You @cynicaloutrage999 - Tumblr Blog

what the fuck is going on this year. january through june didnt happen. july is a distant memory. august and september were the longest months of my life. october ended in 5 seconds. why is november here already this isn’t right

karmiccollector-deactivated2024

It's the season erosion from the climate crisis, combined with a hyperindividualistic and stress-bound society. It warps your sense of time.

b0nkcreat

awesome. how do i stop all that though

roychewtoy

my watery friend... are you too brushed with the pattern of the dappled light...?

anthropoetics

kinder than man, athea davis

wordsfromwise

wetheurban

doggosource

really-fucked-up-stimboards

explosions, but like really low res.

All gifs made by me :>

really-fucked-up-stimboards

stimboard for getting trampled by a horse perhaps

I’ve actually been trampled by a horse so I took from my own experience to make this :)

really-fucked-up-stimboards

falling down a flight of stairs stimboard ?

1tzzbr1ght-deactivated20240203

Dsaf stimbords coz fuck you.

austim

Scrub Daddy vs. Liquid Nitrogen

(or a Scrub Daddy being hit with a mallet when it’s hot, cold, frozen from dry ice, and frozen from liquid nitrogen)

youaremysunshiness

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, what is the greatest lesson of them all?

At the beginning of my spiritual journey, I learned that every relationship we have in our lives regardless of whether it is platonic, romantic, or familial, acts as a direct reflection of ourselves. Everyone in our lives mirrors back to us something about ourselves that is either positive or negative because every relationship teaches us a lesson. Otherwise, what is the point of having human connection if we cannot learn and grow from each other?

Having this perspective is what truly changed my outlook on life and relationships and helped me take back a lot of my power. For so many years, I blamed other people for my problems and my unhappiness. I was mistreated by men pretty terribly and I couldn't understand why I kept attracting the same type of guy who just wanted to use me for sex when I gave them my love. I had this victim mentality where I kept allowing myself to be treated that way.

Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to make excuses for those men or shift responsibility away from their choices and their actions. No one deserves to be treated that way. No one goes into a toxic relationship actively allowing themselves to be abused or mistreated. No one asks for that and no one deserves it.

In Perks of Being a Wallflower, Sam learns that her boyfriend cheated on her and she asks, "Why do I and everyone I love pick people who treat us like we're nothing?"

Charlie responds, "We accept the love we think we deserve."

I feel this quote is so revealing when it comes to understanding relationships on a subconscious level. When we have low self-esteem, we naturally attract people who reflect those wounds back to us. When it came to my experiences, I was subconsciously attracted to men who kept mirroring to me this wound that I was overlooking. I felt like I wasn't enough, so I kept settling for people who kept affirming this belief I had in myself. I kept falling for people who kept showing me how I felt about myself. I felt I wasn't good enough, so I kept attracting people who treated me like I wasn't good enough. Yes, I had people in my life who were healthy and saw my worth, but I still naturally put so much weight on those who didn't see my worth because I couldn't see it in myself. I wanted so desperately to have these people see my worth, to make myself feel worthy, but I was only ever meant to see that worthiness in myself. I couldn't depend on others to give me what I needed to give myself.

They could never truly give that to me because even the healthy people in my life who saw my worth tried to get me to see it, but I refused to see it myself. My mother always tried to coax me out of these toxic connections, but I never listened because I was searching for something outside of myself. I never thought I could find the love and happiness inside of myself. I thought it was impossible. We are taught to base our entire lives on others' opinions and perceptions of reality, when it's not healthy. It's when we learn to form a relationship with ourselves that we discover who we truly are, what we need, and what we truly desire.

When I was in a dark place, I met someone who became a good friend and spiritual mentor to me. She pulled me out of that dark place and guided me towards finding myself. She opened my eyes to the concept, that everyone in our lives is a mirror reflection of our relationship with ourselves, and we can use this as a tool to heal our unhealthy patterns. By observing the people in our lives and how they trigger our wounds, we start to understand ourselves better. This is not to shift the blame onto ourselves or to be overly critical about ourselves, but to practice self-compassion. This helped me take back a lot of the power that I gave to other people and gave me a safe place to heal myself with love, and with time, healthier friends came into my life.

Pain is never a punishment. It is just a signal, direct communication from your body, that you have something to heal, and that's okay. We are always healing and growing, but there are some who choose not to and they project their issues onto other people. As we heal and grow, people will either choose to heal and grow with us or fall away naturally, and it's all for the highest good. Everyone also heals within their own time, so please be patient with yourself and always feel your feelings. Do not judge yourself so harshly. Simply observe and choose to heal it. We can also learn and grow through love, acceptance, and compassion for others. The more we try to understand ourselves and others, the more enlightened we become.