Almost Done

A Puertorican law-student surviving life and sharings his thoughts. Enjoy the randomness.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Player: “So it’s a cult.” Cultist: “It’s not a cult! It’s a legitimate religion! An offshoot of Christianity!” Player: “Sure it is.” Cultist: “Yes! We are just dedicated to when the lights will come from above to save us! We want everyone to be saved!” Player: “Sounds like a cult.” Cultist: “It’s NOT a cult.” Player: “But you have been doing things like sabotaging research to prevent us from progressing scientifically and technologically.” Cultist: “Yes but it’s necessary so the people stay pure for-” Player: “Cult!” Player 2: “It does sound like a cult.” Cultist: “It isn’t! We have 10,000’s of members all over the globe doing god’s work to keep everyone pure!” Player: “Cult.” Cultist: “Not a cult! We even have members in the government! This entire city we are in is full of members running the government! Even the mayor here is a member!” Player: “Oh is he?” Cultist: “Yeah, and the financial and educational district leaders too!” Players: “My oh my, I guess we should go discuss with them whether it’s a cult or not.” Cultist: “Wait what. Wait- you! You PLAYED me!” Player: “Like the cheap kazoo you are.” Cultist: “What- fuck you!” Player: *Leaving the interrogation room* Oh, still a cult, by the way.“ Cultist: “Its not a-!” (The door closes behind the player and cuts him off)

TL;DR: It was a cult.

[bear1na]

Death by Ben Oliver *

[yo-daddys-my-bitch]

May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

10 of Pentz came thruuu

[violaslayvis]

Omg this actually works!!! Thank you 10 of Pentacles!!!

[borkdork]

I could seriously use this money right now….

[ashashi-corner]

Please give me my refund of 400$ soon…

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

I feel obligated to reblog this every time it shows up in my dash

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

No bragging, just 100% floored and grateful. Work hard, maintain a positive attitude, and believe that anything can happen.

[virgocity]

So I reblogged this exactly a week ago because I thought it was funny and uh lo and behold, a family friend wrote me a big ol’ check just to help me out of a tough financial spot AND my bank refunded me $32 for fees they’d originally taken out. SO UH YEAH. Reblogging this again in hopes that it brings equally good fortune to my followers.

[penprp]

Sure why not? Jobs bring in money and prosperity…

[leradny]

I NEED TO FIX MY CAR DOOR

[getlostpeeves]

It fucking WORKED.

[witchy-oates]

So I just retweeted this today and won $20 off a scratch off and made $30 on top of that, hallelujah 

[autumnalhalcyon]

I’ve literally been going into work sick as a dog, I need this.

[shencomix]

Link for convenience: emotionbuffdudes.com

Hey y’all.

As some of you know, this comic started right here on Tumblr. It in fact, stayed exclusively here for a while. Here is a link the first post ever of anything having to do with Owlturd/Shen Comix, made on Feb 20, 2013:

http://shencomix.com/post/43543443143/hello-world

And here is the text of it:

Welcome, dear visitor, to Owl Turd Comix. I generally go by Shenanigansen, and I’ll be your host today – feel free to settle in and get comfortable. You might be thinking:

1. Shen, how are you so good at naming things? (It’s a talent.)

1b. Can you name my baby? (Yes.)

3. So what is this site and what will it be used for?

Well, usually I would prefer to remain mysterious and say something like “all will be clear in due time,” and that’s mostly because I myself only have the foggiest idea of the answer to that last question. I will post comics here. Will they be funny? Eh, hit and miss, I imagine, just like anything else.

But I’ll at least get a smile out of you. I promise.

Cheeky, right? But I was being totally honest about the “no idea what I’m doing” part. Many people ask me why I called it “Owlturd Comix.” It was because I was looking up funny domains on godaddy, and decided to start a webcomic on a whim at 2 AM.

Now here we are, what, 5 years and some months later?

A book. Holy shit.

All of this would have come to nothing without your readership and support. I wouldn’t be making these comics if y’all weren’t there to read them. So, whether you’re a longtime fan or you just discovered this stuff yesterday, I just want to say this: Thank you.

[nojillnolife]

[peeingwithjizz]

[bandainamcous]

.hack//G.U. is back better than ever! Get ready to log back into .hack as the beloved cross media franchise returns with enhanced graphics, improved gameplay, and brand new modes! Join Haseo as he fights to discover what’s reality in “The World” and save his friend Shino, who was put into a coma in the real world by the Player Killer Tri-Edge.

Celebrate the 15th anniversary of the franchise with the epic G.U trilogy, including the original .hack//G.U. titles - Rebirth, Reminisce, and Redemption - now with enhanced system features such as battle balance and game pacing!

.Hack//G.U Last Recode is coming soon to the PS4 and PC!

