Summary: We learn about the villian of this story. Maya and Namjoon face the mental repercussions of experiencing trauma and come in terms with their own selves and their relationship.
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Previous Part: Chapter 32
2 years after Maya’s Kidnapping
It had been a few years since the kidnapping. The case had closed about a year and a half ago and the decision was that Maya’s infamous kidnapper would go to jail for 15 years. But there are two sides to each story. Up till this point, you had gotten to learn a lot about Maya and Namjoon. But you may be wondering, who was Maya’s kidnapper? Who would be so cruel to hurt another human in such a way? Why did the previous chapter end the way it did? Well, it’s time for this story to shift attention. Let’s meet the villain of this story. Let’s meet Kim Ree-Mi, the woman with the red dress that Namjoon met in that dark room.
Kim Ree-Mi is the daughter of a well-known businessman in Korea. She has an MBA from Harvard. But besides being very well-educated. Ree-Mi is also quite generous. She volunteers at the homeless shelter every Saturday and donated a considerable amount of money to BTS’s #EndViolence campaign. Ree-Mi also used to have a fansite before the kidnapping incident. Yes, her fansite was dedicated to Namjoon. As mentioned in her conversation with Namjoon, she had known about BTS’s music even before they debuted. She went to almost every event and dedicated her life to BTS. You can say, she was in love. A love that was so strong that she often couldn’t understand how to process her feelings. Every second of her life belonged to Namjoon and BTS. She barely slept at times, making sure Namjoon was sound asleep.
You may be wondering, how did she know whether Namjoon was asleep? Well, these things are so easy to find out nowadays. Tracking phones, cameras, and easily influenced staff members, all helped Ree-Mi keep her eye on Namjoon at all times. No matter what part of the world Namjoon was in, Ree-Mi was there too. Money can get you anything in this world...well, almost anything.
Some consider Ree-Mi as a saesang. And she would proudly admit that she was. Her love for Namjoon wasn’t the stupid superficial type like the other saesangs. Her love was real. And there was nothing in this world that could change her mind about that. She did stop keeping an eye on Namjoon after going to prison. But even during that time, she would often write letters to Namjoon asking how he was doing. He never responded. But that’s okay.
To get to the point, Ree-Mi only had one motive to kidnap Maya. Ree-Mi wanted to see how real Maya’s love was for Namjoon. Was Maya even capable enough to be with Namjoon? To find out Ree-Mi had kept an eye on Maya’s every move since Maya and Namjoon went on their first date and in the end she had concluded that Maya and Namjoon had some deep connection. That would be the only possible explanation of why Namjoon would risk so much for someone so ordinary such as Maya.
Ree-Mi wasn’t jealous of Maya...Okay, maybe she was a little jealous. But honestly, she was mostly intrigued by Maya. She was intrigued by the way Namjoon would look at Maya. Ree-Mi often imagined what it would have been like if Namjoon had looked at her the same way he looked at Maya.
But alas, he never did. So, in pure frustration and anger, Ree-Mi began to bother Maya with those threats. Initially, those threats weren’t meant as anything. They were just meant to ruin Maya’s day. However, one day when Maya and Namjoon did an interview for the Huempathy campaign and Ree-Mi saw the way Namjoon defended Maya, a part of Ree-Mi sort of collapsed and she gave in to her urge of hurting Maya. That afternoon when Maya went back to her dressing room, Ree-Mi had left her a note.
“You have two choices. You can either leave this campaign and Namjoon right now or suffer the consequences”
Maya stupidly chose to run to Namjoon and she forgave him for hurting her. In fact, Maya and Namjoon even spent the night together after that press conference because Maya was afraid she would die soon, if the threats were true, and wanted to spend whatever time she had left with the love of her life. But at the time, Ree-Mi thought, by choosing to become closer to Namjoon, Maya was asking for a war.
And so the war began. A war that had a very dissatisfactory ending. Ree-Mi ended up hurting the one person she wanted to protect. Her weapons ended up hurting Namjoon more than anyone else. She can never forgive herself for that. She will never forget the pain she caused Namjoon and the guilt that she knew would eventually consume her.
To cope with the guilt, Ree-Mi spent the first few months in prison thinking about ways to apologize to Namjoon. That was why she had written the letters. But when she didn’t receive a response, she knew she had to choose another way of dealing with the guilt. During her time in prison, Ree-Mi also reflected on her actions towards Maya and realized that if she truly loved Namjoon, she would also respect his love for Maya.
That’s why Ree-Mi decided to write a story.
The story that Ree-Mi wrote was about a woman and man that were meant to be together and they would have visions about the future when they touched and looked at each other. But due to fate, they suffered various obstacles to be together. Ree-Mi hoped that Namjoon would read this story and realize that Ree-Mi had come to the realized that she had no place in Namjoon’s life and that was okay. Ree-Mi will always view Namjoon and Maya as prime examples of soulmate.
With that, I announce that I am Kim Ree-Mi, the writer of this story.
Each and every word of this story is just my perception of Maya and Namjoon. This story represents my love for Namjoon and the love of his life, Maya. Everything you read so far was just my take on Maya and Namjoon’s relationship. Me, a saesang and also the villain of the story. You must be wondering what I gained out of writing this story. Well, actually I gained a lot.
These past several months have really made me question what it means to be a fan. Do I hold even a little space in my idol’s heart? Does it even matter whether my idol knows who I am in the grand scheme of life? If the idol and fan relationship means nothing, then what is the meaning of everything I worked for these past several years? Is it Namjoon’s fault that he didn’t fall in love with me even though I was there in front of him this whole time? Or, is it my fault for believing that I could be with him without ever truly knowing him? Who is Kim Namjoon? Who is Kim Ree-Mi? What is my identity outside of being a terrible saesang that almost killed her own idol? I thought I would ponder these questions until my last breath. But writing this story made me realize, there was no right answer. I started as a fan of Namjoon’s music, but along the way, I forgot my own identity in the process of loving him. This story made me realize, I was only an outsider in Namjoon’s life. That is what we’ll all always be. Only Namjoon and Maya would know themselves.
In the end, Namjoon and I could not be together in this life, but maybe in another, we’ll end up together. I hope Namjoon and Maya both live a peaceful life and I apologize for the trouble I have caused. May they both live happily ever after.
Publisher’s note: Kim Ree-Mi passed away right after submitting her final draft of this story to us. Please note that we did not know she would take her life when she had began writing the story. We pray she rests in peace.
———--END OF FATEFUL VISIONS————
Epilogue
Note: This portion of the story is not written from Kim Ree-Mi’s perspective and is not a part of “Fateful Visions.” This is the real Maya and Namjoon.
6 Months after Namjoon was released from the Hospital
It had been some time since the incident. It had been a while since Namjoon had been inside that dark room where Maya was kept. But those images still felt fresh inside his head. Namjoon held on to his desktop mouse tightly as he felt a sense of panic come over him suddenly. He was just sitting at his computer, working on a song, when a random melody triggered the panic. For some reason, the melody reminded him of the incident and that elicited the stress. Namjoon gripped the mouse tightly, trying to take deep breaths. The images of Maya being stuck in the room, the feeling of getting shot, both kept lingering inside his head. Namjoon felt like he couldn't breathe.
He felt like he was about to faint. His back brace, from the physical rehabilitation center, was starting to feel tight suddenly. Like he was suffocating in his own skin. He clenched his jaw, trying to fight the feeling, fight himself, and turned off the speaker. The melody stopped playing and suddenly felt a wave of relief. He tried to breathe again. Soaking in the silence.
