i play video games sometimes

[dirtboy-merc]

listen i often take the piss out of life is strange for the cringe dialogue and questionable writing but real talk, the relationship between max and chloe is one of the most salient and legitimate relationships i've ever witnessed in a game. their bond and love for each other feels so REAL and so heavy. it is so beautiful and natural and it makes me cry

[dirtboy-merc]

I WILL NOT TOLERATE THE SIMON SLANDER ANY LONGER.

simon regularly gets dragged by people because he comes off as "stupid." SIMON IS NOT STUPID, HE HAS BRAIN DAMAGE. do people not understand this??? literally the whole game happens because simon went in for an experimental brain scan in hopes of recovering from the horrific car accident he suffered prior to the games events. his brain is literally BLEEDING. so much so that he has to go to the hospital to get his fucking skull cavity drained so the blood buildup doesn't cause even more damage

his condition is demonstrated in the prologue. he has memory problems. he cannot remember where he put the tracer fluid, and has to go through his whole apartment to find it. he forgot to send jesse that email explaining why he wouldn't be coming into work that day. he can't watch TV or movies anymore because screens gives him headaches. he needs to be medicated because his nightmares cause him stress, which can be fatal for him.

simon's scan is not only one of the very first of its kind, therefore quite primitive, but it is also that of a damaged brain. it is 'flatter' than the other scans we encounter. right off the bat, all versions of simon are impaired.

so of course it makes sense that he cannot fully comprehend certain concepts. it makes sense that he doesn't quite grasp what is going on and what will happen to him, even when he is faced with it after getting put in a new suit (WHICH TRAUMATIZES HIM BY THE WAY). and just like the ones who embraced the continuity theory, he clings to hope that he will be saved from the nightmare that is pathos-2.

simon is remarkably fucking chill when you think about it. he navigates the dilapidated structures of pathos-2 quite well, despite not only being impaired, but also coming from an entirely different time period. simon's scan is from 2015. he comes to in fuckin 2104. this guy is resilient as FUCK. and on top of that, he is constantly in danger and has to sneak around and hide from literal abominations trying to tear him apart and also has to cope with the fact that the world fucking ended and almost everyone is DEAD AND GONE. in fact, his impairment is partly what keeps him from going completely insane like the other mockingbirds.

and not to mention the fact that his guiding companion knows all of this. catherine is very careful with the way she words things after she picks up that simon isn't quite understanding the concepts involved. she redirects him from certain thought paths, and omits information she know would upset him. it is subtly manipulative. (but i still adore her)

simon was just a guy. an everyman, if you will. he worked at a bookstore. he dabbled in photography. he liked watching movies. he had an unrequited crush on a friend who died horrifically in the same accident that gave him serious, fatal injuries. he wasn't particularly academic. he wasn't an engineer or in STEM. he was just a guy from toronto who was dealt a very shitty hand and died young. and then his brain scan gets uploaded into an absolute NIGHTMARE.

AND HE STILL GETS SHIT DONE. DO NOT COME FOR MY BOY. HE IS PRECIOUS AND HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN HIS WHOLE LIFE. HE DESERVED BETTER.

[dirtboy-merc]

i think it's so funny how simon just completely and totally ignores the shit out of johan ross. dude looks like an abomination, is stalking him, crawling all over the place, telepathically beaming whole monologues directly into his robot head about the WAU and what went wrong for fucking hours and simon just does not acknowledge him

he just straight up ignores him until he can't take it anymore and is like "ok what the fuck do you want???" in the most exasperated and annoyed tone because he's just fucking sick of this freak and his shit

and if simon does choose to stick his whole arm into the forbidden butthole, when catherine notices his whole fucking forearm is missing, he's just like "quick detour, don't ask" and never mentions it again

[dirtboy-merc]

eivor my beloved

[dirtboy-merc]

mass effect: andromeda was not a bad game and i will DIE on this hill.

it was doomed from the start because of the original ME trilogy. like, how the fuck can you follow up on that? three games where we become attached to these beloved characters. more time to build up and flesh out a story (reaper story kinda sucks though not gonna lie) and ryder just had no chance when they're put up against shepard. ryder was an inexperienced kid who was barred from the alliance due to the AI research alec was doing, and then was thrust into a role of leadership with zero training. of course they're going to struggle and flounder, and OF COURSE they're going to try to be as diplomatic as possible. who wants to start a war immediately upon arriving in a new galaxy and your people are dying? they're not a 'goody-goody two-shoes,' they're just a kid trying to salvage this disaster they were thrust into after the loss of their father.

SAM gets a lot of flack too, just because he isn't EDI. i find SAM to be really charming and adorable. he's almost childlike in his evolution as he grows with ryder and their experiences together. i loved their bond.

yes, the game launched badly with glitches. yes, the facial animations can be goofy as hell (i personally adore it, they make me laugh) and yes, some of the writing is questionable. but it really wasn't the shitshow people make it out to be.

also the combat is hands down some of the best in the franchise, and even in the genre in general.

