Learning to be Human

Logging my assignments under "Project118"!

[kaisercaimo]

What Do You Think You’re Doing? by Kaiser Caimo

Part 4 of 4.

(Part 1 here)

An aggressively ugly digital zine about making art. Available in full as a pdf for free/pay what you want here: https://gum.co/lUpii

[discoveringhumanity]

I would rather have thought poorly of you, than have my thoughts be true

thinking

[discoveringhumanity]

breaking down at 2am because i have no idea what im doing with my life but any way i can change it won't fix my issues. i live at home and i love my family and im saving for grad school but i hate my job and i feel like a teenager and im only getting older and people expect me to just move back after grad school when im trying to leave leave leave leave leave but im scared so so so so so so so scared i can cut my hair or get another piercing or change my wardrobe or get a tattoo but all that does is waste money and that's my issue i can't get a second job and im stuck with a bullshit part-time job that won't let me go full-time and no job will take me now that im six months away from moving away so now i can't get a different job and i can't get a second job and im trying im trying to hard but what else can i do i can't apply harder and most places i live near aren't responding to me or they aren't open for a morning shift and i'm just so unhappy this is the first time in years ive considered if im depressed today was just so bad for me mentally and it all started because i didn't get enough sleep last night and my brother woke me up to take him to school this is the second time this month ive had to do that and the third time this month he's missed the bus (yesterday he missed the bus but asked out other sister to drive him) and then i was so tired i slept from 10 until 1:30 and i was tired back at 10pm but now it's almost 3 and im just going to ruin my sleep schedule but im so restless and i want to do something write a book make a youtube channel run away stay at home go to bed go to bed go to bed go to bed so now im dredging up old accounts and posting instead of going to bed i should really just go to bed but i want to change i need to change i need to have a better job i need to leave for grad school now and get my degree and get a better job and face the world with a brave face but instead im crying in my room like a teenager with everything changed in my life since then but nothing has changed at all i want to lose weight im already healthy i need to work out im healthy enough i dont want to move on my days off my work is tiring its stupid they won't give retail workers chairs im on my feet all day they hurt they hurt they hurt so so so so so much i need to clean my room but where do i put my stuff im holding onto my childhood while trying to stockpile for my adult life but im an adult now but im really not and i hate everything and im tired from crying and i need to change i need to fix things but what is there to fix i just need to go to bed

i just need to go to bed. it's 3am.

[donponpon]

Let's bite mama!

[dolldeadprincess]

[discoveringhumanity]

sometimes I wish I can sit on the stairs on my childhood home,

right where the top floor meets the railing.

I want to listen to my parents in the kitchen and the cats walk around.

I want to hear my sister thumping about.

If I pick the home of my teenage years,

I want to sit just before the stairs curve.

I want to hear my siblings argue, yell, and play.

And maybe a cat or two will join me as I just sit, and listen.

To my family as they go about their day.

I want to soak in the memories of everyone existing.

A snapshot of the day-to-day.

[mzbdga]

[lucidloving]

D. Alan Holmes, Enlightenment // Signet Amenti // @cryptonature // Alan Wilsom Watts // Evan M. Cohen, "Oceans" // Nikita Gill // @pauladoodles // Julian Gough, "Minecraft End Poem" // Sleeping At Last—Saturn

[bowelflies]

sea butterflies, Limacina helicina (Gastropoda: Limacinidae)

source

[hunter-rodrigez]

It's hard to see here... but sea butterflies are a kind of snail

[theyoungwaldschrat]

It is literally impossible to come up with a fantasy worldbuilding concept that is more outlandishly weird, wonderous and magical than something that already exists in the real world

[stellerfly]

"ai is making it so everyone can make art" Everyone can make art dipshit it came free with your fucking humanity

[hearty-an0n]

mark of athena, rick riordan // Elizabeth Gilbert //Orestes, Euripides // dancing with our hands tied, taylor swift // the song of achilles, madeline miller

of knowing (and loving anyways)

[werewolf-transgenderism]

✅ certified frog post ✅

[aimseytv]

grief is an interesting concept. when things happen that are out of your control and youre forced to grieve, there is no right way to do it. you’ll have people who tell you the “best ways” to grieve, or even the usual “top ten ways to grieve”. but, in reality, nobody can tell you how to, because this grief is your own. you are human, you are allowed to grieve and nobody can tell you the right way to. an analogy i like to use is the ball button grief analogy, which is the one where you imagine a little ball that is hitting against a button. that button is your grief. when the grief begins, when its first happened, the ball is big and is constantly just hitting that button because it has nowhere else to go. however, as time goes on, the ball gets smaller, but the button is still there. the button never leaves, despite how much you can try to get rid of it, the button will always be there. as time goes on, the ball starts to hit the button less as it gets smaller, but less doesn’t mean its gone forever. there may be a day where the ball hasn’t hit the button in a long while, and you even may think its strange how you dont feel as affected as you used to years ago, but then on a random tuesday years after the grief happened, the ball hits the button and you feel it as intensely as you did in the first place, because grief never really goes away. however, its managing with the grief and living through it instead of trying to “get over it” is what matters the most. thats what dealing with grief is for me grief is always with you, and it can be beautiful too. take care of yourselves <3

[aimseytv]

“i sat with my anger long enough until she told me her name was grief” - c.s lewis

[hughhighlander]

a rainbaaaaaah.

sheipsees via valais blacknose sheep scotland

[discoveringhumanity]

Notice

They cared.

Why is that somehow worse than them not?

Maybe “caring” isn’t a good word for this,

because I don’t and never did doubt their love-

but maybe the word is notice. They cared but they didn’t notice.

At least that is what I thought.

That is what I made peace with.

That is what I spent the past four years adapting to.

But they noticed. They did.

Yet they did nothing.

They cared. They noticed. They did nothing.

[misscrazyfangirl321]

A character arc where the character who did terrible things and regrets them is forced to live, to put one foot in front of the other and find healing, who chooses to pour goodness into the world and make the world a better place

Is more satisfying to me than a character arc where the character who did terrible things and regrets them is redeemed through death

99.9% of the time.

[weirdcharacter]

There was a tumblr post about this where basically it was "redemption isn't about people forgiving you because you do better now, it's about you doing better even if no one forgives you."

And honestly this post changed my view on redemption arcs and on the "Redeemed Through Death" arc.

[lyricsilove]