Everything I know About Pooping in Space
So I just finished re-readingĀ Packing forĀ Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the VoidĀ by Mary Roach,Ā and it'sĀ easily the most engrossing bit of nonfiction Iāve ever had the pleasure of reading. Ā Ā But perhaps āpleasureā isnāt the right word.Ā You see, as Roach points out, travelling into space forces those involved to push the boundaries ā not only of what'sĀ possible, but also of whatās tolerable.Ā Ā And now that I knowā¦ I need to share.Ā Ā Everybody knows that the toilets of NASA are to be loathed (the butt of the whole program, so to speak), but whatās actually so terrible about them?Ā Well, for one thing, NASA didnāt evenĀ inventĀ a zero-g toilet for their astronauts until the 1970s.Ā The Apollo and Gemini missions simply went without them. Ā But the astronauts didnāt go without pooping. The reason there werenāt any toilets for the first 20 years of our space programās history is because there simply wasnāt any room for them in the shuttles.Ā Roach says that the Apollo 13 capsule had about as much cubic feet of space as a sports car for its three-man crew to share. Ā As such, there were no bathrooms.Ā They used plastic bags to dispose of solid waste.Ā Ā Are you ready to know what scenes didnāt make it into the final cut ofĀ Apollo 13? Astronauts would hold the bags on their bottoms (part of their training back on Earth was to learn how to position the bags with the aid of an in-toilet camera), spread the cheeks manually (unless they figured out how to squat in zero gravity), and catch the offending matter in the bag.Ā The catching itself is difficult, asĀ the firstĀ astronauts soon learned all-too-well that egesta tends to curl in zero gravityĀ (backwards, if you care to know).
āEgestaā means exactly what you think it means.Ā Itās the opposite of āingesta."Ā You'llĀ learn a lot of euphemisms for "poopā by the end of this post. And thatās not the end of the ordeal. Ā Back in the days before space-toilets, you couldnāt just seal the bag and put it in storage.Ā If bacteria are allowed to do their work inside the bag, it will expand andĀ explodeĀ within a few days, due to the gasses that bacteria produce.Ā Astronauts had to disperse an antibacterial powder into the bag (not easy in zero gravity) and thenĀ knead itĀ throughout the material.Ā If you happened to be in the middle of a docking procedure, or some other priority assignment, you had to hand it off to another crewmember to do (in what Roach calls a ātrue test of friendshipā).
Escaped turds floating through the cabin are not unknown in the history of NASA.Ā Itās all there in the mission transcripts, which are freely available to the public thanks to the Freedom of Information Act.Ā At least one conversation with Houston was interrupted when the crew suddenly noticed an offending bolus hurtling across the cabin. The crew first briefly discussed whose it might be (judging by viscosity and content) before laughing hysterically andĀ finally bagging it.Ā Ā Astronauts: tougher in more ways than just guts. And then NASA invented the zero-gravity toilet, which arguably made things even worse. First, there was the toilet with the spinning bladesĀ (operating just six inches below the rim) that would firstĀ chop upĀ an astronautās deposits and then freeze-dry the offending material to the inside walls of the bowl.Ā Ā Sounds safe and sanitary, right?Ā Only until you turn the blades on a second time.Ā The freeze-dried dung would then shatter and be dispersed throughout the cabin in a cloud of what must be called āfecal dust.ā That model was soon discontinued. Ā What NASA finally settled on (and, as far as I can tell, still uses today) is a fitted suction-tube which, unfortunately, generates about as many problems as it solves. Ā You poop into the tube, and hope to God that the air-filter doesnāt clog. Ā If it does, it has to be cleaned manually - by whomever did the clogging. Disposing of urine, in case youāre wondering, is a walk in the park compared to the multiple problems presented by the disposal of solid waste.Ā Urine is either deposited directly into a condom-like catheter fitted directly over the penis or, in the case of women (and the men who prefer it), a diaper. As you might imagine, most astronauts who are launched on short-term missions simply hold it all in (weāre back to discussing solid waste now).Ā NASA has tried liquid and pill diets to keep the levels of solid waste down, but neither program worked well.Ā NASA has also tried feeding its astronauts a diet rich in highly-processed foods, the effect of which is to constipate their astronauts for the duration ofĀ a mission.Ā Ā I get the impression that few complain. Storing bowel movements is another problem, even after the bacteria problem is solved. Ā What does one do with all the poop that builds up on a long-term space mission, such as an eight-month trip to Mars? Ā Itās enough of a problem that one NASA scientistĀ proposed theyĀ hydrolize solid waste back into (tasteless, perfectly sanitary) carbon and stored as edible patties.Ā Ā In a line that I desperately hope is a direct quote, and not a fabrication of Roachās, one of the astronauts present for the proposal exclaimed āWeāre not eating shit burgers on the way back from Mars!ā See, the reason I mention any of this is because I think space-travel is important, and what to do about doody is just one of the incredible challenges that engineers and astronauts face in the trek to outer space.Ā Itās just as daunting a problem as designing any landing-system or executing parabolic course-corrections from twenty million miles away, and yet it receives far less press. Anyway, thatās the reason Iām writing a post about poop.Ā Because NASA is populated by heroes, and sometimes, being a hero stinks. One final anecdote: NASA has done well to figure out which foods are the most readily-absorbed by the body.Ā Animal fat and protein are two of the most readily-metabolized foods.Ā A ten ounce steak will produce only one ounce of solid waste, an absorption-rate of 90%.Ā Hard-boiled eggs have an even higher absorption-rate.Ā Ā This is why the traditional pre-launch astronaut meal is steak and eggs. Ā Theyāll be sitting in the cockpit for eight hours straight with nowhere to go, and, as Roach puts it, āyou donāt want to beĀ eating FiberOne on launch-day.ā The traditional Russian pre-launch breakfast, it should be noted,Ā is not steak and eggs, but a one-liter enema.Ā Ā I apologize for what I just put you through, dear reader.Ā To make it up to you, I promise to deliver a postĀ on sex in space next.
āSerge
