i have my demons

future pilot // the wanted // football // marcoreusplease let me be able to study in aachen

[coolsaddad-blog]

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

[feels-for-the-fictional]

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

[marzipanandminutiae]

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

[ineptshieldmaid]

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

[squeeful]

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

[last-flight-of-dickarus]

Hirple - To limp or walk awkwardly

Cirple - An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse

[nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear]

“Roses are red, violets are purple,

My boner for you has caused me to hirple.”

…

My, how romantic!

[wouldthatcreationhadformedmeman]

DYING. I AM DYING.

[kiranovember]

Calling theshitpostcalligrapher! We need @theshitpostcalligrapher

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

@kiranovember u better buy this as a commission lmao

[simonalkenmayer]

This post has evolved.

[minotaur-in-my-labyrinth]

I am 100 percent all for every part of this thread. I have laughed loudly and long. Thank you, thou glorious purple-hirple rhyme.

[not-a-unic-fandom]

I never expected it to take that turn … But I love it

[dduane]

When I am old

I will wear purple

(and then take it off

for that guy with the hirple)

[deine-cxral]

I haven't made a post here in forever. Beyond reposting and commenting, tumblr is where I come to scroll when I have nothing to do.

Thing is, before 2022, I was in university, and failing at being in university. No matter how much I studied there were some mods I could never ever understand. 3.5 years into my 4 year degree program, I still wasn't sure I wanted to take this path, but it really was the sunk cost argument that got me through. In the end, I took 9 semesters to complete an 8 semester long honours degree program, and I graduated without honours.

I have always had anxiety. After my first panic attacks in freshman year, I confided in some people in school about difficulties in controlling my emotions. During sophomore year, these same people used my tendency to overthink for their benefit, and I subconsciously prioritised their needs over my own. This put me in a very bad place to grow intellectually and socially.

In junior year, I cut them out of my life and became a social pariah. I focused internally, but it seemed like no matter how much i concentrated, I had fallen too far behind on my schoolwork as a result of my messy friendships. It seemed like I would never graduate. Thinking of my future became a frequent source of anxiety. I stop understanding my lecturer because of my severe knowledge gaps, and then start feeling shortness of breath in the middle of lectures as the weight of my inability to understand lands on me. These were the worst, because I lost track of time and I needed rest to recover from those feelings.

My insomnia chose to deteriorate in those times. It used to be that it was hard to fall asleep, and I would be a light sleeper. Now, you'll find me jolting awake 3-3.5 hrs after sinking into a "deep" sleep, oftentimes with tears because nightmares are too frequent. I know I should be going to a therapist, but I am too lethargic to do anything, still, now.

In my final year, I met friends who excelled in academics and extra curricular activities, while working on my thesis project. These friends were my motivation to study even harder than I've ever done, simply because they were so smart they made studying look easy. They helped me find clarity in the mess that were my own academics, and told me that I was good enough to graduate and find a good job. They helped me fall in love with research and academic writing. Because of them, I rediscovered a long-forgotten childhood dream of mine: to take a PhD so that people address me as Dr. -And yes I do have the intention of doing one now, even with my shitty undergraduate results. I'll get there, somehow.-

In October 2021, one month before Finals season, I found a job listing that suited me. It was a graduate program at a reputable firm, which promised to train me in all aspects of my field for the first two years of my career. Of course, at that point I was still living in self-doubt, could I really perform in the industry, when I am struggling so much learning basic stuff in university?

Nevertheless, I sent my -pretty shitty- resume in, and got an email about attending the interview. I had gone in and commited a few faux pas: I spoke about wanting further education, hence targeting to leave the company in 3-4 years; i spoke about desperately needing employment because I wanted to provide for my parents; I spoke about difficulties coping with my mental health and academics. I knew I'd blown the interview, nearing the end of it I blanked-out because there was no way they were accepting me. I sent in my resume to three other similar graduate programs once the interview ended.

Fast forward to 4th January 2022, when I commenced my first day at the same firm I believed wouldn't consider me. My hiring manager told me that he appreciated my honesty when I spoke about my plans, and how I didn't filter my words when I answered their questions. It really was a blessing in disguise, then, that I could sell myself to them in the middle of a panic attack. When they had first called to make an offer, I told them that I was seriously afraid I wouldn't pass some subjects, and could they include an addendum that my acceptance and date of commencement was conditional on my passing of all subjects? I thought this request would be where they retracted their offer, but they were kind enough to go through all that trouble for me. At any rate, I believe got the job because I was lucky; they had preferences for someone like me instead of someone prim and proper. All I can do in return for this trust is to put in hard work.

