Danielle Boudreau

Contributor for Yahoo Canada

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No, you don’t have to invite the whole class to your kid’s birthday party

Confession: My daughter turned four recently, and we didn’t invite everyone in her daycare class.

She loved being the centre of attention on her big day, and certainly had enough time to prepare. The “who’s coming to my birthday” topic is a common one all year long in a group that still has a dodgy sense of time.

The class was too large to accommodate everyone at the play gym, and some of the kids were much younger or didn’t socialize frequently with her core group of friends.

The teachers gave out the invitations discreetly to the parents of those on the list, but now I’m wondering: was it wrong to exclude some of those kids?  

No, says Dr. Tamara Soles a psychologist at The Secure Child in Montreal. “In general I feel like that’s not a realistic approach to birthdays.”

It’s not always affordable or practical, and it’s not always the best approach for your child either. It’s their special day, and they should be able to select the people that they want to attend. “I would shy away from the mentality of needing to invite the whole class,” she says.

Social Skills

Some schools will say that if you’re handing out invitations at school then they need to go to the whole class to avoid hurt feelings.

It’s about etiquette and social skills, says Soles. “When you’re not including everyone, how do make sure that you’re sensitive to those individuals that you didn’t invite?”

Coaching your child to not talk about it in front of the kids you didn’t invite, and making sure invitations are mailed or given discreetly rather than in front of everyone is important, she says.

And are youngsters in kindergarten to grade 3 mature enough to get that concept?

“They are,” says Soles. “How do we minimize the impact on others?

“Once kids enter school they’re really aware of the idea that other kids’ feelings could be hurt if they’re not included, and it’s never too early to start having that conversation.”

The ‘Precious Snowflake’ Syndrome

If you try to protect your child from every possible hurt, “you run the risk of children not having the opportunity to understanding all sides of it,” says Soles. “You could be the inviter, the invitee, or the person left out. And all of those are opportunities to talk about why you might be in that situation, or how you might deal with that situation.”

“Asking ‘I wonder how that person would feel if we didn’t include them,’ or ‘I wonder why you’re hesitant to include that person,’ or ‘I wonder why they didn’t invite you.’” We want to help our children navigate the road, but not pave it for them — just help them with the bumps along the way.”

Being The Odd One Out

There will be times when your child is the one who didn’t get an invite to that big birthday, and that’s okay too.

“It hurts, of course!” says  Soles. “You start with just empathizing. You might want to share your experience of a time when you were not included in something, and how that made you feel. It’s an opportunity to connect with your child.

We’re not trying to protect our child from every feeling, we’re trying to help them navigate those feelings. It’s about empathy and connection, and if there is a problem to be solved then you can work on that too. If they’re having trouble getting along, that might be another conversation to have with your child.”

Dealing With The Class Bully

Soles says it’s not fair to invite the whole class with the exception of one kid, but your child also as a right to feel safe and comfortable at their own party.

She says that sometimes the other parent will call to ask why their child was excluded, and that’s a tough conversation, but “you might have to say ‘my child doesn’t feel safe with your child around because of xyz.’”

“Maybe it’s a misunderstanding, maybe it’s a pattern, either way it’s worth exploring.”

Inviting The Right Number of Guests

Some people suggest that the age of your child plus one is a good rule, but it really depends on the child.

Acknowledge your child’s personality. Some children are overwhelmed by having a lot of people, noise or activity and would prefer to have a small group.

Each child has their own sensors tolerance, says Soles, and this might mean having a smaller group.

A Teachable Moment

Talk to your child about whether there’s anyone in their class who tends to be more neglected or left out because they’re a little bit different. Maybe it’s a child with special needs or who doesn’t fit in with any of the class social groups.

Asking “what if” questions to help your child think about how others will feel is a nice opportunity to teach your child to think about others’ feelings, says Soles.

“Coach the empathy whenever possible, and birthday parties are filled with those opportunities, for better or worse.”

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The five skills kids need today to succeed

While acknowledging that it’s hard to quantify across industries, experts estimate that entry-level candidates today are required to be 80 per cent more qualified than they were 10 years ago.

Photoshop, PowerPoint, even basic programming to build a website or build an app are now widely considered essential literacy skills, says Paul D. Smith, Executive Director of the Canadian Association of Career Educators and Employers.

Indeed, they’re now seen as so commonplace that toys are being designed to teach children to code before they’re even out of diapers.

Fisher-Price’s Code-a-Pillar, introduced at this year’s CES in Las Vegas, has eight modules that snap together into a caterpillar-shaped toy. Each segment  corresponds to a particular action (turn left, turn right, make a noise, etc), and directs how the caterpillar moves depending on how your tot connects them.

The analytical skills learned at an early age can give children problem-solving skills that will serve them in any career.

But the most important skills aren’t all related to technology. These universal skills are what kids will need to succeed in the workplace:

1. Technical Tools: When your humble scribe here was in high school, typing (on a typewriter) was still something you’d get credit for. While keyboard proficiently is still necessary — for now, at least — adding it to your list of skills is akin to saying you know how to use a pencil. 



Shooting and editing videos used to be a skill only a few could master but now it can be done on a phone or laptop. This, along with PowerPoint, website building and Photoshop abilities, is vital for the workforce, which is increasingly moving towards a gig economy, says Smith. It’s a different structure, it’s like everyone is an entrepreneur, he says.

2. Communications Skills: Arts and social science degrees, easily dismissed as useless in a modern workplace, still have their merits. 

Having the technical savvy to build a website is great, but being able to clearly articulate your ideas to colleagues, management and clients remains vital.

Smith gives an example of a junior employee who was asked to relay important information to an executive at the oil and gas company he worked for in Calgary. Instead of sending an email or calling, he sent it by text message — representing a failure to understand the corporate culture. 


3. Critical thinking: The International Baccalaureate program is a non-profit educational foundation that offers four programs of international education in authorized schools. Their students are “encouraged to think independently, learn a second language, become more culturally aware and be engaged with people in an globalized, rapidly changing world.

“

When asked to rate priorities by Smith’s organization, employers have started putting co-curricular involvement ahead of academic achievement. Academics still matter, he says, but they’re looking for students who have more to show for than just school work. 



A 3.1 grade point average with other experiences should make you a more attractive candidate than someone with a 3.9 but nothing else to show for their time at school, he says. 


4. Resilience: This is the capacity to manage oneself in the workforce and deal with difficulty, and it’s something many young employees lack, says Smith, although carefully noting that it’s a broad generalization. 



“What I hear employers complaining about is the fundamental employment competencies that graduates are lacking as they get into the workforce,” Smith says.



He says that employment culture, the notion of what it’s like to get up and go to work on time every day and be prepared for the job, is something that employers are saying is missing from new recruits more than ever before. 


5. Being a team player: Students who have part-time jobs and are engaged in extra-curricular activities such as sports are found to be more desirable employees, says Smith. 



“There is such a focus on ‘work hard, good grades,’ to the exclusion of other things,” says Smith. “So we’re seeing people who are academically very strong, but are missing the co-curricular skill sets.”



A student who has a part-time job will learn to work cooperatively when the stakes are low. “If you do not communicate well with the boss at a part-time retail job, it’s not a six-figure mistake.”

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Pizza Hut clothing the latest branding fail by a food company

Dear Pizza Hut: Trash the marketing team that decided a “Pizza is Bae” hoodie was a good idea. The kids are cancelling that basic term faster than you can say “on fleek.”

(If you’re over 20 and would like a translation of the above paragraph, click here).

The Hut Swag campaign smells like something a committee of middle-aged suits dreamed up in a boardroom while trying to tap the “youth market.” Preach.

Here are a few of the offerings, if you’re inclined to wear your stomach on your sleeve:

“Stay Cheesy” hat: $14.99 “Devoted to pizza’ t-shirt: $15.99 Pepperoni scarf: $29.99 “Dreaming of pizza” pillowcase: $39.99 Pizza-themed longboard: $179.99 Tribal Pizza Leggings: $49.99

Tight leggings and cheesy pizza aren’t a match made in heaven, but this ill-advised scheme isn’t the first time a large company has gone off track.