All of a sudden he heard the door to his studio open and heard footsteps followed by someone setting something on the table behind him and suddenly someone covered his eyes. Namjoon was about to panic again until he realized the softness of those hands belonged to none other than Maya.
“--Maya” Namjoon mumbled.
“Happy Birthday, Joon” Maya tenderly replied.
“Thanks...sorry, I was just working on a—” Namjoon’s sentence was cut off as Maya held up the object she had placed earlier on the table behind him. It was a small cake.
“Don’t be sorry...I am sorry for barging in like this, but I wanted to get here earlier before our appointment so I can give this to you.”
Maya handed Namjoon the cake with a small candle on it. Namjoon smiled and took the cake into his hands.
“Didn’t we already celebrate last night?” Namjoon asked in confusion. Last night Maya had kept Namjoon awake, so that as soon as the clock had struck 12, Maya and the other BTS members could surprise Namjoon with a small party. It was just in BTS’s apartment and it was really just them, but still, the party had gone on till the early morning.
“Well, that party was more for the boys. They planned that whole thing and I was just a device to keep you distracted.” Maya laughed. “You can say I am selfish and I wanted us to have our own little celebration,” Maya added.
“That’s hardly selfish…I wanted to spend time with you too.” Namjoon nodded and calmly responded.
“Okay now blow out your candle before the candle wax ruins the cake!” Maya urged.
Namjoon closed his eyes and blew out the candle, making a small wish.
“...Happy Birthday to you!!! Yayyy!” Maya sang the birthday song with just as much enthusiasm as she did last night.
Maya took the cake from Namjoon’s hand and handed him the knife so he can cut the cake. Then they both shifted over to the couch in his studio, feeding each other a bite of the cake.
“This is nice…” Namjoon stated suddenly.
“Yeah, it is…” Maya replied. “So, should we head out for our appointment?” Maya continued.
Namjoon sighed. “yeah, let’s just get it over with”
“You are still afraid…” Maya responded.
“I just hope you don’t leave me after talking to the therapist.” Namjoon was only half-joking.
“That’s not how it works, Joon!” Maya retorted with a slight eye roll.
“Good!” Namjoon said.
Maya helped Namjoon settle into his wheelchair and rolled him out of the studio. Namjoon was still recovering and so he was still using a wheelchair to get around. For the past 6 months, he had been visiting multiple physical and occupational therapists, learning to walk and move around again. Maya was also recovering. Physically she was in much better shape than Namjoon, but mentally both Namjoon and Maya were not doing as well. Things like this change people and their relationship.
A couple of weeks ago, Maya’s younger sister had come to visit Maya in Seoul. Through conversations, she suggested that both Maya and Namjoon go see a therapist. Not only for themselves but for each other. At first, both Namjoon and Maya were hesitant but eventually agreed to give it a try. Han Bi recommended the name of a therapist and both Namjoon and Maya decided to make an appointment.
As Namjoon and Maya arrived, Namjoon was asked to wait in the lobby by the assistant and Maya was led to the doctor’s office first. Maya paused and stared at the door of the therapist and noted the name. Dr. Park Jia was written on the door. Maya took a deep breath and knocked lightly. She was not ready for any of this. But she also knew if she didn’t do this now, the emotional and mental wounds would fester even more.
“Come in” someone inside replied.
Maya opened the door and walked inside. First thing Maya saw was dark wooden furniture and an enormous bookshelf that was filled with what seemed like textbooks.
“Hi…” the lady sitting at the desk replied. The woman was beautiful. She looked like she could be an idol or a model. Her eyes were warm and friendly, yet if one looked closely the may see some sort of sadness within them. Perhaps, it was listening to other people’s sadness, that had impacted the woman to this extent. The woman smiled as she made eye contact with Maya. Her smile seemed familiar to Maya.
“...I am Dr. Park. But you can call me Jia…” Jia, the woman at the desk continued. She spoke in fluent English.
Maya smiled in return and made her way to the desk and responded in English. “Hi, I am Maya.”
“Nice to meet you Maya, please have a seat,” Jia replied.
“You speak English?” Maya asked as she sat down and noticed that Jia barely had an accent.
Jia blushed slightly and replied. “Uh...yeah, I studied Psychology in America...plus I wanted to make you feel more comfortable and thought it would be easier if I spoke in your native language.”
Maya laughed. “At this point, I feel like my Korean is better than my English, to be honest. But thank you for being so considerate.”
“Well, that must be true, since you also wrote your book in Korean.” Jia laughed as well while speaking in Korean.
“Where in America did you study Psychology?” Maya asked.
“I went to UC Berkley” Jia responded.
“Wow, California huh? I am from there too.”
“Oh really? I always heard you were from Arkansas.”
“Well, no, that’s where I did my graduate degree.”
“Ah! I see.”
Both became silent for a second.
“How do you know so much about me?” Maya suddenly asked.
Jia laughed again. “BTS and Maya Shroff are pretty famous in Korea. I don’t think there is anyone that doesn’t know you all.”
“Ah... yeah... you are right. I guess I am still not used it...” Maya slowly responded, suddenly remembering the cost she had paid for this fame.
Jia awkwardly cleared her throat. “So, anyways, today, I wanted to sort of create a structure for how we want to do this. I can help you as much as you help yourself and so the question is really what would you like to attain from your time with me? Or, what are you having trouble with?”
Maya was surprised by the question. She had no idea what she wanted from her therapy sessions. She hadn’t given much thought.
“Honestly...I am not sure.” Maya responded after a few seconds.
“That’s okay. We can figure that out today. But for that, I may have to ask you some questions that you might feel uncomfortable answering. Is that okay?” Jia smiled again. It was strange, but every time Jia smiled, her smile reminded Maya of someone she knew. She couldn’t pinpoint who.
Maya nodded.
“So, let me ask you, what do you usually do nowadays? Are you working on another book?” Jia asked.
“Uh, no...I have just been I guess resting recently. My family visited recently, so I have been spending time with them as well.”
“Ah, yes do you have any siblings?”
“Yeah, I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters” Maya stared at her hands in her lap as she responded.
“Woah, that’s a big family. Are they all in America?”
“Right now, yes…”
“Hmm, do you miss them sometimes?”
“Sometimes, yes…”
“I always wondered, how did you get interested in Korean literature?”
“I think the language is beautiful and the stories are always fascinating. I guess I just feel like I can express myself better in Korean.”
“In what ways?” Jia probed.
“I am not sure...it’s just easier for me to write in Korean and sort of articulate my emotions through Korean words. I guess I never thought about why that is. Maybe I was meant to come here so my heart always gravitated towards the language.”
“Ah, that makes sense. Does that mean you believe in fate?”
Maya didn’t respond at first. She turned towards the small window in the office that was on her left.
“I think I do.”
“Does this mean you believe that your experiences are your fate?”
Jia’s words sort of rung inside Maya’s ears. The last time she had really thought about fate was when she was receiving the threats.
“I mean it has to be some form of fate for me to meet Namjoon or to have my blog become so big or to...even experience what happened six months ago, don’t you think? A tear escaped Maya’s eyes. She quickly wiped it.
“What about your choices? Don’t they play a role in your outcome?” Jia asked.
“It’s not like I chose to fall in love with an idol or have a stalker following my every move”
“No, you didn’t. And you definitely did not choose to experience the pain you are feeling right now.” Jia replied. “...But, it does not mean you do not have a choice now.”
