Say What? @daysofwineanddirtylaundry - Tumblr Blog

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

endreams-s

Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?

Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.

Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok

honeypressed

Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts

Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes

Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks

moonreflectioninthefragglepond

A++ addition

tetsuskitten

Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they’re writing* babe, i’m not sure if this would actually work?

Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you’re doing great

tigerliliesandcherryblossoms

I LOVE THIS

vmohlere

Oh no, murder comedy is my jam

laziestofthedreamers

I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It’d be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gullible, and on top of it they’re a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it’s completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work.

Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it’s a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there’s something to the theory, but it’s all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author’s home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don’t seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that’s it. Most they do is leave for groceries.

So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he’ll FINALLY have proof.

pamgkrthwrites

Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal.

“You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer.”

Serial killer breaths in. “Look-”

ladyhavilliard

…perfect

outerspacekake

I don’t like actual murder mysteries, but this is perfect

yourpotatotwiceremooved

THE ORIGINAL POST HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY

reidneedsahug

AFTER YEARS I HAVE FOUND IT, BEHOLD, MY BRETHREN

thedevilsfamiliar

@scar-queen-owl @leal-love-lace @todorokitops @girlboss-sukuna

blue-starlight

I’VE ONLY EVER SEEN SCREENSHOTS THIS POST IS LEGENDARY

macbeth-s

get yourself a girl that’s as ride or die as dina

handweavers

the concept of people being born in the 00s and being on this website or the internet in general will never stop giving me a minor heart attack every time bc my brain stopped processing time in like 2008 so anyone born in like 2003 is automatically assumed to be in kindergarten until i realize they're old enough to drive

handweavers

someone: im 16

me: ok cool

someone: that means i was born in 2003

me:

johnmulaneys

baby lynx breaks out, mama lynx comes to the rescue

culturistjack-deactivated201804

I'd very much like to punch a feminist.

I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist. It’d bring me great joy.

olisaurusrex

I’m 6’2 and weigh 180lbs

ready when you are

thattallsummonerguy

Or if you’d like to have some more options….

I’m 6’4” 228 pounds and have 9 years of combined martial arts training and 3 years of being a Line Backer in football. Just in case you are looking for variety.

wontbeafraid-deactivated2014041

what about a lady and a feminist. warning, combatives certified soldier.

nevergenders

im tiny, i’m like 5′4 and 130 lbs but u can fight me too

scumbagsblog

Reblogging for the last one cuz that’s adorable

likeits1995

SO PROUD

ghost--ranger

The Fantastic 4 we deserve

crimezi

OMG IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREEN SHOTS

stars-for-thought

We will all protect the small one.

cover-your-ears

I stan

keithiskogained-deactivated2019

it got better!!

babygoose-deactivated20240106

plot-twist: the small one could actually kick everyone’s ass

raccooncryptidd

If one day I see this on my dash and DON’T reblog it assume I’m dead.

postmastered

the small one is hiding an absolutely ripped torso under that shirt

tigerleggies-deactivated2019121

This is the perfect superhero team marvel couldn’t give us

runcibility

A Guide to the 2020 Democratic Candidates You Should Not Vote For

https://medium.com/@westonpagano/a-guide-to-the-2020-democratic-candidates-you-should-not-vote-for-c1c6e4c9c26

This article is a fantastically long list of receipts for bad behavior by these candidates. I cannot overstate how full this list is.

Do you want to cover Joe Biden’s support of racism/racist policies, sexism, and support against roe vs wade? It’s all there and more.

You want to know about how Kamala Harris has absolutely sided with police brutality, criminalization of drugs and sex workers, perpetuated prison-for-profit, and is responsible for horrible violence done against trans people? It’s all there and more.

Wanna learn how Pete Buttigieg’s support for racist policing, happily and publicly accepted lobbyist money, and supports increased militarization at home and abroad? It’s all there and more.

Didn’t know about Beto O’rourke has actively pursued and profited from gentrification projects, has pandered to republican donors with right wing policies and statements, has consistently supported deregulation of Wall Street, and supports “Blue Lives Matter”? It’s all there and more.

Come November, make no mistake, it’s time to vote against Trump. But we have to fight against candidates that support policies that made Trumpism rise. We have to support candidates that will do more than give weak lip service just to coast into office. We have to support candidates that will fight against militarization and the very real threat of climate change.

There’s a lot on the line, so we have to ask a lot of our candidates. And these four? They’re not up to the task of leadership for what we can see in front of us, and what’s coming over the horizon.

These people do not deserve your vote. Call them out, and use these receipts to educate your friends, families, and acquaintances.

eastasiansonwesternscreen

2018 - a year in review

reverseracism

New St. Louis County prosecutor fires some staff | Nation | stltoday.com

bibliophile-06

THE ONLY WALL THAT DESERVES ATTENTION GOING INTO 2019

supersonicart

25 Days of Christmas with INPRNT: Jeff Christensen.

For Supersonic Art’s twenty-second selection in our annual 25 Days of Christmas with INPRNT, I’ve chosen the surreal work of artist Jeff Christensen; all of which are available as fine art prints in his INPRNT Shop.

Be sure to follow INPRNT on Tumblr, too!

its-spelled-maille

How much do weapons weigh?

Not as much as you might think.

Games often overestimate how much a sword or an axe weighs, and the assumption that many people make is that this lump of steel in your hand is a great burden, although this assumption has been working is way out.

The simple fact of the matter is, medieval weapons are quite light.

The medieval Arming Sword, the single most common sword of the middle ages. One handed, ext to carry, you wouldn’t expect this one to be that heavy, and it isn’t. Arming Swords tend to weigh between 3 and 4 pounds / 1⅓ and 1.8kg, that’s it! This particular example weighs 3 lbs. 11 oz / 1.6kg.