McDonald’s is also into the apparel game with its Big Mac Shop, which is now open in Canada. You can buy raincoats ($92 CAD), shorts ($59), thermal underwear ($79) and even a dog coat ($66) all made with the same diagonal hamburger design.

They also offer wallpaper for $63 per roll, sleeping bags, and a tent is a potential future item. Rain boots are “coming soon.” The website claims that any profits will go to Ronald McDonald House Charities.

American burger chain White Castle has a line of clothing with their logo that’s most inoffensive, but they offer onesies for babies who are too young for solid food, and the “custom” poly tie is an odd choice for suit wearing-professionals. And if you want to make sure everyone knows you’re vegetarian, get the Veggie Sliders t-shirt.

Don’t even bother making a resolution to eat healthier in 2016 if you pick up some gear at Dairy Queen. It’s impossible to eat a salad wearing a Sundae Funday t-shirt, but what we really can’t figure out is the Real Tree collection. If you’ve ever wanted a DQ t-shirt, hoodie and matching ball cap made in a Realtree extra camo pattern, this is your chance. Why you would want to is another question.

The In-N-Out Burger chain sells bikinis on its website, along with the usual collection of t-shirts, sweatshirts and other logo swag. Is it just me, or is wearing skimpy clothing less appealing after a Double-Double burger, fries and a shake (That’s 1,655 calories, if you’re counting).

Taco Bell has a large collection of clothing and accessories. Along with the usual apparel, they sell rings (“Taco” and “Bell” for different fingers), iPhone covers, temporary metallic tattoos and a taco-shaped foam hat.

The M&Ms t-shirts sold on the MMSworld.com website are brightly coloured like the candy, and are arguably cute in a kid-friendly way. But who needs a camisole and shorts set from a candy company?

The Ms. Brown Big Face Plush Backpack may not be the most useful thing you'll ever own, either.

Urban Outfitters, an actual clothing company, nonetheless has had so many blunders that made the news, a cynic could be forgiven for wondering if it’s all part of a plan to generate free publicity.  

The clothing chain’s most recent blunder was a big one. They offered a vintage-inspired Kent State sweatshirt covered with fake blood stains for $129 USD. Somehow, mass shootings just don’t seem like something worth making light of in leisurewear.

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Bisexuality and dating sites: when you’re not just straight or gay

Online dating can be a great way to meet a mate, but what do you do if you don’t fit neatly into the usual straight or gay categories?

Although some sites are inclusive, such as OK Cupid, which covers 13 sexual identities, many of the most common sites only offer options for those seeking either a straight or gay relationship.

The site has also added 22 gender labels. Along with woman and man, you can define yourself as intersex, genderfluid, non-binary or two spirit. Members can select up to five labels.

The popular site match.com is more typical in that it sticks with the basics. First time visitors will be asked if they’re a man or woman, and given the same choices for potential mates.

Users are welcome to set up two profiles or they can alternate their profile depending on whether they’re seeking men or women, says Ashleigh Cartier, a spokesperson for match.com.

Of course match.com, which has been around for 20 years, is a paid service, so having two accounts doubles the price. The site has packages starting from $16.99 per month.

Cartier adds that the written bio in members’ profiles can include a more detailed description of who they are and who they’re looking to meet. She says the site is geared towards generating lots of dates for its members.

Another big international site, eHarmony, claims to be responsible for over half a million marriages. Like match.com it only has male/female and straight and gay options. Packages start at $24.95 per month.

An email from eHarmony, which is marketed to people looking for long-term straight relationships, suggests that a membership to that site can also include access to their gay dating site at no extra cost.

“Compatible Partners applies the same successful and patented matching technology as eHarmony to help people find matches of the same sex,” says eHarmony.

PlentyOfFish.com, the self-proclaimed largest dating site, is free to join although they offer upgraded packages. It limits users to male and female options, as does chemistry.com.

The message from most large dating websites seems to be clear: First choose what gender you’re looking for, then start looking for a mate.

Personal blog posts like this one on xojane.com reveals a common problem for bisexual women. If a bi woman says she says she’s looking for men or women, she runs the risk of being inundated with straight couples looking for a third party to spice things up.

In this scenario, gay women are seeking for other gay women, and straight men look for straight women — leaving a bisexual person, who should have double the dating opportunities, with far fewer choices than most people who have registered for any of the major sites.

For bisexual men, it’s the same problem in reverse. Gay men seek other gay men, and straight women may view bisexual men as a risky choice in the search for a mate — assuming they aren’t filtered out of searches on dating websites.  

What should bi daters do? There are niche sites online, for just about anyone who wants to meet their next date or soulmate. From people with food issues to Star Trek fans, there’s a site for everyone.

Bisexuals can join bisexualcupid.com or bisexualfish.com — an offshoot of Plenty of Fish. Or they can join two sites, one gay, one straight.

We may have come a long way in terms of equality, but there are still hurdles to overcome if you don’t fit into one of two basic categories.

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Losing weight in 2016: How to get off (and stay off) the couch

The holidays are over and most of us are full of chocolate, cheese and regrets about poor choices made in December.

Is joining a gym the best way to get in shape and shed those extra pounds? Not necessarily.

If you don’t enjoy it, it’s not going to be an effective way to stay in shape. Instead, find an activity that interests you, and you’ll be more likely to stick with it.

Last year ParticipACTION highlighted non-traditional sports such as Quidditch and axe throwing as a fun way to stay fit and keep active, says spokesperson Dr. Allana LeBlanc.

According to the health and fitness organization’s Canadian Health Measures Survey, only 15 per cent of adults get the 150 minutes per week of moderate-to-vigorous physical activity that they need to stay healthy.

For sedentary adults, adding any amount of physical activity is beneficial, but they should work up to meeting the organization’s guidelines.

Exercise can help ward off a host of problems including heart disease and Type 2 diabetes, while also promoting physical and mental health. Children need at least 60 minutes of physical activity per day.

Research has shown that those who are overweight but fit are less likely to die prematurely than those who are normal weight but unfit,’ says LeBlanc.

Get moving

The most important step is to start moving. “Every little bit counts,” says LeBlanc. “Going for a brisk walk during your lunchtime or after dinner, even in small chunks it’s really helpful and help you reach your fitness goals.”

Walking is a great way to begin exercising, and it doesn’t require expensive equipment. Meeting the 150 minutes per week goal would mean 30 minutes of brisk walking five days per week, at a pace where you’ll break a sweat but can still hold a conversation. 

Obviously walking can be done anywhere, but for those who need group support, you can join clubs like the ones at stores like The Running Room, or find a local non-profit group in your community.

Get smart

“Setting goals is really important. Just saying ‘in 2016 I’m going to be more active’ is not the best or most attainable goal,” says LeBlanc.

Instead, her organization encourages people to set SMART goals. The acronym stands for:

Specific: Say something like “increase my physical activity by 10 minutes per day.”

Measurable: “I will walk 1 km at lunch” is a measurable goal, rather than an abstract idea.

Attainable: Start slowly, work towards good habits you can incorporate it into your life.

Realistic: Don’t start with 150 minutes - don’t set yourself up for failure.

Timely: Make sure you can fit exercise into your schedule, so book it into your calendar.

Step it up

Along with getting off the couch and moving, adults should do resistance or impact activities at least twice a week increase their muscular and bone strength, according to the Canadian Physical Activity Guidelines. Examples include shovelling or digging, running, jumping rope and lifting weights.

If you don’t get enough snow shovelling in, or want to do something indoors in the winter, gyms offer a wide variety of exercise options for beginners and pros.

There are plenty of workout plans online, from lists of exercises to videos. These can be a great resource for budget-minded fitness buffs, but using proper form is important to make the exercises effective and prevent injury.