“What do you mean?” Maya asked.
“I guess we don’t choose the outcomes, but we choose our path that leads to different outcomes. And we can choose our responses to those outcomes. When I asked you if you believe your experiences are due to your fate, your first response was to jump to the conclusion that I was referring to your relationship with Namjoon or the kidnapping incident. But honestly, I was just referring to your experiences in general.” Jia replied.
“Maya, you have suffered through something that is beyond traumatic and your feelings and your pain are absolutely valid and normal. But you have your whole life ahead of you. You can either choose to define the word ‘experiences’ with your kidnapping or you can change your definition of the word ‘experience’. I think we have found your goal. What do you think?” Jia asked.
Maya paused to think about Jia’s words for a second. For the past six months, everyone around Maya talked about the same things, the same incident, and the same problems. The police, the media, the company, the fans, everyone wanted to remind Maya of those few days in that dark room. But the truth was, Maya couldn’t remember much from those few days. She was always drowsy and tired and numb. The things she did remember were just the weapons that they used to hit her and the hands that had touched her body. Even in those moments, the sensation of pain was almost foreign, as her body would freeze, almost working as an anesthetic.
“Yeah...that would be nice,” Maya answered.
“It might be a lot of work though. Will you be willing to do the work?” Jia asked.
Maya nodded.
“Good. So let me ask you, have you felt anything different since coming out of the hospital?”
“Like what?”
“Like do you feel safe? Do you feel in control of your body?”
Maya thought back to the previous night. She was sitting and watching TV with Namjoon, but she flinched when she heard the doorbell. It was just Seokjin dropping off some food, but even that doorbell had forced Maya to break into a sweat. She knew that was not a normal reaction.
“Sometimes, I get scared by the most trivial things. It used to be that I was only afraid of someone raising their voice with me or when someone made sudden movements towards me. But nowadays, I get scared even by a doorbell.”
“Oh really? Since when did you become scared of people raising their voice around you?” Jia noted something down in a notebook.
“I guess ever since I was little, but more so after I met my ex...he was...not the nicest person…”
“Do your parents know about this?”
“Ummm...no, not really…”
“Why do you think this started when you were little?”
“I am not sure... I guess my family and friends say I was always a scared little girl. I remember I was so nervous to move to Arkansas.”
“Sometimes fear is really just a mechanism to protect us from more danger. We can help alleviate the fear by showing you instances where sudden movements, doorbells, and loud sounds don’t always mean danger.”
Maya nodded.
“I have a question for you, Maya. Please feel free to say you don’t want to answer it right now. But I must ask, why do you think you didn’t tell the police earlier about the threats?”
Maya pursed her lips. This was a question that everyone had been asking her for the past several months.
“I had received my first threat after I went on the first date with Namjoon. I have never told this to him because I know he would feel even more upset if he ever found out...And then the threats stopped for a long time. But then they started again when I got back in contact with Namjoon. Also, I decided to do the Huempathy campaign because I felt like women like me don’t have a voice sometimes. Honestly, Namjoon and I were not on good terms when we started the campaign. We weren’t even together at the time, we were just pretending. I had told Namjoon about the first threat, and that’s why I had the...the bodyguards. But then, I felt like if I told him about the other threats, he would have forced me to step back. And I didn’t want to step back. So I didn’t. Besides, I didn’t think something would actually happen.”
“Wow, you seem to have a lot of thoughts about this. Have many people asked this question?”
“It was the only question that I have been getting these past few months.”
“Well, I have a task for you. I want you to think of all the times in your life that you remember feeling unsafe or you flinched and write it down, that way we can talk about it and process it together. You might have started to associate everyday things with fear or you may have started to associate Namjoon with feelings of unsafety. We can try to work through that together so you can change your thoughts about it.” Jia replied.
“It’s not that I associate Namjoon with feelings of unsafety. He is the only person I feel safe around, to be honest...I just notice that something feels strange between us ever since the incident.” Maya admitted.
“How so?” Jia wanted clarification.
“We haven’t talked about the incident with each other since it happened. I mean at least not one on one.”
“Hmmm...do you think you are afraid of having the conversation? Or do you think he is afraid?”
“I think it’s both of us.”
“Do you think you are afraid this incident has taken a toll on your relationship?”
“It has. But I don’t know how to fix it.” Maya finally broke down.
“How about you write down what you want to say to him. Sometimes writing it out is easier than talking and if that doesn’t work, you can practice talking to me. What do you think about that?”
Maya nodded. She hadn’t written a single word in the past six months, but hearing Jia saying this gave Maya at least some motivation to open up her laptop again.
“Yeah, I will try writing it down.”
“Alright, Maya our time is coming to an end today. But I do want to say that you are already doing an amazing job handling this. You know what to work on now, and that’s the best place to start. It won’t be easy, but I think you can do this. You can do anything. Right?”
Jia handed Maya a kleenex and smiled. It was strange but looking at Jia comforted Maya. Maya stood up from her seat.
“Thanks Jia. It was nice meeting you.” Maya bowed and prepared to leave the room.
“Yeah, same here,” Jia replied and stood up from her seat, following Maya to the door.
Jia came outside with Maya and followed her to the lobby where Namjoon was sitting with a notebook and a pen in his hand. He was writing something.
When Maya went up to Namjoon, Namjoon looked up. Namjoon gave Maya a smile and put his notebook in his pocket. Then Namjoon’s gaze shifted towards Jia.
“Hi, I am Dr. Park Jia...you can call me Jia.” Jia introduced herself and bowed.
Namjoon was still in his wheelchair and still wearing his back brace so he bowed only slightly.
“I am Namjoon. It’s nice to meet you,” Namjoon replied.
“Shall we go in?” Jia suggested.
Namjoon nodded and tried to wheel himself towards the office. However, Jia went behind him and helped him instead. “I can help.” She said.
Maya sat down in a chair in the lobby while Jia helped Namjoon with the wheelchair and rolled him into her office.
When he got inside the office, the first thing Namjoon saw was the bookshelf. It was massive and was filled what seemed like textbooks. He also noticed that there were 3 copies of Maya’s book Wan Blue Night. Namjoon felt a surge of guilt. It had been months since Maya’s book came out, and to be honest, he had not read it. He should have read it. But he couldn’t. Every time he looked at the book, a sense of pain would take over him. Seeing Jia have 3 copies of his girlfriend’s book made him feel even more guilty.
Jia noticed Namjoon looking at the books, so she went over and held up one of the copies.
“Ah, I can’t believe Maya Shroff was in my office just now and I forgot to get her to sign my copy! I can’t believe myself! I’ll have to remember it next time I see her.” Jia took the book over at her desk and set it on the corner and looked over at Namjoon.
“Uh yeah...it’s okay, I am sure Maya would be happy to sign the copy for you,” Namjoon replied.
“Yeah, she is quite sweet.” Jia agreed.
Namjoon finally looked over at his therapist, Jia. And it was crazy but he felt like he had met her before. Jia’s face and smile were abnormally familiar. It was like he was experiencing Deja Vu. Or, perhaps it was Jamais Vu.
“I am sorry but have we met before?” Namjoon suddenly asked.
Jia was taken aback by Namjoon’s sudden question. She laughed. “Uh well, if being at your last year’s stadium concert counts, then yeah I guess we’ve met…”
“Oh, you came to our concert?” Namjoon blushed and asked. All these years and he was still not used to having fans in the most ordinary places.
“Yeah, I have only been to one of your concerts, but it was great! I thoroughly enjoyed it!” Jia exclaimed.
