Hi all, I wrote a chunky analysis about Iris Wen, going over her affection points, "???" stat, epilogue, and her romance with Selene. If you're interested in understanding her character and story more deeply, here it is!
ask and ye shall receive:
When I write in Japanese I usually also throw it in google translate to double check that I'm not using the wrong kanji by mistake, and two years ago it gave me very dry and literal translations.
I was doing it today and noticed it had a pretty strong voice added to the output
For reference, to give a dry translation I would put:
Lately I'm into in Hanafuda. Nobody seems to know anything about it here, so they probably wouldn't understand my brilliant jokes. I guess you guys will never be able to understand "Mister November and the Scary Cave".
I have a fluent friend who is able to check my work for me and give me tips on hitting the correct tone (I was going for a comically casual feeling), so I'm confident that I'm expressing the feeling I'm intending. While Google is also hitting the same emotion, I really don't like knowing that it's assigning tone in the first place.
To check if it was editorializing based on informal grammatical choices, I formal'd up the writing to be more polite and remove any non-standard vocabulary.
I'm just like... what is anyone who is translating what I'm thinking into their own language going to think when a translation app decides that it knows my intended tone? When online communication is already so complicated and nuanced? I'm a non-native so I'm spending ages agonizing over 117 characters, but when I'm chatting in English I'm not being so deliberate. How likely is it that tools that 'naturalize' are going to make choices that don't reflect reality and lead to insulting misunderstandings?
I spoke with an English learner just yesterday who thought they were being bullied (they were not, the commenter in question was just excitedly infodumping about sociology) because something was lost in translation, and I wonder if it's because of tools making choices like this.
I'm just a luddite I don't trust stuff like this. stinks of ai asking me if it can rerwrite my email in a more quirky style.
Pairing: Iris Wen/Selene Yan
Words: 1,945
Rating: T
AO3 Mirror: [Chapter 1]
The air is sharp and crisp against your face when you step outside of the karaoke bar. As with all winter evenings, the cold takes little time biting into your skin, but it's a refreshing sort of sting after a whole night of drinking. Sobering, even. You need to cool down and remain levelheaded, especially around her.
Selene shivers next to you, crossing her arms and rubbing her own shoulders in an attempt to generate warmth. She's wearing a new jacket tonight: a pink suede coat with faux-shearling trim that you'd picked out for her a few weeks ago, back when it was still weather appropriate. It's cute, with little pom pom strings on either side of the hood, but clearly it does little to insulate her against the chill with the way she pulls it tighter across her chest.
"It's freezing," she complains, sidling up next to you and looping her arms around yours.
Your heart jumps at the casual physical contact, the touch adding fuel to the heat in your cheeks that are already toasty from drinking.
"Perhaps you could have brought a warmer jacket?" you tease, swallowing the lump in your throat.
Walking home together after Friday night karaoke with coworkers has become a regular monthly occurrence. What's less regular is how close and touchy she's been with you lately. Choosing to sit next to you at lunch, brushing fingers when you pass documents to each other. Hugging after a casual outing.
Though perhaps the most egregious of all is how it's escalated tonight: how, at the karaoke bar, she'd leaned her head on your shoulder after complaining about a spell of dizziness. Then later, the way she'd placed a firm hand on your thigh as you ordered another martini from the server. It'd been a request at the behest of one of your teammates, but Selene had squeezed your thigh and sent a pointed look your way—a warning not to overdrink.
And now, Selene's all but wrapping herself around you, clinging onto you like she's—
"You're warm, so you'll have to do," Selene says, not meeting your eyes.
You stare at her bemusedly. "Aren't you always complaining that I'm cold?"
Selene scoffs like you've just said something ridiculous. "Well, right now you're warm," she insists, tightening her hold around your arm, and that's that.
You can only hope she can't read your mind, or else she would be able to tell your heart is threatening to from jump out of your chest. It's taking all of your willpower not to look down at your entwined arms and bring to attention how nervous you are. If you didn't know any better, you would have chalked her behavior up to mere friendliness. Even though you're not prone to such platonic skinship yourself, it's not uncommon for girls to hang onto each other or even hold hands. You're certain Selene has done so with her other friends before.
Except—you know Selene. Much too well. As your scorned ex-girlfriend, she hasn't made herself shy showing her disdain toward you in the past, spurning your every advance and turning her nose up at your invitations to take her out on dates. As is her right, of course. You'd never expected reconciliation to be easy, especially after what you did. Back then, she never would have entertained being in your vicinity if she could help it.
