the place to never be @dandilionsandlavender - Tumblr Blog

never once in my life have i felt as embarrassed for being called out as when daniel howell called me a freak for eating the skin of the kiwi :/

its nutritious and a fun texture ok

#perri yaps #dan and phil #dnp #danandphil

sat down two hits off the penjamin with my wings and fries, needing something to watch while i eat. low and behold 55 min ago

THE PHUPLOAD

#perri yaps #dan and phil #dnp #danandphil

...birfday in 3....

#perri yaps #my birthday #hashtagmybirthday

2colde

how it genuinely feels

json-derulo

my top travel tip I've never seen anyone else recommend is: choose a lamb to slaughter.

now, it's important to note that you can't just pack or buy something with the sole intention of leaving it behind to appease the forces of chaos. nor can you throw that candy wrapper in the hotel room trash can and call it even; if it's indisputably garbage, it doesn't count. the sacrifice must be chosen from among the actual belongings you brought with you, and you shouldn't designate it until you're packing up to leave.

with your eleven o'clock checkout time or uber ride to the airport fast approaching, take a final, grim inventory. the ideal lamb to slaughter is something small, lightweight, easily replaceable. of little monetary and no sentimental value. a spare USB-C cable that's sorta worse for wear, but still works. one of those little travel toothpastes—not quite empty yet, but you can snag another at any drugstore. the nub of an eyeliner pencil you could've used for another week.

take the lamb out of your bag, kiss it goodbye, and place it on the nightstand or bathroom counter or wherever you would've left it if you'd just accidentally overlooked it while packing up. then, to karmically cancel out any additional effort the housekeeping staff will have to expend to dispose of your lamb, gather up all the sheets and towels in one easy-to-grab pile on top of the bed, and leave.

I used to lose stuff every time I traveled, and they were usually things I'd actually miss! but it hasn't happened once since I adopted this superstition a few years ago. and sure, the practical explanation is that it naturally forces you to think about everything you brought with you and check in the places you'd be most likely to leave them. whatever. I find it way more fun to believe the universe craves chaos and blood and expensive prescription eyeglasses yet is reasonable enough to be negotiated down to a half-spent ballpoint pen instead

dominicanmermaid

#perri yaps #i was in highschool at parties falling asleep in the corner #not drunk #just sleepy by ten

banhmigoddess

My one boring tip to anyone in their 20s is to resist the temptation to rot in your room every time you get a free moment. Dismiss any neuroses you have about going outside and "being perceived". Be a dictator about it, plan your hangouts like they are binding commitments. No excuses! Go to the bar with your friends. Be kinda hungover at work. Socializing is like exercise; even if you don't feel like you want to, you should still do it because it's good for you.

#important #perri yaps

holisticdetective42

coworkers are addicted to crafting and casually saying new and incredibly erotic sentences such as “has anyone ever told you you have pleading eyes”

junk-thunder

you only like me for my radiant personality :/ you're only here because you love to see my smile :/ you only want to hang out with me because you know we're both so much happier knowing each other :/

who the fuck let MOISTURE get into my ONION POWDER

#perri yaps #bro

nattousan

i'm in agony, SOMEbody please help me remember what the childhood book series was that centered around critters that looked like this:

IM IN HELL WHAT WAS IT

hrrkikshoard

Little Critter?

nattousan

THATS THE BITCH

nattousan

alright smart-aleks, what about THIS one huh?? the dude had a really cool shading technique where he just swirled (colored pencil?) around??

cosmignon

Parts :)

nattousan

YOU GUYS ARE TOO GOOD AT THIS WHAT THE HELL

nattousan

ok my partner wanted in on this, I have no idea what this is

thecrabscycle

I GOT YOU

nattousan

i'm never leaving this fucking site i stg i love you all.

OK

final one

for all the marbles,

this one doesn't have an illustration bc i think it was just a kids novel but i haven't been able to find ANYTHING about it on my occasional internet queries:

kids is staying with his (grandmother?) in the woods and she warns him not to look a fox in the eyes bc they're tricksy and will swap places with you. obviously that's the first thing the little boy does and gets body snatched by a fox who uhhhh proceeds to pig out with his new little boy human hands and the boy has to trick the fox into looking him in the eyes again to switch back...

thats all i got, it's an older book i wanna say from the 60's?? 70's?? kinda the same jist of "Little Rascal"