Fake smile, Empty Eyes

I'm always very far from okay, but I'm still here. Disclaimer: *I do not promote or support self harm*

[ddrvbiblgigb]

[garfield-baybee]

Reblog to have something good happen at 1:42 tomorrow

[dead-eyes-sad-inside]

Hey,

I’ve been gone for quite a while and wouldn’t be surprised if no one sees this post. But anyways, I’d thought I’d share something.

When I first started this blog I was in a really bad place. It was my darkest days and I was ready to end it. It was a hard 5 years. But I didn’t. I stayed strong and here I am today.

It has been a long journey. I’ve learned to deal with my demons in healthier ways and while I still struggle, I am coping. Slowly I have learnt to love myself for who I am. I’ve stopped listening to people who want to bring me down. I can finally look in the mirror and not loathe the person staring back at me.

While I still have bad days I am in a good place. I’ve met so many great people who have helped me so much. I’ve found my will to live and am ready to move on with my life. So much has changed and finally I see a future, I have hope.

I’m proud to say I’m 3 years clean today. I still have the scars to remind me but it only makes me stronger. I’m proud of who I am today and I am not ashamed of my past, it does not define me.

I love myself for who I am.

[remanence-of-love]

A hangover hurts less than heartbreak…

[dead-eyes-sad-inside]

[dying-human]

[dissociative-thoughts-deactivat]

[dead-eyes-sad-inside]

Several months, several guys, and many alcohol fuelled nights later and my heart is still bleeding your name.

You broke me beyond repair.

[dead-eyes-sad-inside]

It was in that moment that I realised that I wanted to die.

[dead-eyes-sad-inside]

I'm getting to this point where everything is piling up on me, things are getting too much, I'm too stressed. I just want everything to end.

[dead-eyes-sad-inside]

I'm finding it hard to be in my room. I have this urge to get rid of everything. Everything in my room is bothering me, I'm so sick of it. I want it all gone, I want a blank slate. I'm not sure why I'm having these thoughts, I just know I'm going to a dark road again. I'm scared I'm going to go back to old habits. These thoughts only just started after something happened on a night out, something I don't even want to think about. I just want everything to change. I just think I'm sick of being me, sick of the mess that is me.

[inritum]

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

[ghostdog07]

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

[deathklaue]

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

[doryishness]

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

[victoriaringsinyourears]

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

[lenshade]

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

[themixedbagofwhat]

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

[wodkat]

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

[acstiel]

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

[juststrokemyglabella]

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

[adweeb-deactivated20160228]

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

[redandbrunette]

i want you to stay for one day and one nigh with me and give me sp much love i dont have to cry of lonliness tonight, every night

[swiftaylrs]

no bUT THE LAST TIME I DID THIS SHIT I WISHED MEETING MY IDOL AND IT WAS RIGHT BEFORE I FCKING GOT THE FCKING EMAIL SAYING I WAS GOING TO MEET TAYLOR OH MY GOD

[da-vincis-protege]

liKE THIS SHIT ACTUALLY WORKS PPL

[c-isnenegro]

[tommeraass-blog]

I think I’ve made myself very clear…but no one’s  coming forward to stop me.

                       Some of you care. None of you cared enough.

[tanknaka]

hey

hey friend

dont kill yourself tonight ok

you have a really pretty smile and i know its not always easy to manage one but itd be a bummer if we never had the chance to see it ever again

youre really important and you matter a lot so stay safe and try and have a nice sleep

[the-grace-of-fallen-angels]

I would like a moment to thank the people who reblog post like this so that it eventually shows on my dash.

It is keeping me alive

[lavendertears]

I actually really needed this tonight, thank you

[wnq-writers]

I’m gonna need you to love me a little harder sometimes. Most days, I’ll act like I’m just fine. I’ll paint my smile across my face and wear it proudly. I’ll laugh loudly like I’ve never tasted sadness in my life. But other days, I will not be so strong. I will not walk boldly into the room, I will collapse into it. My vision of life will be clouded by darkness, and I will make my walls extra thick in hopes that you don’t notice. Please, notice. And when you do, pull me close. Hold me until we’re both too warm for anything else to matter. Let me breathe you in. Tell me that you love me, don’t stop until I respond, and then tell me again. I know this could be inconvenient for you, and I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a bother, but sometimes I need to be told that I’m worth it.

Maxwell Diawuoh , NaPoWriMo Day 6 - Love (via wnq-writers)

[alltheworld-willbeyours]

Do you ever notice yourself getting bad again…like, you know you’re not doing work that needs to be done, you know you’re not cleaning, you know you’re not taking care of yourself…you know all the things you need to do to start trying to feel better. But you just can’t. And you’re left feeling like shit bc you thought you were getting better but here we are

[dead-eyes-sad-inside]

I'm made of flaws, and now I'm unravelling.