The Ink-Well

Hello. Keelan here. (he/him|they/them)  

[sticky-smoothie]

I hate gamers…

[thyrell]

skyrim fans, grab your shouting

[bimbo-bear]

Pokemon fans, grab your balls

[thyrell]

this event is cancelled

[belovedgamers]

The BEST trope is when a character tells another “let’s run away together, we can leave all of this behind and start a new life somewhere” and gets rejected. And then the rest of the tragedy unfolds

[rhube]

Is Tumblr aware of Count Binface, current hope for our nation?

Let me explain:

Grotesque fascist grifter, Nigel Farage, is the leader of Reform, the racist far right party he created because UKIP got what it wanted (Brexit) and it sucked.

Having tried and failed to be an MP many times (but somehow getting more screentime than any Liberal Democrat or Green politician), he finally succeeded in the last election because people were so overwhelmingly pissed off with the Conservatives, and many right-wing people saw Reform as the new Conservative Party; partly because it's full of rejects from the Conservative Party.

Speculation: he doesn't really want to be an MP, he wants to be a fascist grifter. He's annoyed by suggestions he do things like Be In His Constituency and Serve His Constituents.

He's recently been caught having accepted a VERY large amount of money from some unsavory people that he insists was a totally legitimate 'donation' and not breaking any rules.

Only it did break the rules and it's very clear that it did and things are in motion to hold him to account.

To avoid this, he has resigned as an MP, saying this is a protest at his treatment by the 'establisment' (he is a rich fascist grifter, but he likes to cosplay as a Man of the People). This has triggered a by-election, in which he is standing, with the hope that the people of his constituency will either elect him in a resounding win, indicating they don't care that he's corrupt (having not heard everything the investigation is uncovering), or someone from Labour or the Conservatives will win and he can swan off to America, free to grift again because of what the 'establishment' did to him.

Only, all the major political parties have agreed not to stand, stating openly that this is an obvious stunt and they won't legitimise it. So if he doesn't win, he can't say it was because he was too much of a rebel and the Establishment went against him, he'll just be a loser, which doesn't play too well with the right-wingers he wants to grift. And if he does get back in the investigation will go forward without any kind of 'mandate' from his constituency buoying him up.

But. There is another option.

COUNT BINFACE IS RUNNING.

Count Binface is part of the grand British tradition of joke candidates who stand as a protest option. They usually don't get enough votes to get their deposit back (which is supposed to deter unserious people) but they don't care, because DEMOCRACY.

Of course, Count Binface has never won, but it is hilarious to see a completely serious pathetic fascist concede defeat while standing next to a man with a bin on his head to whom they are democratically equal.

But if nobody else is standing. And if enough people in Clacton-on-Sea are finally cheesed off enough with Farage not doing anything for them, there is just a chance that one of the funniest things to ever happen in politics will happen.

Imagine. Imagine for just a moment that the Grotesque Fascist not only loses, but loses to Count Binface.

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

Also, for reference, Farage resigning won't actually stop the investigation against him. The investigation will just be paused while the by-election is going on.

If he wins, the investigation will no longer be paused. It looks very likely that Farage will be found to have breached parliamentary disclosure rules which, considered the severity (5 million quid ain't nothing), could get Farage suspended from parliament.

And if Farage is suspended for 10 days or more, it could trigger a recall petition which can trigger a new by-election that Nigel would have to stand in again if he wants to keep his seat.

But if he loses, the investigation may be picked up again. Not being an MP does not mean the investigation can't continue. If it's considered appropriate, it will carry on.

I say this for anyone in Clacton-on-Sea who worries voting for the Count would let Nigel off scot-free. Farage does not have a get-out-of-jail-free-card for this investigation. Especially because there's at least another four Reform donations that were reported by bankers as suspicious.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

All very true lol

To clarify further, candidates like Count Binface, Lord Buckethead, etc will stand in elections as the political equivalent of some dangly shiny keys to distract toddlers - there are always people who want to protest vote, and also people who will do what they think is funniest. So, these guys will stand in constituencies where important candidates are running to mop up the idiot votes and help protect the integrity of the actual contest. This is why they run in the constituency where the incumbent prime minister stands.

Here, it's necessary because of the exceptionally weird situation described above

HOWEVER, I should stress that there are actually multiple candidates - no post I've seen on this subject on Tumblr this far seems to mention this, so I think everyone is coming away with the idea that it's Farage or Binface. Ad OP says, no MAJOR parties are standing - even the Tories are calling this "Farage's fake by-election" (insert the Good Place "Even Jason got it? This one hurts" meme). But, there are currently nine confirmed candidates! Let's take a look at the high quality the people of Clacton are being given:

Nigel Farage. See above. He is standing for Reform, the UK's main far-right party which is splintering into identical sounding smaller parties even as we speak

Count Binface, the political extra-terrestrial alter ego of comedian Jonathan David Harvey (his stand-up shows are currently selling the fuck out lol)

Reclaim, one of the splinters from Reform, are sending infamous washed-up racist actor and all round piece of shit Laurence Fox, a man who simply will not stop partaking of his favourite hobby, which is losing defamation lawsuits for calling gay men and drag queens paedophiles

The British Democratic Party, a splinter group founded by former National Front members from the British National Party who felt the BNP was getting too soft and left-wing, are sending Kai Stephens.