I am taking some time to reflect on my first week of work as a professional; writing "Engineer" instead of "Student" in the "Occupation" field will always feel abit surreal. I got here with a long, curvy path. I don't think the anxiety of being never enough would ever go away, but I now know that at least two groups of people think I am good enough.

Anyway, I managed to join the legion of undergraduates who secure a job prior to graduation, in this economy, and I should forever be grateful to the emotions that got me here. University was enduring, and I don't want to forget how difficult it was decades later. Before this post, I have only told one other person of intending to go for a PhD. In a way, I would like to take advantage of internet anonymity to immortalise this transitionary stage of my life; where random people can hold me accountable, and I could revisit to update years later.

I appreciate you for reading this.

[neil-gaiman]

The sky here as the New Year happened. Clouds scud past (4 minutes of clouds in a second.) May your troubles in 2022 pass like these clouds.

[dyscomancer]

This is a good time to remind everyone to swap from Apple to Android the next time they have the means and need to get a new phone

Android phones are almost universally...

Cheaper

More durable

More customizable

Faster & more reliable

Less likely to remove perfectly workable features just because they are "old"

Better for pirating media

Y'all have got to stop enabling Apple's insistence on being a fashion brand rather than providing electronics that respect your autonomy and decision making powers.

Next time you have a choice in the matter, go Android. One minute of being able to actually browse your file architecture without jumping through proprietary bullshit and you'll be hooked, I promise.

[robotsdontcry]

hi as pride month draws near for june reminder that cishet aces/aros are not LGBT and don’t belong in our spaces

[geekandmisandry]

And like, just a reminder that people like op are the people I don’t want to share my spaces with.

[thedoorisstuck-blog]

Every time I see an exclusionist on here and I click their profile they’re like 17 or 19 or maybe 21 at best. 

And that’s fair- it’s not like people that age can’t have opinions or be right, they’re people.

But when I think about how long it took me to work out my own damn sexuality, gender, and all that crap, and how gently I stepped once I realised I was queer, and how much listening to people I did to see who the hell was out there…how much I am STILL learning about people who have different experiences…

…it feels really odd to see people this young being so secure in their belief of who should be excluded from the community. 

Not how to support and include, to help and support, but how to exclude.

Like…being confident in your own sexuality at 19? Fuck yeah, good for you, I’m happy you had a better chance and an earlier start than I did.

But… telling other people they’re not queer enough to be in ‘your’ space?

Your space? Not mine anymore? Huh.

I’m over here at 35 still listening and learning and trying to understand everyone’s perspectives, discovering that sexuality is even more complex and nuanced than I know…and all these people barely out of their teens are talking like they know everything there is to know about being LGBT, ever. Like it’s all been written down, stamped, sealed, confirmed by some Authority.

Mmmm. No. Just… have an ounce of humility. Try gaining some perspective, please.

You haven’t lived long enough to even really listen to real life aces, to really think about what LGBT means. I don’t mean this as an ageist insult, I just really think that this kind of shit deserves TIME- hell I know it deserves time and thought because I am STILL unlearning bad assumptions and behaviours, and STILL meeting people who define themselves outside of the frame that I was once taught meant ‘LGBT’. And you, a teen raised in a world that’s still pretty fucking homophobic and doesn’t recognise half of what the LGBT community itself has taken years to acknowledge, you think you know it all?

Because you’re online? While you’re here, read some posts where ace people talk about how they’re treated. Forget semantics for a while: read the experiences. I’m online too, I have been for some time. Doesn’t make me right, but experience is of some value. Experience in listening to queer people who aren’t quite like me, that is, in trying to understand how I am similar, instead of trying to figure out how they do not belong. In how people rework things, figure out how they can be less harmful, more inclusive, more representative of all those who are marginalised. See, Q is queer but also often Questioning. It’s still important to let people be Questioning, there is an astounding amount of queerphobia in the world and we are NOT done working out the labels. We may never be. Not so long ago, the T in lgbt was under question. Bisexuals are still being excluded.  So I’m being told I don’t matter by people who weren’t even born yet when I realised I wasn’t straight. They’re skipping right over all the reflection and going straight to self-affirmation by exclusion. 

Which, again- if you are born into a world where you never have to question your identity, oh good grief I hope that’s real for everyone some day. But we’re not there yet, yanno? And I resent being told that after all these years of soul-searching and careful, very careful questioning of whether I belong and how I can be a good member of the community, people arrive so 100% certain of their claim to being LGBT that the first thing they do is try to kick others out.

tl;dr I was here first and I’m not amused.