But lately you've noticed a change in her attitude toward you. How she looks at you, how her disgruntled glowers have shifted into fleeting, pensive glances whenever she thinks you don't notice. You're not blind. Somewhere deep down, she still feels something for you. And that something now, combined with a lack of inhibition thanks to a night of drinks, is making her do things she wouldn't normally do. Like nuzzle into you for warmth.
She's not sober, you remind yourself. Back at the karaoke bar, she'd been tipsy enough to sing a few songs when normally she'd tap out after just one and pass the mic over to Megan. Right now she's only acting on impulse. Alcohol makes her careless. It makes her forget that she's still mad at you underneath it all, despite you being friends again.
If you didn't like the attention so much, perhaps you would have scolded her for drinking so much. You should. But you're selfish and cowardly, so you won't. You would rather bask in the unearned affection. It's more than you deserve, but you've never been one to deny things freely given. Especially things you like.
Truthfully, you're grateful for what you have, what she's offered you. Forgiveness; an odd, tentative friendship; and a chance to stay by her side. You couldn't hope to ask for more. The last time you did, she'd firmly shot you down, and you know not to chance it again. Better to prune the affection blossoming in your chest before it grows thorns and hurts you both.
So, instead of giving into the urge to reach down and take her hand, you shove your hands in your pockets.
Selene fills the air with chatter about various topics—the latest xianxia novel she's been reading, gossip about coworkers, a new recipe she's been meaning to try. You're content just to listen to her talk. The sound of her voice soothes you, and in a strange way it calms the racing of your troubled heart.
"Ah, that's right—how did your experiment with that mapo tofu turn out?" you ask, recalling a text she'd sent you all those months ago, back when you two were still dating.
Her steps slow to a stop. Curious, you look down at her and find her brows knitted.
"You remember that?" she asks, voice soft.
"I do," you say, swallowing the urge to admit you've read and re-read every text she'd sent you. Once, as they came in during inopportune moments while you were busy. Then obsessively, over and over again, after the breakup. Random little details that would happen throughout her day. Things she saw that reminded her of you. Topics she wanted to talk about when you had free time. You've practically memorized it all by now, fantasizing about how you would have responded.
"Hm." She looks back at you, eyes lingering on your face like she's studying you, contemplating what you've just said. You know she's working through the implications of it, of your words unspoken. Her perceptiveness has always scared you.
In the silence between you, there's not much to do but meet her searching gaze. Under the warm incandescent glow of the streetlamps, you can see her face clearly—the gentle flush on her cheeks, the sheen of pink lip gloss on her lips. She's cute. But very frustrating. Nosy. Meddlesome. In times like these, you struggle to remind yourself you're not allowed to reach out and pull her close toward you, to tease her as you used to whenever she asked too many prying questions. Anything to make her stop trying to figure you out.
At any rate, what good would it do to read into your words? She's already turned you down.
Then, mercifully, Selene turns forward and keeps walking.
"Oh, it was awful," she says. "Turned out way too watery."
With Selene's apartment being only a few blocks down, it doesn't take long to reach the front of her apartment building. This is a walk in which you've accompanied her many times before, but it's different this time, with her pressing up so closely against you that you can even smell the sweet scent of fruity liquor mixing with her perfume. The aroma makes you heady despite the frigid air. Makes you want to pull her in, sink into her warmth, and drink in all the sweetness she can offer. But still, your hands remain steadfastly buried in your pockets.
Selene lets go of your arm (finally? unfortunately?). She turns toward you, feet shuffling in place. "Do you… want to come inside? Maybe rest up a bit before heading back?"
Your eyebrows rise. You can't even begin to contain the surprise in your expression. You haven't been inside her apartment since you two were dating, and she's never offered to invite you inside since the breakup.
When you remain silent for a breath too long, she continues, hastily, "I could get you some water, so you can sober up, or"—she starts tugging at the drawstrings on her jacket—"or you could even stay the night. I still have some your stuff here, and I'm pretty sure there's a spare pair of pajamas that you left. It's getting late and it's unsafe walking back home alone after you've been drinking."
You can imagine all too vividly how it will go if you take her up on her offer. The moment you walk inside her apartment is the moment all of your inhibitions will fly out of the window. What separates you from pinning her to a wall and claiming her right here and now is quite literally just that one door.