“...but to answer your question, I don’t think we’ve met. And don’t worry, I am not an ARMY by any means. I am definitely Maya’s fan.”
“Oh it’s...it’s not a big deal. I mean…” Namjoon didn’t know how to word his concern.
“No, it’s okay... I know it would have been uncomfortable if I was an ARMY. But I assure you, I only know as much as an average person might know about you and Maya.” Jia assured.
Jia’s guess was right. Namjoon was worried that if Jia was an ARMY, that would completely change his dynamic with her. In the past few months, Namjoon was feeling quite unsure how to react around fans, considering everything that had happened with Ree-Mi.
Jia saw this as a way for her to find an in towards Namjoon’s feelings.
“How are you doing Mr. Kim Namjoon?” Jia asked directly.
“I...I am doing okay.”
“I am asking Namjoon how he is doing, not RM.” Jia clarified.
Namjoon looked towards Jia, her eyes were warm and comforting, but Namjoon also noticed some form of sadness in her eyes. He wondered what the sadness was about.
“ I am not sure what you mean…” Namjoon asked.
“I am asking how you as a human being outside of idol life are doing? What have you been up to? Any hobbies? Or plans?”
Namjoon knew what Jia was asking, but truth be told, he still didn’t have much of an answer.
“I am doing okay. Just recovering and working on music. It’s really hard to do anything with this back brace and wheelchair…”
“That’s understandable. What activities did you use to do before…?”
“Before I got shot?” Namjoon was direct. Unlike Maya, he hated when people tried to beat around the bush about the kidnapping incident. He didn’t want sympathy from people. Namjoon and his girlfriend had enough of that already. He wanted justice. He was still angry.
“Yeah...before you got shot.” Jia picked up on Namjoon’s anger from the way he said the phrase.
“I mean I used to like going to the Han River and biking. I also liked going to exhibits, but I honestly never really had time to do much of that once we started doing more tours and albums.”
“Do you think you as Namjoon would like to do that now?”
“I am not sure. I feel like things are just different now.” Namjoon replied.
“Why is that?” Jia probed.
“...I think I just don’t find those things as much fun anymore.”
“That’s okay. People change and we start developing new hobbies. But for that, we have to give ourselves some time. You mentioned you started working on music again? How is that going?”
Namjoon remembered the panic attack he had experienced earlier in the day. His motivation to produce music had depleted. He was only using music as a distraction from his own thoughts, and he knew that.
“It’s going well I guess…”
“Oh really? Music is really powerful. It can be healing at times, but it can also actually be quite painful at times if you start listening to the wrong songs.”
“I have never heard that before…” Namjoon gave Jia a puzzled look.
“I don’t know if this is true in your case, but I know that for a lot of people listening to some melodies can create panic. Has that happened to you before?”
Namjoon sighed. “Yeah, it has.”
“Do you know why you feel this panic?”
“I don’t know. Every time I hear the melody I am working on it reminds me of that woman. Maybe the intonation of her voice that my brain sort of associates with this melody.”
“This might not be something you want to hear, but have you thought about just taking a break from music.”
“I mean I can’t just quit music. I have obligations that I am already not fulfilling. I can’t perform for a year at least...It’s unfair to my members how much time I am taking away from performing. I have put them through so much already…”
“Yes, maybe...but don’t you think it’s more of an inconvenience for them to see you in pain?”
“I feel terrible seeing them having to perform without me. They already have so much going on and on top of that, I am not there…” Namjoon sighed.
“What kind of relationship would you say you have with your group members?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean do you talk to your members about your personal life?”
“Oh...of course, I remember when I first considered dating Maya, the first person I told was Yoongi hyung…they are the most important people in my life. They are my family.”
“Okay, well here is another question, what do you see when you look in the mirror?”
“A man with a terribly broken body,” Namjoon responded bitterly.
“Well, I see a miracle. I wasn’t aware of what was going on at the time when you were shot. But I remember the morning they took you to the hospital, the news were saying you were dying or would be dead soon. And they were showing millions of messages on SNS and other fans crying in videos. It felt terrible to think that we would never see you…and I barely even know you”, Jia paused and folded her hands together, adjusting her posture.
“...Since you were direct with me earlier, I will be direct with you. Namjoon you just came out of a near-death experience. Your family, your girlfriend, your parents, all almost lost you. But all those things aside, you didn’t die. You are alive and well, sitting in front of me, against all odds. If you had died, there would not have been a BTS leader RM or Kim Namjoon. But you didn’t. So now what? You are getting a second chance. So what do you want to do with this chance?”
Namjoon thought about it for a second. “I am not sure…”
“And that’s okay. That’s what we are here to figure out. Your body might heal quicker than your mental wounds. In a year maybe you might physically feel better and think you are ready to perform, but mentally you might not feel ready, and that’s okay. If your members are your family, they’ll understand. Because you would understand too if they had been going through the same thing, right?”
Namjoon nodded. Jia wasn’t scolding Namjoon, but the way she was talking to him made him feel like he was talking to an old friend, rather than a therapist. He needed someone to talk to him so candidly. Someone who wasn’t going to sugar coat things or try to show sympathy.
“I guess I am just worried because I am the leader…”
“Or, maybe you are afraid they won’t need you if you are gone too long…” Jia had hit a sensitive nerve inside Namjoon that he had never even noticed he had. “Your biggest pride is being the leader of BTS. Without it maybe you don’t see yourself as valuable…”
Namjoon pursed his lips. He was not ready to hear that. Was he so easy to figure out? How had Jia figured him out so easily?
“I am proud of BTS. I am proud of RM.” Namjoon clenched his jaw and responded. He knew that the answer was terribly superficial, but that’s all he could say.
“And what about Namjoon?” Jia asked.
“RM is part of Namjoon. A very important part.” Namjoon responded.
“But it’s not the whole picture. From what I am seeing, you have mentioned your music and your obligation as the leader. But have failed to mention your other aspects...such as yourself and even your relationship with your parents or your girlfriend.”
Namjoon was irritated because he knew Jia was right. He thought back to the night at the Grammys when he found out that Maya was missing. He stayed there at the event, and for what?
“Are you saying I am not a good son or boyfriend?” Namjoon asked in between short sobs that erupted out of nowhere.
“No...I am saying you are too good of an idol and leader. You are so good that you forgot that you are also a human.” Jia got up from her seat and walked up towards her bookshelf again. This time she picked up a small picture that was inside a photo frame.
“This is my dad. He is the CEO of Fortune Entertainment.” Jia handed Namjoon the picture. Namjoon looked at it was shocked. He had no idea about Jia’s background. “When I was young, I wanted to be an idol, but I decided to become a therapist after my mom passed away in an accident. My dad still wishes I had taken over his business, but I grew up in that environment and after my mom passed away, I was severely affected and realized that I needed to go down a different path.” Jia paused and went back to her seat.
“...The reason I am saying all of this is that I understand what it is like to be an idol. I understand the demands of this industry. But I think you are in a position to change that mindset, just like you and Maya are doing with racism. You could be the idol that promotes mental well-being.” Jia looked at Namjoon, hoping he would say something.
But his response was not what Jia expected. “I didn’t know you were the heir to Fortune Entertainment.” Namjoon tried to change the topic.
“No, I have already given up rights to the business...but you know that’s not the point”
“What I am saying is...I feel like your love for music and your love for your members has stopped you from loving yourself...despite that being your campaign slogan.Your map of the soul currently consists of 90% RM, and that little 10% Namjoon wants a second chance.”