[vaspider]

My general feeling when These Kids start yelling about who does or doesn’t Belong in the collection of the broken, hurt and strange that is the queer community:

[gehayi]

Pride month is an especially shitty time to tell queer people that they’re not queer enough and that they’re not welcome.

[lavellanlove]

I’d like to take this opportunity to invite any exclusionists following me to kindly eff off (and also unfollow me while you’re at it :) Happy Pride!  

[bizarrequazar]

A gifset my queue just spit out that was focused around the word “soulmate” made me realize that I don’t think I’ve seen anyone on here quote how Zhang Zhehan and Gong Jun defined 知己 when asked about it in the post-concert interview. I really like Gong Jun’s answer, personally

[deine-cxral]

Take this as my call for help, if you will. I've seen much discourse on here about thought control as a form of abuse. And I want to understand more of such content.

Just last week my sister told me that I have been gaslighting her, and to be honest, I spiraled. I have no idea how to carry on. We had an argument, over text, because she asked me to do her a favour, I was too busy and I didn't inform her whether or not I got it done. She had come home to see it not done and had ssnt me a scathing message to say I shouldve told her it wasn't done. My personal opinion is that I was too busy to check my phone anyway, and she knows I'm busy because I have said it over the weekend that I have multiple tests to study for. She told me I'm gaslighting her because in her reality I nvr told her I was busy and that I'm making her question her memories. She has demanded over text to engage me in a conversation on me abusing her, but I've stayed away from that chat for a week.

I am of the opinion that once she places herself as a victim of gaslighting, then everything I say to defend myself will be acts of gaslighting. There is nothing I can do or say to wipe myself clean of this crime.

Since I was young, she's been telling me that I have been arrogant in my interactions towards her and her alone (I have checked with my friends and they don't observe that from me). She has given me explicit instructions on how I should and should not be interacting with my friends. I once told her that my friends don't observe the same lack of compassion she says I've been showing her, and she told me that my friends are too stupid to realise I'm abusing them. In fact, my friends have been telling me that I should be valuing her opinions less, and that shes a narcissist. Most importantly, they have suggested that shes gaslighting me since about 4 years ago (family things have happened then).

I have been holed up in my room afraid to make any noise since last week. She is working from home and I feel like cutting whenever I hear her voice on call. I have been reding on what's gaslighting, what's not, and the thing is I know that between us two, there's a gaslighter, but I can't be sure who. I understand that this is my post, so maybe I am, too, victimizing myself.

I clearly need treatment and counseling at this point, but I want to finish my undergraduate studies first.

[milfkarlmarx-deactivated2021081]

What happened in Hungary?? Is there any way we could support you guys?

you can donate to budapestpride, háttér society and labrisz lesbian association! ill add more organizations if i can think of any

if there is an article in english about the situation i cant find it right now so i'll attempt to sum it up

basically our pseudo fascist government granted themselves emergency powers at the beginning of the pandemic and among other things they have been using it to slowly take away thw lgbt community's rights and freedom. trans people can no longer change their name and gender marker and gay couples can no longer adopt children

and most recently (last night actually) a law that is supposed to protect against child predators was changed so that "sex education in schools cannot promote the changing of one's sex or homosexuality" on top of that sex education programs can only be done by the school or a database of organizations maintained by the government. the breaking of these rules (aka telling kids its okay to be trans) would get both the organizer AND the principal of the school into major trouble (think jail)

additionally children under 18 cannot be shown advertisements or educational content containing homosexuality or transgender "propaganda" these materials MUST be marked 18+

40% of all hungarian lgbt individuals have admitted to suicidal ideation, with 30% percent admitting to attempting it. our government is framing this as the protection of the children but what it will actually do is kill even more lgbt kids.

im incredibly angry so i'm sorry if this is not well phrased but this needs to stop because the path we're heading down is gonna end really fucking bad for the hungarian lgbt+ community

[hunxi-after-hours]

xie lian thoughts?? i just finished the novel and i can't stop thinking about him!!! best boi oh my god. i need to read long long metas on him (and hua cheng) to stop hyperfixating. if you ever have the time and wish...please? meta more on him? 🥺 i just LOVE your metas on cql so 🙏

anon you’re in luck that I managed to scrape together the remnants of intelligent thought in my brain to come up with this

we talk all the time about Hua Cheng being Xie Lian’s most devout believer, but what we often overlook is that Xie Lian himself is a profoundly devout believer as well

it’s just not as obvious as the depths of Hua Cheng’s love (which, thanks to a nifty trick of worldbuilding, translates directly into Xie Lian’s power), but Xie Lian is as fervent of a believer as Hua Cheng--he simply places his faith in the inherent goodness of humanity