You might consider expert help, but make sure your personal trainer has certification from the Canadian Society for Exercise Physiology, says LeBlanc, adding that credentials from this group will ensure that your trainer understands proper techniques and your limits.

“You can easily hurt yourself, which will not only set you back in the short term, you may put yourself off exercise in the long term which is even more damaging.”

What about yoga and pilates?

“In general, it doesn’t fit into the moderate to vigorous category, but that depends on the style and the teacher,” says LeBlanc. “For weight loss specifically, you generally need higher intensity activities — think spin class.”

“Overall, exercise in general is not actually super effective for weight loss – it takes a lot of work to burn calories but it’s really easy to eat more,” she says.

Maybe the gym doesn’t want to see you anyway

A Planet Money podcast explored the phenomenon of low-priced gyms a year ago. They found that Planet Fitness locations in New York City, which charge $10-$20 per month, have an average of 6,500 members, yet hold about 300 people. This works because many members only attend for free pizza and bagel events, which is enough to encourage them to maintain their membership despite not working out.

They found that the people who are drawn to bargain gyms are wowed by massage chairs and spa treatments, while gyms that charge $500 per month have dedicated users who risk being kicked out if they don’t attend regularly.

Be realistic when setting goals

Signing up for a triathlon isn’t the best approach for dedicated couch potatoes. Even seasoned fitness buffs struggle with cold temperatures and icy roads in January, so this is not the best time to haul your bike out of the garage for the first time in years.

Instead, consider yoga as a gentler way to get moving, or sports like swimming, skiing or skating, which can be fun for the whole family. Making activity part of your lifestyle, and not a chore, will improve your chances of keeping your New Year’s resolution past the first month.

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Looking for love? Why you’re most likely to find it on January 3

Maybe you are sick of your friends trying to set you up on a date, or maybe seeing your ex with a new mate was more difficult than you’d like to admit.

The holidays and New Year’s resolutions can lead people to make changes in their lives, and that’s why this is a busy time in the online dating world.

For the best selection of potential dates on match.com, make sure you’re logged on at 8:52 p.m. ET on January 3.

The Sunday after New Year’s Day is the busiest day of the year for the dating site, with activity peaking in the evening. They say there were 90,000 messages sent between Match users on the same day last year.

“In my experience as a relationship therapist, I know that the holidays can be a time where people really want to be in a relationship,” says Dr. Kimberly Moffit, the Canadian Relationship Insider for the company.

“A lot of people deal with going home for the holidays and having their parents and aunts and uncles ask ‘Is there anybody special in your life?’ or you hear about your best friend getting engaged during the Christmas holidays,” she says.

It’s the time of year for people to take stock of their relationship status. People are making resolutions, deciding what they want to achieve in 2016, and for a lot of Canadians, their goal is to fall in love, explains Moffit.

Creating an online profile

New to online dating? Keep it simple. “A lot of people over-complicate things in their minds to the point where it prevents them from putting something up at all,” says Moffit.

She says that if you only have a few minutes, focus on getting a great photo, which will generate a lot more attention than a profile without one.

After that, make sure your profile represents you. Forget walks on the beach and loving pasta — “that’s pretty much everybody,” she says.

Instead, be specific. “If you love ComiCon and go there every year, say that in your profile. Or if you love to cross country ski and that strikes up interest, they’re a lot more likely to reach out.”

What makes a good online dating photo?

Wear red and smile. Research shows that people who smile are a lot more likely to be seen as attractive and approachable, and statistically, people who wear red are seen as more attractive.

“You don’t need a professional photo, I recommend a simple headshot from the shoulders up, and definitely not a photo with friends or with another man or woman, a lot of people make that mistake as well,” Moffit says.

What type of messages get a good response?

“When making that first point of contact, finding a common point of interest is probably the best way to go,” she says. “Research shows that people tend to like people they see as similar to themselves.”

If you have a shared interest, such as maybe having similar interest in music, that can be a starting point.

“Try saying something like, ‘I noticed that you really love this band, I’m a huge fan as well, I have a feeling that we’re going to get along really well.’”

How long does it take?

“I’ve seen everything from people who go on their very first date and meet the love of their life — and I think a lot of people are disappointed when that doesn’t happen to them,” says Moffit.

The whole point of going online is to get in front of as many people as we can in person to start that process of finding out who is a match and who is not.

“Don’t wait,” says Moffit, if your goal is to meet someone this year. “Treat it like a part-time job or a priority, like you do any other resolution. We make time for our careers, why not make time for love too?”

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Rated: Four top diets to consider for your New Year’s Resolution

After December’s food and drink free-for-all, January is the month of sober second thought.  

 If you’re trying to be more conscious of your food intake, read the nutritional content of snacks printed on the side of the package. It doesn’t usually sound so bad — until you realize the portion size is often impossibly small.  

Here’s a more realistic tally of what your holiday snacking might have included:

Lay’s Original Potato chips (425 grams): 2,428 calories, 152 grams of fat

Nutella (950 g jar): 5,000 calories and 30 grams of fat

Oreo cookies: One row, or 15 cookies: 800 calories, 35 grams of fat

Since a healthy adult should eat around 2,000 to 2,500 calories per day… well, you can do the math: it’s not good.

If you want to make some changes to your diet, you may be considering a commercial diet plan. We’ll look at the pros and cons of four popular diets.

1.     Weight Watchers

Weight Watchers has been around for 50 years, helping members lose weight with meetings and peer support. Clients track points that correspond to their food and activity, and the online system incorporate FitBit activity trackers.

In a study published earlier this year, Johns Hopkins University researchers found that Weight Watchers participants had 2.6 per cent greater weight loss after 12 months compared to the control group.

However Vancouver-based Registered Dietitian Jessica Tong says that her impression of the diet is that it’s not long lasting.

“In the long run anything that’s commercial tends to be quite expensive, so when you’re not able to afford the program anymore or not able to invest so much in the program, then you fall off the wagon,” says Tong.

“I think that the Atkins and Weight Watchers diets are somewhat obsolete - I rarely have clients ask about them,” she says.

2. Paleo diet

The Paleo diet rules out coffee, dairy products, grains, including breads, cereal, pasta and even whole grains like quinoa and barley. It is designed to replicate the diet of meat, nuts and berries that people living in the Palaeolithic period would have eaten. That period ended about 10,000 years ago.

Tong explains that eating like cavemen used to doesn’t make sense today, because our bodies function differently now, and our environment is very different. “I don’t agree with that diet,” she says.

“You’re eliminating quite a bit. Things like processed foods, refined sugar, alcohol, I would totally agree with that, and most commercial diets would advise that anyway,” says Tong.

Any diet that is so restrictive is really hard to maintain, she says. “Going to a social event or restaurant, it’s very difficult and very limiting, and you risk missing out on a lot of healthy and beneficial nutrients.”

3. Juice Cleanse

Juice cleanses are sold as a quick way to get a flat stomach, have more energy and detox your system, if you listen to the marketing claims of juice cleanse companies and celebrity endorsements.

Dietitian Jessica Tong says a three day juice cleanse won’t harm your body, but do it for longer periods and you “risk disturbing your blood sugar balance and affecting your metabolism.” She adds that our organs don’t “need a break,” and that following a healthy, balanced diet is the best way to treat your body.

“With the juices you get a quick influx of sugar, because it’s pre-digested, pre-chewed fruits and vegetables that are absorbed very quickly so you get that blood sugar spike,” says Tong. “But then what goes up, must come down. You’ll feel lethargic, light-headed or dizzy. because your blood sugar is very low and you don’t have any food in your stomach to prevent that.”

BluePrint, an American company that couriers its products in the U.S. and to parts of Canada, suggests first-timers start with a three-day cleanse, which consists only of six bottles of juice per day. “Acceptable cheats” include celery stalks, a quarter of an avocado, or half a cup of black coffee. Their cleanses are $65 U.S. per day.

