[de-shubbery-shrub]

So I’m starting to wonder, is owning a sword an asexual thing? Because I always see these “while you were experiencing sexual attraction, I studied the blade” ace memes and as an ace who owns multiple swords I need to know.

[crispypaperclipcollector]

Do foam swords count?

[de-shubbery-shrub]

I think.... I think I miss my friends. Like really miss them.... I’m out here sitting in the rain thinking “ya know what would make this even better?” And now I’m all sad because there not here and I want to hug them. I want this to be over. I actually WANT to give them a hug. And I can’t :(

[crispypaperclipcollector]

I'm going to hold you to that.

[fuckyeahbiguys]

[fuckyeahbiguys]

We’ve waited a year to reblog this. Happy Bread Anniversary!

Because it’s important to celebrate the little victories in life. 

[vinceaddams]

12 days left until the breadiversary, we’d better make sure we have the ingredients on hand!

[purrpleberrie]

It’s today!

[vinceaddams]

It’s today!!

[crispypaperclipcollector]

I know how to use Apple devices about as much as I know how to solve anything to AP Calculus AB.

Interpret that as you will.

[de-shubbery-shrub]

It’s a full moon, witches. Get out your crystals.

[i-have-no-gender-only-rage]

One of the funniest failures of US school system is the fact they are legally obligated to teach us all the states but they never actually show how big Alaska is like I have actually had teachers tell me that Texas is the biggest state. We have all just convinced ourselves that Alaska is that small shrunken down thing on most US maps and the people that know it's the largest state can almost never accurately describe how large it is.

For context here is a picture

[captainlordauditor]

what

[fuckthisbloganditscurses]

Happiness Will Come To You.

[12goblins]

when tho

[fuckthisbloganditscurses]

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

[wizardshark]

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!

[zigxortega]

[thebeakincarnate]

Today in posts that have not aged well

[miasmaesthetics]

Pro’s of being a Plague Doctor:

mask smell nice sniff sniff mmmm that goodass aromatic herbs bitch

leeches

get paid to poke w/ stick hell yeah babey living the dream

what’s under those robes? boy? girl? unqualified fruit seller? doesn’t matter there is no gender only Death

[just-shower-thoughts]

Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.

[blogtitletaken]

I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.

[castiel--for--king]

*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about

[sonneillonv-deactivated20220218]

*leans over and whispers back*  Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst

[nonlinear-nonsubjective]

consider the coconut

[bemusedlybespectacled]

this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”

[kascaban]

i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.

[heartgemsona]

listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them

[baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

This post is a journey

[virtuous-thing]

1 Reblog = 1 Respect

[dovewithscales]

I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.

[eldbitch-horror]

Zeus: *hits joint* okay so like. It’s gonna have a duck bill right. But an otter body okay? And then a beaver tail. It’s a mammal. But. It lays eggs!

Hades: wait wait dude. Give it. Give it poison. Make it poisonous

[dovewithscales]

Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits. Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses. Poseidon: It should be aquatic.

[hyratel]

I MEAN where’s the lie

[dovewithscales]

Demeter: … And where exactly do you expect me to put this? Everyone: Australia.

[hunterofartemisblog]

I love this

[softandsapphic]

ik this may seem pretty obvious but to young teen girls out there:

if you agree to date a boy and suddenly find yourself unable to look him in the eye or repulsed when he holds your hand or shrink away when he goes to hug you or hate texting/talking to/calling him or terrified by the thought that he might kiss you

you definitely don’t want to be with him. you may not want to be with a boy at all.

[ballerinabookworm]

If only someone had told me this before I had a boyfriend… I thought I felt nauseous after our first kiss because I was nervous, and that needing to practice kissing for it to feel natural was the way it was meant to go. (flash forward to the first girl I kissed and the fireworks and angel choir lol)

[bbtree]

also… dont agree to dates if ur not enthusiastic about the date or the person. dont feel obligated to touch kiss or fuck anyone at all.

[mylittleredgirl]

it makes me so happy to see posts like this and think that maybe a Young One will be spared years of distress.

it may just be This Boy. it might be you. it’s DEFINITELY not worth it.

[mxnrique]

[bi-dazai]

This guy got banned twice for some of this shit and came back and immediately did it again. hero

[metagnostic-deactivated20200809]

while you were hitting the juul, going to college, having casual sex, driving your car, and eating takeout food, i died horribly under mysterious circumstances in a national park. and my body was never found again

[prokopetz]

Concept: fairy tale where the wicked step-parent (who is of course also some sort of warlock) transforms the princess into a swan, as one does, but rather than running off to mope around in a lake and be beautifully tragic, the princess decides to stick around the palace and cause problems on purpose.

[poetical-irony]

untitled goose game 2

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

I am very drunk and listening to toto’s Africa

I’m thinking about watching Charlie and the chocolate factory, but the one from the 1970s where gene wilder is giving off heavy ‘fuck them kids’ energy and the lighting makes it look like the Great Depression

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

The newer Johnny Depp one sucked because he cared about their lives way too much and also had that haircut.

I don’t need a background story about a dentist dad to relate to willy wonka, I just need him to have crazy eyes okay, I am but a simple girl with simple needs

[achillesvevo-deactivated2020090]

The trickster god energy Gene Wilder gives off vs the Kooky Entrepeneur energy Johnny Depp gives off.

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

Exactly!!!!!

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

Nothing in the Johnny Depp one can match the dangerous authoritarian energy of what Gene Wilder is doing with his cane in this scene alone

the manic control of how he makes them walk down the stairs.

“if you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it” he says after nearly savagely kneecapping an 11 year old girl for trying to view it

this movie is incredible

[starlightandtears]

I’ve never seen this movie so I just experienced this for the first time and it terrifies me. The absolute boredom in his eyes combined with the mischief of his body language and the glittery, airy, detached way he sings the most pleasant, poetic words.

Nope.

[theconstellationsinyourskin]

this is a man trying to get rid of his horrifically unsafe factory the year before OSHA began

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

This is quite frankly the funniest comment on this post

[antique-scarecrow]

everyone seems to have a firm preference when it comes to these 2 adaptations but tbh they both gave me equal amounts of nightmares

[crispypaperclipcollector]

Betelgeuse is fading :(

[awakeby-awindow]

[de-shubbery-shrub]

Welp, technically being all three I guess I gotta

[mysharona1987]