part of the reason why I find Xie Lian’s character arc so compelling is that his story grapples with the tangled issues of privilege, power, and morality. in his youth, as the beloved Crown Prince of Xianle, of course Xie Lian can afford to compassionate and charitable, because he wants for nothing and can infinitely provide out of the coffers of the royal family. He has a simplistic, black-and-white view of the world. Just do the right thing, he says, as if it’s obvious, as if it’s easy, as if it’s that simple

when faced with the thought experiment of the two people dying of thirst in the desert, and the single cup of water--if you were a god, asks his teacher, who would you give the water to?--a young, arrogant, undefeated Xie Lian, a Xie Lian who has yet to come face-to-face with a power greater than himself, flippantly chooses a third path of impossible optimism, and while it’s admirable, it’s also aggravating, naive, and impractical

this of course, comes back to haunt Xie Lian in book four, dogging his footsteps as he crawls his way through the mortal world, hemmed in on all sides by the strictures of conduct, the incessant demands of survival. we see Xie Lian pushed to and past his limits; we see the way his vaunted morals crumble in the face of hunger and desperation and need. where is the third path, when you are one of those people dying in the desert, and there is only one cup of water? what is the point of being a god if you can’t even save the people you love?

we see Xie Lian’s belief in goodness and righteousness stretch and bend under the pressure of everything he’s put through--and we see it shatter. 

Xie Lian loses faith. Xie Lian has his belief in the worthiness of morality and compassion crushed to smithereens, left smeared across the floor of an abandoned temple in his own blood and viscera. after chapter 190, we come to know a terrifying Xie Lian whose heart has frozen over, who will lie and cheat and steal and kill without batting an eye. this Xie Lian dons the mask of his worst enemy and does it justice

there is a dead space, a blank space, an unwritten space in the narrative following the immense trauma of chapter 190. two months go by after blood spills onto the floor of an abandoned temple and flame chars the corpses inside to ash, and we don’t know what happens to Xie Lian in those two months, except that Bai Wuxiang is there, and Bai Wuxiang is watching over him, and Bai Wuxiang sends Xie Lian off down the mountain with the black sword that was both agent and accessory to his suffering

but. but. even after all that--even after all that--there is still some of that old Xie Lian left, an ember not gone completely cold. he leaves the door open. he gives humanity another chance

and humanity nearly fails that second test, that last test; that ember of hope, of belief, of faith comes so close to being snuffed out, but all it takes is a straw hat in the rain, a single moment’s kindness, unasked for, freely given, even if it’s accompanied with grumbling and insults and no shortage of cursing

the full force of Xie Lian’s belief comes surging back, and even though he is still fettered by the cursed shackle around his throat, Xie Lian is back, once more full of the power and agency and divine goodness that makes him who he truly is, the beloved taizi-dianxia of Xianle, whose beauty was matched only by his goodness, whose power was only matched by the depth of his benevolence

it is the strength of his belief in what is good and right and worthy that carries him through the end of book four, to a battered and bruised and dearly-bought victory snatched from the jaws of despair and disillusionment and destruction, and it is this same ironclad belief that leads him to scattering his allotted luck, carries him through another seven hundred and seventy years of unending misfortune with, impossibly, a smile on his face and laughter on his lips

Xie Lian’s faith is tested, and Xie Lian’s faith fails him. but faith isn’t something that, once lost, can never be restored. faith is forgiving, faith is enduring, and sometimes all it takes is for one brief moment, one tiny action to restore it to full, blazing glory

we first meet Xie Lian, eight centuries into this life, and he is still travelling, still doing good deeds. one would think, after a few centuries, after book four, that Xie Lian is entitled to a retirement, or at least a vacation

but when people cry out for help, he goes to them. when a traveller stops by his temple with news of vanishing caravans, he doesn’t hesitate, journeys to distant Banyue to investigate. Xie Lian doesn’t stop, doesn’t give up, because he’s found his calling and harmonized it with his being

so of course Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are perfectly matched for each other, and not just because Hua Cheng refashions himself to perfectly complement Xie Lian, but because the two of them are both devout believers of their respective faiths--Xie Lian in the worthiness of the world, and Hua Cheng in the worthiness of Xie Lian

[callmehopeless]

[255alt]

[Eng] Zhang Zhehan 2021 VOGUEMe magazine

Article link: https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/WBxQLUvQarK8l4u2r0dl6A

Feel free to point out any errors.

