if i look back, i am lost
Claire Keane
Show & Tell
JVL
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trying on a metaphor
noise dept.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
AnasAbdin
JBB: An Artblog!
#extradirty
Game of Thrones Daily
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sheepfilms
ojovivo
Sade Olutola
One Nice Bug Per Day
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@dame-c
remember when Elementary adapted the holmes stories and made Watson a woman which removed the gay subtext but then made Moriarty also a woman and gave them weird lesbian subtext. masterful technique. the never-before-seen uno yuri reverse
totally normal 10ft tall portrait of your nemesis’ coworker
That SHE PAINTED. FROM MEMORY.
So pretty🥰
Credit: manhwawrld
i feel like i had a massive breakthrough with understanding in hindsight how adhd has affected my relationship with art, and i sat there for about an hour just like
I wanted to expand on this a bit and see if it resonated with any other artists. I do wanna preface, all of this is subjective and just me considering my own experiences. I'm not an expert on ADHD.
A huge part of ADHD, as most people who have it know, is executive dysfunction - which leads to procrastination. To cut several studies short, it basically boils down to a difficulty in regulating emotions around tasks, time management, prioritization, initiation, etc. Its why its so difficult to just get up and do the dishes when you realize it needs doing.
Because this causes us to let people down, struggle to meet deadlines, or overwhelm ourselves with TASK BUILDUP, it all sort of preemptively burdens you with feelings of guilt, shame, and stress when you have a task that needs to be done. Yes, doing the dishes isn't actually THAT hard, but its never about the difficulty of the task. Just the emotions that have difficulty being regulated around completing it.
Most people get "the good brain feelings" when they successfully complete a task like this. ADHD people rarely do, because its a matter of brute force; so no reward, and even less of an incentive to do it. The reward function in our brains is wired differently.
And that's where distractability comes in.
Yes, people who struggle with procrastination may put off priority tasks, but most of the time they're not just sitting idle. They'll start deep cleaning a room, organizing drawers, catching up on other things that fell to the wayside (thanks to procrastination whoops). I can't claim to know how the ADHD brain works or the intricacies involved. But I get most things done when I'm procrastinating doing something else important. For some reason, unlike just brute forcing the priority task, the distractions (or "branch tasks" I like to call them) do actually give me the good brain feelings. Is it masking the shame of being unable to complete the big task by completing other low-priority tasks in the meantime? Maybe.
So what does this have to do with art?
For a lot of us, myself included, we started drawing in school. Usually during class. When we had very important priority tasks to focus on. But you know what's better than learning about Henry VIII? Drawing in the margins of your schoolbook. Art sort of began as a distraction, or "branch task" for when I struggled to complete homework, or pay attention in class. It made me feel good in an environment where I otherwise felt like a failure.
Moving into college, coursework became the priority task for 2 years. That's when I started my webcomic, and oh boy did I draw a LOT. Probably because I was procrastinating on writing essays that were due the next day. It was always "I'll just finish colouring this page and THEN I'll start my essay".
When I left college and decided to become a freelance artist, I noticed it wassssss a lot harder to get pages done on a weekly basis. I started falling behind. I started getting bogged down with feelings of guilt and stress and shame for letting down readers, for not drawing enough, for - oh fuck you see what happened, art became "the priority task". Its no longer a "branch task" while I avoid something more important. It BECAME the important thing, and took on the burden of my executive dysfunction's shame and guilt. And whether I want to or not, my brain is desperately trying to drag me away from these negative feelings.
In my case, at least, I think that's why it's been difficult to pick up a pen and draw for the last few years. I finished a contract with [REDACTED BECAUSE NDA], and the entire time I was working with them (unmedicated mind you), I was like "wow i JUST want to work on my webcomic again" (it crept back into "branch task" territory). The second I finished my contract? Boom, all motivation gone. Priority task territory again. Can't have that.
Do I have an answer for this to repair my relationship with art? Not yet. Not really. There are a lot of other factors as well, not just this. But it's something I've been thinking about lately.
For Heesung, I thought he was a red flag mostly because the “apparently innocent second ML turns out to be a huge, even bigger asshole than the main ML” is a trope I’ve already seen a lot in BL, but mostly in shoujo. Also, him buying Dan all those gifts really rubbed me the wrong way, because a stranger essentially spending so much money on expensive designer stuff with second intentions buy the affection of someone they’ve known for a week or so seemed very alarming to me. Feels like love-bombing but with gifts. But turns out, he’s not the two-faced monster I thought he was going to be!
