Hi

someone that needs more sleep lvl. 23

[x-daedalus-x]

The dating world is scary yall

I’m going back to my otome men

[segamascott]

[strawlessandbraless]

What an unsurprising & completely expected turn of events that literally everyone saw coming 😮

Source 🔗

Free 🔗

[kandimouse]

to those of you who are moving here from tiktok, from someone whos used both tiktok and tumbr for years...

1. DO NOT censor your posts

dont censor sex, abuse, suicide, dont censor it. we dont have censors like tiktok does, you wont be banned for talking about these things and tagging them properly helps people avoid them (also, we dont have shadowbanning here)

2. we dont really have an algorithm

you follow who you follow, and you see posts from who you follow or what you search. the 'for you page' is basically useless here. this also brings me to my next two points

3. dont crosstag

we get it, on tiktok you have to crosstag for reach, but thats not really a thing here. just tag your posts properly (also posters often leave more info about the post in the tags!! and when you reblog stuff you can leave your own notes in the tags, kind of like the old "repost comments" on tiktok)

4. dont expect to go viral/be famous

"viral" isnt really a thing on here (at least not for the average blogger). your posts will probably get 2-10 likes and you wont get nearly as many followers than on tiktok. thats just how tumblr is

5. blocking is your best friend

tiktok is VERY discussion based, and while tumblr is much more discussion based than other social medias, its still not a good place for ragebait/discourse. dont interact, itll make your experience worse in the end, just block and move on

6. you cant go into someone elses house and start rearranging their furniture

this is tumblr, not tiktok. dont diss old tumblr users for how they use the site or try to change them, thats like going into someone elses house and trying to rearrange their furniture. we've been here longer and we're familiar with the site and its culture, either find your niche, adapt, or find a different app

[goingknowherewastaken]

Another important point

You need to actually reblog posts for this site to work as it should.

Liking posts only saves them in a spot that no one checks except for the user who liked them. Most people have their liked posts hidden.

Also, this site has a spam bot problem. One way we weed those out is to check the blog to see if it's actually being used to post legitimate content. If there is absolutely nothing on your blog you're getting blocked and some users may just straight up report you as spam as a precaution.

Not to mention that the posts you reblog will only be seen by you and whoever follows you. Tagging it "fyp" does absolutely nothing.

[evilvarric666-archive]

[bentothuglife]

"Megan, Can You Do Me a Favor? Can You Fucking Shoot Me?" by Fall Out Boy

[memetheon]

he fell victim to the fuckor

[swesq21]

A Wave of Fuckor Wracked My Feeble Body by Fall Out Boy

[chuckletons]

just made the best non-looping gif i think

[chuckletons]

[chuckletons]

i said it was non-looping i'm sorry what am i supposed to say!!!!!!!

[redtextedquotes]

Everybody looking at this post

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

yeah okay ill reblog that

[laughingsquid]

The Worst Attraction in Every State

[celestialmomma-deactivated20230]

Oh Big Blue Bug that’s interesting I wonder what that looks like—

Jesus H. Christ

[humblegrub]

get in everyone we’re going on a roadtrip

[theempathogen]

[ottermatopoeia]

[doggosource]

Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before

[inaworldofhappy]

We're finally moving into a place big enough for a pet and while browsing local rescues online I found these senior lads!

We only wanted one cat but they are buddies and I am in love.

[inaworldofhappy]

We are meeting them on Friday and they've been marked as reserved on the website and this might actually happen?!

[inaworldofhappy]

I may have made them blankets to bring to the meet up tomorrow so they can get used to our smell between now and when we finish doing up the house...

[inaworldofhappy]

I swear this isn't becoming a cat blog but we met them this afternoon and I'm just

[inaworldofhappy]

We picked them up today! We fully expected them to hide under the sofa for a week or so but...

They vibing?!?!

[inaworldofhappy]

Competitive Breakfast has become a recurring activity.

[inaworldofhappy]

Instead of Christmas gifts for eachother we got ourselves a cat tree, and we were all worried that Sam and Tobi wouldn't want anything to do with it but -

We had to construct it around them while they went to town on the scratching posts

[inaworldofhappy]

This loud muppet is falling asleep on my hand while I'm playing DND I guess I won't roll any more dice

[pennie-dreadful]

HALLOWEEN KITTIES! A grumpy pumpkin and a void baby!