If you’d rather make your own juice, the Internet has a vast supply of recipes which you can make with your own juicer ($60-$500).

The Dietitians of Canada list five tips for spotting diet misinformation on their website, including “Is the person or product promising a quick fix like fast weight-loss or a miracle cure? If it sounds too good to be true, then it likely is!”

4. The Mediterranean diet

The Mediterranean diet emphasizes eating lots of fruits and vegetables, as well as whole grains and nuts. Olive oil replaces butter, and protein should come from primarily from fish and poultry. Red meat, which is limited to a few portions per month.

This diet complements Canada’s Food Guide, is recommended by the Heart and Stroke Foundation, and is the one that Tong can recommend.

“Mediterranean diet does make more sense to me because it preaches the philosophy of balance,” she says.

But she adds that it’s not for everyone, as health concerns, ailments and pregnancy can all affect diets.

What should I do to get healthy?

If you made a New Year’s Resolution to lose weight, be kind to yourself, think of the things you’re doing well, and keep track of what you’re eating, says Kate Comeau, Spokesperson for Dietitians of Canada.

“The most successful plans are when they keep track what they’re eating. We have a free app called eaTracker that uses Canadian data, and there are others too, or use a pen and paper.

“People tend to lose more weight when they’re tracking the food they’re eating, and we also see positive impacts on fruit and vegetables consumption,” says Comeau.

“I’ll never eat ice cream again”

When we make an absolute change it can be really hard to stick with because it’s all we think about. It becomes the elephant in the room, says Comeau.

“A better strategy is to focus on the positive, creating a goal such as ‘I’m going to bring my lunch from home three of five days this week,’” says Comeau. “And so it’s a smart goal, it’s realistic, it’s measurable, you’ve put a time frame. When you achieve that goal, setting the next goal. That’s a strategy that works well.”

What message are you sending?

Comeau points out that hearing a parent talk about losing weight or eating different meals from the family can have a negative effect on children’s body image and self esteem. It’s much better to focus on having vegetables at every meal, making portion sizes smaller and eating nourishing foods, she says.

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Seven reasons why we need a snow storm now

If I were a meteorologist in Canada, I’d consider wearing a disguise in public.  

Canada has some of the snowiest cities in the world, and it’s no wonder we get a little testy in the winter. (Yes Victoria, your weather is lovely. We know.)

Sure, we have good stuff like democratically elected governments, universal healthcare and good schools, but where we don’t fare so well is the weather. Depending on where you live, you can expect snow, freezing rain or other unpleasant precipitation from September to May or June.

But I guess not consistently. Right now many parts of Canada have been experiencing unseasonably mild weather and some areas on the U.S. are getting strange weather too. Recently it was warmer in New York City than in Phoenix, and California’s temperatures were 10 degrees cooler than usual.

The World Meteorological Organization is saying that this year’s El Nino weather event, already “mature and strong,” will contribute to extreme weather patterns.

What does that mean for Canada? Environment Canada says we should expect a warmer-than-usual winter from December to February this year.

Are we wrong to be happy about a mild forecast? As much as Canadians like to gripe about winter, some people love it — and perhaps they’re right. Here are seven serious and not-so-serious reasons we should be saying “bring on the blizzards.”  

1. BEAUTY

A fresh snowfall is gorgeous, at least until the snirt sets in — that’s the ugly layer of dirt-encrusted snow on the piles along roads. Without snow, winter is a grim landscape of dead grass and bare trees. Snow also helpfully covers the leaves you never bothered to rake and your dog’s, uh, deposits, in the back yard.

2. SPORTS Skiers and snowboarders love it, and winter sports are big business. But those businesses don’t work so well when there’s no winter. Blue Mountain Resort in Collingwood, Ontario is so bereft of snow right now that its pitching its “Jingles and Joy Holiday Activity Pack” - think laser tag, wall climbing and swimming - to families who booked accommodations and bought ski passes in December. That’s called last scrambling and praying people don’t cancel altogether.

The resorts out west now all about it. They faced a tough winter last year with little snow. They can make snow if the temperatures are low enough, but it’s expensive and it’s more difficult to convince skiers to head for the hills when there’s no snow on the ground in cities and golf courses.

3. SNOW DAYS

We all lived for these days as a kid, right? I remember listening to the radio on snowy mornings, hoping they’d call my county… please. please. please. YES! A bonus day off school was a wonderful things. They were few and far between in Halifax, but it seemed like kids in some areas of the province hardly set foot in school from December onwards. Adults in non-essential jobs are lucky if they can stay home too, avoiding risk on slippery roads.

4. SHOPPING

Does a snowfall before Christmas gets people in the mood to shop? It can, and staying doors can lead to more online shopping too — but only if you have power. The ice storm that caused widespread power outages in the Toronto area in 2013 caused many stores to extend their hours once the lights were back on, in an attempt to make up lost sales.

5. ENVIRONMENT

Droughts can wreak havoc on the environment, making water conservation measures necessary. In California, the state has imposed mandatory water restrictions to help combat a four-year drought. Conservation measure include replacing lawns with drought-tolerant foliage and requiring golf courses and other heavy water users to cut back on consumption.

The Weather Network reported earlier this year that parts of British Columbia and the Prairies are facing similar problems, resulting in a spike in wildfires.

6. FOOD

Have you noticed higher prices at the grocery store? When farmers face weather-related troubles, we all feel the pain. California’s continuing drought has already led in part to increased food prices in Canada. Farmers have shifted to higher-profit crops such as nuts and wine grapes, and our weakening dollar has also had an effect.

California’s agricultural problems point to a troubling trend. Without enough snow, Canadian farms won’t have the necessary moisture in the soil in the spring, leading to problems growing their crops.

7. SOCIAL MEDIA

Need some variety in your social media selfies? Build an ironic hipster snowman with a beard and glasses and show everybody on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest how clever you are. Don’t forget the beanie hat.

Despite these reasons, as a Haligonian who shovelled non-stop last winter, I’ll be happy if the upcoming season is mild. Those 340 centimetres of snow that fell mostly in February and March last year are a misery I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

(Vancouver and Victoria residents, once you dry off from the rain, feel free to gloat in the comments section below.)

[danielleboudreauyahoo-blog]

How to snoop: Investigating a person you don’t trust

What do you do when you don’t know if you can trust someone in your life?

The wayward spouse is by far the most obvious and cliché example —for good reason. But there are also business associates, a new boyfriend, employees and even childcare workers who might raise your hackles.

There are lots of avenues to pursue when searching for information, especially in the United States where public records are much more accessible than in Canada. However this can produce outdated or incomplete information, so proceed with caution.

If you suspect illegal activity, your options are limited here, but you can take comfort that your personal information is safe from prying eyes.

Can I search criminal records?

Not in Canada. Criminal record checks can be conducted by police services, companies that perform name-based checks, and accredited fingerprinting companies. If you hire a company to do a name-based check, you should know first that not all police services contribute to these data banks, and that they may not share all their information, says the RCMP.

What about sex offender registries?

In Canada, the public does not have access to the National Sex Offender Registry. It is accessible to police, and contains contact information for people convicted of designated sex offences.

Last year in Ontario, the government released a database of sex offenders by postal code after a Supreme Court ruling ordered them to do so, but it doesn’t contain names.

Can I run a credit report on someone else?

No, not in Canada. You can check your own credit report, but not somebody else’s. If you need one for a job or a rental, they may ask you to do it yourself, or fill out a form giving a third party permission.

Depending on what you’re looking to uncover, try all of the social media angles, as there are still people who aren’t aware of privacy settings on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and the host of others. Of course, what you’re seeing there may be a fabricated image far removed from reality.

Once you’ve exhausted those options, it might be time to hire a professional.

We spoke with Themi Gitersos, Chief investigator at Elemental PI in Ottawa about the private investigative work he does.

