deliquescent threads

the thoughts of a chaotic young adult and fellow dark academic 🥀💻

[deliquesblog]

💌 hello there

here are some things about me -

18 | med student 🩺 | she/her | science nerd but in a cute way

📕 i ABSOLUTELY love reading and i’m a fan of all kinds of genres

🖋️ i disguise my venting seshs into elaborate poetry (mostly free verses) and long painful paragraphs

🎧 so again i love the mainstream artists (hon men - taylor swift, ed sheeran, harry styles) BUT if you listen to jeremy zucker, chelsea cutler or gnash then i might just as well marry you.

🎶 i love music and i sing, play the guitar, piano, ukulele and a little bit of harmonium, harmonica and zembe

🫀 biology whore who loves dogs and tolerates cats (to a good extent nowadays)

and if you’re still reading this alarmingly long bio then you might just as well be in love w me x

[deliquesblog]

i think it's cute how you spend so much time loving something, like say a song you listen to on loop for weeks; and then when you love someone you give it to them. i love you, so here's a song i love, here's a dish i love, here's my favourite spot in the city, my best dress for you. my comfort movie; have you watched it? my bedside book; have you read it? take a bite because i love this flavour.

try listening to this artist because they mean so much to me. see what i love and then hopefully, you'll see me.

i love you, so here's everything i love, for you.

[deliquesblog]

the fact that i’m rapunzel’s age and there’s no eugene coming to take me to see the “stars” is disturbing smh🏰🛶☀️

[feelingsoftheday]

You deserve someone who wants to figure it out with you.

[deliquesblog]

aaaaaaaa ❤️‍🩹

[deliquesblog]

isn’t this insanely pretty

[deliquesblog]

HI I AM BACK HERE AFTER SO LONG.

How’s 2024 been treating y’all yettt?

God I’ve missed y’all so fucking much 💌

can we name one good time we’ve had this year? even if it’s just been a week? here’s mine : enjoyed this mocha and garlic bread with a friend after gym 🌙

[deliquesblog]

hey nana x hey hachi

[deliquesblog]

things that fall

petals,

when the flowers you brought me have withered, and the sun is too strong in my eyes.

tears,

when the pain in my chest gets too heavy to bear, and my heart beats a certain way when i think of you.

snowflakes,

as the dry air makes my lips bleed into the cracks of the words i couldn’t say when you buried your head in my neck.

rain,

as i sit in my window, the woollen grey clouds as dark as the deliquescent threads in my head.

stars,

when all i wish for is to feel your breath against my face. you sigh and i trace my thumb over your brow.

tides,

because the moon is drifting away from the earth as you are from me.

eyelids,

because my eyes are paper thin from the fever on my forehead. it’s too warm and i’m drenched in sweat. it burns to touch them.

time,

because love becomes infinitely heavier when it has nowhere to go.

shadows,

of two lovers slow dancing in a burning room.

leaves,

as you tread over the maple hope that we would last; crushing them under your feet and over my chest.

the sun,

in my sky, colourless without your palette. i’m begging you to stay. you’re crying now. you rub your nose against mine and i don’t want to live beyond this moment.

and i, for you.

i fall for you. like everything that falls.

- written by me

[happyheidi]

[a-cloak-deactivated20241120]

how students study

“ok time to take a break from mental health and focus on my career”

[deliquesblog]

not studying cuz of depression 🔄 being depressed cuz of not studying

[deliquesblog]

i don’t wish for someone just because you have her.

i just wish i had you.

and i wish i didn’t; i’m trying not to.

[deliquesblog]

why does it still sting in some parts of my heart?

even when i think it has healed. it still shudders when someone reminds me that you’re happy with someone else. the words ring in my ears. in my head.

he’s with her. he’s with her. he’s with her. he’s with her. and my heart stings.

[memeuplift]

[deliquesblog]

i needed this today.

[deliquesblog]

exams exams.

[deliquesblog]

[deliquesblog]

everything’s different for you and me. except the moon. the last thing we’ll share. forever. even when you’ve forgotten me.

[deliquesblog]

things you (and i) might need to hear today

i. breathe. i know how anxious you are right now but breathe. it’s going to be okay.

ii. you are not selfish for prioritising your peace of mind.

iii. it’s okay to rest. rest before you burn out. not after you’ve burnt out.

iv. it’s okay to have an unproductive day. what matters is how much you let yourself down by it. don’t. start afresh. you’ve got this.

v. it’s okay if you’ve hurt someone. we all do at some point. but deal with it. have difficult conversations. don’t expect things to mend by themselves.

vi. never hesitate to compliment someone or tell them how much they mean to you. a simple gesture can go a long way in making someone’s day.

vii. it’s okay to panic. it’s okay to think that this might be the end of the world, knowing very well that it isn’t. but it’s not okay to let it consume you. let it out. no matter how long it takes or how painstaking it is. it will be worth it.

viii. talk to yourself when you’re sad. cup your face in your own palms and kiss the creases. gently pat your head and stroke your cheeks. sometimes only we can pick ourselves up.

ix. people will keep entering and leaving your life. the only constant is you. learn to enjoy your own company. what can be sadder than to do the things you planned to do with someone else all by yourself? do them anyway. it will suck. let it. because eventually it won’t. it feels like discovering a new power to find yourself being perfectly happy with a new found independence.

x. don’t believe in the things that people believe you to be. you are not what someone else thinks you to be. you are you. don’t let others’ opinions change what you feel about yourself.

- me

[deliquesblog]

Thank you @charredluv and everyone who got me to 50 reblogs!