[dirtboy-merc]

cal kestis has got me in a CHOKEHOLD

[dirtboy-merc]

i can't be the only one who felt EMOTIONS when i heard johnny and v speak again during the phantom liberty trailer right

i just missed johnny and v so much and it made me FEEL THINGS to finally hear them again and know our time with them ain't quite over yet

I AM TOO INVESTED IN CHARACTERS DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE SOMEONE HELP ME

[ichigouniiverse]

I hear you, Upsilon. What’s going on?

[dirtboy-merc]

you tell ‘em, BD-1

[dirtboy-merc]

playing jedi: survivor makes me feel so dumb. i’ll spend 15 minutes in one spot, desperately trying to figure out how i’m supposed to progress: where do i go?? can i jump on that? no. should i jump here? oh no i’m fucking falling to my death again. ok. BD help me. someone help me. where do i go?? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I’M TRAPPED???

and then i notice a ledge that i was just supposed to hop up to. don’t even need jedi gymnastics. or i end up just massively overthinking something that has a very simple and direct solution.

love this game but holy fuck it makes me realize what an oblivious idiot i am

[dirtboy-merc]

my heart is occupied just totally enamored i am obsessed

[dirtboy-merc]

i’m cal, and this is BD-1

cal always introduces BD when he introduces himself and i will never get over how much i fucking love these two lovable puppies. their bond is one of my favorite things about the games. THEY BUDDIES FOR LIFE ALWAYS AND FOREVER

[dirtboy-merc]

can i just say how much i love that cal kestis is a redhead

i just fucking love playing this game and he has this pretty bright red hair because i also have bright red hair and i dunno it just gives me deep satisfaction like THAT'S ME

i love him

[dirtboy-merc]

blue reflection: second light is legitimately one of the most endearing and sweetest jrpgs i've ever played

it's just so fucking cute and adorable and UGH i love the depth they put into each character and my heart can't take it

also the ost is stellar

[dirtboy-merc]

SPOILER WARNINGS FOR THE LAST OF US

watching the hospital scene in the hbo show for the last of us just... it floored me. i mean, it really made me appreciate the differences in the way a show can tell a narrative versus the way a video game can.

video game story-telling is so unique. there’s nothing else like it, you know? you put the player IN the world. you make the player interact with it, and it’s fucking personal. it’s not just watching actors on a screen, it’s YOU doing it. it’s immersive and engrossing, and i think that’s absolutely amazing. especially when it comes to the last of us. it’s brutal in such a unique way. all the different sequences, and the position the game puts the player in. the things we gotta do to survive. the way it makes us invest emotionally, and deeply, in subtle ways. and it comes together in that last portion and it’s really well done.

but that hospital scene in the show just fuckin’ hit different. completely.

in the game, i think the majority of players felt the same way. they were gonna save ellie. there were no qualms about it. we spent the whole game killing npc’s to protect her, and this was no different. and it’s a challenging level, you know? we’re not really thinking about what we’re actually doing in terms of weight and the possible consequences. we’re just saving ellie. just mowing down these npc’s like we have been. it requires some concentration, and that can kinda take away from the emotional weight of what’s going on due to the action and having to focus on the gameplay.

but in the show... that scene is fucking haunting. pedro pascal’s performance was so compelling. the way his facial expression is just... blank. he’s not panicked. he’s not angry. he’s just... on auto-pilot. there’s no reaction from him as he kills all of those fireflies. and us, as the viewers, are just that: viewers. we’re not doing it. we’re just watching. and it’s hard to watch. it’s brutal. and it really drives home how, uh, deranged joel looks. like. holy shit man. this is fucked. this is INTENSE. and the way he does the killing. there’s no hesitation. there’s no emotion at all. even with the firefly who set down his weapon and surrendered. joel just fucking shoots him anyway. and the way he’s just picking up different guns as his runs out of ammo. the way he uses a knife instead to finish the job. when we’re playing it, it feels practical, you know, looting the dead npc’s like we have been. but in the show it’s just like, holy fuck, man. it’s just haunting.

don’t get me wrong, it’s intense in the game, too. but there’s something about seeing it the way the show is able to portray it. with real people. real human beings. the killing and the blood just feels heavier. it’s so visceral. and again, we’re not the ones doing it. we’re not feeling justified or vindicated. we don’t have to defend our actions. it just is what it is. a man killing an entire hospital full of people who could potentially find a cure to save one little girl he’s forged an unbreakable bond with. it gives a different perspective.

tldr: shit is good.

[dirtboy-merc]

i said it once and i'll say it again

THE REBEL PATH FUCKING SLAPS. ONE OF THE BEST TRACKS TO GRACE VIDEO GAMES AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

especially the cello version. IT'S SO GOOD MAKES ME WANNA NUKE A CORRUPT CORP I LOVE IT

tbh the whole ost for cyberpunk 2077 is a fuckin gem

[dirtboy-merc]

you know i really relate to cloud in the ff7 remake. every time he realizes he's being affable or displaying any emotion that isn't apathy, he immediately looks horrified and distressed and then runs away while avoiding eye contact

the man RECOILS at any and all social interaction and tries to avoid it at any cost necessary. but it's not because he thinks he's better than everyone else. it's because he's awkward as fuck and doesn't want to make himself look stupid or vulnerable so he takes the aloof route to the extreme

i..... love him he is my spirit animal