Gavin- "My Smile Is Extinct" by Kane Strang (Songfic)
Characters- Unnamed girls, Gavin Reed, Tina Chen, (Mentions of) North
Warnings- Suicidal thoughts, brief dark humor, self hatred
Gavin was going to a party at Tina’s house and had given his girlfriend a ride also. He had gotten there about twenty minutes early however. Tina came out and greeted them.
“Hey, you’re early. Per usual.” Tina smiled.
Gavin smirked, saying “You know I’m the real party.” Tina laughed while his girlfriend giggled.
“You know since you're so early,” Tina started. Gavin groaned as he knew what was coming next. “You could help me set up.” Tina smiled as Gavin sighed.
“I’ll help. He can stay here and be lame.” His girlfriend got out of the car, rolling her eyes at Gavin.
“I am not lame, I am the best person you have ever met.” He said, mocking emotional hurt.
His girlfriend smiled while humming a “Sure.” He opened his mouth in humored shock.
“Ouch.” He leaned his seat back and before he knew it he had fallen asleep.
Gavin woke up to tapping on his window and his girlfriend looking in. He turned on the car so he could roll down the window and talk to her.
“Hey.” His girlfriend said, worry crossing her features soon after. He became concerned.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Gavin asked, fully alert now. He looked her over and noticed she was holding hands with someone but decided to mention it later.
“Well…” She said, looking away. Then she looked him right in the eye. “I’m breaking up with you.” He felt his heart shatter.
“Why? What happened?” He asked, feeling the beginning of a breakdown coming on.
“I just… met someone who’s better for me.” She said, then walked away. He was silent as he watched her walk away. He rolled the window up and started the car up fully. He pulled away from the curb and drove home. When he got to his house, his hands were shaking as he unlocked the door. When he finally got it open he walked in and slammed it shut. He let it loose then. Tears streaming down his cheeks in waterfalls as he dropped to his knees. They had been together for three years. Three years! All to throw it away the moment she meets someone new? He let out whines and whimpers as the tears dropped onto the floorboards of his hallway. He got up and ran into his room, picking a pillow up and pressing his face into it.
He began sobbing, words barely discernible as “Kill me now.” and “I want to die.” A few other sentences mixed in like “Here I am sandwiched between heaven and hell.” Then “I wouldn’t have gotten into the good one.” He chuckled. “And I still won't be living.” He then pulled the pillow away, eyes red and puffy. He wiped the tears away from his eyes and sniffled. He set the pillow back onto his bed and sat down. He looked at the picture on his bedside table of him and his, now ex, girlfriend. He picked it up and looked at it. He threw it down and, upon hearing the glass shatter, brought his feet up and flopped onto his side. He was tired from crying and wanted to sleep. As he closed his eyes his hoped he never woke up.
The next morning he opened his eyes and sighed.
“So much for not waking up.” He grumbled. He sat up and checked his phone. Six missed calls and twenty three texts from Tina, the last one ending with “I’m coming over”. He smiled, tiredly. He stood up and walked out. Then he was enveloped in a crushing hug.
“Oh my god, you had me so worried. I had no idea where you were, when I asked your girlfriend-” His smile dropped “She said you were still in your car, when I went out to check, you weren’t there and, and, and-” He smiled again, pushing Tina back.
“I’m fine, Ti.” He said and her shoulders relaxed.
“Arms?” She asked, concerned. He rolled up his sleeves and showed her his forearms. She ran her fingers over them and sighed, relieved.
“See? Fine.” He said, rolling his sleeves back down.
“Geez, I bet your girlfriend was freaking out-” She started and his gaze dropped to the floor.
Gavin cut in with a mundane “Ex-Girlfriend.” She stopped.
“What?” She asked, surprised.
“She broke up with me last night, that’s why I left.” He said, eyes pointed at the floor. Again he was hugged, this time much more gentle.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry. Did she say why?” Tina rubbed his back soothingly as he hugged her back.
“Apparently she met ‘someone better’ for her or some shit.” He mumbled. Tina scoffed.