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Suzan the Battle Pig

So, I’m in a campaign where everyone starts as level 0 commoners and we all flail around trying not to die horribly for as long as possible. Somehow, amidst all this carnage, an unexpected hero joined us.

DM: you are ambushed by three angry Gnolls. What do you do?

Dwarf herder (me): *looks through inventory* wait…I have a sow?

DM: Yep. You’re a herder.

Herder: Imma try and get her to attack the Gnolls. *rolls a d20 and gets an 18*

DM: ok, she attacks. Roll a d4 for damage.

Herder: *rolls 4*

DM:….your pig kills the Gnoll.

Herder: I’m naming this sow Suzan the Battle Pig. Good job, Suzan!

~~~~later~~~~

Herder: *dies by another angry Gnoll*

Me: wait, can Suzan still fight?

DM: roll persuasion to see if your other character can convince her to help.

Me: *rolls nat20*

DM: Suzan is filled with rage and discovers an insatiable hunger for Gnoll flesh. She now attacks with a d6.

Suzan: *kills the remaining Gnoll boss and Gnoll magician*

Me: Suzan is gonna eat the Gnolls

DM:…ok, she eats the big one and gains 5XP and one point of luck. She’s too full to eat the other one.

Me: Suzan carries the magic Gnoll with her.

~~~~one short rest later~~~~

Me: can Suzan eat her Gnoll now?

DM:….oh right, you did say you carried that. Sure. As Suzan eats the magic Gnoll, she feels a rush of magical energy in her mind. Her brain is rebuilt by this magic so that she has…. *rolls d20 and gets a 15* Oh, for fu–Suzan has 15 intelligence now and the ability to cast spells. Congratulations.

[sabrinadrewit]

This can’t be a coincidence.

[gundamflexing]

[theblogeternities]

What a multiplayer commander game looks like + pirates for Ixalan hype~

[bizarre-trader]

NO PARTS OF THE BODYS SAFE

YEEN TRIES TO WALK MARKET AN SMOL GOBBO KEEPS TRYING TO STAB AT LEG

NO SOP YEEN IS NEEDS THE LEG

AN THEN OTHER GOBBO TRIES TO GET AT THIS HANSOM FACE??

WHERE IS A BOROS OR AZOROS TO PUT BOOK IN WAY OF ONCOMING SHANKING???

[mtg-realm]

Magic: the Gathering - Dat Flav !

Some fine flavour text to be found on the cards Tidal Surge, Ogre Taskmaster, Wild Griffin and Tremor, from Portal Second Age.

Four little goblins, trapped by the sea. One teased a serpent, and then there were three.

Three little goblins, enjoying their brew. One bumped an ogre, and then there were two.

Two little goblins, out in the sun. Down came a griffin, and then there was one.

One little goblin shook up the ground. When the dust cleared, no one was found.

Portal Second Age had a theme of Goblin tribal cards, as is seen on Goblin Matron, Goblin General and Goblin War Strike. This was probably included to teach new players about the significance of the creature types on cards.

[abzanascendancy]

Before colorless non-artifact creatures were a thing, there was fear, which stated ‘a creature can’t be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or black creatures’.

This means that, yes, Eldrazi do feel fear.

@wizardsmagic

[markocomics]

Lil warrior

[techtonicactivity]

#is this hollow knight

[syntillatingturtle-deactivated2]

Finally done with the panorama of all the swords. Good lord it does not translate well to a black and white format.

ROOOOOAR

[mtgaddicted]

incredible

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Objection!

This was a series of events told to me by a Tumblr-less friend to post here. Necessary context: a dragonborn rogue, in spite of his class and proficiencies, has a love of fighting with a greatsword - specifically, a unique one picked up a few sessions in that has an undercommon phrase engraved on it that none of the players can read. One session, he goes ahead of his party to investigate in a mansion, and comes across another greatsword hanging on the wall, which has the same phrase written on it.

Rogue: Hey, that’s my sword!

DM: Well, a copy of your sword, basically, yeah.

Rogue: I refuse to share my sword with anyone! I want to sue whoever owns this sword.

DM: That’s not-

Rogue: I ROLL TO SUE.

DM: You don’t even know who… you know what, fine. Roll Charisma with disadvantage.

Rogue rolls. Lowest roll is a 21.

DM: …you track down the owner of the sword, a veteran fighter, and sue him. The case is taken to court. Roll for how well your lawyer does.

Rogue, laughing, rolls a nat 20.

DM: (having gone from annoyed to greatly entertained) Alright, you perform a ritual and summon Phoenix Wright from another dimension, and he successfully gets the veteran declared guilty of plagiarism. All this took about a week. You receive 1500 gold in “damages” and finally return to the mansion, where the rest of your party has been impatiently waiting to continue your quest.

Other party member: I punch him in the face. (rolls, hits)

Rogue: Can I roll to sue for assault? (everyone glares at him) …I take the damage.