Remember when Thanos got cockblocked by Deadpool?
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@densebunny
Remember when Thanos got cockblocked by Deadpool?
Hey @perisnoop
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wack.
I can’t believe that the government is watching our every move and yet they refused to warn me that I was about to walk into a Panera where THREE of my exes were working together.
Hey, the government? You could’ve texted me. You’ve got GPS; they’ve got their jobs on Facebook; I know you know we dated. You knew, you have the technology, and you just let me walk in there, make eye contact with them, and walk out without ordering anything. Fuck you. I hate this country.
My favourite thing about the tags and replies on this post is that they’re full of people legitimately slut-shaming me for having dated three people who ended up working at the same place. Like I’m some compulsive bread whore. Like I just shoved a whole Panera up my ass one day.
Do straight people not understand the small town phenomena where 1.) there are a maximum of ten LGBT+ people that you’re even vaguely compatible with, and so you all just end up dating each other at one point or another, and 2.) word gets around that the manager of a specific business isn’t a blatant homophobe, and so it ends up becoming staffed entirely by LGBT+ people despite not being an inherently gay establishment? You guys don’t just have, like, that one Taco Bell where everyone is a lesbian?
My new favourite part about the tags on this post is everyone either tagging this as stuff like, “we don’t have a lesbian taco bell but we have a trans petsmart” and “oh you mean the five guys where everyone’s bi yeah we have that”, or straight cis people being all, “UGH THE GAYS ALWAYS THINK THEY’RE SO SPECIAL. THERE ARE BUSINESSES WHERE EVERYONE IS STRAIGHT, TOO,” as though anyone would ever come out to someone who felt like that comment necessary.
“Rats. We’re Rats. We’re the Rats. We prey at night. We stalk at night. We’re the Rats.”
On each plane of existence, there exists one great Rat who rules over all other rats on that plane. This Rat is known as The Giant Rat That Makes All of the Rules. There is always one of these Rats on each plane at any given time and when it dies, a new one takes its place. The Rat doesn’t posses any extraordinary or supernatural abilities besides the ability to speak Common. Despite this, all other rats follow its commands.
This Rat is known for getting into trouble. Whenever it spots an opportunity to disrupt some plan or cause mischief, it takes it.
(Based on this great video)
(version 2)
merchants
I’M SCREAMING
any1 else have friends that make you abruptly re-evaluate ur life
失敗合集(
*conversation in group chat suddenly halts after I send something*
me: i did it. i managed to piss off every single person here
you know what trope pisses me off the most? when the protag is pointing a gun at somebody and they’re like “you won’t do it. you’re too good” and the person holding the gun is like oh shit i am and they slowly lower the gun while the other person laughs. WHAT THE FUCK. if i were there, and somebody told me “you won’t do it” i would immediately shoot them dead without hesitating. who are you to tell me what i wont do. musty bitch
im drawing something
is it a friendly snake? no i think it’s something more sinister than that
he’s got a >:D face
he’s missing something.
refollowed
thats just some tea, yall ☕ ☕ ☕
can someone explain the alignment chart for me but in like, the simplest wording possible lmao
lawful good: i want to do the right thing, and following society’s rules is the best way to do that
neutral good: i want to do what’s right, and i’m willing to bend or break the rules as long as no one gets hurt
chaotic good: i’m willing to do whatever it takes as long as it’s to do the right thing
lawful neutral: following the rules of society is the most important thing, and that matters more to me than doing what’s right
true neutral: i just want myself and the people i care about to be happy
chaotic neutral: i want my freedom, and i don’t care what i have to do to keep it
lawful evil: to impede the protagonists (in whatever evil way) is my primary goal, but i follow my own code of morals even when it’s inconvenient
neutral evil: to impede the protagonists (in whatever evil way) is the my primary goal, and while i’ll do what it takes to achieve it, i also won’t go out of my way to do unnecessary damage
chaotic evil: i relish in destruction and want to do as much damage as possible while i try to achieve my primary goal
Kinkshaming this DnD Alignment Chart
the true cutoff between millenials and gen z kids is who remembers yaoi paddles and who is about to have a very unfortunate Google search