“Yeah right. You’re one of the best people I’ve met, like you said.” He laughed at the quote from the night before. “To be honest, if I wasn’t dating North right now, I’d definitely be hitting on you everyday.” Gavin gave a sad chuckle and looked back up at Tina.
“God, I’m starving. We should go out to eat.” Gavin said, stretching. Tina threw her head back in a laugh.
“And you want me to pay?” Tina asked, Gavin gave her a knowing look in response.
“You already know the answer to that question.” The man said, putting on his shoes.
“You aren't gonna change?” Tina asked him, again, knowing the answer.
“Listen, it’s a fancy restaurant, this is the only somewhat fancy outfit I have.” He gestured at the outfit he was wearing. Tina had to give him credit, he knew how to dress. He was still adorning a black button-up shirt and the matching pants with a white tie and vest. “Gimme a break.” He began opening the door and Tina followed him out.
“We’re taking my car, I’m gonna mother you back from your sadness until you forget about that bitch.” Tina said and Gavin smiled.
When they got to the restaurant Gavin got out of the car, feeling a bit better. They had a good meal and he mostly forgot about his ex. Infact, he flirted with the waiter.
“May I take your order?” She asked.
“I don’t know about my order but you’ve already taken my heart.” He said, smiling at her. She was caught off guard and actually giggled a little.
“Alright, Mr. Smooth. Do you actually want something to eat or were you just so into my looks you had to pray I was your waiter to use that.” She asked, hand on her hip.
“I’m actually starving, can I get the uhhh…” He placed his order and after Tina asked for hers, the waiter left.
“You're moving on awfully quick.” Tina said, smiling at him.
“No, this is a strategy to hide my knowledge of the fact that no one will ever love me so I flirt because that’s the closest I’ll ever get.” He said, fake smile on his face.
“Oh my god, shut up. I love you, platonically of course.”
The waiter came back and placed their food down on the table and as she walked away Gavin stopped her.
“Excuse me, I’m a cop and I think you stole something of mine.” He said, she turned around.
“Oh? And what would that be?” She asked.
“My heart. But don’t worry, I won't put theft on your record. The only thing on your record would be a date with me.” He said, cocky grin showing up.
“Oh my god, you are just full of these, huh?” She asked, giggling again.
“I’m a natural.” He shrugged. She sighed and pulled out her notepad, writing her number on it before tearing it off. She handed it to Gavin and blew a kiss at him as she walked away. He sat down, shocked.
“I can’t believe that actually worked.” Tina said, mouth open.
Gavin smiled and said “Me neither.”
About 3 months later they’ve been dating for a few weeks, 3 at most and she was staying over for the night. They were happy together. Or at least Gavin thought they were.
He asks where she wants to eat and she asks “Have you heard of Iridescence?” He nods.
“Oh yeah, I’ve heard great things. We can eat there.” He calls and makes a reservation for 6:30, waiting until they have to leave by watching TV. When the time comes he changes into a short-sleeved, red, button-up shirt and some somewhat fancy, black pants. He tucks his shirt in and puts on a belt. When he comes out of the bathroom his girlfriend is in a black, knee-length dress with mesh just above the bottom, on the sleeve cuffs and under the collar. He smiles and walks toward her, putting his hands on her waist.
“You look good.” She says, putting her hands on his shoulders.
“And you the same.” He says, kissing her on the nose. He notices she doesn't giggle or crinkle her nose like she used to but instead just hums.
They get to the restaurant and sit down. This time he only flirted with his girlfriend but as soon as they finished she put her hand over Gavins across the table. His face immediately dropped. This was always part of the plan.
“Gavin, we need to talk.” He started to panic.
“What about?” He asks, nervously.
She sighed and said “I’ve met someone else. He’s actually really nice and he’s really good-looking.” She smiled at the last part and Gavin felt his heart break all over again. It felt like a knife was plunged straight through his chest and she was only twisting it deeper.
“Oh, alright. I guess I understand. I’ll drive you back, you can get your bag and, if you want, I can drive you back to your house.” He said, biting back voice cracks and tears.
“Thank you. I appreciate it, really.” She smiled genuinely and he missed her already.
From then on he knew his smile was extinct.
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