welp. that went well.

decisions were made. not great ones though.

[t4timekeeper]

yeah i just love it when a character is in an inescapable torment nexus for a huge portion of their life and it defines every aspect of their existence forever. also whats cptsd

[sexygrammaticalerrors]

[should-be-sleeping]

This is what every post on nextdoor looks like, the ones that aren't just weird racism anyway (and even some which are somehow).

[prokopetz]

Dungeon crawling game set in a domain where the law of the land states that all hoards, troves, sacred relics, cursed rings, talking swords, and other unclaimed treasures are the property of the Crown, with the retrieving party being entitled only to a modest finder's fee, and also it uses XP-for-gold advancement specifically pinned to the percentage of retrieved articles' value the character in question is able to legally claim; much of play thus consists of fabricating legitimate-seeming provenances for retrieved treasures in order to obscure the fact that they were pried out of a dungeon and thereby defraud the King.

[prokopetz]

(No, this is not "yet another tax fraud premise". Circumventing state ownership of unclaimed hoards is a different thing – more forgery and less math, for one!)

[prokopetz]

@sigiledpaladin replied:

Yeah this isn't tax fraud, this is commodities laundering.

Of course it's the paladin who understands the distinction.

[writing-in-the-grave]

I think I might have a new horrible, terrible, fucking amazing story idea.

[writing-in-the-grave]

Okie dokie it took a very disturbing turn very quickly but here's the idea;

Imagine the tiniest, most wimpy, pathetic, pitiful dragon you possibly can. She's got blunt horns and blunt teeth, and her claws aren't very sharp! She's a little smaller than your average house cat! Her name is Altheria. Her hoard consists of;

One dirty gold coin

That's it.

And she's so little she can't even hold the coin in one paw. It's not a big coin, she's just little and doesn't have thumbs! 👍

So the other dragons are all bigger and greedy, and very mean to her. She's struggling to hold onto her one pathetic coin, and these other dragons are fucking HUGE with caves full of gold, yet they're super greedy and want all the gold they can get! So one of them sees Altheria's single little coin and steals it. She tries to fight back, but they're so big compared to her that they just bat her out of the sky like hitting a fly with fly swatter.

So she's lost her entire hoard in one night, and she's feeling pretty pathetic, when she sees a poster!

HELP WANTED - RESCUE PRINCESS ELIZABETH - REWARD 15,000 GOLD

and she gets a very bad idea, but she's pretty desperate and stupid so she does it anyway!

So the story follows Altheria as she blunders her way through this quest to save the kidnapped princess (so tragically taken days before her wedding!!!) And she kinda sucks at it. She mostly skates by because everyone looks at her and goes "She's so small!!! She's harmless!!!"

And there's this thing called The Gift that people are born with. Only people with The Gift can understand dragons, so no one knows what the fuck she's saying anyway. Everyone just ignores her!

Well Altheria makes it to the bandit infested fortress where the princess is only to discover....

Drum roll please!!!!

The princess wasn't kidnapped. She ran the fuck away because she was not vibing with that whole marriage thing. She's taken over this small army of bandits and become their leader. She's plotting to take over her father's kingdom and become queen instead of being sold off to some prince. She's building an army.

Elizabeth has offered every would-be rescuer to show up a choice; join her cause, or die. Out of 37 would be rescuers, only three have joined her. The other 34 she defeated and killed in single combat. Because she's a badass.

She then ransomed the bodies to their families for a shit load of money.

So Eliza has The Gift, and gives Altheria the same choice but with some added sugar; if Altheria joins up, she can be Eliza's treasurer.

Altheria takes one look at the 35,000 gold Eliza has built up, and Eliza promises they'll get even more gold if they can take over the kingdom... And Altheria is 100% on board!!!!

But the reason dragons need gold is simple; the more gold a dragon possess, the larger they grow. That's why Altheria was so small. She only had one coin! But now she has 35,000 that she (kinda, she shares with Eliza) owns.