Zhang Zhehan: Love is the gentle and surging ocean

When you portray a character and enter the dreams of the audience, and become the small drifting bottle in the sea in their ordinary lives that are like the ocean. (When one) opens the bottle, the writings on the message [have flesh and blood/are both raw and sincere/有血有肉], and so, it was just like the entire ocean had come to life.

The magic of the actors, this job is no different, forgetting oneself, immersing (oneself) into the character, then using this character to [move/touch] a group of people who have no relation with you, and even create a tight [connection/link] with them. In the past several months, Zhang Zhehan experienced this process, his character in Shan He Ling, Zhou Zishu, free spirited, gentle, modest, and strong in martial arts. From shutting his heart to directly facing himself, this man, to many people is very real, they empathise (with him), and go through joys and sorrows together.

The Zhang Zhehan (we see) behind the camera, perhaps in life, this [Jianghu/pugilist world] that does not have many ups and downs, (he) is searching for his own free-spiritedness and romance (t/n: I think it does not just mean romantic love, but rather greater love).

Love is the ocean.

Love in Zhang Zhehan’s eyes is not entirely gentle, it is more like the ocean, filled with the charm of the unknown.

The vast and azure deep sea that has warm ocean currents that [captivates/mesmerises] one, and raging waves that are full of the unknown.

The ocean coerces you, and at the same time pushes you forward, step by step.

The love Zhang Zhehan’s family has for him is great and heavy. To this day his mother would still have [high/strict] expectations for him, “I care and love you, and remind you,” this is her love towards Zhang Zhehan, it has almost never changed from young. This kind of love is always present, supporting him as he walks ahead, even though with limited space, this kind of love is like the gushing waves that crash into the shore, [forming/moulding] and completing a one and only shoreline.

He is a person that is good at finding the little (moments of) love around him,  even the warm actions that can’t be any more common in his profession, he would still not hesitate to mention them and feel grateful.

In the past, Zhang Zhehan was a person who was not used to expressing love. Perhaps many of us are like him, growing up in the culture of expressing love in a more [conservative/restrained] manner. Now there is a new change in how Zhang Zhehan expresses his love.

“Actions of love are very limited, it takes a very long time for it to take effect on the people around you. While words of love, can travel to even further places.”

Words of love, are not just limited to the love that we say out, it is more of being able to be recorded down and kept, the love that more people can receive. 

Just like the writings of authors and the musical notes of composers, the love in these words can withstand the test of time and space and be cherished forever. Speaking from this angle, the job of actors is just like that too, with their works then becoming fission medium, radiating love to even further places.

I am an actor

“Rather than saying that I chose acting, (it would be better to say that) the job of being an actor chose me.”

The career of an actor, is like the waves coercing him to move ahead, but he is also composed, calmly accepting everything that will come his way.

“Always having [films/dramas] to act in, (I lived) quite a good life, everything is all very good.” That period of time he was like a migrating fish, moving as the currents change, all the trails of fate have their own plans.

After attending “Actors please take your place,” this competitive acting variety show, he broke out of his comfort zone and started to understand what societal value an actor had besides portraying a character. “You must bring the kindness that you treat the world with into the character, I feel that that is the most important,” all living creatures in the vast world, every single person having their own path, but there is one thing that can string the world together, and that is “human nature.”

To Zhang Zhehan, portraying a character [of flesh and blood/that is like a human being] is like [showing/revealing] humans’ most essential and core “human nature”, [gifting/bestowing] the character with love and kindness, allowing a mutual connection between those on and off-screen, letting his character [produce/create] a positive [driving force/motivation], is probably the calling and the greatest [meaning/significance] of an actor.

“You can demand something from life, can be set on something that you must get. But demanding (something) is always towards yourself, and should not be towards others.” This is Zhang Zhehan’s view towards (his) career and life.

“I’m very lucky, the things that I’ve wanted to grasp onto are currently all in my hands. Those (things) that I’ve lost, I’ve already reconciled with them.” He is no longer the migrating fish that accepts the fixed path that fate has planned for him, and has already broken through “nature”, entering a deep ocean that is more vast, and filled with limitless potential and the unknown.” There, he has a goal, but yet will not be [bound to/kidnapped] by the goal and lose freedom; he has freedom, but has not once lost the direction he is set on.

Love’s magnetic field

The huge popularity of Shan He Ling made his popularity rise rapidly, however Zhang Zhehan does not feel that it was [ought to be like that/理所当然], (he) does not believe that popularity is a guaranteed result of hard work.

