Your-Local-Idiot

ass

[cvdusey]

Btw I am a miner and a minor and use he/him

[cvdusey]

Why don’t foot fetishists talk about bigfoot more often? I mean it’s literally their whole thing

[mimosa-sex-tea-people-contrsf]

Is there anything we could use to design a house for tumblr or is there just Minecraft?

[mimosa-sex-tea-people-contrsf]

Dammit I forgot about the sims, maybe that could work? I was wondering how many people we could give editing to and see how big a house we could make if everyone could add rooms but I don’t know how that would work since I’ve never played the sims

[cvdusey]

In terms of collaborative, same time building, no, the sims won’t work. The main one I can think of would be Minecraft in terms of more than like 4 people working at once. If you’re fine going 2D though, there are some drawing apps that should allow for a lot of people to all draw at once.

[pukicho]

I’d honestly be scared as fuck if a bunch of basic shapes came floating towards me. Yellow Prism. Red Sphere? Fuck that.

[javascript-official]

You are really gonna freak out when I tell you about the sun

[pukicho]

The Sun's fine as long as it stays over there

[cvdusey]

The sun actually gets closer and farther every year as the seasons change

[kosmogrl]

we got august this week

[cvdusey]

Why do you have my brother

[zac-oyama]

manic pixie dream grannie

[zac-oyama]

saw some people saying this was a great meme format, so have a blank one

[curiouslyhigh]

[feinseld]

i missed this post

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[zootycoon-archive]

i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck

[loseremo]

[syzygy-yzygy]

THE ORIGINAL? ON MY DASH

[this-too-too-sullied-flesh]

this post led to a series of events that had martin scorsese himself reacting to his alleged movie goncharov and it has less than 400k notes almost 3 years later?

[the-composite-doll]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[deconstructthesoup]

The Noise Boys all crowded in that phone booth and attempting to relay prompts has the same energy as a bunch of middle-school boys attempting to prank-call their friends at a sleepover and none of them can keep a straight face

[zootycoon-archive]

i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck

[loseremo]

[syzygy-yzygy]

THE ORIGINAL? ON MY DASH

[this-too-too-sullied-flesh]

this post led to a series of events that had martin scorsese himself reacting to his alleged movie goncharov and it has less than 400k notes almost 3 years later?

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Last night I dreamt that I watched all of LotR and everything was the same except Sauron was replaced by the penguins from Madagascar standing on top of Barad-Dur with a telescope and a sniper rifle.

[cvdusey]

I would be willing to watch LotR if it was this

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Last night I dreamt that I watched all of LotR and everything was the same except Sauron was replaced by the penguins from Madagascar standing on top of Barad-Dur with a telescope and a sniper rifle.

[homunculus-argument]

Besides the obvious like having financial security, being able to support your community and take care of friends and family, the whole "money doesn't bring happiness" bullshit is still bullshit because even if we only look at it from "buying frivolous trinkets" point of view, there's so many fun things I'd get myself commissioned just for shits and giggles.

For one, I'd get my dental layout scanned and then use the 3d model of my teeth to commission a giant pair of pincers where the cutters are replaced with a life-sized metal recreation of my teeth. I would use these to press bite marks on all sorts of things that a human being physically could not bite into, and emotionally would not want to.

For no other reason than to fuck with people. Just so they can see a very obviously human bite mark on something and wonder how the fuck did someone bite a goddamn brick wall, and why would anybody do that.

[andrewrnease]

I do feel like 'money can't buy happiness' has a good point somewhere, but it's such a hamfisted way of making it that it's just total crap. Like... okay: if you have a fundamentally joyless outlook on life and can't meaningfully connect to the people and world around you money won't fix it, and rich people can still be unhappy, but that isn't what the damn saying said.

Also, I remember there was a Monk episode where they did that tooth thing with a dog and that was the murder weapon.

[homunculus-argument]

"Money can't buy happiness" is false. The truth that it all boils down to is a completely different one:

No amount of money will save you from being a loser.

[homunculus-argument]

Hey what if dragons are a "no such thing as a fish" kind of situation?

The reason why they're so varied in appearance, but roughly similar in a handful of some very specific traits is a matter of covergent evolution, they're just creatures that all happened to end up as the ones to fill out the same ecological niche.

[relsage]

Oooh like crabs! and trees

[homunculus-argument]

Everything will eventually turn into a tree, a crab, or a dragon.

