Delicately Whimsical

A random mishmash of what I think is funny or entertaining…. Continuity is not something I consider when reblogging

[raptorific]

Fun thing about football right now is that there's a move called the "brotherly shove" that the Eagles do when they're very close to scoring, where the whole team puts their hands on the ass of the guy with the ball and physically propels him over the line into the endzone for the touchdown, and all the other teams' fans hate it because it's got such a ridiculously high rate of success for the Eagles and doesn't really seem to work for any other team. People are straight-up calling for this move to be banned, claiming it's "unstoppable" and gives an "unfair advantage" but it really and truly is a skill issue. The whole league hates this move because it only makes the Eagles win more often and nobody else can figure out how to do it right

[raptorific]

Other teams are so afraid of it that they panic and do some wacky looney tunes shit to try and stop it. The refs had to come out on the field and tell the bad guys to stop doing this

because it's blatantly against the rules of football, and that if they tried it a fourth time in a row that they would just straight-up grant a free touchdown to the Eagles

[raptorific]

The rest of the NFL: this move doesn't work for us but it always works for the eagles... how do we stop them, we've tried everything... Washington Commanders Linebacker Frankie Luvu: ...not everything... Washington Commanders Linebacker Frankie Luvu:

[malgudinights]

as someone who doesn't know shit about american football - that is the most nonsensical thing i've ever heard

[hornraven]

I can feel…the serotonin and dopamine dropping…i need to make…Crafts

i must make…

b e a d l i z a r d

[radioactivedelorean]

B…

B e a d l i z a r d

[msillzie]

I have seen these things for years but never knew how to make them so I must thank op for this new knowledge

[calysto1395]

op has given me the best gift possible

ive been making them for four days

[smugsackofstraw]

Am… am I back in the 90’s?

[cheeseoneveryfudgingthing]

Bead animals were my JAM in the 90’s!! And you don’t have to limit your creativity to lizards, either! With a few adjustments, you can make anything!

AND with a little practice, you can even make them 3D shaped (especially with the smaller beads and wire, though you can make them with the bigger beads and string, to an extent) 

[elodieunderglass]

These connect powerfully to some locked-down memories

[strongermonster]

watching children successfully and compassionately self-mediate conflict and wondering if it's possible to pinpoint where exactly it all goes wrong for us

[strongermonster]

group of kids aged ~4 to ~8. little boy starts crying. the group descends from all corners of the play room and start by asking him if he's okay, if he got hurt. they tell him it's okay to cry if he's feeling sad or mad, it's okay, it's all okay.

they ask him if he wants to talk about it because they can solve their problems together. they have perfected empathetic tone modulation and sympathy sharing. ("my sister takes toys when it's not her turn and it makes me mad and i cry too. it's okay to cry if you're mad.") their clumsy little hands are patting him on the back and hugging at his arms. we are a species of immaculate mimicry.

he says jessica was mean to him. 3 of them who know jessica agree that jessica is never ever mean, so they posit that perhaps there was maybe an accidentally communication error ("maybe you didn't mean to say something that hurt her feelings! it's okay! it was nobody's fault if you did!") or that maybe jessica is having a bad day. they are working together to completely remove blame from the situation, effectively cooperatively de-escalating. there's a little bit of talking over each other, but no one puts down anyone else's ideas. if they do disagree, they subtly "yeah that, but also maybe—" to it so no one feels like their idea was stupid or bad or wrong. i don't even think they know they're doing it. inclusivity requires absolutely no thought or effort.

they hunt down jessica and bring her to the tribunal. jessica is also treated to blame cancelling, comforting touches, lack of judgement, and sympathetic tones. they ask her if she's feeling okay. they tell her she made arjun cry "accidentally and not on purpose" and they want to fix what happened.

jessica and arjun stand opposite in a circle of very concerned little faces eager to problem solve. jessica (crying) says she didn't like the way arjun was playing. arjun (also crying) says he didn't know because she didn't tell him the rules. jessica says she's sorry. arjun says he's sorry. they hug it out. the group is very excited to have successfully solved conflict and immediately announce they'll be doing a new activity, all together.

i clean up the play area and wonder what they'll all be like in 20 years.

[depsidase]

[hyenaswine]

we passed a sign in boring that said their sister city is dull, scotland

[hyenaswine]

oh there's a third! bland, new south wales!

[zoestorm]

I'm sorry but I just have to appreciate the wordplay on that last sign. It's brilliant.

[silly-signs]

Official silly sign

[ofcoursethatsathing]

[newkidsonmycock35]

whoa this guy knows how to party

[quaadude]

It looks like a Scooby-Doo chase scene in there

[catchymemes]

[gothcostco]

look at this video of a mouse eating soup and bread and butter

[flanneldragon]

peace and FUCKING love on planet earth

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!

[plaguedocboi]

Alright was no one going to tell me that in the middle of the Nevada desert is an old cemetery that contains the bodies of a bunch of miners who died in a fire and next door is a haunted clown motel

Why are we still setting horror movies in generic Victorian houses in the woods when this is a real place in the world

[gayteensupreme]

im at the miner cemetery. im at the haunted clown motel. im at the combination miner cemetery and haunted clown motel.

[eowyndy]

[acanthawrites]

🦉

My partner critiques my fics in memes, I felt this on a very personal level.

[wizardarchetypes]

told my mom my feet are cold & all my wool socks are dirty & she said “how about THESE” and pulled out of her pocket a pair of wool socks that apparently took 3rd place in the Delaware State Fair, which I know because the ribbon is still attached

[wizardarchetypes]

[wizardarchetypes]

reading the tags I realize it wasn’t clear:

my mom doesn’t knit. she didn’t make these socks

she’s never been to Delaware

[elodieunderglass]

Fantastic story thank you

[akumeoy]

getting murdered but it's so traumatic i repress the memory and only actually die years later during hypnotherapy

[akumeoy]

people have tagged this with like a million different pieces of media but the only comparison i respect is looney tunes

[whitepeopletwitter]

[weaselle]

here are some cross-sections of some undersea cables in case anyone wants to know why this is especially funny

and we know this happens regularly

[catchymemes]

[i-am-a-fish]

hey pal, take it easy! you're scrolling with way too much intensity. look at this horse