“Many have been actors for many years, but do not necessarily meet this so-called [highlight/high point] (in their career). I feel that (my) popularity is a [blessing/care] from the Heavens, I’m really very lucky.” In his eyes, popularity is not an actor’s necessity, and is also not necessarily an added bonus from the hard work of an actor in his career path. Popularity is nothing but luck and an extra reward.

However, popularity that almost increased rapidly overnight, naturally also made Zhang Zhehan contemplate further. Now, those around him would rush to express their concern, this caught him off guard and he also started to realise that he has to do even better to return the love that comes surging from all directions.

“I don’t know what I should do, maybe I can only repay everyone by [working better/working with a better state],” the other side to the increase in popularity are the [passionate/fervent] expectation and even scrutiny from countless pairs of eyes.

Love, at the same time, is also sharing the burden, this is something that Zhang Zhehan realised from his fans.

“One day I heard fans saying that there was a lot of malice on the Internet, they would help me bear the burden. Then I suddenly understood, actually love also needs to be shared among others. If I take this love and love even more people, then there would be even more love.”

Zhang Zhehan is now used to spreading the love that he has received to others, be it his team members who also suddenly became busy from his schedules, or his friends and family. At the same time, he hopes for his fans to do the same.

“I hope that fans will share my love to the people around them, then love can form a positive magnetic field.”

Taking a broader view at the present

When graduating from university, hot-blooded Zhang Zhehan cycled from Chengdu to Lhasa, up till now that was the craziest thing he has done in his life. Cycling arduously on the road, to fulfil what his heart had set on, a goal that others think has no real [purpose/meaning]. The Zhang Zhehan at that time was like a wild creature, once set, there is no giving up.

In life there are not many crazy things, from what he sees, one recent crazy thing that he will be doing would be to participate in the upcoming amateur golf [tour/competition].

“I can’t play basketball, can’t run, then I’ll start playing golf. Reconciling with myself and also with basketball,” he who [jumped into/got into] golf is able to not look at his phone the entire round, and enjoy being cut off from the chaos of the outside world.

Looking down at the ball, with the golf club in his hands, not thinking about [where/which coordinate] the ball would end up at, only thinking about how he should swing this club to get a better result. Even though in his own words, he is still a little Baby in the world of golf, the philosophy of golf is in line with his own [values/value system].

“As long as you complete your action, you don’t have to be anxious to see where the ball flew off to. Just like our lives, (we) only need to be the best of ourselves at the present moment, (there is) no need to be anxious about what the future is like.”

China’s current captain of the men’s golf Olympic team, Liang Wenchong is deeply impacted by Zhang Zhehan. “He is a very modest person, and would modestly share with others his personal understanding of golf. I feel that he is the real [master/grandmaster], (it/he) makes think of the sentence that I’ve always remembered in my heart, ‘[Openly/publicly] acting (films), quietly being an upright person,’ while [he/Zhang Zhehan] is ‘[Openly/publicly] playing golf, (and) quietly being an upright person’.”

Right now golf is no longer a substitute for basketball, it has become his real passion.

This love is not like other competitive sports, it does not need a [set/fixed] [target/goal], and (one) does not need to [spend/waste] too much emotion (on it). Even though on the golf course, he does not need to have a (golfing) partner, (him) playing golf on his own, [breaking through/surpassing] on his own, (and) enjoying the process of talking to himself.

Even with a tight work schedule now, Zhang Zhehan is still actively preparing for the upcoming golf competition, but naturally he does not have any ambition for any ranking. “Go with the flow, doing the best at what I’m currently doing, not worrying about where the ball will fly off to.”

The ocean covers 71% of the Earth, it is vast and boundless, at times surging with terrifying waves, at times quiet and calm. The love in Zhang Zhehan’s eyes is the ocean, surging and coercing him with the motivation to leap forward, and also letting him willingly indulge in its safe space.

In “The Life of Pi” a boy and a Bengal tiger called Richard Parker, drifted at sea for 227 days.

In this long and dangerous journey, the gentleness of the ocean always appears after the [brutality/ruthlessness], like a strict [senior/elder].

And in the end, Pi also realised that Richard Parker, rather than calling him a threat to his survival, (it would be better) to call him his driving force to continue living. 

Or even, Richard Parker is himself.

In the risky journey of life, Zhang Zhehan is the young Pi, in that ocean that is called Love, exploring without restraint, but not entirely without fear, but at least, 

by actor Zhang Zhehan’s side is [fengzi/crazy person] Zhang Zhehan. 

He is the former’s Richard Parker, whether there is rain or sunshine at the ocean, they are all on the same boat, moving forward together. 

