Relevant - even if I don’t feel like a survivor right now.
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One Nice Bug Per Day

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hello vonnie
almost home
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Origami Around
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

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h

#extradirty
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@dancing-nerves-blog
Relevant - even if I don’t feel like a survivor right now.
- Emma Watson
Last night I went to the emergency department as I was advised by my mental health worker to go if I didn't feel safe. I went there because I didn't. The crisis team came to see me and basically were saying I had to go home and weren't believing how much I was struggling. I ended up saying 'I'm just going cause this isn't going anywhere'. I walked out of the hospital, went and bought pills to OD on. I felt like I was standing between life and death, I was almost crying by myself in public. But what went through my mind and stopped me last night was 'how will your family feel if you do this and hurt them'. I thought of my niece and nephews. I managed to get enough strength to not do it last night but today is a new day, I still have the pills and I feel hopeless. Those thoughts about my family are still there but becoming more distant. I can't see the point in calling and trying to talk to my mental health team because I feel like they think I'm being dramatic and won't take me seriously but I feel like I will do it and I just don't know what to do now but actually do it. People say 'use coping techniques' or 'tomorrow is a new day' or 'take care of yourself and take it one moment at a time'... That stuff has been working up until now. But I'm at a point where it's too hard to think that way because every new day feels like torture and I have to do it all over again. I'm so sick of having dreams about people from my past who abused me and yeah maybe it's not always them actually abusing me in the dream all the time but having them in my mind is enough to make me feel horrible and dirty. I feel trapped and I feel like I want my mind to stop and I seriously just don't know how I'm supposed to cope longer.
Trying to be heard in the system when you have BPD.
Probably one of the most damaging diagnoses is Borderline Personality Disorder. People will label you as attention seeking, manipulative, and dramatic. Going to the doctor for anything from simple things to complicated things can be a traumatic experience because a lot of the medical world invalidates people with BPD and sees them as someone they can’t help and doesn’t take them seriously. It is very difficult to be treated for anything else but BPD even if you are already being/have been treated for it. Be it medical or psychological. You are labeled and it’s like walking around in a crowded room with duc tape over your mouth. It is very important to use your dear man skills and remain in a wise mind state in order to be able to speak up for yourself. Become your own advocate. No one can know you better then you know yourself and if something doesn’t feel right then it usually isn’t right. You deserve to be heard and to get the help you need for whatever it is that is wrong. If someone doesn’t listen to you then find someone who will. Never give up. Go to the next person, or the person after that. Keep going higher until you find someone that will take your concerns seriously. You are not alone.
-Ninja
does anyone else ever stare at pictures of themselves and start to dissociate? because I do it all the timeeeee
sometimes i forget that the people im talking to have emotions, react to things themselves, make their own decisions, and you know, like, actually exist
when someone asks you something but u were busy dissociating
(image source x)
Grounding Revisited:
Here are some grounding techniques (old and new) a big miss mash collection: Some are taken straight from the internet, others are adapted…Have a go!
1. Change the bed sheets.
This requires a significant amount of concentration, otherwise I end up with funny shapes for bed covers. Not only that, the activity is a tactile experience; the sheets are clean so they smell gorgeous, and if you use softener the fabric is great to handle.
Nothing makes me feel happier and more down-to-earth than changing my sheets. Unless, of course, my cat joins in with the fun and plays hide and seek under the bottom sheet with me.
2. Dance and/or sing.
I have a couple of albums that I slap on when I’m in the need for some feel-good time. The Cranberries album ‘Stars’ is on the top of my happiness pile at the moment (and also what I’m listening to as I write this).
Even though I can’t carry a tune to save my life or bust a worthy move, this album gets me in the mood for relaxing and helps me come down from previously incalculable heights.
3. Bake.
Since going on a diet last year, I’ve found that I’ve stopped eating my discomfort and started cooking it instead. Okay, so I still eat a bit of it (because the things I bake need to be tasted of course…) but it’s not the eating part that makes me feel good anymore; it’s the creating part.
I bake from scratch—none of this packet stuff. I put all of myself into making a decent gingerbread base for the apple pie because I take comfort in the clean, spicy textures and smells of making the dough myself. Like changing bed linen, it’s a tactile activity that grounds you through all of your senses. With delicious results.
4. Take a shower.
This is one of my last-resort grounding methods. I shower regularly anyway but when everything is too much to cope with (shiny or doomy), I lock myself in the bathroom, strip off, and stand under the scalding water until I’ve calmed down.
A hot shower like this is necessary to get things off of my skin—not mud or dirt, but bad thoughts, mad thoughts, misery and stress. A hot shower is the perfect cure for this because it relaxes your tense muscles and literally washes it all off.
5. Walk barefoot.
Shoes are great but they really disconnect you from the earth beneath your feet. Sometimes I walk along the sea wall to stare out at the river for a while. When I get there, I take off my shoes and socks and wander about on the parched earth, on top of the fortification itself, taking care where I tread of course.
It’s a weird comfort to feel the heat from the ground soaking up into your soles, almost like the Earth is saying “Hey! Glad you made it back. You’re gonna be alright, y’know?”
6. Garden.