Altheria starts growing again. Throughout their quest to take back the kingdom in Eliza's name, she gets bigger, her teeth and horns get sharper, her fire gets hotter... She becomes a fucking badass, just like Eliza.

That's as far as I've gotten so far.

[oumiyuki]

This story is badass. hehe~ Imagine Eliza and Altheria going around defeating the other dragons that bullied Altheria before (in the sense of robbing; unless dragons do “fair and square” matches to get the Gold) and Altheria just becomes this extra huge, extra strong, extra badass dragon and the rest are now the tiny fly treatment dragons. XD hahaha

[writing-in-the-grave]

I have this image in my head of Altheria eating the alley cat that was mean to her in chapter one, but this works too

[artfromthevoid]

OP can I 🅱️lease draw fanart

[writing-in-the-grave]

I would die for you if you did

[artfromthevoid]

Bless

And you know I had to draw my favorite part

[writing-in-the-grave]

I'm actually crying oh my god I can't see the screen anymore my eyes are too blurry with tears in my god oh my god oh my god do you understand you're my favorite person now? Holy shit holy shit holy shit I love you she looks so little and perfect it's exactly how I pictured it thank you THANK YOU THANK YOU❤ ❤ ❤

[writing-in-the-grave]

I hope you know I've been sitting here in hysterics repeating SHE'S GOT A LITTLE FORK SWORD SHE'S GOT A LITTLE FORK SWORD SHE'S GOT A LITTLE FORK SWORD OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH OH MY GOD

[lemonsharks]

with one amendment: could she possibly eat the dog who was mean to her in chapter 1?

[writing-in-the-grave]

How about a raccoon instead?

[spectraspecs-writes]

Raccoons are mean and associated with no gender, I concur.

[ratherinterestingmilkshake]

I’m just ... u know, imagining this ... very nice, old black lady voice for the “is there a problem, Elizabeth” but ALSO imagining a princess voice. AGH

[writing-in-the-grave]

I picture Elizabeth's voice as very prim, proper, and delicate. Like cheery and upbeat no matter what she's talking out. Think like if Janet from The Good Place was a princess.

[pakrat03]

Yo, can Altheria get her dirty, small coin back? Like a keepsake for something?

[writing-in-the-grave]

Shhhhh spoilers. I've actually got a full plot now, I'm getting into the first draft as we speak.

[liesreblogstheworld]

This story has so many powerful economic privilege themes:

Most known dragons have grown up big and strong because they were supplied with starter hoards from their parents.

Altheria is an example of a rags to riches story that follows a narrative that few lower class dragons get to experience.

Fascinating.

[writing-in-the-grave]

I like you. You get it.

[eggsaladstain]

GO OFF BESTIE

Source

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

getting lost in boston is fun because I turned around on a street corner three times and some guy yelled "hey stupid! the bus is that way!" very helpful interaction and accurate insult, 10/10 no notes

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

one time I walked around a building a couple times looking for a bathroom and this guy went "this bitch thinks she's on a merrygoround, where the fuck are you tryna go? bathroom? one floor down to the right behind the door that says bathroom."

[mentohol-blog]

My very first time in Boston. I was absolutely miserable, trying to drag my giant suitcase up a lengthy set of stairs in the pouring rain. This guy who had already reached the top looked back at me with the most pure expression of disgust I’ve ever seen in anyone’s eyes, marched back down the stairs, grabbed my suitcase, carried it to the top, left it there for me, and walked away without ever saying a word. I think about him often.

[just7frogsinapeoplesuit]

For the people in the notes going "why is Boston like this": a) the insults are a way to show you have no ulterior motives when helping someone (and don't need to be thanked or repaid), and b) Boston was settled by the Irish

[direhydroid]

also the Italians. mixing Irish and Italian sociocultural attitudes had the effect of multiplying the Sass Levels by the power of infinity, in the sense that you get all of the clever dry wit of the Irish and all of the bitchy gossipy condensation of the Italians rolled into one very stereotypically overly-friendly American package.

also worth noting that who you are to them doesn’t matter. they’ll talk to strangers like that and will also talk to their best friends like that. they’re just Like That.