The Forward Party, a party so obscure they don't even have a Wikipedia page, are sending Adham Alkhatip. He, too, does not have a Wikipedia page

And now! The independents!

6. Piers Corbyn, a conspiracy theorist who thinks climate change and COVID are hoaxes and is friends with David Icke (and describes his ex-wife as a Jewess)

7. Rob Pownall, an anti-fox hunting campaigner who likes to stand for election while dressed as a fox

8. Ollie Granger, a television personality

9. Luke Worley, a reality TV guy who, unlike everyone else on this list, is actually from Clacton

Meanwhile, the Monster Raving Loony Party have stated that they intend to field a candidate. So between Binface, the fox guy and whoever they choose, we might actually get three separate candidates in fancy dress to watch Nigel Farage's weird temper tantrum

[hopepunk-humanity]

When it comes to faith in humanity I have to share an experience I will never forget.

It happened in a train, near noon in the middle of July in the south of France. Which for those familiar should tell you something about how hot it was. For those unfamiliar it's pretty damn hot particularly for people like yours truly who do not take heat well.

The train was packed, which did not help the heat. I had eaten but a handful of nuts in the morning, which was a bad decision. I didn't have a seat, which isn't necessarily an issue. Usually.

But the heat and the lack of food (mostly the heat) made a bad combination. The lightheadedness fell on me like an anvil. Sudden. Heavy. I felt nauseous which was truly the worst part because is there a worse place to puke than in a packed train? I didn't think so and I still don't.

People noticed. I don't know if it was the swaying or maybe I had gone visibly pale but three different people got up to give me their seat. Or four. I don't know, but it was a lot. The rules of politeness and manners don't apply when you're afraid you're gonna puke so I very gratefully took a seat.

A woman gave me a chocolate biscuit, she said she kept this sort of thing in her bag always because her son has diabetes. Two people offered me water but I had my own which I did drink. Two other people offered me more food. A man offered me vitamins. I hesitated and he gave me the package so I could check for myself it wasn't, like, drugs. I am mildly ashamed to say that I did not hesitate for reasons of a stranger giving me medicine but because I thought the orange-flavored vitamins might not mix super well with the chocolate biscuit I was eating. For my defense, sensory issues can be bad and I already wasn't feeling well. But I did learn my lesson about trusting strangers with medicine. This one was trustworthy, but still. Man who gave me vitamins, kudos to you for making sure I knew it wasn't drugs.

People asked me if I knew what was wrong. Two older people gently chastised me for not eating enough in this weather. Several asked where I as getting off and were visibly relieved when I said my stop was soon. They kept subtly checking on me trough the train ride and several people waved goodbye when I got off.

All those strangers coming together without a second's hesitation when I felt unwell. When you think about it, that's, like, a low bar. Obviously if someone visibly wasn't feeling well I would try to help. But the way they all moved together and didn't wait for someone else to offer a seat or food or water. The way they kept checking on me. That's what I want to be like.

And it's one of the experiences that makes me keep faith in humanity, so I thought this was the right place to share it.

[antivancorvo]

phm screenshot repaints ⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐 ⋆⭒˚.⋆

[exxos-von-steamboldt]

[combeferret]

capitalist polycule

[marxandtohfangirlsystem]

this is what people mean when they talk about unethical polyamory

[catasters]

[mmy7souvlaki]

i think everyone needs to see this

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

Big Tech’s Anti-Labor Playbook Has Come for Wikipedia

Big Tech’s Anti-Labor Playbook Has Come for Wikipedia

TLDR: In ten days last month, the Wikimedia Foundation fired the longtime lead developer of MediaWiki and disbanded the team whose entire…

TLDR: In ten days last month, the Wikimedia Foundation fired the longtime lead developer of MediaWiki and disbanded the team whose entire job was to listen to volunteers. Most of the people they fired were union organizers. Wikipedia’s editors are now threatening to strike in solidarity. The Foundation is sitting on $296 million in reserves and a freshly profitable AI revenue stream. This is a confrontation with global implications.

It has been suggested elsewhere that if you are a Wiki Foundation donor, it would be a good idea to email and explain that this kind of behaviour will lead to you withholding future donations.