[thelibrarina]

just wait until all the ao3 antis find out about

libraries

[alarajrogers]

I am actually mildly pissed off at our local library right now for reasons that relate to this debate.

So I’ve been taking my daughter out to the libraries to get manga. She’s 12. I do not censor her reading, but she’s uncomfortable when things get explicit and I trust her to know her own limits. She got two volumes of a manga that was purportedly about a retired superheroine who discovers that her daughter has become a superhero with the same hero name she had, so she goes back into the field to protect her daughter. When she told me she wanted to return them, I kept them back because stories starring middle-aged mothers are of great interest to me, for reasons that ought to be obvious.

So I started reading the manga. In retrospect I should have been tipped off by the fact that the villainous organization is called “Blowjob”, but I’m so used to ridiculous mangling and misuse of English by Japanese writers that I ignored it.

Two chapters in, I quit reading. The villainous organization uses tentacle-equipped mecha to molest the heroine, did so the whole time she was a presumably teenage hero, and is still doing it now that she’s back in the game. Her clothes burst off of her when she fights back. A couple of assholes take pictures of her naked with their cell phone. Oh my God do not want. The casual and disgusting rapeyness of this story, the degree to which the audience is obviously supposed to be lecherous dudes who pretend to sympathize with the heroine while watching for the moment when her boobs are exposed… it’s horrible. 

And this is not revealed anywhere on the back cover of the book. It’s presented as if this is a perfectly normal manga story about two superheroines, and the only hint as to what it really is, is the risque name for the villain group. 

There’s no tags. There’s no warnings. The library had it in the teen section. My twelve year old checked it out of the library and read at least part of it.

And you know what? She’s not scarred for life. She’s probably grossed out – I was grossed out. But she did the mature thing and just said “ok, I want to return these because I really don’t want to read them anymore.” She didn’t cry or throw a fit or demand that I sue the library for letting her innocent 12 year old eyes encounter such filth.

I may, in fact, warn the library, because I don’t believe these are particularly appropriate books for a section where the most likely reader to pick them up will be a teen girl, and I don’t want the library to get sued by some other more hysterical mom. But see, here was an uncured experience in the real world with gross rapey subjects in fiction. This is real life, this is how it works.

Fanfic is tagged. You can choose not to read the subjects that trigger you. That’s not something real life gives you. So antis are going to attack fan writers and artists, who warn you what you’re getting into? Because that’s easier than going after the big corporations that publish rapey fan-service manga and then don’t make it clear on the back cover what the subject actually is? 

No, that’s bullshit. Kids who do this shit need to grow the fuck up and take some responsibility. I taught my daughter to monitor her own reading and bug out when there’s something she doesn’t want to see, and not make it anyone else’s responsibility, and I’m kind of sickened at the fact that so many kids on this site have parents who didn’t do that. 

Tags are there for you. Use them.

[zhongwans]

Bizarre things that happened because of everyone in China having WenZhou brainrot:

1. The official Youku weibo account posting an original video-edit of Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan to promote Gong Jun's new firefighter show that Zhang Zhehan isn't even in. They edited together footage from the firefighter show and scenes from a totally unrelated film (the bravest) where ZZH acted as a firefighter. They even tagged both of them in the post.

People were confused. Youku took it down after three minutes. People were even more confused. Youku offered no other explanation.

2. Sichuan News tagging Zhang Zhehan on their weibo post, inviting him to "visit Gong Jun's hometown" and JiangXi News also tagging Gong Jun, inviting him to "visit Zhang Zhehan's hometown".

This has never happened before and people are perplexed. Again, no further explanation was provided.

3. For Gong Jun's firefighter show, his hometown Sichuan's Fireman Unit tagged him on their official weibo post to help promote it. Nothing strange about that, no, the weird thing is Zhang Zhehan's hometown JiangXi's Fireman Unit also promoted the show on their official weibo and tagged Gong Jun. Again, this show has nothing to do with Zhang Zhehan at all.

People are still wondering what the fuck is going on but have mostly given up on getting any kind of explanation.

4. Official public accounts for their respective hometowns Sichuan and JiangXi continue to roleplay as in-laws on weibo, to everyone's utter bewilderment. From tagging each other on random official posts to outright inviting the other hometown's "son" over. In Gong Jun's first Bilibili video, Sichuan Satellite TV posted a comment inviting Zhang-Laoshi over to Sichuan to play. And this roleplay extends to various versions of these official hometown accounts, from tourism accounts to weather report accounts.