The Longsword, a much longer weapon than the Arming Sword, as the name implies, and obviously much heavier. But it’s not.

Standard Longswords, especially later period ones designed more for thrusting (like the one pictured above,) can be shockingly light. They can weigh in the same range as arming swords, although they can weigh more as well.

Longswords tend to sit between 3 and 5 pounds / 1⅓ and 2.25kg, and this example is 3 lbs. 7oz. / 1.5kg meaning it weighs less than the Arming Sword pictured before!

The Rapier, a famously light and nimble weapon that is also clouded in a fog of incorrect assumptions. The rapier is a long weapon. This example measures 45 inches in the blade and isn’t even among the longest I’ve seen.

Including all that weight from the steel basket around your hand, and it starts to add up. Rapiers can however be quite light, so including the extremes of the spectrum you end up with a range of between 2.5 pounds and 5 pounds / 1.1 and 2.25kg. This particular example is on the lighter side, weighing 2 lbs. 13 oz / 1.3kg.

The Zweihander, the famous greatsword, surely this is a much heavier weapons! Well of course it’s heavier than the others, the entire thing is five and a half feet tall, however they are deceptively light.

Zweihander weigh, on average, 6 pounds / 2.7kg. That’s it, only 6 pounds. Some on the heavier side weigh about 7lbs / 3.1kg, but they rarely exceed that. This example weighs 6 lbs. 2 oz. / 2.8kg.

Moving away from swords, axes will surely be heavier, won’t they? Think again.

There is an important distinction between battle axes and wood cutting axes. Battle Axe heads tend to be thin, very thin, good for cutting flesh and bone, and easier to wield. Wood cutting heads are wider so as to be more robust, and split wood open more efficiently, and let’s not even talk about splitting mauls.

As such, one handed battle aces like this tend only to weigh between 1 and 4 pounds / 0.45 and 1.8kg. They can be very very light! The example is 1 lb. 7 oz. / 0.65kg.

Warhammer even tend to stick to that same range, between 1 and 4 pounds / 0.45 and 1.80. This example is 2 lbs. 8 oz / 1.15kg.

It’s only once you reach polearms that you begin getting heavier weights. The weights of a polearm is greatly changed by the length of it’s shaft, which can vary greatly, so these numbers will be somewhat more flexible.

Spears tend to be the lightest polearms, often weighing between 3 and 6 pounds / 1.⅓ and 2.7kg, with this example coming in at 4 lbs. even / 1.8kg.

Poleaxes, tending to be on the shorter end of polearms, also tend to be lighter. Interestingly, the examples I’ve seen are quite consistent, and all weigh between 6 and 7 pounds / 2.7 and 3.175kg, though greater variation is possible. This example weighs 6 lbs. 9 oz / 3kg.

Halberds tend to be even heavier, though examples in museums tend to have hafts that are too short simply for storage and display purposes.

As such, the weights tend to be somewhat off, however we know from period sources and good modern reproductions that properly sized balberds tend to be about 8 pounds. This museum piece fits the “too light” mould, and weighs 5 lbs. 10 oz / 2.5kg.

For the purposes of giving you (the reader) a proper appreciation of what the pike is, I elected to not use a museum photo for this one, so you can see their full scale.

The pike is a massive weapon, and these piles being used by reenactors in this photo are quite short. On the shorter end, they measured over 10 feet / 3m in length, and on the lookout get end occasionally hit 30 feet / 9.1m !

These could be the heaviest melee weapons typically used in medieval/renaissance warfare, and even these only weigh between 5 and 13 pounds / 2.25 and 5.9kg.

With your heaviest weapons only weighing 13 pounds at their most extreme, this paints a good picture of how light these hand weapons tended to be. Something for RPG and video game developers to keep in mind in the future.

- mod Armet

ruinedchildhood

An epic saga

isaimlozano

juanin-pro

toadscools

i dont know how to explain this but. this might be me. i had a brown hoodie exactly like that. the phone on the table? i had a black and white case like that when i was like 12. my middle school’s classrooms looked like that. this literally might be a picture of me in 7th grade, shoveling pasta directly from a ziploc bag into my mouth like some sort of goblin, reblogged by twelve thousand people on the worst website known to mankind. and i dont know how to deal with this

perfectlygenericblog

What’s interesting here is that there’s only a possibility that this is them in the picture.

This means one of two things:

1) They remember doing this, but believe it to be so commonplace that it could be literally anyone in that photo. Like if you saw a picture of someone reading a book, you wouldn’t be like “Hey, I read a book once! That must be me in that picture!” because lots of people have read books.

In this case, I bet their belief is based on personal experience. Perhaps there’s a town out there where people regularly eat pasta from a bag in class. Or even a secret society of such people living all over the globe.

2) They don’t remember doing this, but they’ve done so many bizarre (yet still extremely relatable) things that this could very well be one of them. This wasn’t the most noteworthy thing that happened to them that week. There were so many other, stranger, bigger things going on that they did remember, and this event simply wasn’t important enough to commit to memory.

In this case, they’re just out there living their life. Society told them “don’t eat pasta from a ziploc bag in class”, but did they let that stop them? No. They have bigger fish to fry.

toadscools

i’ve never been fucking obliterated like this before. i dont know what to do. how do i go on when @perfectlygenericblog produced a fucking literary analysis of my life, wholly accurate, from one picture and my reaction to it. i’m getting this tattooed on my forearm

catchymemes

Father uses sons’ drawings as inspiration for anime transformations

By: Thomas Romain (twitter | instagram | youtube | patreon)

cosmickeyframe

Wholesome and badass

ambris

The father’s artistic talent is clearly on display here, but I’m actually really impressed with this kid’s wild imagination. Many of his drawings are both conceptually unique and coherent.