[time-left-to-kill]

et tu brute?

[datadegroove-deactivated2026042]

penis isn't real. pussy isn't even real. the only thing that is real, is the pleasure of combat

[prettyfunnyy]

[kaijuyuri]

i like how all cats regardless of species can either look rlly badass and cool or just incredibly silly stupid

[kaijuyuri]

my proof

[victusinveritas]

[atypical-snowman]

[crown-princess-carrion]

rejoice! it is fluffy raptorgirl friday

[miriel-therindes]

its me boy im the seventh cool textile hobby you wanna pick up speaking to you inside your brain listen to me boy you DO have time for me you wanna do me so bad

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[avelera]

I’m a big fan of reenactment archaeology. I think there’s a lot to be said for recreating a scenario to better understand decisions made in generations past. Usually there’s an inherent logic to them.

Which is to say, that now that I have a baby of my own, I understand so much better the common cultural practice in which unmarried women wear their hair loose and uncovered, while married women have their hair covered and/or bound back.

I doubt it was just for modesty, oh no. No, my friends, I see now that the reason for this common practice of mothers binding back their hair is because there is nothing, I mean nothing, a baby love more than YANKING EVERY STRAND OF HAIR THAT COMES WITHIN GRABBING DISTANCE OF THEIR STICKY, SWEATY, AND IMPOSSIBLY STRONG LITTLE HANDS.

[memewhore]

[andhumanslovedstories]

Anyway shoutout to birthright citizenship. Also shoutout to all forms of naturalization. The egalitarian promise of America has been that if you want to be American, you can be American. Not a politically neutral promise, but not a universally sinister one. You got Emma Lazarus’s poem at the base of the Statue of Liberty. Come on over. You can be an American. Anyone can be an American. And every American is the same kind of American. At our best we make that process (legally, culturally, logistically, psychologically, ethically) easier. At our worst we make it harder. Often we’re doing both at once.

My grandparents after immigrating didn’t consider themselves Korean-American or French-American. They were Americans. That they were also Korean and French was important but unrelated. Their American identity needed no hyphen or asterix next to it because the idea of being American included the idea that’d you’d been somewhere else before and you brought that place with you. At one point, we moved away from the melting pot metaphor into the like “Great American Mixed Salad,” where instead of melding into one big soup, all the ingredients remain distinct but come together to form a unified taste. I get the metaphor, I like the metaphor—I think it’s weaker poetically but that’s a separate matter—but there’s something beautiful about the melding. Our ingredients come together to make something new. You can scoop out the chunks you don’t like, but you’ll never undo what they did to the broth.

I know the dark side of everything I’m saying. I know the promise hasn’t been kept. I know the promise in and of itself is horrific to some people, the great American conglomerate swallow up everything in its path. I know this land wasn’t some terra nullius tabula rasa for us to take and mold as we pleased, no harm, no foul. I know, I know, I know, I promise that I know. I also think there are ways these ideas can and have been beautiful, meaningful, important, aspirational in the best ways, ideals that guide the actual nation we have towards that North Star of a more perfect union. You can love a place without excusing it. Those ideas can survive people trying to torture them to death. Abolitionists were as American as slavers, and later we enshrined in the constitution that those we’d enslaved were just as American too, and we used that amendment to outlaw racial segregation in public schools, to legalize interracial marriage and later gay marriage, to affirm the federal right to abortion. Until we took that last one away. I know.

Nothing gets to be simple, and no work is ever done. Find me a nation where that isn’t the case and I’ll move there. Until then, I’ve got a date with 100 mg of weed, the pirated Hamilton pro shot, and a bowl of vanilla ice cream with strawberries in it. The ice cream should also have blueberries technically if I wanted the full red, white, and blue experience, but no one in this house was enthusiastic about blueberries so we simply didn’t get them. We get to decide that the America sundae tastes like. I can’t believe that’s the note I’m gonna end on. I’m just so psyched to eat that sundae. You decide how much of a metaphor that is. Happy fourth, to those who celebrate.

[egberts]

also part of growing up is realizing that the embarrassing music you liked in your early teen years still goes hard as hell

[sergle]

this album

[cerastes]

I wasn't sure about letting this Hydromancer into the party at first, but it turns out her sword arm is unparalleled, and she only dabbled into Hydromancy so she could intentionally contain the enemy's blood after she rained countless slashes upon them like a meteor shower on the clear night sky for the express purpose of striking a pose, muttering "zan", and then releasing all of the blood on their wounds at once in a spectacle that the villager elder described "sick as fuck".

[sexhaver]

not my pic but this is the cleanest Storrowing i've ever seen. hats and roofs off to this unknown rental truck driver for full sending it with 0 hesitation

[massachusetts-official]

Official Post of Massachusetts

[victusinveritas]

[heat--end]

i haaaate being avoidant. it makes you feel like the world's biggest jackass whenever someone tries to talk to you or whatever and you just Freeze Up

[heat--end]

Oh sorry i took a long ass time to reply and didnt say anything. I got arbitrarily scared and tired myself out so now i cant say much. Oopsie teehee. it makes you feel like a huge dickhead