What is the most common request you get?

“By far, the single biggest thing I do is find people. So either i’m looking for a parent, I’m looking for a child, for a witness for something that’s occurring in court, finding people for whatever purpose is probably 50 per cent of what I do. Usually it’s lawyers or private individuals looking for family, estranged family or adopted or biological parents.

Those are pretty frequent but the government will ask me to locate people as well. Sometimes they need clarification on something that happened 30 years ago and they’ve lost track of the person.”

Is the stereotype of the PI snooping in the bushes wrong?

“Well, I’m not going to say I don’t do that, I definitely do that… if you’re wondering what someone is currently doing, surveillance is the only way to find out current activity.

Clients [come] from various levels of government, law firms, major corporations to private individuals. I might be going out to do an employee misconduct investigation - is it a city employee plowing driveways with city equipment? It could be infidelity, which is the first thing people usually think of when they think of a private investigator. Maybe one in 10 cases involve infidelity.”

Do people look for answers they might regret?

Oh yeah, all the time. The big one would be infidelity. They don’t want to find the bad thing, but that’s what happens.

Are they usually right to be suspicious?

Not always, there’s a lot of very untrusting people out there. They might have been burned before, and they’re just not willing to trust. But around 70 per cent of the time they’re right.

Has the Internet changed your business?

“Everything that I look at, for the most part, is open source. So, there’s nothing that blocks people from doing it, but the trick is really putting it all together. The information is there, but good luck sorting it. It can be very difficult.

You’ll see on Facebook, every once in a while you’ll see one of those things ‘I’ve spent 20 years looking for my brother, please pass this along.’ Instead go out, spend $500 to get a private investigator to do it and you’ll have it by the end of the week.

There’s a lot of data out there, but not knowing how to search it and how to query it properly is what really limits people.”

How ‘private’ are private investigators?

The client will also guide me on what I can and can’t do. Sometimes investigations are very open, where I’m taking to people and taking notes and setting up interviews. Most often though, it’s discreet, so I can’t go asking around. So either I don’t ask at all and I just sit on the fringes or I’ll watch instead and make surveillance if it’s applicable, or just look at things online.

What is your typical day?

I spend a lot of time at the courthouse, at the library, archives, sometimes I’m on the street doing surveillance. Right now I have six cases on the go, two are surveillance cases, four are research.

What does it cost to hire a PI?

The fee range is generally $60 to $150 per hour. That’s a large variance, but there’s a lot of different kinds of investigators. A fire investigator would charge quite high because they’re very specialized and there’s only a few of them.

Usually the $60 guys, they end up lumping quite a bit of money on top afterwards. I charge a flat rate, I just prefer it that way —and got sick of doing the math at the end of a case. It depends on experience, on your niche in the market.

What should potential clients do before they call you?

“I had someone call once, she wanted to find her father and I quoted her a price, and she didn’t have enough and she got offended.

But then she looked on Canada 411 and found someone. So she’s telling me ‘oh is this all you do? It isn’t very hard’.

“Look, I expect people to look at Canada 411 before they call me.”

[danielleboudreauyahoo-blog]

The perfect phone for kids with helicopter parents

Anxious parents may not care, but the other children might laugh at your kid for carrying this phone.

The KidsConnect GPS Tracker lets parents track their kids’ every movement, review three days of location history, and have parental control of all incoming and outgoing numbers. It will even let parents eavesdrop on the child’s surroundings.

What it is

“The KidsConnect GPS Tracker cell phone is an all-in-one device that lets your child safely explore their world without the anxiety of losing contact,” claims the company’s press release.

Features

•   Built in GPS

•   Real-time tracking in Google Maps

•   Location history in Google Maps

•   Geo-fencing: get an alert if your kid leaves a set perimeter area

•   SOS will send a text message with the location to up to four cell phone numbers and them autodial the numbers until one is answered

•   Only parents can program numbers into the phone via the website

Fear as a sales technique

The statistics on the KidsConnect websites strike fear into the heart of any parent. “800,000 Children in the USA are Reported Missing Every Year According to the FBI,” they say. “That Equals One Child Every 40 Seconds… Don't Let your Child Become a Statistic!”

Hold the phone. Are that many children abducted each year? It’s more complicated that that. That number includes family abductions, non-custodial parents keeping their children too long and multiple entries for the same missing person. “Only 115 were ‘stereotypical kidnappings,’” reports Slate Magazine.

Still, nobody wants their kid to be the statistic. Is this a good way to keep your kids safe? Mike Dean, Managing member of KidsConnect, thinks so.

How did you come up with the idea?

“We were looking for a unique product in a market that’s underserved,” says Dean, adding that they are also working on a phone for seniors.

Have you had any success preventing or solving child abductions?

“Not preventing, but God forbid it happens, you can help track the children,” Dean says. “Should a child get kidnapped, even if the kidnapper finds the phone or breaks it… you can’t turn it off without a password, but should they break it or find a way to disable it, at least you have a starting point.”

Won’t the kids just leave it behind if they don’t want to be tracked?

“You say to them, ‘make sure you answer your phone, you don’t answer your phone, you’re in trouble,’” says Dean. “That’s what I always told my kids when I gave them their cell phone, I said ‘there’s one rule, don’t ignore my call. If you ignore my call, I call you once, I call you 15 minutes later, if I don’t get an answer from you, you lose the phone for the day,” says Dean.

“It’s not just a tracking device, it’s also a cell phone, so parents can call their children,” he says.

Why not buy a regular phone?

“A lot of parents don’t want to spend $40 a month for a cell phone plan for their kids and give them an Android or an iPhone with access to the Internet and text messaging,” says Dean. recalling a customer who purchased a phone for her daughter.

“She just ordered it because she found out that her 13 year old daughter was texting dirty pictures of herself to a 19-year-old boy. She says ‘I need to be able to get in touch with my daughter, she needs a phone but i don’t want her having Internet and Facebook and text messaging and everything else.’”

Dean noted that his customer was getting it as a punishment for the girl, “but I don’t really care, but it’s a great concept too.”

Age Range

Dean says the phone is targeted towards 4-11 year-old children.

This writer is hopeful that children that young aren’t left alone, and is also skeptical that they would have the presence of mind to dial the phone in an emergency situation.

Are they for sale?

They’re apparently available in the U.S. on the company’s website mykidsconnect.com, as well as Amazon and eBay and Shopify. Cell phone plans range from $12.95 to $16.95 per month. They aren’t available in Canada, yet.Dean ran a crowdfunding campaign for the phone last month on IndieGoGo; it raised only $10 from two backers.

[danielleboudreauyahoo-blog]

Forget Barbie, can a ‘girl power’ focus bring girls back to Mattel?

Batgirl, Poison Ivy, Supergirl, Wonder Woman, Harley Quinn and Bubblebee, coming to a toy store near you as 12″ posable dolls. (Photo: Mattel)

My three-year-old daughter is a little young for Barbie, and I’m happy to shield her from the adult-shaped doll for as long as I can, even though I enjoyed playing with the dolls as a child.

Barbie, Mattel’s iconic toy since 1959 when she was unveiled at the New York Toy Fair, has gotten a bad rap over the years. Critics say she presents an unrealistic sexualized image, and that her out-of-proportion figure can contribute to body image problems for teens. With Barbie’s focus on everything pink and frilly, and the infamous “Math class is tough!” doll, the critics might have a point, despite an effort to broaden her career prospects.

Mattel’s financial struggles show that I’m probably not the only parent who would rather have her child play with more educational, gender-neutral toys. The company fired its CEO earlier this year after reporting a 59 per cent drop in profits.

In an effort to boost sales, Mattel has just introduced a new line of action figures called DC SuperHero Girls for girls aged six to 12. More active and athletic looking than Barbie, they have brightly-coloured costumes and more sensible shoes, but the dolls still look uniformly slim and shapely with long flowing hair and tight clothes.

