All Over The Place

My fandoms include The 100,  The Fosters, Doctor Who, Orphan Black, Boy Meets World, Jane The Virgin, The Magicians, & You're The Worst. So you will see a lot of posts about these, as...

[dinosoaring-stars]

Stressed

I am so fucking stressed out right now because of my "family". Long story: I am the oldest of 4 children and the only girl, brother 1 and I get along, brother 2 and I have never gotten along, and brother 3 I liked well enough until he outed me to our mother, but I was trying to move past that. LONG POST AHEAD.

Well recently, brother 2 was/is going through a custody battle with his ex wife and it stirred up all kinds of shit because brother 1 and I were trying to stay neutral/put our nieces first. So obviously that meant we were choosing his ex's side. Don't get me wrong, I definitely get along better with his ex than I do him but I still love him and want better for him. But he is, in my opinion, not a safe person for his daughters to be around. Massive anger issues & unsafe gun owner among other things.

Well my mother burned her bridges with his ex in a big way, so she had no choice but to "support" him in order to continue seeing her grandkids. It basically became a family war, not that I was on good terms with anyone but Brother 1 & his wife anyway. So brother 1 and his wife, and my wife and I inevitably ended up being forced to "pick a side" as brother 2 felt if we weren't choosing him, we were against him. And essentially said "If I get custody, I won't let you see them." Anyway.

My mother has been super shitty to Brother 1 and his wife over this whole fiasco. It didn't start with this, as my mother hates my brother's wife because she won't take my mother's shit, and Brother 1 is slowly realizing how shitty our mom is and coming to terms with all the things she's been saying and doing. (As someone who's already been going through this for a while, I know how fucking hard it is to realize your mom is kind of shitty. I'm trying to be there for my brother as he's going through it, as I didn't have a sibling to lean on like that, being the first that was betrayed.) My mother and Brother 3 went to Brother 1's house and they had a confrontation and at some point my name was brought into it.

So about 11 30 at night (and me having work at 8am the next morning) I got a message from my mother "So tell me how you really feel about me" which to be honest, I still have yet to actually "open" let alone reply. There are a LOT of things i want to say which all really boils down to "I never felt like you put me first/protected me the way you should have/really love me".

I'm guessing shortly after this, she went into her usual "Woe is me, I'm always the victim" mode. Well Brother 3 still lives with her so is still very much under her thumb unlike Brother 1 and I. He recently unfriended me on FB and made a post saying how he couldn't stand my wife and I despite us not saying a damn thing this whole time.

And how "disrespectful" I am to her, despite me not posting a damn thing about how badly she hurt me for years. Even through all her posts about how I'm such a shitty daughter, how I lied to her (BECAUSE SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN SO OPENLY HOMOPHOBIC AND I DIDN'T FEEL SAFE ENOUGH TO SAY "Hey guess what, I'm not straight"). How I'm not really happy, and my wife is secretly "controlling", and my family who actually supports us isn't around to see "how it really is". How my wife, who I've been friends with since we were fucking 10 years old was "fake" the whole time. How she "wanted me to find a nice man and give birth to his children" DESPITE RAISING ME AND KNOWING I HATE EVERYTHING TO DO WITH NEEDLES/BLOODWORK/ETC AND PREGNANCY IS NOTHING BUT.

And the day I asked her if she would want to be invited to the wedding *WHEN* we got married and her response was "No. How do you know god doesn't have a man out there for you?" To which my reply was "How do you know this isn't what 'god' planned for me?" So she didn't get an invite to my wedding.

Honestly, my wife and I didn't want an actual wedding and covid was still a big thing. So we got married at a courthouse on the anniversary of the day we started dating. So our anniversary would stay the same. It was a weekday, so everyone we loved was working, but her dad came to witness us getting married on his lunch break. We facetimed the rest of her family so they could watch from work and I tried to facetime some of my family but no one answered. But I messaged everyone who supported us with the good news.

I didn't know my Uncle and Aunt were in town from out of state so he ended up running into my mom at the store and she learned from him that I had gotten married. Boy, did it piss her off. She posted some bullshit about how my uncle was so excited to tell her because he wanted to make her mad. I don't think that was his intention but who cares if it was. My wife and I took a mini honeymoon weekend and of course later that night I got a message from my mother saying she wanted her playstation back that she didn't care about before. Also, bonus, I learned from my brother's ex (this is before my mom burned that bridge) that my mom called her crying about how I got married, and without telling her.