[just7frogsinapeoplesuit]

More from the notes:

[whitepeopletwitter]

[nynehells]

YOU FORGOT THE BEST PART

[fethawit]

Most welcome, Mr Dekarios.

[kaijuno]

[byteofsoup]

Imagine you're so small and cold and scared but there's smaller ones that are smaller and colder and more scared. I'm going to cry

[the-final-sif]

'Most Responsible Kitten In The World' Found Watching Over Orphaned Litter

A fluffy black kitten named Binx was found attempting to care for three younger kittens "as best he could."

Binx did his job well and all 4 of them got fostered together!

[ruinedchildhood]

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[victusinveritas]

[coginthemachine]

kindred spirits with our fave trade school alum

[ao3commentoftheday]

For anyone who hasn't seen them before, Hidden Search Operators are handy tricks you can use when you're either searching or filtering AO3.

summary: string is a generic way of explaining that you can search AO3 for a specific word that appears in a summary. You can do this from the search bar in the header, from the Any Field box at the top of the Advanced Search form, or from the Search Within Results box at the bottom of the filter menu.

Examples:

summary: Bruce

summary: "Bruce Banner"

summary: Bruce OR summary: Banner OR summary: Hulk

You need to put quotation marks around your search term if it is more than one word. The quotes make sure that the site searches for those two words together.

The other two operators listed work best in the Search Within Results box.

expected_number_of_chapters: 1 will return results where every fic has only 1 chapter currently posted.

You can use expected_number_of_chapters: -1 if you want results where every fic has more than 1 chapter currently posted.

otp:true will return results where there is only 1 relationship tag on the fic. If you want results where there are 2+ relationship tags (and no fics with only 1 relationship tag) then you can use otp:false

[katri-24]

This page is so beautiful and honestly I hope it reaches and helps any new people that are just starting out on Ao3 because it's helping me and I’ve been using the site for 5+ years now

[ao3commentoftheday]

I saw your tags @jackdaw-sprite and I figured I could offer you some help? You've got a few options to find fics that are actually about your fave who is often sidelined.

My own personal go-to is to use the Search Within Results filter. You can find the filters by clicking/tapping on any tag. If you're on a wide screen like a laptop, they'll be on the right hand side of the screen. If you're on a narrow screen like a phone, you'll need to press the Filters button at the top of the page to open up the menu.

In that menu, scroll down until you're near the bottom. That's where you can find the box labelled Search Within Results. In that box, you can type

summary: Renhardt OR summary: Rendog

When you filter for that result, you'll get 19 fics with that name mentioned in the summary, and if the name is in the summary you've got MUCH higher chances of them being central to the fic.

There's also a way to find fics with a tag in the X position. Fan coders have had this same issue, and so they've created userscripts that you can add to your web browser (like an extension). Here are a few that might be helpful for you to try:

AO3 Actually Relevant Characters - Sorts and highlights works based on how relevant the tagged character seems in the work's tags and summary.

AO3: Prioritise my Faves - Hide work if chosen tags are late in sequence, or if blacklisted tags are early

AO3 Secondary Character & Pairing Filter - Replaces works with placeholder if the tags you want aren't the first few tags, with option to show work.

Editing to add: this version of the post has a syntax error in it. To remove oneshots with a filter, use

-expected_number_of_chapters: 1

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[pingintech]

literally a cartoon bad guy

[easilyannoyedceramicist]

Recently started embroidering and discovered the joy of decorating my clothes

The Dino bones pants are still a work in progress, I’ve only finished embroidering one of the pockets

[mteverestaaaaahh]

It was nice not having to cover them in blood and soot this time

[crabussy]

when you get crazy enough about The Character you'd think the situations you imagine them in would get more elaborate and lore intensive. but no. imagining my wizard pacing around huffily being slightly peeved at a mild inconvenience. I don’t even know what the inconvenience IS. and it's giving me enough joy to power a city for a month

[crabussy]

you understand this post more than anyone else