But, uh… You mentioned you thought Jae might let Heesung have a turn with Dan… Honestly, with the way Heesung reacted, I bet he thought he’d have a turn with Dan too. He blushed when he saw Dan and when Jae told him to be quiet and come closer, Heesung did exactly that while blushing. He only looked truly disturbed, scared and hurrying to leave after Jaekyung threatened him. Which might be me misinterpreting that scene, but for that he’s not out of my watch. Still, I think he might give up on Dan after that.
On another note, a lot of people ignore that Jae has been sadistic from the very beginning. People used the excuse that he “didn’t know about Dan’s situation” but after he quite literally buys Dan from the loan sharks, he knows that what he’s doing is fucked up. He knows he’s taking advantage of Dan— and he’s into it. The look he gives Dan before telling him he cleared his debt and how he tells Dan to “give up his pride” while smiling says it all. He even taunts him about it during their sparring/competition thing, saying
You know, when Dan’s about to be evicted and begs Jaekyung for money, humiliating himself, that’s when their dynamic starts to change. At that point in the story Jae didn’t know much about Dan, and Dan had considerably a lot more “power” and “freedom” in regards to Jae (even though, realistically, he couldn’t), but after seeing Dan on his knees, all beat up, begging for money to move into a new house Jae starts to notice that Dan is desperate and that means he can cross any boundaries — thus the infamous bop-it toy sex scene happens. His past partners could refuse it but Dan can’t.
And later, when he buys Dan from the loan sharks, that’s where their dynamic shifts completely. Before, Jae was just a source of money with no strings attached. Now Dan’s indebted directly to him (saved? no. more like under new management), and becomes completely reliant on Jae to have a place to live and is finacially dependent on him. At this point, Joo has complete awareness of Dan’s situation (even more after meeting his grandma).
He actively enjoys the fact that Dan is 100% at his mercy. And I believe him when he says he sees than as a possession, because in his mind it’s literally how it is. As much as I believe he might already have feelings for Dan, that doesn’t negate the fact that he’s just a possession now. He purchased Dan with money, “saved” him from a shitty situation and took care of the hospital bills for his grandma, in exchange Dan is completely his. And he hates it anytime Dan shows even a bit of resistance or steps out of line, or when outside circumstances (Potato interrupting sex; Dan helping out the other members of the gym; Heesung existing basically) interfere with Dan.
Dan’s the perfect toy that can’t say no to his whims and fetishes like his other partners did, he cooks him food and also takes care of his health and treatments. People say Jaekyung would drop Dan if he found out about Dan’s crush on him, but I disagree. He’d love that shit, because that means Dan won’t leave him and he can use those feelings to manipulate Dan even more. It makes no sense for Jae to drop Dan.
And the scary thing is that those stunts he pulls are CALCULATED!!!!! The car one and now the incident in chapter 34. He plans them in silence, he festers in his own jealousy and anger then acts it out.
Honestly Jaekyung is such an interestingly fucked up character, I love him and I love to hate him. I do believe he’s only going to get more controlling and obsessive from here on. I kinda hate that some people want to defend Joo because he doesn’t need defending. He is what he is, Mingwa knows that they’re doing with his character. He IS abusive towards Dan, and now we’re stepping into a more scary territory with the lying and manipulation, also the break of trust. Again, sorry for the long rant! I knew Jinx would be a dark romance but I thought it would be one of those very light ones where the ML is just a textbook asshole, which is why the recent development caught me off guard.
Oh wow, this is a big one.
Well, who knows, maybe I am in the wrong about Heesung after all. Maybe he too has some sceletons in his closet. Nothing is for certain.
I gotta disagree in one point tho; I do think that Jae does like it at least a bit when Dan puts on a fight, no matter if verbally or physically. Sure, he may be annoyed and roll his eyes, but if I remember correctly, he had been impressed by that hook Dan had thrown in the showers. I don't think he wants him to be a mindless slave either - perhaps he does enjoy him having a bit of a bite and character. And with all that shit he's been pulling, it is clear that he is not only a possessive but also a jealous man, who perhaps slowly starts to get involved, and is handling that absolutely terribly. I don't know. But he sure got issues.
