haven’t seen anyone else do it yet so i tried my best
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Keni
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DEAR READER
ojovivo
taylor price
Jules of Nature

JBB: An Artblog!
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
almost home
One Nice Bug Per Day
Cosmic Funnies

if i look back, i am lost
i don't do bad sauce passes
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Cosimo Galluzzi

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@dcupenguin
haven’t seen anyone else do it yet so i tried my best
*at the strip club* dancer: can i help you with something honey? me: yes i would like a dance *45 minutes later* me: and as the smoke settles and we are left to wonder if jason made it out of the rubble alive we watch a scene of his first time wearing the robin suit bruce watching him like a proud father in the final moments of the movie we pan out into the blackness of the bat cave left to wonder if batman’s moral code really is as moral as it appears dancer: so batman still wouldn’t kill the joker after everything he did to jason? after all the pain he caused? me: it appears not diamond it. appears. not.
i try not to think too much about justice league but…how do you screw up the beautifully constructed mythology that man of steel and especially batman v superman set up THAT badly? we went from “you will give the people an ideal to strive towards” to “hope is like car keys”. we went from the important nuanced message during the must there be a superman sequence to “i’m a big fan of justice”.
we went from the godly score of bvs thanks to the collab between junkie and hans to…avengers and 2003 hulk scores revamped a la danny “there’s only one batman theme which is mine” (lmao arrogant much) elfman. we went from cinematography that brought baroque paintings to life to horrid cgi and scenes that were forcibly brightened during the reshoots. we went from zack, chris, tom, and hans,,,to joss and danny. i truly can’t name a bigger downgrade. why was this allowed to happen…
Reasons to be happy today:
Y’all know how every single Wayne child is the maximum amount of dramatic? A truly impressive and extra amount? It’s because they interact almost solely with superheroes and super villains, both of whom speak in full monologues by design. It’s a pretty obvious cause to effect relationship, right?
The less obvious part is the true cause of every single bit of it: superheroes, super villains, Wayne children, even the overwhelmingly dramatic aesthetic of Gotham itself. One man is responsible, and his name is Bruce Wayne.
Listen, Gotham City is Like That because it’s 100% impossible to live a normal life when there’s a dude in a bat suit posing dramatically on your rooftop. You can’t do it. It’s also impossible to fight said man in a bat suit without monologuing back at him when he starts yelling about Justice and Morality and whatever the hell else he’s on about this week. Furthermore, it is absolutely impossible to be friends with that dude without absorbing the drama, and it’s even more impossible to peacefully be his child.
Honestly? The marketing team is just trying to have a normal quarter meeting, but nooooo, Tim and Damian can’t make it through thirty minutes without “YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED ME WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE,” and frankly this is not what they signed up for. Why do they all talk like that?
Yeah, it’s Bruce’s fault.
But why does Bruce talk like that? That one comes down to two factors: the obvious death of his parents and the man that ended up raising him. You see Alfred Pennyworth is a classically trained Shakespearean actor, and that was bound to bleed over.
After his parents’ deaths, when Bruce was at his lowest, he remembered all his favorite books. All those heroes suffered, right? Most of them lost everything, but they did the right thing anyway. It helped them, and it helped other people.
And when Bruce decided that he wanted to be a hero, the voice in his head that told him how a hero sounds was Alfred’s. Adventure sounds like Alfred reading The Count of Monte Cristo by flashlight on a stormy night when Bruce couldn’t sleep in the thunder. Heroism sounds like Alfred reciting the legend of Arthur over breakfast on a winter morning while the fog rolls past the windows. Destiny looks like Alfred in a blanket cape, brandishing a stick like a sword– “Let the angel whom thou still has served tell thee, Macduff was from his mother’s womb untimely ripped!”
So yeah, Bruce is a little over the top, but who can blame him? He learned from the best.
Batfamily in Batman #33
Wally not happy with Dick and his assorted Batshit
me: i’m really not in the christmas spirit, honestly. i’m not having a good year
dennis o’neil:
me: is that batman coming down someone’s chimney to beat their ass like Justice Claus
denny o’neil, a god among men: ye
me: holy shit
Detective Comics #457, “There is No Hope in Crime Alley”
canon Fact: batman is recovering from what i Assume is depression and/or some other mental illness! =D
My nayme is Flash
And fast I goe
But somtymes I
am just tu slo
Not fast enuff
tu fite the cryme
and so insted
I fuk up tyme
gotham panel nycc 2017
take two because i messed it up last time oops
•the whole cast is very large holy shit •next week includes anubis!! •ben mckenzie was working on the script for next weeks episode for months, including on his honeymoon with morena!! •walls are closing in a little for jim, he doesn’t have a lot of allies left •crystal says sofia definitely HAS feelings for jim, but we’re not quite sure how it’ll play out. crystal wants to know why it’s never acknowledged that him killed her brother •david LOVES playing the billionaire brat, says there’s more of that to come!! there’s a scene in episode seven we should be looking forward to!! (includes him dancing) •bruce/selina is in tatters, but a batcat connection could be in the future •ben: GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT •camren says selina is fed up and wants to focus on herself, she couldn’t care less about bruce right now •sean pertwee is officially “hot alfred” •we’re going to learn more about alfred’s backstory this year, we’ll see a new side of him and understand why he became a butler •ben: sean is really pretty •bullock has lost a lot, he doesn’t know how the new underworld works since he lost all the people he was used to (fish, falcone, maroni). he’s making the safest bets he can because he’s in uncertain waters, but it puts him and harvey on a collision course •more penguin/trump jokes (per usual). robin says it’s fun playing “the second most crazy politician in america” •jim gordon is his main adversary this season, almost full circle because that’s where they both started. jim and penguin both don’t want chaos but they both want to control gotham differently •robin and david love working together, they’ve had more scenes together this season than in the whole show!! oswald is going to quickly figure out that bruce is going to be a thorn in his side •david says a major theme in gotham this year is CONTROL, and everyone has a different opinion on how to protect the gothamited (bruce’s is the best obviously bc he wins) •we’ll be seeing lee in episode five, but we won’t recognize her at first glance. she’s changed a lot, and she hasn’t been the same since the virus, but she couldn’t stay away from gotham. she’s going to be a part of the narrows to help people who were hurt during the virus and she’s in a fight club! •lucius is officially the most sane character in gotham, chris is very excited to help keep thomas wayne’s son safe. he’ll continue to stay involved in helping bruce develop tech •cory thinks oswald hated ed because he loves him so much. he misses working with robin a lot, but he loved the scene where robin flipped out after he escaped. •erin says barbara will always be a bit insane, but she came back from the lazarus pit so she’s a little different (a lot more zen, knows martial arts) and ras has her back. she’s still got bits of the barbara in her, but she’s more of a business woman now and she knows she needs her family (tabitha and selina) and she still wants to be on top. •jessica says that tabitha doesn’t really want to forgive barbara but she understands that she’s stronger with barbara and she needs allies. •even though barbara and tabitha are the parents of this family, selina’s the one who’s able to calm down a situation. •solomon grundy arrives this thursday!! drew says it’s butch in there somewhere but he doesn’t remember anything (hence his team up with butch). drew says solomon/ed/lee is the dream team you didn’t know you needed it. •ben didn’t know that morena’s mom played magenta in a production of rocky horror picture show •donal used to be an altar boy in rome •david had an 102 fever when he auditioned for gotham •robin’s been to the north pole, which cory doesn’t think exists •sean’s dad knew the real christopher robin (of winnie the pooh fame). they used to play pooh sticks together!! •camren was legally blind as a child, and she used to have to wear an eyepatch •erin has a camel tattooed in her toe (camel toe!!) she was drunk when agreeing to it, but it’s small. it’s named falafel! •drew’s first audition was for days of our lives, he didn’t get the part :( •chris chalk has seen titanic fifteen times •ben has NEVER seen titanic. morena says it’s gonna be their next date night. •cory used to breed gerbils as a child. it was his first experience with pets. his first gerbil was named perdita because he loved 101 dalmations •chris once pooped his pants when his teacher wouldn’t let him leave during a standardized test. (camren had heard the story before). he got a 98 •crystal wanted to be a race car driver as a kid •alexander played chief stout in wind in the willows once •robin says penguins defining scene was the pier with jim gordon, camren says selina’s was when she pushed reggie out a window, sean says when alfred let bruce kill him bc he loved him so much, drew says getting shot in the head •cory is taking notes from ben on how to be a more mature actor, ben doesn’t know how he did it (he does fewer shirtless scenes!) ben loves the creative experience on the show, says that they’re all a family, he says that it’s unnatural how much they all like each other •erin’s favorite line is “i’m not crazy i’m free”, camren’s is “the best liars already tell the truth”, morena likes “it’s gotham you should have checked for a pulse” •morena says lee and barbara have some scenes together, she FINALLY gets to deck barbara. lee doesn’t know about sofia yet!! •david’s biggest batman influence is the writers!! he also loved the comics and the old series with adam west •robin says that in gotham anything could happen, and ed and oswald come back into each other’s lives next episode!! oswald has absolutely no idea what’s coming, and there’s a change he never would have expected •danny immediately knew robin was perfect for the role of the penguin, robin really brought the role to life •robin says killing someone in gotham is a compliment, it shows someone cares •sofia and oswald’s relationship will evolve, they finally meet and it’s very cat and mouse, they’re both very strong willed, sofia wants to befriend him for suspicious reasons, and he IDOLIZES her father to figure out if she’s with him or against him •ivy wills eventually stop taking penguin’s abuse, she won’t stand still and she’s going through a really dark change. there will be a whole new ivy by episode twelve! •ben says villains are allowed to walk into the gcpd bc the security office is taking a nap •robin says the penguin gets his time statistics from mr. pen, he’ll know •penguin knows nothing about ras al ghul, he needs to stop always thinking that he’s on top!! he’s gotta learn about looking at the bigger picture and not to underestimate his enemies!! •i almost got the front of the line to ask a question but i didn’t :((( •but i did get really cute photos with david and drew, camren told me i looked nice, and cory waved at me from his car!!
VIRGIL HAWKINS / STATIC IN STATIC SHOCK: REBIRTH OF THE COOL!
strong contender for weirdest response to your son coming out
Hey, Bruce, remember those friends I told you about? Well, they’re more than that now. We’re a team, we’re f a m i l y.
the squad: the signal/duke thomas, kid flash/wally west ii, aqualad/jackson hyde, shade the changing girl/loma shade, raven, lightning/jennifer pierce, anarky/lonnie machin.
person who doesn't read comic books: but aren't they dead?
me, fool who does: WELL-
OKAY… QUIZ KIDS, WHO’S READY TO PLAY LIFE OR DEATH?