[ketamineboy-deactivated20211204]

every day i think about senor y senora gucci y bugs

[bunniefriend-deactivated2022111]

[ctnctnctnctnctn]

so my family went to the tulip fields and my little sister didn’t have a good time at all

[bbanditt]

WHY IS THAT ONE FUCKING TULIP A DIFFERENT COLOR I WOULD BE UPSET TOO

[sanjista]

it is the chosen one

[greywardenlisa]

it must be the main character in the anime

[charlesoberonn-deactivated20150]

It got funnier when I realized just how many tulips are in this picture.

[guardgenie]

“In a world where tulips were yellow, one dared to be different…”

[slightly-fanatic]

Every spring this picture comes back around and every spring I crack up

[al-the-stuff-i-like]

at first you just see the row of tulips in the foreground, and it’s funny

then you see the rows stretching back for yards and yards, and it’s even funnier

[ctnctnctnctnctn]

Heyo so I’m throwing a big ol party after quarantine if this hits 1 mill so uh if anyone’s out there pls help embarrass my sister even more 7 years later

[meantfortheshore]

[moremetalthanyourmom]

Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move

[youcangofindatree-deactivated20]

Gotta try it

[clevermanka]

I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.

[emmagrant01]

Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path.

Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!”

[mercurialkitty]

I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.

[songbirde108]

Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.

[onethingconstant]

Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.

I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.

I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.

Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

[naeonnoir]

WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA

[retroasgardian-deactivated20180]

[spiduhgirl]

It’s called the Murder Strut.

[elegantmess100]

IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!!

[b3gayd0crim3]

A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post.

[linkedsoul]

One day and I bumped into a guy while doing the Murder Strut and he apologized to me even though I was the one who had bumped into him.

It works wonders.

[noping-out-deactivated20241117]

In case you were wondering, yes you can do this in a wheelchair. Same look in your eyes and let ‘em know you will run them down. Just picture yourself in a sports car accelerating towards someone with the intention of flattening them.

If there’s anything more satisfying than watching Abled men leap out of my way when they realize I’m not moving for them, I can’t think of it atm.

[chasing-asterion]

[seperis]

Walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

Wheel like you’re gonna win the Indy 500 and don’t care how.

Your crutches are short swords; walk like you can see them buried in the bodies of anyone who crosses (in front of) you.

Tumblr: teaching women how to be Moses and part the fucking Red Sea with the power of their minds.

[taraljc]

I had never seen these updates to the Patriarchy Chicken Game before and they are all a goddam DELIGHT

[marithlizard]

Patriarchy Chicken and The Murder Strut, dance names for the new millenium. 

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

OH MY GOD I HAD BARELY SCROLLED DOWN THIS POST AND WAS GONNA SAY “JUST TAKE SOME ADVICE FROM ME THAT I LEARNT FROM AN OLD TUMBLR POST ABOUT WALKING LIKE THE WINTER SOLDIER FROM YEARS AGO” BUT THEN IT TURNED OUT TO BE THIS POST

I first discovered this a few years ago when I was an insecure 14-year-old, and since then I indeed do the “murder strut” and staunch everywhere I go, literally works wonders

[cade-the-god]

murder strut works wonders in the airport and school.

[fullyfunctionalminiaturebeehive]

Back in HS, other kids would kinda stream behind me like the tail of a comet because I was several inches taller than most of the student population and the Murder Strut was just…how I walked. Amazingly effective.

[nchntd]

In the club

[ampervadasz]

[skypig357]

Get your ass on the dance floor

[runwithskizzers]

this is already on my blog like five times and i honestly don’t even care

[stacys-mom]

[jaycono]

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

[glam-hutchence]

MY FAVOURITE THING

[leannewoodfull]

When he poops the sweet out of fright though hahahaha

[deaththekidwantsyou]

She’s married to the muffin man

[mademoiseli]

The notes are broken. This is what tumblr is all about apparently.

[atonau]

THE NOTES ARE BROKEN!  This has been reblogged so many times, Tumblr just shrugged and said “infinity”

[izhunny]

REMINDER: if you do this behind a paywall, you’ll be subject to infringement lawsuits.