I am cringe but I am free

"We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars"

[anxietyproblem]

[woodsdyke]

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

[tourfilm]

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

[unadulteratedhideouttrash]

[wifegideonnav]

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

[ericvilas]

The ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything, is "what the fuck is 6 7"

The computer, sadly, misinterpreted the space as multiplication.

[ericvilas]

Truly the best possible outcome this post could've had

[weaver-z]

If you ever, and I mean EVER think that you fucked something up royally, remember that the organizers of the 1904 Olympic marathon:

- Had zero stations for water on the 26 mile (42 km) course

- Accidentally gave North American competitor Tom Hicks a cocktail made of egg whites, brandy, and actual fucking rat poison

- Had a guy come into the race late wearing a beret and cutoff slacks, sneak into an apple orchard during the race because no food had been given to him for 40 hours, eat rotten apples, projectile vomit onto the track, fall asleep for hours, and finish in fourth place OVERALL because most of the other runners collapsed of exhaustion or injuries

- Conducted the race on a dusty road, which caused so much dust to be kicked into the air that an American runner somehow inhaled enough to tear his STOMACH LINING open

- Accidentally released feral dogs onto the track

- Fucked the other competitors up SO BADLY that Tom Hicks—the guy who ate RAT POISON and was HALLUCINATING the entire run—came in first place

[postmarxed]

[gorps]

[louisegluckpdf]

we need to invent a spray tan-style treatment but instead of spraying you with tanning stuff it sprays you with heavy duty spf. and it lasts a few weeks so that way you can just get your spf spray a few times a summer instead of having to spend 10 minutes every day getting sticky and oily and making sure the sunscreen is all rubbed in. how do i get on shark tank

[doeberman-deactivated20210530]

wait babe before we move on i need to break every barrel in this room to check for hidden items

[queerliblib]

it’s a beautiful day to check out a book from the library

[meeliesaysno]

its a beautiful day to return a book to the library unread after it auto renews 3 times

[ksfoxwald]

The library says thank you for boosting our circulation stats and the book will still be here later if you want it another time <3

[ithasteeth]

I LOVE LIBRARY

[queerliblib]

WE LOVE LIBRARY USERS

[doomedmutual]

[narcissene]

affirmations:

- it’s fun to be awake & in an upright position

- consciousness is a gift

- i CAN do this anymore

[clytemnestraaa]

just had a really stable moment where i opened a redbull at the exact same second someone started playing industrial music in the apartment below and i briefly thought it was coming from inside the redbull can

[berkeleygirl3]

[approachingperfection1984]

[dogwoodbite]

[TEXT: Poem "I'm Sorry I'm Running Late I'll Be There in a Few Minutes" by Nora Rose Tomas.

"the subway door closed / on my leg last night and / now I have this huge bruise / down my thigh probably / five or six inches purple / and red the girl I'm sleeping / with keeps sending me pictures / of this white pigeon / she says she thinks the pigeon / is following her and she gets upset / when I say it is probably a different bird / each time

I understand that feeling though / like something is narrowing in on you / going through the day as if you have just / escaped tragedy / it is temping to imagine / a universe that / is putting in the effort to haunt you"

/End Text]

[cryptotheism]

If staff reformed the ban system to stop banning trans women and used the resulting good will to re-introduce pornography, this site would become a juggernaut. It would swallow Twitter whole.

[glazeliights]