You could push the blame onto her if she gets angry. Could even accuse her of being cruel, because surely she knows how you feel about her. Surely she's not so naive that she doesn't understand the implications of inviting an ex over after the both of you are very much not sober. Does she expect you to behave when she's offering herself on a silver platter?
"Iris?"
You blink, as if broken from a spell.
… No, that isn't fair. That line of thinking is dangerous. She's inviting you inside because she trusts you and cares about you. Nothing more. You can't betray her trust. Not after you've worked so hard just to be her friend again.
How ironic. How little she knows that it's actually much safer if you don't go inside.
You muster up a smile. "That's sweet of you, but I should make my way back."
Selene frowns. "Are you sure? I mean—"
"I'm sure," you insist firmly, before you can change your mind. Your fingers start pulling tight onto threads lining the fabric inside your pockets.
"Oh, okay. Um, be safe then." She steps backward, her lips twisting and pursing before they finally settle on a smile. "Text me when you get back?"
You're not so dense that you can't tell she's disappointed by your answer. But again, she's not sober. Not being cautious. Not thinking about how, if given the opportunity, you'll ruin whatever precarious friendship you've built together. Not realizing that in the aftermath of that, she'll be upset with you. Any distance you create is for the best.
"I will," you promise.
She nods, then rummages through her bag to find her keys, and you take that as your cue to leave.
As you make your way down the walkway leading to the apartment, you can hear the telltale sound of a lock being opened. In just a moment, Selene will be inside the lobby, and you won't be able to see her again for the rest of the weekend.
Because you can't help yourself, you spin around and call out to her again:
"And Selene?"
She perks up, turning toward you, her body still only halfway through the door. There's a glimmer of something that looks like hope in her eyes.
"Yeah?"
You smile at her. "Thank you for holding onto my things. I promise I'll pick it up eventually."
Without waiting for a response, you descend the stairs and press your palm to your racing heart, willing it to stop beating so fast for a girl you have no right to be with again.
everyone in the notes we are all holding hands. everyone who hasnt worked on a wip in weeks or months or years, its okay. we are going slow but we are going
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YOU 🫵 can amass a friend group of childless people in their 30s as long as you pull from these 3 demographics
Queer freaks from the internet
Highly-educated weird women
Gamer men who became adjusted and compassionate in their 20s but still are not comfortable recognizing this in themselves so they’re putting off dating in order to play the horse girl gacha game
I wish kinky sex ed wasn't so stigmatized even among left-leaning "sex positive" circles. Everyone's all "uwu I'm a sub I'll do anything you ask" okay mommy wants you to read The New Bottoming Book so you learn how to sub without hurting yourself since your sex ed up to this point is porn and your ex boyfriend Jared who liked to choke you incorrectly
I’m so glad you asked! Let me list off what I’ve got for you:
Books I personally recommend:
- The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book, by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
If you’re having kinky sex at all, you need to read at least one of these two books. Point blank. They’ll teach you the very basics of negotiating properly (which is critical!), and help you identify what you are and aren’t into.
- Mindfucking Mindfully, by Sir Ezra
Where this book really shines isn’t actually in helping you “mindfuck” people, it’s in taking a close look at how to do so ethically. It’s a great answer to the question “how do I get someone to consent to something and still surprise and shock them with it?”
- Real Service by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny
This is a slightly niche pick but there simply isn’t a better book on the subject. It’s written from a 24/7 M/s perspective, which is not what I do, but the book itself is an indispensable guide to giving and receiving service. The phrase “if the Master doesn’t want it, it isn’t service” will be burned into my psyche for quite some time. I love this book a lot. Maybe my favorite out of all of these.
- Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation, by Princess Kali
This one’s high on my reading list; I’ve heard it recommended by a number of people whose opinions on these things I trust.
- Pretty Much Anything Midori Has Ever Done
Midori is a great resource for this stuff - I haven’t personally read much of her work, but she’s a well known sex educator and great at what she does. She’s known for bondage, but has a lot of range beyond that.
- This Negotiations Worksheet from Bex Talks Sex
This is what I default to using a lot of the time for negotiations. Forget BDSMtest, you don’t need that, it’s no good. Just look through this worksheet’s wordbank with your partner. Big fan especially of the “how do you want to feel?” section.
Books I can kind of recommend:
- The Ultimate Guide to Kink, edited by Tristan Taormino
This book is weird. There’s a lot of good info for experienced players, but some of what’s written here skeeves me out. I think if I had a top that thought the way some of the tops in here think, they would not be topping me for long. But there’s some good techniques and so on to pick up that I wouldn’t have otherwise. I liked the distinction one of the authors makes between being sadistic in the sense of inflicting pain and being sadistic in the sense of doing something your sub doesn’t “enjoy.”
