shravya

just a shit ton of things

[catchymemes]

[vulphi]

[twitterlols]

[toastbutteregg]

LOOK AT HIS ANGELIC FACE HAVE MERCY

[twelves]

+

[draumboosky]

I had to pee really bad and o forgot that I had just sliced jalapeño peppers and the chef is looking nice at me weird because I’m pouring milk on a rag and running to the bathroom

[draumboosky]

My dick has been on fire for over an hour

[draumboosky]

I told my chef what happened and he was like “you only make that mistake about fourteen times”

[draumboosky]

He tells me this story about this time he had gotten out of a chili class in which he had been cutting habenjero peppers all class and he goes back to his dorm and starts finger blasting his girlfriend and she stars SCREECHING.

[draumboosky]

She he fukin SPRINTS to the dorm prep kitchen and gets a gallon of heavy cream and runs back to the room. He starts pouring this shit all over her Cooze right, and she’s like shoveling cream into her hole. And he’s freaking out. Like he’s so sure that this chick is don’t with him forever.

[draumboosky]

So they deal with this thing and the cream works and he’s like massaging it into her pussy for like a half an hour because you have to constantly soak it to nullify the habenjero oils or whatever. And she gets INTO IT.

[draumboosky]

She fucking CUMS

[draumboosky]

And my chef tells me this stupid ass story and looks me in the eye and says to me

“Nothing says I love you like a gallon of heavy cream in her pussy”

And I think that’s the best sentence I’ve ever heard in my entire life.

[deicide4122]

Yes good story but WHY IS IT IN LIKE 8 DIFFERENT PARTS DO YOU KNOW WHAT PARAGRAPHS ARE.

ITS THIS. YOU COULD HAVE DONE THIS.

[draumboosky]

SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE AT WORK AND CANT POST EVERYTHING AT ONE TIME FUCK OFF

[afroclusterfunk]

its serialized. he’s a modern day dickens

[mendes-shawn]

Iconic

[rihsusvevo]

stages of bottoming

[i-hate-chick-fil-a]

Racist white women after they tell you they have a Black boyfriend 

[suspend]

i think puberty works only for guys 

[memewhore]

[suspend]

i hope iphone 6 is a flip phone

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

[languages-georg-blog]

So I used to have a Russian friend who had a pretty thick accent and like a lot of Russians tended to eschew articles. She would say things like “Get in car.” And stuff.

Well one day this asshole who had been kind of tagging along with us asks her why she talks like that because it makes her sound dumb and I still remember her response word for word.

“Me? Dumb? Maybe in America you have to say get in THE car because you are so stupid that people might just get in random car, but in Russia we don’t need to say that. We just fucking know because we are not stupid.”

[annarcho-nicolesmith]

One time I was proof reading a paper for a Russian student. As I was correcting her paper with her, the many mistakes in her grammar started weighing on her. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, almost sobbing,

“In Russian I am so intelligent and clear. In English I am like [an] idiot”

Respect to anyone trying to master a foreign language. I get so sad thinking about that student.

[transpeter-deactivated20180411]

okay peter going “oh you’re using your made up name” to doctor strange isn’t just funny because peter is awkward it’s funny bc, no, doctor strange is really a doctor and his last name really is ‘strange’ and he had a random teenager in a spider-suit invalidate all of that and go “that’s clearly silly and fake”

[sleepallsummer]

thanks for explaining it because im 90% sure no one actually saw dr.strange

[justhanderspositive-deactivated]

I mean there weren’t any good reasons to see Dr. Strange

[cringetastic]

me: *studying for 15 minutes*

me: i can't do this anymore

[d-thewest-d]

[tvandfilm]

[toastbutteregg]

i want a cute boyfriend and $500,000

[spongebob-daily]