And this is still going on, well after the concert and official promotions for WOH have come to an end. In fact, it might have gotten worse because instead of in-laws they're now acting like a married couple. For 5.20 (Chinese Valentines Day) the two hometowns collaborated to give away special editions of their newspapers, tagging and commenting on each other's post, affectionately calling the other 西西 and 川川. By this point, people are just rolling with it as if these public accounts calling each other pet names on social media is perfectly normal and not at all completely beffudling to those who don't know about WOH.

5. OK! Magazine doing the equivalent of a desperate fangirl piecing together random screenshots of two characters to make content for her rarepair ship. They took Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan's unrelated solo photoshoots and smushed them together, filling the Haidian Huangzhuang Station.

All I can say is...I have never had a fandom experience like this and I don't think I've ever seen such widespread support and adoration like this for a CP, and it's especially satisfying knowing how this casting was mocked and ridiculed throughout the whole production period because people claimed chemistry between the leads would be impossible 😂 Now people are clamoring just to see them in the same shot.

[soursoppi]

Wen Foxing gets some tail: Tail 7

there’s no scene as unintentionally hilarious as WKX just suddenly taking off down the mountain all by himself after catching a dose of the feelings

[randomingoftherandomness]

I remember how @zhongwans and I were talking about how the staff were probably begging and praying in turns for the cast to be well-behaved so that they don't get into any trouble.

We were wrong.

Woh cast is Wild but the crew are also the same level of insanity 🛥 ☁️

[zhongwans]

Literally nobody gives a single fuck in this production and we were wrong to expect any semblance of sanity from them. God, they're the best.

[deine-cxral]

Chen zihan once again,,,,, she asked when is her a-xing getting married!!!!

[infinitecrime]

I say this every week but I kind of feel like I’m watching a different show to you all with the way you cherrypick through the dialogue in order to demonise either Sam or Bucky and pit them against each other re: the shield. Malcolm Spellman is writing these characters as complex, emotional, grieving men coming at the same issue from different, understandable perspectives. Their actions and thought processes are not always perfect because they’re human - but he’s not writing either Sam or Bucky as a saint or a villain. Why are so many people so determined to make them one or the other?

Sam’s reasons for giving up the shield are completely legitimate, understandable and valid. The shield has a weight and complexity and burden for Sam as a black man that it never had for Steve - something it’s clear Steve didn’t think of when he handed Sam the shield and expected him to just drop everything to become Captain America, just because Steve said so. It’s absolutely Sam’s right to decide not to take on the symbol of a country that has oppressed African-Americans for centuries. That’s his choice to make and his alone, because it’s his life - I’m struggling to see how anyone could condemn him for that. 

His reasons are completely valid and his intentions good, but it’s also factual that he ignored Steve’s last wishes, gave away the last remnant of his legacy, and inadvertently let the shield fall into the hands of someone who doesn’t deserve it and may use it for evil. None of that is Sam’s fault, but it’s only human that Bucky wouldn’t be happy with the way things have played out. By episode 3 he understands Sam’s reasons slightly better (just as Sam understands Bucky a little better), but you can’t just stop feeling how you feel over night, especially when it’s fuelled by mental health issues and tied so closely to the grieving process. It’s already been explicitly stated that Bucky isn’t doing well mentally, and is reacting emotionally and illogically to matters of the shield and super soldiers (as Sam said this very episode: “I know why this matters to you, but it’s pushing you off the deep end”). He’s never going to accept John Walker as Cap (nor should he), and he’s not going to let the last fragment of Steve that he has be destroyed, so all he can do is either continue trying to convince Sam that he made a mistake and he should take the shield, or take it for himself if Sam continues to reject it, to keep it out of the wrong hands. I’m struggling to see how anyone could condemn him for that, either.

Neither Sam nor Bucky’s positions on the shield debate are evil or even necessarily wrong, and the narrative isn’t presenting them as such. Only the fandom is. Fandom took a nuanced discussion of legacy, loss and representation, and of race and mental health, and turned it into a black and white, contextless “Sam is a selfish asshole who doesn’t give a fuck about Steve and his legacy” vs “Bucky is a racist who doesn’t give a shit about Sam and his struggles” issue, instead of what it actual is: “two men ultimately want to respect their best friend’s legacy but have different ways of approaching it because of their respective traumas. Through conflict and growing trust they will eventually come to see the other’s perspective and reach a mutual conclusion.” Despite how clear it is on screen, the point is being so badly missed that the fandom is becoming a pretty unbearably toxic place to be for the first few days after an episode drops.

[stellarflex]

Zhang zehan dressed in sports shorts, flowy shirts and ancient boot does thing to me

He looks like he is on a runway. Fashion weeks have some of the most absurd fashion combinations being showcased and he totally looks like one of those models.