I love this planet. I’m a novice gardener but love to plant flowers, grasses, herbs, and my own vegetables.
It’s not just my own garden that brings me back down to earth either; the surrounding countryside is full of wild flowers and sometimes free food: wild fennel, hairy-bitter cress, wild garlic, chickweed, blackberries, samphire, and nettles.
Gardening helps me breathe and re-appreciate the natural world around me. Sometimes the physical value of getting my hands dirty in the garden makes me hunt down a patch of grass, lay face down and give the Earth a big ‘ol hug for being so awesome.
7. Take a duvet-day.
When I finally realize I’ve vanished from the face of reality and that it’s not going too well, I like to retreat into my duvet—with chocolate.
A tutor at university once said to me that “sometimes nothing helps more than to wrap yourself up in a big fluffy blanket and say to yourself ‘there, there…’” I couldn’t agree more.
8. Break out the paints.
This is one I’d like to use and develop more because, even though I’m not trained, I’m not half-bad. That’s the point of painting and sketching as a grounding technique: you don’t have to be great.
I pick up my A3 pad and willow charcoal and go at it until the chaos inside of me’s out on however many pages it takes. Sometimes I produce some good work—an added bonus because I can come back to it and remember when I overcame what I was feeling and turned it into something good.
9. Moisturize.
I tried this at a friend’s recommendation and the benefits were instant. With every glob of cream I rubbed into my skin, I felt reconnected with my body which so often feels unreal and alien to me.
10. . Utilize Visualization - As conscious beings, we can alter and regulate or energy field through our changing emotions, and how we choose to feel. Visualization is an ancient practice that is incredibly effective and can be done in any moment, no matter where you are. Below are a few techniques that are quite effective.6. Grounding ChordVisualize, see, feel, or simply be aware of the center of the Earth and the free energy that it emits. With your mind and heart, reach down into the core, and pull up a pulsing, twisting chord of energy from the depths of the Earth. Hook this chord onto your root chakra, or sacral chakra as well for women, and feel the immediate connection between you and the Earth as the energy flows through you. You may become aware of a sinking feeling, a tightening and flexing of the perineum and muscles in your groin and butt area. Conversely, you can also flex these muscles and concentrate on sending the chord down into the Earth, as well.Practice and repeat this process as often as you need. Experiment with different chords of different colors and thicknesses, and experience the incredibly wide variety of sensations that it will instill in you.
11. Tree Meditation - Visualize, see, feel or simply be aware of your body, and become a tree. Feel your feet grow roots that sink down into the Earth and anchor you to it. Feel your legs and thighs become wood as well, as the roots that grow up from the ground encircle and entwine themselves around your legs, and continue to spread up your body. Feel the straightening in your spine as you become a trunk, feel the energy rising from the Earth up into your stomach, into your heart, into your head. Feel your arms become branches that grow, stretch, and reach for the sky, drinking in the light of the sun and changing it into energy. Feel your crown open as it fills with light, which then flows down into your roots and into the Earth.
12. Mountain MeditationVisualize, see, feel, or simply be aware of your body becoming a mountain, turning into stone. We see only the tips of mountains, their roots run deep into the Earth. Feel your legs and lower body anchoring into the bedrock and stone of the Earth, and the feelings of peace and calmness that come with it. Become the base of the mountain as it grows upwards and reaches into the sky. Feel your crown as the top of the mountain, where the Earth and sky meet and mingle; the connection of these two opposite spectrums that are in perpetual balance.We have the ability to regulate and change our state of being. While indeed we are a product of our environments, constantly in the presence of other external forces and influences, we always have a choice as to how we choose to feel and how we respond. We have the choice to change our external and internal environment to come into a state of greater harmony and coherence. I invite you to utilize the information and techniques above to increase your coherence, elevate your vibration, and take your power back to be the change in the universe you wish to see.
13. Yoga/exercise groups
14.Creation of a personalized sensory kit
15. Taking a hot shower/bath
16.Art therapy/Crafts
17. Mindfulness activities using a sensory cue
18.Journaling
19. Sensory modalities
20. Weighted blanket
21. Weighted vest
22. Music Therapy
23.Sound therapy
24. Brushing Techniques
25.Beanbag tapping
26. Aromatherapy
26.Biofeedback - Therapy required for this (if it is available to you can be good)
27.Neurofeedback
28. Light therapy
29. Pet therapy
Having a loose tooth is exciting when you’re a kid, but terrifying when you’re an adult
What I need people to understand is that getting out bed is not easy.
Leaving the house is not easy.
Talking to people is not easy.
Ordering food is not easy.
Making phone calls is not easy.
I need people to understand, that just because something is easy to them, it may not be that easy to others.
I read this book when I was on holiday. Really recommend it for inspiration that life with mental illness can improve.
#E4DCE7
When I was drowning that's when I could finally breathe.
For a wound to heal, you have to clean it out. Again, and again, and again. And this cleaning process stings. The cleaning of a wound hurts. Yes. Healing takes so much work. So much persistence. And so much patience. But every process has an end and an appointed term. Your healing will come, God willing. And like all created things, your worldly pain will die.
Yasmin Mogahed (via lazypacific)
I feel so lost on tumblr, I haven't used one in awhile. Idk what hashtags to even use. Is this how parents feel trying to text?! Help meeeeee
The thing about addiction is, it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high, stops feeling good, and starts to hurt. Still, they say you don’t kick the habit until you hit rock bottom. But how do you know when you are there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes, letting it go hurts even worse.
Dr. Meredith Grey of Grey’s Anatomy (TV Series)
Ouch