This was when Namjoon finally burst into tears. Jia’s words stung deep inside Namjoon. And to be honest, it felt terrible. It’s not like he hadn’t tried to keep his Namjoon side alive. But when BTS started gaining popularity, it had become harder and harder for him to be Namjoon. Even that night when Maya went missing, his RM side had won. He had almost lost Maya because of that. He almost lost himself.
“What should I do? Tell me...how do I keep this side of me alive without giving up RM?” Namjoon pleaded.
“Get to know yourself and go spend time with yourself and family and people outside of the company. You can also always come to see me. I promise I am not always this headstrong.” Jia laughed as she offered Namjoon a kleenex.
“I feel like I have to share this with you because I don’t have the courage to talk to Maya about this…” Namjoon replied.
“Sure, what is it?” Jia asked.
“After finding out that Maya was missing, I went on with the Grammys even though I should have gone and looked for her.” Namjoon felt almost relieved to say those words out loud.
“Do you think Maya doesn’t know that?” Jia asked.
“Hmmm?” Namjoon was confused.
“Have you wondered why Maya didn’t tell you about the threats?” Jia asked in return.
“Wait, did she tell you?” Namjoon was suddenly curious.
“I can’t tell you what she told me. But as far as I got to know her today and what I have read about her, I can say, she knows you Namjoon. She knows your map of the soul and she knows you will always pick BTS over her.”
“That’s not fair. She should be mad at me. This is absolutely terrible” Namjoon clenched his fist in utter disappointment.
“She can’t be mad at you when she doesn’t even choose herself,” Jia replied.
Namjoon was awestruck by Jia’s sentence. It had never occurred to him that Maya was in the same conundrum that he himself was in. Both were putting everything else above themselves.
Jia suddenly brought Namjoon out of his thoughts as she handed him Maya’s book that she had set on her desk. “But I think you can both change that. Change your fate. You know?”
“Yeah...I know.” Namjoon took the book and opened the page with the acknowledgments where Maya had dedicated a section to Namjoon.
2 Years Later - 2 Months after Ree-Mi’s book “Fateful Visions” was published
Namjoon and Maya continued their therapy sessions for over a year. During that time they learned to heal themselves and they learned to heal each other. Some things were harder to heal than others. Soon, Namjoon was able to start performing again. BTS revamped their whole identity and began promoting themselves a music group, rather than a boy group. With this new identity, Namjoon and Maya also launched their own duo with the title “Wan Blue Sounds.” Under this name, they released their first song that Namjoon began working on before the incident and Maya ended up writing the lyrics for the song.
Ree-Mi’s book “Fateful Visions” was released posthumously (after her death). The book created a great roar in the world, but it did not fulfill Ree-Mi’s last wish because Namjoon never read it. Namjoon did, however, read “Wan Blue Night,” multiple times. It became one of his favorites of all time, not just because Maya wrote it, but because he was in love with the story itself.
Namjoon began reorganizing his life and started to create boundaries between his role as RM and his role as Namjoon. BTS started taking longer breaks to spend time with their families and friends and to give themselves space. BigHit also filed complaints against saesangs or any fan that crossed boundaries. Plus, they did strict background checks from any security professional that they hired, making sure they were trustworthy. Maya also started her own self-development journey. She began writing again, but this time for herself. She also started taking self-defense classes, wanting to build her own self-confidence.
In February of 2022, Maya and Namjoon finally attended the Grammys again. This time not only was BTS nominated, but also the song that was released by Wan Blue Sounds. The media and world watched as Maya accompanied Namjoon to their seat, and later when BTS won, she also went up to the stage with Namjoon and the boys. Namjoon felt like he had somehow completed an incomplete task after all this time. He was finally able to let go of that incomplete wish.
After the Grammys, BTS decided to go to an unexpected place. They wanted to go back to Maya’s parent’s lake house where they first went when Namjoon and Ji-hyu’s pictures had surfaced. It had been years since they went there, but when they arrived, they felt right at home. This time Maya’s parents also came to visit Maya and also meet the boys. One afternoon, Namjoon was sitting in the backyard reading something, when Maya’s dad suddenly approached him.
“Hey!” Mr.Shroff said as he sat down in the chair next to Namjoon.
“Oh, hi…” Namjoon said. Ever since the kidnapping incident, Namjoon and Mr.Shroff had met multiple times. Maya’s parents came to visit him when he was in the hospital and after Maya and Namjoon began their recovery process.
“What book is that?” Mr.Shroff asked.
“Oh...it’s ummm...it’s actually Maya’s manuscript for her next book. She wanted me to give her feedback.” Namjoon replied. While Namjoon and Mr.Shroff had met multiple times, things were always a bit awkward.
“Oh really? She didn’t tell me she finished the draft of the book.” Mr.Shroff responded as he took a sip of his tea.
“Yeah, I think she just finished it on our way to the award show.”
“Well, it’s not like she would tell us anything anyway.” Mr.Shroff huffed.
“I apologize for my candidness, but it’s not like you have that relationship with her.” Namjoon retorted.
“Fair enough...so, I guess I’ll get to the point then. Maya’s mom wanted to know when are you going to marry Maya? You are both almost 30…”
“Oh...wow...umm, Maya and I haven’t talked about it. Honestly, I think we are both happy with the way things are right now. ”
“But you can’t just live like this forever.” Mr.Shroff gave Namjoon a ridiculous look.
“Why not?” A sudden voice replied behind Namjoon and Mr.Shroff’s chair. It was Maya. She came up and sat down next to Namjoon.
Mr. Shroff glanced at Maya.
“I am sorry, dad, but why can’t Namjoon and I live like this forever if we wanted to?” This wasn’t the first time Maya’s parents had mentioned the topic of marriage to Maya. They had been bugging her ever since she got out of the hospital. But this time Maya was more irritated because she realized they only wanted to spend more time with her and Namjoon so that they could bug Namjoon about it as well.
“Listen, I know you young folks want to be edgy and don’t believe in the institution of marriage, but trust me, when you get older and the legal ramifications start making sense to you, then you’ll understand,” Mr.Shroff said.
“I don’t think we are against the institution of marriage, we just haven’t considered it and don’t want to be forced into it,” Maya replied. “Namjoon and I want to do things our own way and I hope you and mom can respect that. We are both really happy together and very much in love, and if things go right and we both think we are right for each other, when the time comes, we’ll get married. Right, Joon?” Maya looked over at Namjoon, seeking his approval.
Namjoon nodded. “Absolutely. Sir, I just want to clarify that I do really care about your daughter and I will take care of her whether or not we are married. I hope that you can give more credit to her and her decisions.”
“It’s not that I don’t respect your decisions, Maya. I think you need to understand that the rules of the society are in place for a reason...you are just being stubborn and you’ll regret it” Mr. Shroff responded.
“And I think that the reason doesn’t apply anymore in this modern world and in our situation. Namjoon and I have our personal goals we want to accomplish and then we’ll think about marriage. But thank you for your concern, dad.”
Maya grabbed Namjoon’s hand and took him inside. Maya felt like she needed to explain to Namjoon why she said what she said to her dad. She took him to her room and Namjoon didn’t question her.
“Hey, let me explain...that whole situation— ” Maya said as soon as they got to her room. But before she could finish explaining, Namjoon wrapped his arms around her.
“I am so proud of you, Maya,” Namjoon said hugging Maya tightly.