The toy line will include comic book characters Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Catwoman and Batgirl, says DC Comics on its website, adding that this is a world where girls can “be inspired to discover their full super power potential.”

6-inch Wonder Woman action figure from the new DC SuperHero Girls line, compared to the currently-available Wonder Woman action figure. (Photo: Mattel)

Warner Bros., DC Entertainment and Mattel have partnered to create a website with animated content including games, quizzes, character photos and bios and webisodes. Mattel created a high school story for the characters, softening them for a younger audience, says Bloomberg.  

“DC Super Hero Girls represents the embodiment of our long-term strategy to harness the power of our diverse female characters. I am so pleased that we are able to offer relatable and strong role models in a unique way, just for girls,” said said Diane Nelson, President of DC Entertainment, in a release.

The dolls will premiere at this weekend’s New York Comic Con. The company says its “first-ever 6-inch action figures designed for girls and 12-inch scale action dolls featuring strong, athletic bodies that stand on their own in heroic poses” will be sold in 2016.

Real world opinion

When asked for their opinion on a parenting Facebook group, these moms said:

“Could the proportions be anymore ridiculous? Im not sure the Victoria’s Secret angels even have that much of a thigh gap.... Glad to see some girl supers but can’t they look like real women instead?”

“I love them! Thigh gap or not I think they're great and can't wait to see them on the shelves! They are super heroes after all and made in resemblance of the live action characters who were fit and healthy. I'm a 14+ size my girl myself and I don't see an issue with these at all.”

“I see your point but male superheros don't look like real males. Superheroess aren't supposed to be realistic, Diana is a mythical amazonian princess. My [little one] is only 4 so not an issues i'm grappling with currently, just want to point this out. I like them better than princessess if that's worth anything.”

The verdict?

As a parent I like the new toys. Even though they’re doing it to boost their bottom line, these companies are responding to parents who would rather have their girls play with toys that focus on girl power and athleticism rather than skimpy clothes, sparkly bras and hooker heels.

[danielleboudreauyahoo-blog]

Botox: Not just for wrinkles, it fixes real problems too

Celebrating your twenty-ninth birthday over and over isn’t cheap. If your face is showing the effects of worrying about your kids, your job, your parents and your mortgage, it will set you back plenty to fix it - and that fix is only temporary.

Botox is an injectable drug commonly used to reduce the look of lines and wrinkles and make skin look smoother and younger. It lasts about three to four months before needing to be repeated.

First approved to be injected into muscles to improve the look of crow’s feet and frown lines in adults, it is now used for a variety of other treatments.

What can you use Botox for?

Health Canada’s approved uses for Botox include treatment for:

Chronic migraines headaches

Hyperhidrosis, or excessive underarm sweating

Cervical dystonia (a painful involuntary contraction of the neck muscles)

Equinus foot in cerebral palsy patients

Muscle problems in the eyes and eyelids

Focal Spasticity, or upper limb spasticity in stroke patients

Bladder disfunction

How does it work?

“In cosmetic use, small injected doses block the ability of underlying facial muscles to contract; this is designed to reduce existing wrinkles on the face,” explains Health Canada. You should always consult with a doctor before considering any treatment. If used incorrectly, it can cause droopy eyelid muscles, muscle weakness, swallowing difficulties and other problems.

Isn’t Botox poison?

Technically yes. Botox is a protein complex produced by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum, which contains the same toxin that causes food poisoning (botulism), says Health Canada.

However it’s safe in the doses approved by Health Canada, and it’s not the only drug that comes from dangerous sources. The BBC reported that Captopril, a antihypertensive drug, was originally developed from snake venom, and Byletta, a drug used to treat type-2 diabetes, is based on studies of saliva of the Gila monster, a large venomous lizard.

“Every drug is a poison … Aspirin is a poison… would you take 200 Aspirins? It’s the same with Botox, it’s a drug. All medications are safe in the right doses, Botox is no different. It happens to come from a bacteria, but so do vaccines… all of these lifesaving medications in the wrong doses are lethal,” explains Dr. Michael Weinberg, Assistant Professor, Department of Surgery University of Toronto and Medical Director, Mississauga Cosmetic Surgery Clinic.

How are alternate uses for Botox discovered?

“It’s the same way Botox was discovered,” says Dr. Weinberg. “It was initially used for Strabismus, for weakening the muscles that were already over-working.” Patients noticed that this double vision treatment had a welcome cosmetic side effect, and the drug was eventually used for cosmetic purposes.

Following the same pattern, patients using it to minimize wrinkles were finding that they were having fewer headaches. “Why don’t we try it on some headache patients?… that evidence is anecdotal, let’s do a study. It really does work, let’s use it,” explained Dr. Weinberg.

Another drug that found a new use this way is an eyelash medication called Latisse, which was originally used by glaucoma patients, explained Dr. Weinberg. After taking the drug, those patients notice that they had fuller eyelashes, and an alternate use was created.

What does it cost?

It takes 20-30 units of Botox at $10-$15 per unit to diminish “11’s” on your forehead, but prices vary depending on the doctor and the location. As this is a cosmetic procedure, it’s not covered by provincial health plans. When used for prescribed medical uses, it may be covered by government or private plans.

Dr. Weinberg says for hyperhidrosis it costs “$200-$250 for the injection fee, and if it’s covered, they would then charge the insurance company for the cost of the Botox. Migraines are often covered.”

[danielleboudreauyahoo-blog]

Hipster beards aren’t dead yet, despite claims to the contrary

Hipster, hipster, hipster. You hear this term over and over in magazines, newspapers and online. It’s used either as shorthand for stylish twenty-somethings, or as a cheap shot at young guys with an affected style that’s not nearly as unique as they’d like to think. (No, you didn’t invent plaid shirts).

Hipster on Top, Lumberjack on Bottom http://t.co/iiDLRNel4M pic.twitter.com/ZMjtQhxR6O

— Spiral Meme (@spiralmeme) September 18, 2015

The exact definition is an elusive moving target, almost meaningless in its overuse. But here’s what our vast research (mostly Google) has turned up: it’s the newest form of self-expression for young adults trying to differentiate themselves from the generation before them. The ideal is to be unique — albeit in exactly the same way that the other hipsters are unique.

Hipsters are generally young, so it’s possible the label comes tinged with jealousy, with the oldsters envious of the younger crowd’s carefree existence. If you’re a hipster, you’re probably a millennial living in an urban area. You may not admit to being a hipster, and may even actively deny it. (“I just listen to vinyl for the sound, man.”)

One of the defining characteristics of this trend for men is hair: lots of hair. The man bun is a trend that’s either sexy or alarming, depending on your masculine hair preferences. Those who prefer a clean-cut look might appreciate this video: Stop The Knots, in which style vigilantes attempt to deal with the man-bun epidemic.

A recent article in The Guardian says that beards are over, giving way to a new trend: yuccies, or young urban creatives, who favour a clean-cut look.

But are hipster beards really over? At Sailor Bup’s Barbershop, a trendy men’s barbershop in Halifax, they are decidedly still in fashion. During a recent visit, most of the employees and clients proudly sport facial hair.

Is the trend is waning?

“It hasn’t really died off that much,” says Cory Murphy, a bearded barber at Sailor Bup’s. “I can’t give you a percentage or anything, but there’s definitely a lot more unshaved men walking around these days.”

 Is there a style trend in beards?

“Every beard tells its own story,” says Murphy, explaining that it depends on what type of job the client has. If they’re in a corporate job they’ll need to be more conservative, and some guys in the Navy are allowed to have shorter beards, he says. “If you’re working in a kitchen, you have to wear a beard net, so you’re probably not going to have a bigger beard.”

What about beard maintenance?

There’s more than one would think, says Murphy. “You wash it, beard oil is really good. … there’s actually products like beard shampoo and conditioner that don’t strip all the natural oils out as much as a normal shampoo or conditioner would do.”

