Spontaneous Tacocat

Chase or Kraken - they/them - early 30s Here, queer, and really ready for a nap

[queerpyratess]

i went on photography adventures today and

as it should be

[graytaloty]

A big part of being a quadruped is being able to just lie down anytime. Waiting? Loaf time. Talking to someone shorter than you? Loaf time. Falling asleep in the sun? Loaf time. Bored? Loaf it up till something interesting happens. Leg hurt? Loaf time.

[f0restnympho420]

i feel like that picture of ben affleck smoking the cigarette and looking so tired all the time

[f0restnympho420]

i feel like that picture of ben affleck smoking the cigarette and looking so tired all the time

[dynapuff]

If I was a cat I'd make the mrrrp? sound all the fucking time.

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[zxid]

collection

[fishlung8877]

[sandmandaddy69]

[paperplateprose]

the phrases "holy shit two cakes," "fuck it we ball," and "perfect is the enemy of good" bounce around in my cavernous skull like ping pong pachinko. occasionally one of them will land on a big red button labeled "write" and that is when 1000 words emerge from me and splooge all over my document

[chaoticneutralwife]

if i was a little kitty and you were a little kitty would you touch noses with me to say hi

[sniperct]

tumblr waiting for news on mitch mcconnell (image source)

[phantomrose96]

I think Elon Musk has done irreparable damage to the tech industry.

[phantomrose96]

Elon bought twitter in late 2022, fired 75% of the employees, and 'proved' the platform could limp along under the 'wear 4 hats at once' efforts of the remaining employees, and the rest of big tech got big ideas.

[phantomrose96]

There are many intersecting elements at play between the tech market downturn in late 2022 and the interest rates hikes and the reduced need for online infrastructure post-quarantine and the advent of AI. But big tech are a bunch of homework-copying lemmings and that Reddit-brained manchild kicked over the first 6,000 dominos.

[innerchildabortionclinic]

"why do you still bring up charlie kirk" because it's funny. his death is genuinely a running joke to me. you could say it's the greatest contribution he has made to society

[charl0ttan]

[kiisuuumii]

anyone wanna sit together in silence while you do your thing and i do my thing and we do our things. together. in silence

[mercblues]

a car you used to drive can also be a kind of dead wife

[dykeferatu]

i’m not even that much of a pervert i can just find the eroticism in anything. doesn’t get me bricked up necessarily i just like to appreciate it.