“Why?” Maya mumbled against Namjoon’s chest.
“You stood up to your dad. That requires courage. I am so happy right now.” Namjoon let go of Maya and cupped her face in his hands, gently kissed her forehead.
“Yeah, I guess did, didn’t I. I just don’t want you to think I am desperate to get married.” Maya put her hands over Namjoon’s hands, looking up at him.
“Don’t worry, I don’t think that...but I do have a plan for us…”
“A plan?” Maya questioned.
Namjoon let go of Maya and reached in his back pocket, pulling out his phone. He then began searching on his phone for something. When he found what he was looking for, Namjoon handed the phone to Maya.
“Will you go to Bali with me?” Namjoon asked with the most sincere tone.
“Bali?” Maya laughed out of surprise as she saw the tickets to Bali on his phone.
“I wanted to take you on this trip before the whole Ree-Mi incident happened, but I couldn’t…” Namjoon explained.
“But what about your album...don’t you have to prepare for that?” Maya was surprised by Namjoon sudden initiative. It’s not that he didn’t do romantic gestures for Maya, it’s just she was surprised by the timing.
“Don’t worry, I will do that when I come back. I just want us to get away from everyone for a while. Just you and me...what do you say? Please! Will you give me the honor of spending a week with you in a resort in Bali?” Namjoon jokingly kneeled down on one knee, holding his phone towards Maya.
Maya laughed. “Let’s go to Bali, Joon.” Namjoon got back up wrapping his arms around Maya again, kissing her lips sweetly. If Namjoon had read Ree-Mi’s story, he would realize that Ree-Mi could never quite capture in her story just how deeply Maya loved him.
The next day, Maya and Namjoon went on their private trip to Bali, away from the requirements of the world, enjoying their time together, enveloped in each other’s arms and soaked in each other’s presence. They were learning to take charge of what they wanted and learning to speak for themselves.
Years later, during one interview at an award show, Namjoon and Maya were asked if they thought they were soulmates like they were described in Ree-Mi’s novel.
To that, Namjoon had answered, it didn’t matter if they were soulmates or not as long as they enjoyed being in each other’s life. Maya added that fate and destiny are just words to describe the consequences of our choices.
Summary: Life has a weird way of bringing us to dead ends. Sometimes there are no signs or warnings telling us not to go in a specific direction. Other times, there are blaring lights and words written in neon fonts telling us to change our path. Will Namjoon and Maya end up regretting the path they took?
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Previous Part: Chapter 31
Next Part: Chapter 33
Life has a weird way of bringing us to dead ends. Sometimes there are no signs or warnings telling us not to go in a specific direction. Other times, there are blaring lights and words written in neon fonts telling us to change our path. The latter was the case for Namjoon and Maya. Both knew the ending to their story would be bad. They knew there was no way to change their fate, yet they ignored the signs, the visions, and continued taking the wrong steps at each point.
And now, Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi were standing in front of an irreversible dead end.
When Namjoon finally found the room with Maya, he froze at the entrance. He was not seeing Maya. He was seeing a corpse. A badly injured corpse. And when he looked at his feet a stream of blood had surrounded him. In the background, the tape of Maya’s words kept replaying. “JOON….JOON….DON’T COME HERE! DON’T COME HERE, I BEG YOU!!!” “PLEASE….LISTEN TO ME….PLEASE DON’T COME HERE!!”
Yes, those were the words Maya had said earlier when the mysterious person with automated voice on the phone said they would give the phone to a human. Namjoon realized now that when he was talking to Maya on the phone, he was not actually talking to her. Yes, it was her voice, but it wasn’t her. It was a tape. They had recorded her voice on a computer and put her voice on loop in the background. In fact, her lifeless body was just set in a chair like a mannequin, blood coming out of the back of her head.
It hit Namjoon finally, when he saw 2 men standing by Maya’s chair one with a gun in his hand and the other was holding Maya’s limp hand, as if he was preventing her from running away. It was obvious Maya wasn’t breathing. Her eyes were closed and the blood that was dripping down the back of her neck was increasing.
Maya was dead. Maya was no longer alive.
Namjoon tried to say these words in his head in every possible way, but he just couldn’t comprehend what he was seeing. It was as if his body, his brain, and his soul had dissociated into different entities. He was no longer the Kim Namjoon that he was just seconds ago. That Kim Namjoon was gone alongside Maya.
He heard himself suddenly shouting. He was shouting so loudly but he wasn’t fully aware of what he was saying. He tried to run towards the corpse but was held back by people. Who were these people? Where did they come from?
Suddenly he noticed there were police in the room. The two men were immediately surrounded by the police and Namjoon was being held back by some of them. They were preventing him from running towards Maya.
Jimin and Yoongi were standing in the back, covering their mouths. It must have smelled bad in the room because there were no windows and Maya had been stuck here for days.
Namjoon collapsed onto his knees, giving up trying to reach towards Maya. Screaming her name. Shouting with every ounce in the body. But then he gave up. He stared at the ground and saw his reflection in the small pool of blood that was surrounding him. His knees and hands were now covered in the blood. The reflection of his face that he often hated so much, became somehow even more unbearable to look at in that moment.
Soon, he heard sirens from the ambulance and saw even more people come into the room. They lifted Maya’s body and put her on a stretcher, carrying her out swiftly. The police had also handcuffed the two men and taken them away.
The room was empty and Namjoon was just sitting there next to the pool of blood. It was silent, except that tape continued to play in the background. His tears were falling on to the floor mixing with the blood. Things started to feel fuzzy. When Namjoon tried to dip his finger in the small pool of blood, he couldn’t. He felt strange all of the sudden.
Suddenly the tape that was playing in the background with Maya’s voice, changed.
“JOON….JOON….CAN YOU HEAR ME? PLEASE...JUST GIVE ME A SIGN….CAN YOU HEAR MY VOICE? IT’S ME...IT’S MAYA…JOON PLEASE WAKE UP!! WAKE UP JOON!!!”
Everything abruptly became black. Namjoon noticed his eyes were closed, but when he tried to open them he couldn’t. It was like he was only half-alive and he did not have control over his body. Where was he? Where was this sound coming from? Was this really Maya? Or was this an illusion?
He couldn’t tell if what he had just seen was real or imaginary. Was this a dream? Was he just dreaming until now? He couldn’t tell if this voice he was currently hearing was real or imaginary either. Was Maya really next to him? He tried to open his eyes but he couldn’t. His entire body was limp. All he knew was he was laying on something. He couldn’t fully feel anything though. His ability to think was drifting away. Last thing he felt was a familiar touch holding his hand and then his consciousness slipped away.
Again.
4 Days before
“JOON….JOON….DON’T COME HERE! DON’T COME HERE, I BEG YOU!!!” Maya’s voice reverberated through the dark empty lobby of the apartment building where Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jimin were standing.
“PLEASE….LISTEN TO ME….PLEASE DON’T COME HERE!!” Maya continued.
Namjoon was stunned. He could barely speak. “Ma-Maya...Ma-Maya…” was all he could mutter.
“Just know I love you...and don’t come— “ Maya’s desperate shouts turned to whispers and suddenly her voice was cut off mid-sentence.
“Now that you’ve heard from our human representative, we hope you are convinced that you should go back” the person with the Siri voice was back.
“Please, please don’t hurt her. I don’t understand...why are you doing this?” Namjoon was somewhere between enraged and completely defeated.
“If I told you my intention then would you believe me?” The voice replied.
