Nerdology 101 @crouchingsavagehiddenhyneman - Tumblr Blog

emptyygallery

mrsjdavis

My comment:

AND BEHOLD. The new reigning Funniest Person On The Internet!

I am honored to have been the humble grain of sand that hath brought forth this PEARL!

parkchanwoohoo

I have one more day off this month and after that it's just working everyday till the holidays roll around babey

parkchanwoohoo

On the one hand I chose to work two jobs because of Debt and I can't bring myself to walk away from a supplemental paycheck even if I'm exhausted, but on the OTHER hand if Job 2 wanted to fire me I'd find that maybe a lil sexy? Just a teensy bit sensual, dare I even say erotique?

jaredpadaleckihateclub

i feel obligated to point out that destiel has only reached 100k fics on ao3 if you're logged into an account....

PLUS the 'favourite tag' option is only there if you're logged in

are you all seeing this???? heller king misha has an ao3 account y'all i bet he wrote the 100 000th fic

bemusedlybespectacled

filmnoirsbian

ariminiria

I can’t believe staff deleted all of their initial @/postplus blog posts and just pretended that the survey and the encouragement-of-illegal-fanfic-monetization backlash never happened. As if they don’t know how their own site works?? As if those now-deleted posts aren’t still floating around in 100,000 different reblog chains and even more mocking screenshots?? As if we, the gremlin userbase of this hellsite would ever forget how they initially approached the whole mess???

mnemonicpneumaticknife

They build castles in the sand and ask the sea to pay rent

pigeonriot

this reply is so fucking raw

gglilyallin-deactivated20250618

this image is slaughtering me

tiktokstowatch

piipstachio

TUMBLR PLEASE I WAS TRYING TO SHOW THIS

21stcenturytheythem

car drivers discourse…do u turn on your blinker in turn only lanes

21stcenturytheythem

some of you are objectively correct but not saying which ones yet

formerlymaustown

@yeahitsak

snidely-whipstache

toodrunktofindaurl

just some girlfriends doing girlfriends things

robotmango

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

awed-frog

@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.

robotmango

this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun

scarylullabies

I think I’ve reblogged this before, but “the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature” is fucking poetry

piranesiandtheother-deactivated

ninety nine???? thats IT????????? buddy here in the 7th circle of h*ck, California, we get up to at LEAST 110 degrees every single gosh darned summer. the bugs seek revenge. the sun wreaks havoc on the mere mortals it surveys. every plant has turned brown in its thirst for water. the very air itself has been sucked dry of every drip of moisture it ever had.

ninety nine degrees. you weak fool.

robotmango

well since you asked so politely, let’s talk about something very important vis a vis weather-hotness that you clearly ain’t ever heard of, called

humidity

oh alas, you say. oh papa, whatever shall i do, it is ever so hotte and drye in california. the very air hath been sucked of all its moisturey droplets and whatnot.* one hundredy and tennith desiccated degrees!

*(yo, drought is serious. i am pretty obviously not making fun of that.)

alright. let’s check it out. here’s a random california city, right about now:

thirty-two percent. and here’s a random mid-atlantic city located somewhere in the wet fleshy crease behind a demon’s knee*:

*(confession: i do not live in dc, but several years ago i spent three weeks steaming like a tinned ham in arlington in august. none of the pants i took with me could ever keep a crease again.)

huh! funny thing! “see, dc’s actually seven degrees COOLER,” you say, because you’ve obviously never gone outside and taken a deep lungful of wet sock trash air in your life. and now for added bliss, here’s what early wednesday morning’s gonna be like for these poor clowns:

that’s right! eighty-two percent humidity! the point at which showers no longer matter, because you’re all caught in God’s grease trap! just stressed human eels miserably slip slidin’ their way through a damp melty bathwater-flavored hellscape that feels like it’s actively sous viding their top layer of skin! a hundred thousand people packed into public transit breathing air that feels like deepthroating swamp thing! and you wanna talk to me about fuckin california!

[cue science voice]: human bodies cool through evaporation, a process by which the body sweats and sweet invisible angels towel us off, whisking away our unwanted moisture into the air and literally chilling us out. (it’s also why air conditioned air feels so fucking deliciously refreshing: it’s not just being cooled, it’s being conditioned, aka, dehumidified. it’s cool dry air.) but. if the air is already made out of fucking chowder and can’t absorb shit then guess what the fuck our bodies can’t do.

so is this weak fool gonna remain indoors and hydrated through this only medium-hot but fuckoff-humid season? you bet your dried out ass.

maximumsunshine

This is poetry.

lierdumoa

Here’s a handy calculator that tells you how hot a place “feels” depending on the level of humidity:

https://www.calculator.net/heat-index-calculator.html

nonasuch

i am pretty sure i reblogged this last summer but armpit weather is back so this post is too.

swagintherain

Harvard decided to rescind offers of acceptance to at leas 10 incoming youth for the class of 2021 after conducting an investigation that unfolded offensive messages these people posted on the social media, specifically on Facebook. They posted memes about rape, dead children, Holocaust as well as making racist jokes about Mexican children who were hypothetically hanged calling them “pinata time.”

The Ivy League university RESERVES the right to withdraw offers of acceptance if an “admitted student engages in behavior that brings into question his or her honesty, maturity, or moral character.”