Murphy says the sides and mustache need to be trimmed regularly.

“Definitely you need a lot of trims along the sides of the beard, otherwise you’d basically have a ‘beard-fro.’ It gets a little wild, you wake up in the morning, ‘oh god, my beard is out of control right now.’”

Are you getting more guys asking about starting beards?

“There’s definitely a lot of questions,” says Murphy, who has had his current beard for about two years. “It’s kind of neat because as a male when you grow up your dad teaches you how to fight, drink and shave — he doesn’t teach you how to maintain a beard. We’re educating people on what to do when you have one. When I first started growing mine I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.”

[danielleboudreauyahoo-blog]

Five things kids can’t do anymore

People take the “it takes a village to raise a child”adage seriously. The unsolicited advice starts before your kid is born, it doesn’t stop when kids get bigger. Those meddling busybodies sometimes include ex-spouses, social workers and the court system.

 Recently a B.C. Supreme Court judge upheld a ruling that “children under the age of 10 could not be safely left alone,”based on a social worker’s concerns about an eight year old latchkey kid.

 Even if you think your kid is able to be self sufficient, you could find yourself explaining your decision to officials if someone finds your child alone and decides to do something about it, as Lenore Skenazy famously discovered in 2008 when she wrote an article about letting her then-nine-year-old son ride the subway alone in New York. The media frenzy about her approach to parenting eventually led to a blog, a book and a the free-range kids movement that can be considered the opposite of over-protective helicopter parenting.

 If you’re an adult reading this story, presumably you’ve figured out how to get around in the big bad world without Mommy holding your hand. Here are five things that kids used to do:

  Walk to school

Remember when we all walked to school (uphill, both ways, in the snow)? Me too, but that’s a memory a lot of kids today, despite motor vehicle injuries being the leading cause of injury-related death for Canadian children.

Parachute Canada says that while the number of child pedestrian deaths and injuries has declined, it’s mainly because children are walking less. The organization says there are three factors to consider when deciding if a child is able to walk unattended. Their ability to determine and use a safe route, properly assess a vehicle's speed and judge safe gaps in traffic all develop at around 9 to 11 years.

Maybe parents today aren't wrong to be concerned about kids walking alone, especially in busy cities. But there are measure that planners can implement to make roads safer. Lowering speed limits gives drivers and pedestrians more time to react. “At a speed of 30 km/hr, vehicles and pedestrians are able to co-exist with relative safety,”says Parachute Canada. It has been found that in the presence of greater numbers of pedestrians, drivers behave more cautiously, so making cities more pedestrian-friendly is a worthwhile goal for both safety and fitness.

The other concern about unattended children, abductions, is overblown. Stranger abductions are extremely rare, accounting for just 29 of the 41,342 reports of missing children reports in 2014. Strangers are defined as anyone except the child’s parents in this government report.

Stay home alone

  Many adults can tell you that they were left alone —either occasionally, or every day if their parents had to work. They walked home from school and then played, did their homework, tormented their siblings, or were expected to start dinner for the family.

There is no federal regulation about unattended children, and only three Canadian provinces mandate a minimum legal age for leaving children home alone. Kids must have supervision if they’re under 12 in Manitoba and New Brunswick, and if they’re under 16 in Ontario.

Do parents know best or are latchkey kids now banned? It depends. A Winnipeg mother was found not guilty of child abandonment for leaving her six-year-old home for 90 minutes, although the judge said the decision showed poor judgement.

The Canada Safety Council recommends that children under 10 shouldn’t be left alone, and even at that age, “only if the child is mature enough, and there is a responsible adult nearby to help out if needed.”The organization offers Home Alone courses to help prepare kids for unsupervised time.

Interestingly, a 12 year old can babysit younger children. The Red Cross offers babysitting courses for children 11-15.

Ride public transportation

Children under 8 must be accompanied by someone 15 years or older on Greyhound buses, but between 8 and 14 they can ride alone if they meet certain conditions, including having a completed Unaccompanied Child Form, and be on a trip with no transfers.

What about city buses and subways? Montreal’s public system doesn’t have a minimum age for children to ride alone, and neither does Toronto, Vancouver or Halifax. At Halifax Transit “we do not have a policy that stipulates a minimum age for travelling unaccompanied on our buses or ferries,”said Tiffany Chase, Senior Communications Advisor in Halifax.

Cheryl Ziola of Vancouver’s Translink says “we do expect parents to let kids know the safety features of the system, and ensure they have planned the child’s route.”

Get a job, kid

Remember when kids had newspaper routes? It was a great way for kids to earn a few bucks, and it taught them how to be responsible and manage money. These jobs are now usually performed by adults, especially in bigger cities.

Leo Gosse, Reader sales and Marketing Manager of The Telegram in St. John’s, says that TC Media still employs youth carriers to deliver in small markets across Atlantic Canada, but their numbers have decreased since the paper changed its delivery time a few years ago. “We were an evening paper for 130 years and had a lot of youth carriers. When we converted to morning, we lost a portion of youth carriers…but we have maintained approximately 35 to 40 per cent of our youth carrier group, and still actively recruit through schools and community groups,”he said.

These smaller papers work with kids as young as 10 or 11 as part of a family that delivers the paper. Fosse explained that parents like to have their kids do a paper route for their first paycheque, just as they did as children. The routes take 30 to 35 minutes per day and pay $40 to $60 biweekly.

The rules about employing children are provincially regulated. In Ontario, employers are prohibited from employing children under the age of 16 years during school hours. In B.C., it is against the law to employ a child aged 12 to 14 for more than seven hours per day.

Pile into the car

Did you squeeze into the back of the station wagon with your friends or siblings? Help Dad steer the car while sitting on his lap? Or for even more fun, jump in the back of a pickup truck for a ride around town?

Safety regulations now prohibit such fun - and for good reason. Transport Canada has clear guidelines that outline the right car seats for children of all sizes.

The number of deaths on roads has decreased significantly since the mid-1970s, when more than 6000 Canadians died each year in traffic-related incidents. Now fewer than 2500 die each year on our roads, thanks to improved vehicle standards, divided highways and improved medical treatment of crash victims.

[danielleboudreauyahoo-blog]

There’s an online dating site for everyone, but do they work?

Of all the online dating photos, we laugh at the prison photos the most.

I have a brave friend who has been sharing details of her online dating adventures, and the potential mates she has found are truly mind boggling. She’s had date requests from convicts, men wearing wedding rings in their profile photos, and scary-looking guys with scarier weapons. It appears that just about everyone is looking for love online.

Dating websites have been around for years, with match.com boasting a 20 year run in the business, and online and mobile dating is a booming business. In July The Match Group, which owns match.com, OkCupid and Tinder, bought rival Plenty of Fish for $575-million (U.S.).

Started in 2003 in founder Markus Frind’s Vancouver apartment, Plenty of Fish claims to be the biggest worldwide, with over 90 million registered users. The Wall Street Journal reported that the services are expected to rake in $1.17-billion in revenue this year, up 10 per cent over 2014, with dating apps increasing at the same rate to $628.8-million.

Dating websites aren’t shy about bragging about themselves. According to its website, match.com has 2.39 million subscribers in North America, a five per cent year-over-year increase. AYI.com claims to be “one of the largest online dating websites on the Internet with more than 70 million installed users and over 3 million fans,” and it offers a completely integrated Facebook App, iPhone App, Android App and website.”

These sites find matches for anyone gay or straight, but others such as gaydating.com and gaydar.net obviously cater solely to gay daters.

But it’s not just the big brands in this game. Others, like the clearly named sites VeggieConnection.com, golfmates.com and FarmersOnly.com, cater to a smaller niche clientele.

A few more niche sites

The Internet is a blessing for people who may not fit the definition of “normal,” and there’s a place for everyone. For example:

•   beautifulpeople.com, where new members first have to be rated as attractive enough to join.