Namjoon was about to respond but before he could, the person hung up. Namjoon kept saying “Hello...hello?” But there was no response. Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi all looked at each other, it was as if they were almost silently debating whether this was a good idea to go up there.
Then, Yoongi, Jimin, and Namjoon continued to walk into different apartment units, trying to see if anyone was there. And out of nowhere they stumbled upon a random chair outside of a front door on one of the apartments.
“Look over there” Yoongi whispered.
“Why is there a chair outside the door?” Jimin replied.
Before Yoongi could even respond, Namjoon walked past both Jimin and Yoongi towards the apartment. Namjoon recognized the chair from some place. He assumed it was from the visions.
“Namjoon, wait!” Yoongi whispered, but Namjoon ignored and made his way to the door.
He tried to open the door knob, but it didn’t budge. Namjoon looked over at Jimin and Yoongi with shocked expressions. This was the first door in this building that was locked.
Jimin and Yoongi quietly ran up to catch up with Namjoon.
“Is it locked?” Jimin asked.
Namjoon tried to twist the knob again. The door still didn’t open.
“Namjoon we should tell the police.” Yoongi suddenly warned. “We shouldn’t even be here after that phone call.”
Namjoon didn’t reply. He instead turned around and looked at the door across from the one they were standing at. That door was also closed, but for some reason Namjoon had the urge to go open it.
“Where are you going?” Jimin asked.
Namjoon silently went up to the other door but instead of opening the door, he leaned in as if he was trying to hear what was happening on the other side.
He leaned in closely, and his instinct was right. Namjoon heard some whispers on the other side of the door.
“There is someone inside.” Namjoon whispered extremely quietly to Jimin and Yoongi.
Namjoon reached towards the door knob, but before he could open it, someone opened the door from inside.
“Good evening, Oppa.” An unfamiliar woman stood at the door.
The woman was petite, had long flowing hair that went past her shoulders, and she was wearing a red dress.
“Wha-” Namjoon wasn’t able to finish his sentence before the woman opened the door completely revealing the dark room that was illuminated by a single hanging light. What left Namjoon speechless was the person that was tied to the chair directly under the light. His breath was caught in his throat as he saw the figure more clearly.
“Maya.” The word finally escaped his lips and a tear escaped his eyes.
The woman with the red dress moved out of the way and allowed Namjoon inside. Jimin and Yoongi both opted to stay by the entrance.
“MAYA...MAYA…” Namjoon tried to run up to Maya, but two men appeared from the sides and blocked his way. One man was holding a gun, while the other was holding a knife.
Maya was tied to the chair. Her eyes were only half open and there was tape over her mouth. She looked so weak that she wasn’t able to hold up her own head, she was slouching down, her hair, those long tight curls, were a complete mess. Her face had bruises near her mouth, eyes and head. Her feet were also tied to the chair, as well as her hands. There was blood on her shirt and jeans. Oh God, what had they done to her! Namjoon thought. This was all a million times worse than what he had remembered from the visions. Even worse than what he had imagined. Maya was alive, but she looked as if she wasn’t.
“Oh oppa, I didn’t say you can go near her!” the woman slowly walked up next to Namjoon. Her arms crossed across her chest and a bright smile on her face.
Namjoon clenched his jaw. He wanted to kill that woman and the two men. He was so tempted to steal that gun from the other man’s hand and shoot them. The anger radiated from his face as he looked over at the woman. The woman continued to smile gently.
“Who are you?” Namjoon asked in a grave voice.
The woman’s expressions suddenly changed at Namjoon’s question. The smile turned into a frown. She looked at him with almost offended expressions. In fact, she started tearing up. She let out a heartbreaking ‘huff’ as if she had just found out that everything she believed in her life was all fake. As if she had just found out someone close to her was dead. Perhaps something was inside of this woman that died in that moment.
“You...you don’t remember me?” the woman asked.
Namjoon shook his head, still enraged. “No. Who are you?”
The woman let out a bitter smile. A small hope still burning inside of the woman, that maybe, just maybe Namjoon would remember her. “Well, then I guess you must also not remember the day that you received the glass crab ornament I gave you last year.”
Namjoon looked at her with confused expressions. He shook his head. He had no idea about who this woman was.
“Geez oppa, you could’ve at least lied and said you remembered. You didn’t have to break my heart like that.” The woman replied. Her heart was truly broken. She was devastated more than ever before.
“What are you talking about?” Namjoon answered.
“Jun 14, 2013. You had your first mini fan meeting. That’s when I first met you.” The woman responded. She looked up at Namjoon and nodded “--Ever since then, I have only missed 2 concerts and 1 fan meeting. I have been there for everything with you. I was there when BTS was on the verge of disbandment during their first year, I was there when you won your first award show, I was there when you started dating that witch Ji-Hyu, and then when you announced your break up in that press conference. The first BBMAs, the AMAs, GRAMMYs. I was there through it all. Oh and I almost forgot, I was also there when you met this one.” the woman pointed at Maya.
“...University of Central Arkansas.That’s where you both met.” The woman let out a laugh. “Really, oppa, I never understood this whole thing. She didn’t even get waitlisted for Harvard! Did you know that, oppa? How pathetic! I myself am a Yale graduate.” The woman walked up to Maya, the woman’s heels were clunking against the floor. She pulled Maya’s hair. And Namjoon yelped “DON’T! DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH HER!”
The woman gently let go of Maya’s hair. “Alright, alright I won’t. But you have to admit she looks terrible right now. Doesn’t she? Is this what you want to wake up next to everyday? I thought you’d have better taste in women.” The woman tucked her hair behind her ear.
“What do you want from her and me?” Namjoon asked, his voice was solemn.
“Hmmm, if I asked for what I wanted, would you give it to me? Because I feel like you can’t.” The woman looked up at Namjoon as she walked towards him.
“No, I can get you anything. Do you want money? I can give you money. Just tell me the amount. Are you trying to become an idol? I can make that happen. Just- just tell me what you want and please let go of her.” Namjoon sank down to his knees. Begging for Maya’s life.
“Don’t be ridiculous, oppa. I hate the idol life and I own the building you are standing in right now, so let’s just say I could buy anything I wanted. But as they say, there are some things money can’t buy.” The woman walked away from Namjoon, leaving him still on his knees.
“Then what? What do you want from us?” Namjoon asked desperately.
“I want you, silly.” The woman responded.
Namjoon looked up at the woman.
“Ha! I told you, you couldn’t give me what I want.” The woman said it with a bitter tone. “But you know what, it’s okay. I don’t expect to end up with you...at least not in this life.” The woman continued.
Namjoon gently stood up from the ground and looked over at Maya again. Maya was more awake now, her sleeping pills were wearing off. She shook her head towards Namjoon when they made eye contact. Her eyes were filled with tears.
“If you wanted me, then why are you hurting her?” Namjoon asked.
The woman just laughed. “You must be exhausted because I have never seen you so...slow with things.”
“We can figure something out. Just please let go of Maya. Please!” Namjoon begged one more time.
The woman didn’t respond. At this point it hurt the woman that Namjoon was trying to negotiate his own self for the sake of Maya. It was painful and yet intriguing.
“Alright, how much is she paying to keep Maya here.” Namjoon asked the guards that were surrounding Maya. “I can pay you double if you let go of her.” Both looked at each other and laughed.
Suddenly there were countless footsteps coming from the hallway. And soon the entrance was filled with the people in uniforms.
“Oppa...no!” The woman sighed. “Why did you bring them? You know now we have to kill your beloved Maya.”