[notahorseindisguise]

ALSO..some more masturbation facts about me. theres a nonsexual scene in a book where a kid gets spanked for some reason. it was set in like the 40s and he was in a boarding school i forget. but i think i either misread the scene . or maybr the author actually did write this and theyre just fucking weird. and i thought the protag got hit (with like a ruler or something). on the penis instead of on the arse. and i remember my 11 year old brain being like. i wonder why i think that would feel good.

and so my first ever "experiment" with masturbation was. slapping my dick with a ruler. and when that felt good. my first ever way of masturbating was. stacking heavy books on my penis. and then hitting the top book. so that the force was distributed down the series of books. into my penis. and of COURSE it didnt work i was punching books into my dick but it laid a strong foundation for a great gooning career . hey everyone PLEASE pretend you didnt read this post

[mimosa-sex-tea-people-contrsf]

Why did I just find out from @lostinthewrongfandom that Woody from Toy Story’s full name is Woody Pride?????

[desmolbean404]

You just found out?? I just found out! What??

oh my god they're not kidding

[theofreakingbell]

This is still not as weird to me as the fact that Lightning McQueen’s first name is Montgomery

[mimosa-sex-tea-people-contrsf]

I’m sorry it’s what??

[theofreakingbell]

It's Montgomery. apparently

[mimosa-sex-tea-people-contrsf]

Every day you people find a new way to make me question why I downloaded this app

[wellcome-to-chaos]

Mim we are getting so many lore drops today between making a fictional character a whore of a man

[mimosa-sex-tea-people-contrsf]

He was already a whore in spirit we’re just making it real

[nonbinaryloser]

@i-cant-believe-its-not-queer

[i-cant-believe-its-not-queer]

love how we’re calling lightning McQueen a whore

[lostinthewrongfandom]

Oh, not him. Someone else.

[mimosa-sex-tea-people-contrsf]

Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round

Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)

Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)

Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)

Voting ended onJul 20

Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

[fwugradiation]

“And if you’ll give me 40% of the MOST POPULAR VOTE, I’ll give you my SPECIAL REWARD... A year’s supply of NON-GLOOBY SLIME!!! Never or BARELY used!!!” Tenna concluded his speech with a huge smile, jetting his hands up in double peace signs.

The crowd roared in confused enthusiasm as Tenna gave a gracious flurry of low-FPS bows, pausing only for the occasional stink-nose at his audience plants who weren’t throwing enough 3D roses.

Eventually, the room fell silent. It was Senshi’s turn to speak.

He puffed out his chest, took a long, sweeping look over the audience… and shook his head.

“I can see not all of you are eating properly.”

The crowd murmured with embarrassment.

“I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time to take the turkey out of your icebox. I have seen the ingenious technology with which your people store food... and I have also seen the waste which results from such convenience.

“The food you take had a life. Beasts grew fat on the grass of the field, plants grew from the sun’s rays, and mushrooms grew from minerals in the cracks of caves. And yet, it sits in your iceboxes, collecting moisture until it perishes.

“Eat what is given to you. Because its life will make you stronger, too.”

Without another word, Senshi left his podium and stepped away from the stage. The crowd murmured in confusion. “Is he really like that?” somebody said. “I only remember reblogging the photosets of him tripping and showing ass.”

--

Back in the Green Room, Tenna wrung his antennas nervously.

“Y-y-you think they liked me!? They HAD to!! I mean, I don’t know what Asgore was thinking, getting that weird haircut and running that food waste campaign, but… YOU thought I did good, didn’t you, Kris?”

Laios nodded aggressively, a streak of blue face paint peeling from his forehead.

“You did AMAZING, Tenna! By the way, now that we’ve seen all your insider campaign secrets, do you have any more videos of Susie? Especially her tail... If I could get a look at that, I could finally tell if she’s a dinosaur or --”

THWACK. Fake antlers butted Laios’s head.

“LAIOS?? Weren’t we dressed up to help SENSHI???” Marcille hissed, gesturing awkwardly with her hooves.

Suddenly, Tenna turned to the two adventurers.

“Hey, WAIT a second. SOMETHING’s not right here...”

Laios and Marcille held their breath.

“Where the heck are my POINTS!?”

Just then, the door opened. Chilchuck took one step into the room, whistling and holding a large bag.

Everyone turned to him.

Chilchuck paused, took a step backwards, and closed the door.

“CHILCHUCK!!!” yelled Tenna.

“How come Chilchuck got to stay Chilchuck!?” yelled Marcille at the same time.

--

Meanwhile, in outer space somewhere, some guy was making out with a rock.