[mikkeneko]

Thinking of cancelling your Wikipedia donation? Don’t. Read this first.

You’re right to be furious about the layoffs, but walking away sends exactly the wrong message.

"You hold more leverage than a cancellation could ever give you, and it works in the opposite direction. A donation that disappears is invisible. It shows up as one anonymous line in a spreadsheet, gets blamed on the economy or a bad fundraising email, and teaches the institution nothing.

"A donor who speaks up is much harder to wave off, because donors are handed a door that the Foundation’s own staff and volunteers aren’t. You should walk through that door instead of slipping out the back.

"In practice, that means writing to the Board of Trustees, whose job is to hold leadership to account, and telling them in your own words that your support has always been a matter of trust, and that trust depends on how an institution treats the people who build it.

"As a donor, the most direct way is to share your thoughts and expectations with [email protected]."

[maulscrafts]

^ embroidered a net onto the front pocket of these overalls

^ shrimp in there

[mobilis-in-mobili]

@teaboot we have been woefully ignorant of the possibilities

[teaboot]

I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever

[teaboot]

The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late

[teaboot]

For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral

[teaboot]

A little bit for Monica, she's my wife

A little bit for Erica, for her strife

My books all go to Rita, cause she reads

My greenhouse goes to Tina, she plants trees

The furniture is Sandra's, on my lawn

Jewelry for Mary, she can pawn

Ashes go to Jessica, that's my plan

A little bit of me inside a can (ah!)

[luobenn]

[anthonydoingstuff]

Kim Kittsuragi

[quecksilvereyes]

ahem.

🎤

i started another one.

[quecksilvereyes]

my fiance took some very cute pics of it, and i finished part 1 of 8

[quecksilvereyes]

part 2 was finished on sunday!

[quecksilvereyes]

part 3 is done :)

[quecksilvereyes]

part 4 from last week :)

[quecksilvereyes]

part 5! finally!

[quecksilvereyes]

part 6 :)

[quecksilvereyes]

part seveeeeen

unblocked so its wonky still

[quecksilvereyes]

part 8! only blocking left to do!

[quecksilvereyes]

blocked and finished :)

this is Virtue by Helen Shrimpton (crystalsandcrochet), you can find the pattern on Ravelry or on her website here:

Virtue pattern by Helen Shrimpton

Virtue Crochet Along 2022

https://crystalsandcrochet.com/product/introducing-virtue/

It requires blocking imo, because otherwise it looks a bit wobbly and the corners are wonky.

[quecksilvereyes]

i love knitting lace. my favourite part is how i dont know what it looks like until i'm done and it's blocked

[quecksilvereyes]

like this is just a crumpled tissue

[quecksilvereyes]

even more crumpled tissue

[quecksilvereyes]

my saviour (circular needles) has arrived

[quecksilvereyes]

its growing

[polyamandhellaglam]

Polyamory is safe for work. Polyamory is safe for kids. Polyamory is safe for day time tv. Polyamory isn’t more sexual than any other relationship and it can be just as romantic, sweet, and healthy.

[evilwriter37]

Aggressively reblogs.

[earhartsease]

and like any other relationship, polyamory can also be asexual, and aromantic

many kinds of love exist

[yoliedraws]

sketched kataang

[graffitinight]

When you try to talk about enshittification, it sounds like conspiracy theories. (I'm not crazy)

Amazon made their service worse, to force people to pay for Prime.

Nowadays, if you order from Amazon, there is a week long delay before your package is shipped. (on purpose)

I remember when orders would ship out the same day. (I remember - it was real)

YouTube didn't used to have ads. Now, ads play in the middle of videos. (it's worse than TV ever was)

The best can opener I have owned is over 40 years old. Modern ones just don't hold up as well. (The ones I bought new broke ages ago)

The bread machine my mom got for her wedding lasted 30 years. It's been replaced twice in the last 5 years. (How can you fuck this up?)

The cardboard tubes in the middle of toilet paper rolls have gotten larger. (This too?) Companies increasing the price of the product while selling you less. (REALLY?)

It sounds crazy. (it's the truth) When you talk about it, YOU sound crazy. (it's true)

Even when people believe you (do they really), all they can say is "it sucks". (it's too big) Because the problem is so big, so pervasive, what can we even DO about it???

To get the necessary laws written and passed, we need politicians, to get the politicians elected we need information campaigns, to fund campaigns we need money, and all the money is being hoarded by the people profiting from enshittification. (it sounds so fake)

So I talk about enshittification (it sounds crazy), so people don't forget that things have been made worse on purpose (it's true), even though I sound crazy. (maybe I am)

[grimboigio]

It's called planned obsolescence and it was invented when lightbulbs could still run for 1000 years. Enshittification is the web-specific (and more specifically social media) version of that.