All in all, a bastard. But I still cannot help myself and want to see where this is all going 👀
Check out the Jinx Manhwa Fan Server community on Discord - hang out with 2 other members and enjoy free voice and text chat.
I created a dedicated Jinx Discord server, as I need a fandom community of I will die! lol j/k
haha funny skating game go brrr
With @staff 's recent post saying 1/4 of this site is LGBTQ going around, I'd like to see what the actual demographic is
So!
would you identify yourself as:
LGBTQ+
not LGBTQ+
unsure/questioning
Please reblog for bigger sample size!
again check out these poll results
How tall are you?
Under 5'
5'
5'1"/5'2"
5'3"/5'4"
5'5"/5'6"
5'7"/5'8"
5'9"/5'10"
5'11"/6'
6'1"/6'2"
Over 6'2"
Special Circumstances Button
This poll is to test my theory that Tumblr is the 5'4" website
Sabine's voice is not coming back either!
Anne Jatco, Sabine Cheng English Voice Actress (who replaced the late Philece Sampler in Season 4) will also not reprise her role in Season 5.
The reason is the same as Juleka, Rose and Mayor Bourgeois voice actors, the low pay they are receiving for their work...
You can watch her statement here:
https://twitter.com/annejyatco/status/1508180053653274624?t=wXDBrbKfTf9381g7qSjJmw&s=19
And you can see the statements of Joe Ochman and Reba Buhr (the other actors who probably won't return) in my previous post here:
ENGLISH DUB ACTORS ARE LEAVING THE SHOW!? Joe Ochman, the voice of André Bourgeois and Reba Buhr, the voice of Rose and Juleka, just announ
I like to call this the “my comfort show has the world’s most incomprehensible release schedule but the cute character designs are worth it” photo shoot
Rena Rouge by Literary.Princess
ENGLISH DUB ACTORS ARE LEAVING THE SHOW!?
Joe Ochman, the voice of André Bourgeois and Reba Buhr, the voice of Rose and Juleka, just announced that they will most likely be replaced in season 5...
The reason? They, among other English Voice Actors on the show, had asked for a pay raise for their work and they were refused.
Both also said that Miraculous is the lowest paying show they have ever worked on, despite it also being the most popular show they ever worked on.
It is speculated that there will be other actors who will also leave the show, since the two of them were not the only ones who asked for a raise and they were denied, but for the moment there haven't been other statements from other actors
Here you can see both statements from their Twitter and Instagram accounts
JOE STATEMENT:
REBA STATEMENT:
https://twitter.com/rebabuhr/status/1508129739491356672?t=p3ygrAes-s-ozua7s7LeYg&s=19
so, to sum up the last couple weeks:
the NFT fad ended and several tokens that were supposed to be worth millions were sold for peanuts
terra luna tanked and dragged terra’s stablecoin off its peg. terra was the 3rd largest stablecoin at the time
meanwhile, people are starting to face legal consequences for stuff like fraud and money laundering
terra freezes their blockchain to prevent a run on the bank stablecoin
tether and dei also lose their pegs and tank
a court is forcing tether to reveal its reserve records to the public, which will definitely show that they’re backed by significantly less money than they claim
etherium and bitcoin both crash hard at the same time
tether’s market cap has dropped by several billion in the past few days, which might mean that some of the people at the top of the pyramid scheme are cashing out in dollars. just scooping up handfuls of money from tether’s reserves and running for the hills
crypto is fucking dying lol
tomorrow
Always reblog NSYNC the day before May
Queueing this for next year
Let’s see what this whole hummus thing is about
If you're a fan of gay sex I cannot recommend hummus enough
I’ve officially decided my favorite relationship trope is “at first I was perpetually bothered by your mere existence but somewhere along the way you became my best friend and oh yeah I’m also in love with you.” Nothing else matters.
I would like to put forward ‘you are the most annoying person in the world and at first I hated you because of that. Then I got to know you and we went through shit together and now I would literally die for you because you are my love and my light and the only reason I’m even still on this godforsaken hellhole of a planet BUT YOU ARE STILL THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON IN THE WORLD AND MY LOVE IS BARELY RESTRAINING ME FROM HITTING YOU WITH A CHAIR’ as my favourite variant of this.
