my best to teach, but it's hard to make a lesson meaningful for them. Some lessons are very dynamic and fun. I call those the "lucky days". But some days they are so unbearable that I must get them into task by assigning them a lot of work to do in the classroom. I'm not the kind of teacher that always sticks to the books. I like sharing experiences with them, mine and theirs. They need to make connections. In literature I try to tell students that it's not about memorizing dates and authors; it's about being sensible to art and words. It's about expression and critical thinking. Teachers shouldn't tell students what to learn, but how and why. It's something I have to remind myself everyday.

[crazyteacherlife]

Introduction

Hello bloggers, 

Last night I was eating pizza at my friends' place. We were discussing how hilarious some of my Facebook posts can be. So my friend Beatrice suggested me to write a blog about all the crazy shit that I experience as a teacher. 

For obvious reasons all names will be changed. And I will not reveal where I live.

I've been a teacher for two years now. I earned a Bachelors Degree in Secondary Education Teaching in Spanish. I'm 24, gay, and single (knock on wood).

Crazy shit has happened to me: great moments, embarrassments, hilarious days, horrible days.

First of all, you've probably noticed that I wrote "gay". Yes. Some of you might understand the pressure I live in by not revealing my sexual orientation. I'm straight acting, so it doesn't give me away. I try not to lie about my life preferring not to reveal my personal details with other people, specially my students and fellow teachers. But you, my readers, will know pretty much anything I experience as a teacher. Though my homosexuality does not affect my professional life it has indeed defined me as a person, and that person is what I project to my students.

This blog will focus on my everyday teacher life. Some posts will be funny, some will be angry, some will be happy. I will write about life as it is. IMPERFECT. I hope you enjoy my blog, or at least learn something from it. The purpose of writing this blog is to make people understand that being a teacher is not an easy task.