- The Ritual of Dominance and Submission, by David English
Man, this book fucking sucks. The writing and editing are garbage, and the fear and protocol play described need way more careful negotiation than he ever lets on, let alone recommends. This is some 50 Shades bullshit. The only time I recommend this book is to tops like me who tend to be very affirming to their partners and need a guide on how to really scare them - when their partner consents and when you negotiate it, which this book sucks at teaching you. Really good content on fear, punishment, and protocol play, really terrible presentation of the topic though. Don’t read this if you don’t already know what you’re doing.
- Paradigms of Power, by Raven Kaldera
I love this book. Great book. Very focused on 24/7 M/s play though, and, being an anthology, some chapters are better than others. If you can’t read something and pick out what is and isn’t for you, don’t bother. But some really great inspiration, and generally pretty well written. Big fan of the discussion of leather throughout the book.
Hope some of these are helpful for people ^-^ for the average person reading this I recommend New Bottoming/Topping, but they’re all important parts of my library and I’ve recommended all of them to friends at some point or another.
May I also suggest Hell on Wheels and Kneeling in Spirit by Raven Kaldera, d/s companion books that address kink with a disability. They're a should read for everyone, imo. You never know when you or a partner are going to have changes in your body that affect what you can physically do. Temporary illness/injury and even just age can affect your sex life.
I'd like to suggest Better Bondage for Every Body! It goes really in depth on anatomy, pain processing, self-tying, and has chapters specifically focusing on how to do rope bondage on/for someone who is disabled or has chronic pain, which was really important to me.
one of my favorite tidbits about speedrunning that comes up every time the games done quick marathons come around is how Wind Waker speedruns are about five hours long because of the giant wall in Hyrule that actually forces the runner to play the game because they’ve been throwing shit at this wall for over a decade and still can’t figure out a way past it. the wall in hyrule is entirely unglitchable and the only way past it is to play the game properly. the speedrun would be like one hour if they could get past this wall but nope, it’s five hours. fuck the wall.
and the comedy of this situation is exponentially amplified the more you know about skips and glitches in speedruns in general
as examples of how broken WW is elsewhere, you can clip through walls and go out of bounds to skip entire dungeon sequences pretty much anywhere with a ledge, use the Wind Waker to enter a state where you ignore physics and swim at 5000 miles an hour, and even fly infinitely into the sky after dying like some kind of helium zombie. do you know how many games could be broken wide open by an infinite height trick? TTYD would shave off 3 or 4 hours.
but this fucking barrier around Hyrule Castle, against all odds, is just completely insurmountable with any of this. Ganondorf is literally the most successful and powerful villain in gaming history and this Super Extendo Fuck You Shield™ is a shining testament to it
Okay but do you have any idea just how big the Super Extendo Fuck You Shield™ actually is?
Try approximately four times the height of the castle itself.
And not only that, but even if you get over the invisible wall, there’s another barrier that causes damage and knockback. So even if you managed to get over the invisible wall part of the Nintendo Containment System™, there’s still an additional, cylinder-shaped barrier that will do damage to you and knock you back out, even if you try to get in from the top or bottom.
That castle has more security measures than Fort fucking Knox and it’s all to give a middle finger to speedrunners wanting to finish the game in an hour. It’s fucking wild.
As of July 2019, the barrier has been defeated in all versions of the game, and the current World Record is 1hr 04m50s. The current method is to give yourself seventy invisible grappling hooks, which corrupts so much of the game’s memory that there’s not enough left over to load the barrier (or a lot of other things, like enemies or cutscenes. It’s amazing). You can just walk right trough where it’s supposed to be.
my fave movie is spy kids and my mom uses it against me by asking me to do soemthing and if i dont want to do it she goes.. SPy kids take out the trash
and im ike
Damn it if i dont take out the trash then im not a spy kid so i have to go take out the trasjh
Friendly reminder that these only happen slowly, carefully, with lots of reader encouragement, engagement, reflection, and support, and an ending is never a guarantee.
Writing communities are gardens, not subscription services
People in the Omegaverse are probably writing Betaverse fanfiction where there is no A/B/O dynamics and everyone just falls in love with eachother's personality instead of pheromones and hormones controlling their desires.