Oh fuck, a three legged dog. @deoxygenization - Tumblr Blog

draconym

do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare

draconym

if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.

boycritter

"unbecoming" is such a great word. bro that shit was so rude you no longer Are

motherfucker-somewhat-limited

when I choose the most popular response in a subjective tumblr poll: oh hell yeah I chose the correct response. I am going to get a good grade in tumblr poll, a thing that is normal to want and possible to achieve.

when I choose the least popular response in a subjective tumblr poll: I am a tastemaker. a trailblazer. avant-garde. the uncultured masses cannot fathom the secret depths of my genius.

tvguts

yesterday i had a nice southern teenager call me "ma'am" and then look at me and go, in a well-meaning tone, "uhhhh, if you go by ma'am. sorry if not." and i had to be like yeah man ma'am is fine. appreciate you being inclusive though. i could almost see the little warning pop up in his UI-- hold up! people with blue hair often have pronouns. are you sure you want to address this individual with a gendered term?

sol1loqu1st

did you know that you can increase the quality of your quesadilla by adding seasoning

sol1loqu1st

did you know that you can decrease the quality of your quesadilla by making a tumblr post while it's cooking and burning it

viralfrog

sentient-tent

This is Tie, she is going to eat all of the notes

sentient-tent

reblog to feed her notes

vettir

Eat my notes, Tie.

pedrospascaled

TED LASSO S01E03 - Trent Crimm: The Independent

captainjonnitkessler

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

saltoncity

scientists are trying to discover something harder than getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. and dont make a fucking penis joke ok they already checked everyone’s dick and it doesn’t even come close

softboyshaven

Thinking about the Holmes story where a blind girl goes to him and is like "My fiancé is missing and he kept telling me the week leading up to his disappearance that he would always love me and come back for me,were anything to happen so I think he knew he was in trouble and I love him so much and I'm going to wait for him but I'd like to find him faster,ya know?" And Holmes figures out that it was this girl's parents to scam her out of money she was owed from an estate which she gave to them because she was still living at home,which she wouldn't be if she ever married,so her step father PRETENDED TO DATE HER for MONTHS to keep her from ever getting engaged to a real person and when Holmes finds out he confronts this man and this man is like "Well,you caught me! But it wasn't illegal:) so:)" and Holmes is like "No,but it was sickening and cruel and if she had a brother or good male friend he should post you up and whip you but she doesn't." And the man is like "No,she doesn't." And does the Victorian version of sticking his tongue out and Holmes is like "Well,I guess I'll do then!" And HE PULLS OUT HIS HUNTING WHIP.