Anyway, got a bit off topic there but the gist of it is, my mom has been badmouthing and disrespecting not only me, but my wife and our relationship/marriage for YEARS. And I have yet to say anything publicly because I am trying to stay drama free. I am truly happy with my wife and I am so glad I escaped the toxicity but they keep bashing my wife and I and I'm so fed up with it.

I REALLY want to post this to Facebook where all of my family and friends can see it, but again, I am trying to stay drama free. And I have so many MANY examples of the ways I felt my mom never made me feel like I mattered to her, and not the bullshit examples that she thinks like "I didn't put you in sports like I did your brothers" or "I was overprotective because I loved you and didn't want you to get hurt" (Spoiler alert: you failed to protect me in some very important ways, but you don't care about those do you?)

I am trying so hard to get into therapy to talk about all this to someone who might be able to help me find a way to finally get past it. I did my intake therapy session. Unfortunately the mental health center I'm trying to be seen by has not returned my calls and it's getting harder to keep all this in.

My wife obviously knows everything but her love for me and disdain for the way my mother has treated me all these years makes her very biased and I need an unbiased opinion. Someone to tell me whether it's a good or a bad idea to finally tell my mom everything I've been holding back, or post some drama of my own on Facebook and then block every fucker who tries to come at me. Obviously option 2 seems very problematic but it's been literal years of toxicity and victim mentality from my mother and I just want to say my piece and finally fully move on.

[dinosoaring-stars]

All I'm gonna say is I am a fucking mess and also I need more.

[dinosoaring-stars]

When your boss basically calls you lazy because you say you would rather have a work from home job that pays less than stay at your current job that you hate for many reasons.

Sorry, I don't quite understand how wanting any other job for LESS money makes me lazy. Besides that, not having to drive to and from work every single day will save me money in gas and be less of a hassle on the days the roads are dangerous. Like that is just stupid. Lucky I'm not quitting without a backup.

[dinosoaring-stars]

Stayed up til 1am to binge Season 4 of Camp Cretaceous. Something didn't sit right with me, definitely felt a bit different than the other seasons and I genuinely hated how it ended. At least with all the other seasons we got some decent resolutions. This one felt like it ended way too soon. Also I miss Bumpy and that short little scene of her at the camp legit made me cry. She thinks Ben abandoned her and I hate it so so much. Really hoping she's one of the dinos that was taken from the island before the volcano erupted because I cannot deal with her dying like that. I need legitimate confirmation here.

[queer-of-hearts]

I'm mad at Tumblr because y'all made me think that Life is Strange: True Colors was all Alex and Steph and everything was fine and dandy and gay. My bisexual ass was NOT PREPARED for the sweet, nerdy, bird-loving, lumber jack slice of man that is Ryan and now I don't know what to DO.

[gabe-chen]

Some kind of snake? I guess.

[dinosoaring-stars]

I just stayed up til fucking 3am having work in 6 hours to finish playing Life is Strange True Colors. I went in not knowing who I was gonna choose to romance. Literally my first meeting with Ryan had me hook line and fucking sinker. The caring joking sweetheart demeanor just melted my heart from the beginning. Finding out he was my brother's best friend (and the fact that my wife was gonna romance Steph like the lesbian she is lol) just enhanced my decision. We bonded and though he wouldn't fit what I would call my type in real life, I definitely found him attractive in more ways than one.

Then during Ethan's LARP when Ryan played literally all the monsters and I had the opportunity to call him cute as a snake and he did the bitey thing... I will not lie that was hot as hell. Had to pause the game to collect myself.

And then. At the end of the game when I (Alex) show up injured and I guess I didn't make all the right decisions during the game and he didn't fucking believe Alex-me. Shot to the heart. Broke my heart in pieces and cut through me like a knife. All the broken heart metaphors because damn I really loved this video game character. I felt betrayed because my wife's romance pick had Alex's back 100% no questions. And mine... did not. So I went all over the internet to see if anyone else was hurt like me. Found out it was in some of the choices I made so guess who is planning on replaying to make sure he believes me next time and I don't feel like I was pining over the wrong love interest the whole time.

