Das Brötchen

✨Welcome to the funny side✨

[fleetwood-mac-andcheese]

[itsbasil]

you put those tags on this post where they belong

[beardedmrbean]

Periscope up

[birds-in-posts]

Green heron (Butorides virescens)

[flareonfloof]

birds have secret bones we're not allowed to know about

[sonic-colours]

contender for stupidest fucking line in sonic history

[freshlydelivereddarce]

close second

[contemptible-scoundrel]

Ccan i hit?

I would parry every blow?

[gonzos-humansona]

Yesterday my little brother told me something very sweet and touching, that when he was a kid and had nightmares about monsters chasing him or whatever he would be able to end the nightmare by finding me in the dream and I would protect him by fighting off the zombies, or carrying him away. This is adorable, and makes me feel like the greatest older sibling in the world, but the hilarious thing is that when I was a kid I had nightmares of needing to save him from zombies and such. so many dreams where he was in trouble and I needed to save him. Like my nightmares began where his ended. Low key I think he mastered the ability to psychically transfer his nightmare to me as a child and I'm kind of annoyed with him.

[escuerzoresucitado]

shooo

[mistbjorn]

[crowscriven]

After all the talk about Microwave For One on another post of mine, I figured it was a good time to bring out this gem. The original was published in 1978, and this "revised edition" is from 1988. @tamber-tales and I found it in a free pile a couple years back. It still smells very strongly of weed, which isn't exactly uncommon for free pile items in this area, but feels especially fitting for this cookbook.

Let's see what horrors await...

[crowscriven]

The introductory section talks about the science of microwaves, which is pretty cool!

...oh

Gonna be honest I felt like a fool having to search "is aluminum foil microwave safe" after reading this but it turns out the answer is "technically yes but if you mess it up and don't follow these precise safety guidelines there will be explosions." This cookbook mentions none of these guidelines.

"The only reason not to use metal pans in the microwave is the fact that it slows down cooking. Totally safe though."

Goodness this gives me so much anxiety as someone raised with the mentality of "if anything metal goes in the microwave both the appliance and you will probably die instantly."

[tamber-tales]

One time when I was sick as a kid, I put a whole metal pot of soup in the microwave to heat it up. And nothing really happened except the plastic handle melted a bit. Well, and it kinda fucked up the microwave. Never heated the same afterwards. But it didn’t explode!

[crowscriven]

Adding this to the list of "things I learned to fear as a child that actually aren't that bad" I guess

Anyways, here, have an ominously expanding marshmallow.

[crowscriven]

The example image for defrosting is, inexplicably, a luminous block of ice full of olives, garlic(?), and either shrimp or peach slices. And honestly, I don't want to know which it is.

Also, please enjoy the most ominous cup of spiced cider I've ever seen. Why did you take this picture from that angle. Why does the cinnamon stick look like a knife. I have questions but I'm afraid this looming hot beverage is about to stab me.

[crowscriven]

Poultry time. I don't know why, but this image is deeply unsettling to me. Three horrible naked creatures standing at attention, watching you.

If microwaving an entire raw chicken isn't enough, how about a turkey?

[muttsys-deactivated20260425]

Ok*reduces you to a simmer* go rest for a while

[lesmiserabelles]

shout-out to the person i overheard today rushing into an antiques shop to ask, very urgently, ‘do you have any silver crosses?’. wishing you well in your fight against the creatures of darkness, friend

[growingsucculents]

Legs

[sweetchimera-art]

escape

[sacrificethemtothesquid]

[1five1two]

[decadent-hag]

[thememedaddy]

[amvs]

[amvs]

same this shit rocks

[were--ralph]

this is genuinely one of my favorite videos

[slightly-awkward-sunshine]

My stepdad is so fucking funny sometimes

[talesfromtreatment]

I... I don't think the patient's weight got entered correctly. Just a hunch

[wimpud]

please, my dog, he is sick

[talesfromtreatment]

Every single note and comment is comedy gold and I'm wheezing from laughing so hard

[awaggaa]

[socialmaya]

[lierdumoa]

This is why I have no sympathy whatsoever for anti-intellectuals who complain when discussion posts use too much academic language. "You can't expect me to whip out a dictionary every time you post—" BITCH I LOOKED UP "AHEGAO" FOR YOU. OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF MY HEART.

[fursasaida]

adult life is truly just thinking “I NEED TO CLEAN” while dealing with the 17 other things that have a hard deadline