as fast as penguinly possible

e |28 | they/them | multifandom mess with no tagging system | not spoiler free | ao3: purplehedgehogskies

[nosimpincurly]

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

[catherinebunnington]

Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account

[egberts]

"i ate too many cookies" is truly an ageless problem. an unlearnable lesson.

[bisexualbaker]

Happy Moon Landing Eve! Remember to leave out milk and cookies for Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong, and don’t let Michael Collins convince you to prank NASA!

[bisexualbaker]

If Tumblr is still here next July 19th, I fully expect this post to obliterate my activity feed.

[joeyclaire]

steven is a really funny character actually. he never went to school. one of his powers is astral projection for no real reason. hes a musical prodigy. he was so traumatized by the end of the show they had to make an entire epilogue series about it. he spent seven years looking like a 3rd grader. he was even bisexual

[joeyclaire]

he went to the center of the earth. he saved the world in flip flops. he broke his bones every day and didnt even notice. he killed someone

[pawpels]

he didn’t have a bellybutton. he actively chose to eat super crispy bits of potato that got left in the deep fryer. he lived in a house but his dad lived in a car within walking distance of his house. he could revive people from the dead. all of his clothes were concert merchandise. he had an outdoor washing machine. he was put on trial for murder. he broke both federal and state child labor laws

[imhereformysciencefriends]

The murder he was on trial for was different than the murder he committed

[hedronalignment]

The murder he went on trial for was a murder his mom committed. The victim of the murder was also his mom.

[joeyclaire]

he plead guilty

[klaasje]

really good text from my sister in law

[this-is-trans-joy]

I will always care more about the supportive cishet boyfriend at pride than i will about the wannabe cop queer person interrogating every “straight looking” couple to make sure they’re “queer enough” to be there btw. Don’t worry about your cishet boyfriend, he’s sitting with me eating an ice cream wearing a homemade little pride bracelet around his arm and he is the happiest he’s ever been in his life :]

[tetitasdelimon]

top 5 horror movies

-having a job

-not having a job

-applying for jobs

-the job market

-the concept of working my whole life

[shubbabang]

its not funny but i do think about it a lot

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

This made me think about this panel from Calvin and Hobbes:

But unlike the adult in this strip, Calvin’s dad actually APOLOGIZED for yelling at him when he saw how guilty his kid was:

[ryebreadgf]

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

[distractionsfromthefood]

[calloff57]

[klapollo]

Washington Post is paywalling the article but it looks like Taylor Farms — a consumer bagged salad brand that also supplies produce to grocers and fast food chains like Taco Bell, Walmart, McDonald's, Chipotle, Burger King, KFC, and Meijer —may be at least one of the sources of the current cyclosporiasis outbreak.

Taylor makes bagged greens, salad kits, chopped salads, the works. Keep avoiding supermarket greens, but keep an especially close eye out for this brand/supplier. The above list of grocers and fast food chains is NOT exhaustive, so please continue getting lettuce and other raw produce taken off your burgers, sandwiches, etc.

[triplehamburgerjack]

Their other brand is EARTHBOUND ORGANICS!!!

[acerbicapplecoffee]

[dogpuppy]

[kosmogrl]

[parakeet]

Today I saw a leaf that looked like a frog and I was like haha nice and then it hopped because it WAS a frog and I started crying bc life is really full of everyday miracles including but not limited to experiencing frogs

[deathwarlock]

you got camouflaged dude. If you were frog prey...... hoooo boy

[mallowmaenad]

[pyx]

victorian sterling silver seal peppers