:o)

this is not my beautiful circus... these is are not my beautiful monkeys

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[garchomp-ings]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

“im gonna put that old man in a situation” and then the old man is 35 and the situation is heterosexual marriage. get real and put werner herzog in a saw trap or stop wasting my time

[nathanierblog]

McCalls Pikachu Plush 2512 Sewing Pattern

This thing has been out of print for like, 26 years and some of us want to make chubby classic pikachu so uh... I figure it's okay to share bc it's kinda hard to get your hands on the remaining physical copies.

Bonus points: Aelith made some embroidery/applique files for it too

This is FREE, please don't pay for the pattern.

Only the EMBROIDERY is paid.

McCalls Pikachu Plush P462 Sewing Pattern - Redrawn for Archiving Purposes

Remade by AeilithArt so that we could use the pattern without like, destroying it. It's not exact since it's trace, but it's p much the same

[thehorizonmachine]

ttrpg seinfeld

[thehorizonmachine]

jerry pretends to understand the rules of shadowrun to impress his new girlfriend. elaine helps him fill out his character sheets but accidentally bases all the characters on famous terrorists she saw on the news. george starts a paid GM service but keeps finding ways to partykill his players so he doesn't have to work the full hour. kramer gets into chuubo's

[thehorizonmachine]

elaine tries to break up with her goth boyfriend by repeatedly killing his character in her vtm game but discovers that he finds it romantic. george gets into trouble when a botched kickstarter scam puts him on the hook to deliver a 5e licensed adaptation of the dictionary

[thehorizonmachine]

jerry joins a dream askew table to prove that he's a good roleplayer after his ex-girlfriend calls him a 'trad gamer'. kramer tries to get out of being contracted to write a supplement for an OSR game after he realizes that the creator of the game is racist

[stuckinapril]

do job interviewers know we’re all going to die one day

[perfect-puppy]

[capitaobarba79]

[inbabylontheywept]

my roommates car is named barff. it was originally bought from a dealership called garff, but then she tinkered with the g on the license plate thing so it looks like a b and now the car is just called barff.

my wife once asked our roomate where she was parked in a group chat. but she messed up the word "parked" and instead spelled it as "garked". and then me and my roommate just started referring to parking as garking because its just really fun to give my wife shit. its just part of the professional little brother playbook.

but also, at some point it stopped being ironic and we just started calling parking garking.

then today me and my wife were looking out the window and we saw our roommate struggling to do a three point turn into a parking space. and as fun as it is to give my wife shit its also really fun to give our roommate shit. so we ran outside and we ran around her car while chanting GARK THE BARFF. GARK THE BARFF. GARK THE BARFF. and then she did, eventually, gark the barff. theres no moral to this its just a surreal part of my life that i really enjoy. maybe tease people more? find your barff and gark it and never ever stop?

[inbabylontheywept]

@thicketscratches you get it

[clearlightwired]

some appear to believe that washing dishes is basically a ritual action, i.e. the dish reaches a "washed" state once you have performed the actions of dish washing, involving dish soap and sponge, and that your obligation ceases once you have done this, and not at the point at which the dish is actually clean.

[nonplusagon]

we are the daughters of the hamburgers you couldn't help

[kiwymelody]

Perpetually fascinated with the reasons behind who learns Fake Out, and how clear it is why That One Cat gets it

[beemovieerotica]

[nepofledgling]

My favorite banned terms on this site are "suicide prevention" and "safe sex"

[breadcunt]

Fuck nasty and kill yourself inmediately after

[dagny-hashtaggart-deactivated20]

Salmon male grindset

[cryptidcultist]

i have had more phone calls in the past few days than in my entire life.. between the unemployment office and workers comp and recruiters and interviews and my doctor and the pharmacy and my gfs mom calling me with updates because my gf is in the hospital i dont know how everyone who uses their phone as a phone does it

[thebonewitch]

At the end of the day, my thoughts on job hunting are that it's incredibly stupid how every fiber of our current socioeconomic structure is screaming that you MUST have a job and nothing else matters because you MUST be working and that's the only thing of true importance so never forget that you MUST have a job, and I'm like damn okay so I'd like a job, can I have one? And the answer is No

[cryptidcultist]

allow me to propose ANTI-GOLF a new sport that is the complete antithesis to the bullshit of regular golf. Its basically the same rules as golf only youre hucking giant heavy rocks instead of putting a ball around.

LOW ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT obviously this doesnt require a fancy expensive golf course that wastes water and land. The grass will get completely obliterated by Giant Heavy Rocks. Its played in the dirt or the sand or wherever else Giant Heavy Rocks live. doesnt destroy the environment cause the rocks were already there.

CHEAP AND NO ELITIST CLASSISM anyone can play. you dont have to be a rich white man or his wife. if you have access to Giant Heavy Rocks you can play. if you dont have Giant Heavy Rocks you can throw literally anything else

NO DUMB OUTFITS no little berets with pompoms or stupid pants you have to be in full PPE and steel toed boots because people are hucking Giant Heavy Rocks around

NO WEIRD TOURNAMENT VIBES complete silence is banned. everybody should be cheering or heckling the Giant Heavy Rock thrower at all times. if anti-golf even gets close to being as boring as regular golf everyone loses and goes home

let the animals have the country clubs back we got Giant Heavy Rocks to throw

[greebledgoblin]

honestly surprised i havent seen anyone on my dash talking abt what is being done to Lexi Love

[greebledgoblin]

in brief summary,

a trans woman, drag queen and recent contestant on drag race has lost all of her social media accounts, and hence multiple bookings, because some washed up actress successfully sued her for the rights to "Lexi Love" because its what she named her business of....making shitty AI generated images. at one point she flat out said she didnt want her "brand" tarnished by association with a trans woman with a history of survival sex work, homelessness, and drug use. this poor woman has been through enough in life, was clearly going through a lot while filming a reality tv show, and now only has access to social media under her deadname.

Drag Race’ Star Lexi Love Is Fighting an AI “Artist” for Her Drag Alias. Now She’s “Forced” to Use Her Deadname

Platforms like Cameo and social media sites like Facebook have removed the drag star's accounts as a result of claims from an AI artist and

FUCK SELENA SCOLA!!!!!!