eels-and-nugs

i hate social media and this was a bad start. dont judge me for stealing things i say on my discord. also i'm definitely not a panda in a green suit.

[i-am-a-fish]

there's a bug in my room and I would like to dedicate this post to the bug in my room. I love you bug

[whatsapersonality]

Can we see it?

[i-am-a-fish]

yes!

buuuuuuuuug

[dino-nugs-n-eels]

i hate to break your bubble fish, but that appears to be a carpet beetle and they will eat your carpet :( it is best to relocate Bug

[i-am-a-fish]

there's a bug in my room and I would like to dedicate this post to the bug in my room. I love you bug

[whatsapersonality]

Can we see it?

[i-am-a-fish]

yes!

buuuuuuuuug

[dino-nugs-n-eels]

i hate to break your bubble fish, but that appears to be a carpet beetle and they will eat your carpet :( it is best to relocate Bug

[moringmark]

[homunculus-argument]

Just as a general public announcement, if I've been unreasonably mean lately, it's this damn weather turning me evil. It's not an excuse but it's still an explanation. So just that you know, you probably didn't deserve it.

[dino-nugs-n-eels]

while on my suits binging spree, i've noticed that Mike's tie hasnt gotten any fatter. Still skinny. very funny, honestly

[what-even-is-thiss]

People can have such specific allergies. I met someone once who’s allergic to raw tomatoes

[dino-nugs-n-eels]

I'm allergic to raw cherry tomatoes. Its really annoying, considering theyre one of my favs. I'm also allergic to most raw fruits.

[what-even-is-thiss]

When I was a teenager I had a phase where I called soccer football because the rest of the world called it that but eventually my dad told me “You know, there’s a point where acting smart doesn’t make you smart and just makes you annoying. Refusing to use the word that everyone else around you uses doesn’t make you smarter than them.”

So anyways I call it soccer now.

[xirconio]

Americans are socially Nerotic.

[what-even-is-thiss]

The unisex perfume by Cécile Zarokian for Laboratorio Olfattivo?

[dino-nugs-n-eels]

I believe they meant "neurotic": an emotionally unstable individual

[what-even-is-thiss]

Yeah I know but I don’t appreciate my entire culture being called neurotic so I decided to weaponize some annoying pedantry on purpose

[dino-nugs-n-eels]

see, i knew i enjoyed you for a reason

[what-even-is-thiss]

When I was a teenager I had a phase where I called soccer football because the rest of the world called it that but eventually my dad told me “You know, there’s a point where acting smart doesn’t make you smart and just makes you annoying. Refusing to use the word that everyone else around you uses doesn’t make you smarter than them.”

So anyways I call it soccer now.

[xirconio]

Americans are socially Nerotic.

[what-even-is-thiss]

The unisex perfume by Cécile Zarokian for Laboratorio Olfattivo?

[dino-nugs-n-eels]

I believe they meant "neurotic": an emotionally unstable individual

[i-am-a-fish]

I hope fifty good things happen to you within the next 30 seconds. I love you so much

[dino-nugs-n-eels]

I'm bathing my cats so... we'll see.

[i-am-a-fish]

I hope fifty good things happen to you within the next 30 seconds. I love you so much

[dino-nugs-n-eels]

I'm bathing my cats so... we'll see.

[burgerdotcom]

reblogs were off

[what-even-is-thiss]

A post about you eating udon gets 6 reblogs and 58 likes, how do you cope with the fame?

I eat more udon.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Oh nooo not more udon please don’t throw me in that briar patch oh nooo

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

they're doing overhead music in planes now im gonna start shooting hostages

[dino-nugs-n-eels]

can i be the first? pretty please because what and why.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

[krystal-prisms]

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gosh I enjoy this website

[authoratmidnight]

For comparison, this is a daffodil

[quietlygrousing]

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

[maejacrezz007]

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

[fractiousrvt]

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

[blood-trip-god2]

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

[delphinidin4]

This is a marigold:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

[bitemeilovewaffles]

But. But these are daffodils…….?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I AM GOING TO SHOVE DAISIES DOWN YOUR THROAT UNTIL THEY SPROUT OUT YOUR TOENAILS

[dino-nugs-n-eels]

i love daffodils. i'd dig up my great grandmothers yard every spring before they bloomed and would plant them all in a specific spot. It has grown mightly large over the years, about 10x10 feet.

[hydrachea]

> turns on my computer

> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default

> opens my email

> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default

> launches a software

> disables a new AI fea

[i-am-a-fish]

I am sick. this sucks balls. my will is made of iron but my immune system couldn't keep up. I'm going to eat a pop tart and sulk for the rest of the day

[dino-nugs-n-eels]

aw, i hope you feel better soon, Fish. I'm slidin' some pop-tarts your way.

[i-am-a-fish]

YOUR BIRTHDAY IS MAY 5TH mine is the 4th! But i was born at like 11:57 pm. I was so close. It would have been 05-05-05. Im still so mad about it

that sucks. that sucks so bad I would never get over this. My birthday is 05-05-00 and it feels awesome. I am so sorry

[dino-nugs-n-eels]

My sister was almost 09-08-07 but my moms doctor insisted she had to come out early 😒 truly terrible