•   gk2gk.com (Geek to geek): “Whether you're into Star Wars, Star Trek, Anime, or Cosplay, you'll be sure to find hot singles who share the same passions and interests as you.”

•   Seekingarrangement.com matches “sugar daddies” with “sugar babies” for “mutually beneficial relationships.”

•   SparkNetworks matches singles who want to meet someone of the same faith. They have a number of dedicated sites, including ChristianMingle, JDate for Jewish singles and LDSsingles for Mormons.

•   Of course if you have religious sites, the existence of atheistpassions.com isn’t surprising. That site is part of the Passions Network of more than 250 dating and social networking sites where you’ll find like-minded food lovers and coffee drinkers, goth and zombie aficionados, photographers, music lovers and in the just for fun category, pirates, mullets, ninjas and superheroes.

•   The site that claims to be the largest niche dating site in the world, Ashley Madison, caters to married people seeking dates. It claims to have “40,860,000 anonymous members!” who but considering their recent well-publicized leak, they may have to rethink that claim.

What are online daters looking for?  

There are dating sites for every need and desire, from quick hookups to marriages. Who searches for mates online, and what exactly are they looking for? It depends. A lot.

A recent poll conducted by Coffee Meets Bagel, a free dating service that matches members with one person per day, says 73 per cent of respondents in Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver said they are looking for a relationship, and nine per cent said they’re searching for a spouse.

The poll found that Toronto men are the most promiscuous, or at least they’d like to be, with 65 per cent willing to have sex on the first date. Only 20 per cent of women in that city willing to go all the way on the first date. Montrealers are more closely matched, with 55 per cent of men and 44 per cent of women in agreement about sex on the first date.

 Do dating sites work?

Unsurprisingly, the various dating websites we researched said that yes, online dating works. Most claim to have complicated algorithms that help find your perfect match.

According to match.com, one in four relationships begin online; and one in six new marriages are a result of an online dating site.

PlentyOfFish boasts that they create one million relationships every year, AYI claims it has 10,000 new users per day, and a Tinder spokesperson says 26 million matches are made each day on its site. 

“To date, there have been more than eight billion matches made on Tinder,” he says, explaining that “a match happens when two users mutually swipe right or 'like' each other. If a match is made, users can message each other through Tinder.”

Online daters gain access to more potential mates than people used to have, when couples would be introduced to each other by family, friends or coworkers, or meet at bars, restaurants or school.

But does access to a greater pool of pool of daters help? Maybe not, says the Washington Post, citing analysis from Michigan State University that found that online dating led to fewer committed relationships than offline dating.

Match.com claims that almost 50 per cent of singles have tried their hand at online dating. Ultimately, it’s simply a way to be introduced to new people - what you do after that is up to you.

But beware: as the Ashley Madison affair has shown, not everything in the world of online dating is as it seems. One Toronto Life reporter this week found out that the whole premise of an article the magazine published around online dating and sugar daddies had been manipulated by Ashley Madison’s parent company. 

[danielleboudreauyahoo-blog]

Teeth whitening products: what you need to know to do it safely

(Thinkstock photo)

What do high-end hairstyles, waxing, spa treatments and Botox have in common? Vanity. It’s the reason for many painful, time-consuming and expensive cosmetic modifications.

Vanity also explains the recent popularity of teeth-whitening products. Thanks to movie stars and Photoshopped advertisements, most people think of teeth as pure white, but their natural colour is somewhere between light grey and yellowish. Age, tobacco, food and drinks such as coffee and red wine can all affect the colour.

If you’re looking to polish your smile, there are two categories of whitening products, says the Canadian Dental Association: surface whiteners and bleaches.

Surface whiteners, which are typically sold as either toothpaste or chewing gum, use abrasives to remove surface stains. Since they are just a finer version of the products found in regular toothpaste, their effectiveness is limited. Surface stains are extrinsic colouring, while intrinsic refers to the colour of the whole tooth which can only be changed with bleaching products.

Bleaches should be administered under a dentist’s care. All three methods are peroxide based and can alter the colour of the teeth. You can choose to have a dental bleach that works with light or heat; a custom mouthguard filled with a bleaching agent; or brush with a bleaching product. Along with whitening living teeth, dentists can also whiten teeth that have had root canals.

Drugstore products vs. dentist-prescribed

With over-the-counter products, the concentration of peroxide is lower than what you might find in the products a dentist uses, but it’s basically the same process, explained Dr. Euan Swan of the Canadian Dental Association (CDA). Over-the-counter whitening options include special toothpastes, gels, strips and rinses.

Why should I talk to my dentist before whitening?

There are factors the average drugstore shopper may not be aware of when choosing a whitening product. “A crown is natural enamel, another tooth may have a filling or a crown or a veneer, and all of those materials are going to change colour to a different degree, so you need to be aware of what you’re trying to do,” says Swan.

Is teeth whitening safe?

Dr. Swan said that the products would be approved for use by Health Canada, but yes, they are safe when used according to the instructions.  

However the CDA does caution that the effects of long-term tooth bleaching are unknown and should be studied, as many people will use the treatments over and over as results are not permanent.

The American Dental Association (ADA) also cautions that not enough long term information is available “to support unsupervised long-term and/or repeated use of bleaching products.”

When asked for a comment about the safety of over-the-counter whitening products, a P&G spokesperson said that “Crest Whitestrips have been safely marketed in the U.S. for over 14 years with more than two billion safe uses. Crest Whitestrips have been clinically tested extensively, in over 200 clinical studies and are considered safe for as directed use and foreseeable use. The peroxide levels are in line with U.S. laws. P&G Oral-Care conducted studies that do indicate that the peroxide levels degrade extremely rapidly in the saliva during the usage.”

Does it hurt?

Teeth whiteners can cause some sensitivity of the teeth and surrounding soft tissue in the mouth, but their effects are “transient,” says the CDA.

“As a general rule, if you have teeth sensitive to whitening, stick to products with lower peroxide levels, around five to six per cent, and shorter application times,” says P&G spokesperson Kris Parlett in an email. P&G manufactures Crest dental products.

“Using even the mildest products can cause tooth whitening sensitivity for some people. One of the best ways to minimize discomfort is to stick with room temperature beverages just after whitening. Extremely hot or extremely cold beverages can cause painful sensitivity,” Parlett says.

Are there any people who shouldn't use whitening products?

“Most at-home teeth whitening products are recommended for those 12 years of age or older,” says Parlett. “Those who are younger than 12 years, pregnant, or have unfilled cavities, gum disease, or other dental problems are recommended to seek a dentist’s counsel before exploring tooth whitening options.”

There has been no testing on pregnant women who use these products, so it’s best if expectant mothers wait until after they’ve had their baby to use bleaching products, suggests Swan.

Are there any extreme dangers associated with whitening? “If a product was used too frequently on a tooth, and if the root surface of the tooth was exposed to the peroxide, then the peroxide might penetrate into the tooth and affect the pulp tissue inside the tooth, and that might cause an adverse pulp reaction, which would lead to an inflammation of the pulp which would perhaps lead to a root canal ... but I’m speculating, I’ve never seen a patient in that situation,” Swan said.

What about the man with the hole in his throat?

A man in England was recently left with a hole in his throat after using a teeth whitening kit. Jake Barrett said he had a negative reaction to Crest 1-Hour Express Strips, and the surgery to remove a grape-sized sac of peroxide under his tongue was done through an incision in his chin. He was in hospital for ten days, and later had another teeth-whitening procedure done at a beauty salon.

When asked about the incident, a P&G spokesperson said “Nothing is more important to P&G than the wellbeing and safety of the people who use our products. We’re sorry to hear about Mr. Bartlett’s experience and wish him a full recovery, but we have not yet been able to reach him to understand the facts and the potential cause.”

When asked to speculate on a possible cause of this incident, Dr. Swan said that “my guess is he overused the products, or something went terribly wrong with his use of the product,” but noted that he has not examined the man.