[writing-prompt-s]

You, the queen of a fairy tale kingdom, got cursed to give birth to a princess who’s going to live her life isolated in a tower the first 20 years of her life. Narrate how you avoid your daughter’s fate.

[elidyce]

She laughed, when she placed the curse on me. Laughed and laughed. She called me a fool for coming to her, for wanting children who would sap my strength and steal my power. 

One child to take my kingdom, she promised me. Well, I’d wanted an heir. It didn’t have to be a curse. 

One child the sea would steal. There was room in that. They didn’t have to die, only to love the sea. I would buy the finest ships. 

And the third would suffer my grandmother’s fate. 

The tower. 

Grandmother told me stories about that tower, shuddering. About the isolation almost driving her mad. About the desperate longing for escape. I know what that escape cost her, and my grandfather as well, with his scarred face and limping gait. 

That was going to be difficult. 

The sorceress’s curse worked. Within the year, I held my first babe in my arms, a sturdy boy who kicked and cried and cuddled against his mother as if he hadn’t been made only to bring me grief. Well, all mothers grieve. 

Keep reading

[insertcringename]

I loved it when Yaz said that, according to legend, John Hammond broke his ancle and was eaten alive by compies because - if I remember this correctly- that was actually how John Hammond died in the Jurassic Park novel.

[bs-fangirl]

“Feed both of them to the Mosasaurus!”

“Really feels like we’re not getting our full use out of the Mosasaurus, guys...”

[dinosoaring-stars]

Did a rewatch of BMW and

I used to think Cory and Topanga were relationship goals but I changed my mind. Maybe it's me being older, maybe it's me being in a healthy and happy relationship, Idk. But overall, Cory was a huge asshole. To Topanga, to Shawn, to Eric, to Alan, to Amy... I swear to everything, he was an asshole. Constantly saying hurtful things to people who he's supposed to love. Examples include him taking "honesty" too far with Topanga to the point of just being cruel, him making Alan feel like shit by calling him "average", literally calling Shawn "trailer trash" in the wedding episode, etc. There are literally so many examples and I'm tempted to do another rewatch just to list them all. And literally all of the incidents? He doesn't apologize for any of them. All of them deserved way better than Cory. Also continues in GMW.

[pixelberryqueer]

Okay guys!!

Whoever outed Auvernal publicly, REBLOG and if you threatened them privately, LIKE!

[dinosoaring-stars]

All I can say is RIP The Magicians. I cried but honestly I don't know how I feel about that ending. I do know I am not completely happy with it. I wish for more and I wanted better. But I have loved this show from the first time I saw it and I will miss it and all the amazing wonderful badass characters.

[dinosoaring-stars]

Met Flick today. First thought was that he was a new villager/potential new villager. I was slightly disappointed to see that was not the case as he looks super cool. But he was buying my bugs at an increased price and I got 12k for a Tarantula so there's that.

[dinosoaring-stars]

For real though, is anyone else as upset as I am that in New Horizons, you immediately owe money on a TENT and have to pay to upgrade to a house? Not only that but you don't have full island access at that point so if you want to move your house to a better location when you DO have full island access, it costs 30k bells?

AND THEN YOU HAVE TO BUILD THE STORE AND A FEW VILLAGER HOMES AND NOOK CAN'T EVEN SAY "Oh, you did all this, I can take it off your debt" No. He gives you a fucking DIY fence instead. Not even the fence itself. Just a card that says 'this is how you make it'. I PREFER BELLS TO PAY OFF MY DAMN HOUSE THANKS.

[dinosoaring-stars]

My fianceé and I got the new Animal Crossing game. Upon much thought we decided to name our little island "Alvarez" in honor of One Day at a Time. And coincidentally we have a villager named Sherb (Herb & Sherb McGerb) and now we have a museum that is named the Alvarez museum. Which we didn't even think about when we named our town.

[dinosoaring-stars]

Fuck Ebay. I literally just created an account to get my fiancee a birthday present I know she would love. First it wouldn't let me bid and now then it "suspended" my less than 1 hour new account for who knows why. So I called their fucking number to try and sort it out and I just. Back to square fucking one. Fuck ebay.