“Hands up!” One of the policeman shouted. “If you touch her, we’ll make sure you’ll die as well.”
However, the two men next to Maya didn’t move. They held the gun against Maya’s head.
“Let go of her.” The policeman shouted, but guards didn’t listen.
“Maya...no, please let go of her!” Namjoon shouted instead of moving as demanded by the police officer.”
“Namjoon-ssi please move out of the way.” one of the other policeman yelled.
“Please let go of her!” Namjoon went and stood up in front of the 2 guards that were near Maya. Crying so hard that he could barely speak.
Suddenly the woman shouted “kill her” and the sound of gunshot filled the room. The next few moments seemed to be in slow motion. At first it was unclear who the bullet had hit or where it even came from. It wasn’t until a thud sound filled the room and people’s attention finally landed on the injured person. A bullet had hit Namjoon.
The woman cried out “Nooooo!”
Jimin and Yoongi also yelled from the hallway in sync “NAMJOON!”
Maya also let out a loud sound, frustrated that she couldn’t get out of the chair or even speak. She leaned forward, causing the chair to fall over with her.
And suddenly from slow motion to a frenzy, the police fired another shot, hitting the man who had a gun on his leg. Forcing him to fall half to the ground and forcing the other man with the knife to walk away from Maya. After that, a few policemen went up to Namjoon to help him, some arrested the woman and the two men working with her, and the rest helped rescue Maya from the chair. They untied Maya from the chair and she crawled over to Namjoon, who at this point had his eyes closed.
“JOON! JOON!!” Maya’s voice came out hoarse as these were first words she had spoken in days. She saw the bullet had hit Namjoon’s neck, blood was gushing out of the wound. She wanted to hold his head in her lap, to hold him in her arms, but the ambulance had arrived by this time and the police stopped her from being near him, as this was now a crime scene.
Everything after the arrival of the ambulance was even more of a blur. At some point Maya was taken to the hospital and she had fainted while she was in the ambulance. Jimin and Yoongi had notified everyone what had happened and there was a sense of panic throughout BigHit. The boys couldn’t go to the hospital together to see Namjoon or Maya because that would have caused more suspicion for the outside world and the company wanted to make sure no one knew about what was going on.
Was Maya okay? Was Namjoon even— alive?
1 day after Maya and Namjoon were taken to the hospital
Maya opened her eyes, finding herself surrounded by bright fluorescent lights and white walls. She blinked for a few moments to take in the scene. It took her awhile to realize she was in the hospital, it took her even longer to remember what had brought her there. Our brain tries its best to suppress trauma and Maya’s brain was trying to do the same. The things that she had been through in the past several days were things most cannot even imagine, don’t have courage to even write about.
A day after the chaos, the police submitted the initial report to BigHit, who had filed the missing complaint for Maya.
To summarize, so far the police had discovered that Maya was kidnapped by the guard that was supposed to protect her. It turned out the guard was paid by the woman in red, that had met Namjoon at that abandoned apartment. The guard, and 2 other men helped bring Maya to that abandoned building where the woman and the 3 men kept her there for days until Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi discovered the building. This building was owned by the CEO of one of Korea’s biggest companies and the woman behind the kidnapping was his daughter. After bringing Maya there, the woman would order her minions to torture Maya in several ways (some too graphic to be mentioned in the report) and kept her tied to the chair. After the first few days the guard that had kidnapped Maya was paid to run away, because the police had found out that he was involved in the kidnapping. The man was still missing.
This summary was all the police provided to BigHit, but this summary was missing one key component: the motive. Perhaps the motive would be something that would be discovered later. For now, BigHit and everyone involved was trying to see if the victims would even survive this traumatic experience.
Meanwhile, slowly Maya gained some idea of where she was and how she had gotten there and for those few moments she laid still in her hospital bed. And as if with a sudden jolt the memory of the bullet hitting Namjoon went through her mind, causing her to immediately sit up in her bed. Maya was severely injured near her lips, rib cage, head, and legs. She had fractured rib cage and leg, preventing her from sitting up entirely. Despite the difficulty she managed to sit up with extreme fear and pain. It hit her finally that the last time she was conscious Namjoon was shot. He was laying on the floor of that infamous room and since then she had no idea what had happened to him. A state of absolute fear took over her. Was her Joon alive? Was that all real? No, he had to be alive. He had to be okay. He was probably waiting for her. She needed to go find him.
Maya looked around in panic, realizing that she was hooked up to an IV. She looked to see if someone was around that could help her get up, as she wasn’t able to properly get up. But there was no one there. She eventually found a button by her bed that would call in a nurse, so she pressed it, but no one came in. Maya became frustrated and pulled out her IV and tried to get up by herself. This was so painful that she stumbled and fell to the ground.
Soon a nurse came running inside to find Maya on the ground trying to get up.
“Ma’am, what are you doing?”
“Where is Namjoon?” Maya responded. She could care less about herself right now knowing that Namjoon might be waiting for her.
“Ma’am, please sit on the bed. Your body is not healed yet.”
“I don’t care. I need to go find him. Where is he? Where is Namjoon?” Maya retorted.
“Please sit down and I will explain.” the nurse replied.
Maya sighed and gently got up with the help of the nurse and sat back in her bed.
“Where is he?” Maya asked once again.
The nurse was silent. Her silence was deafening.
“Please tell me! Where is he?” Maya asked again. Tears were already streaming out of Maya’s eyes.
The nurse was still quiet.
“Nurse, please you are scaring me! Please tell me where my Joon is! Please!” Maya cried.
“He...he is in the ICU. He was shot right at the bridge of his spinal cord and skull. They got the bullet out...but...but he is still in coma. The doctors were saying it’s because the bullet hit right below his reticular formation, and that’s the part of our brain that’s in charge of consciousness. That’s why he went into coma immediately after the bullet hit him and the rest of his body went into paralysis.”
Maya looked down at her lap. There was a cast around her waist and around her left leg.
“Is he gonna be okay?” Maya asked.
“ — umm...we’re not sure to be honest.”
“I have to go see him.”
“You can’t. He is in the ICU...”
“I am gonna go see him.” Maya ignored the nurse’s explanation.
Maya tried to get up again, but failed.
“Listen. He is in the ICU. We’ll go take you to see him when they bring him out. For now, you need to heal. You have stitches all over your waist and they could get infected if you don’t listen to me.”
“I don’t care. He is here because of me. I have to go see him. Do you not understand that?” Maya forced herself up again, using the help of the bed’s side railing. It hurt like hell, but she was determined.
She walked a few steps to the door, grabbing on to her stomach. The nurse felt defeated.
“Hold on. Let me at least get you a wheelchair.” the nurse suggested.
With the help of the nurse, Maya made it outside the ICU. The doctors were still inside, so Maya wasn’t able to go in. She took a peak at him through the small window on the ICU door. Her face was drenched in tears at this point. Maya was distraught to say the least. Eventually the nurse brought her back to her room and begged her to try and get some rest.
4 days later
The next few days, the cycle repeated. Maya was still in the hospital, and she would wake up and find herself feeling completely disoriented. It would take her a good while before the memories of what had happened would come gushing back through her mind and she would panic and try to go find Namjoon.
The day before, Seokjin, Taehyung, Jungkook, and Yoongi came to see her. For the first few moments things were quite awkward and then she finally talked.
“How are you guys?” Maya asked. Her voice was filled with guilt. She felt guilty that due to her, Namjoon was in this position and the boys also had to suffer.
“We should be asking you that question.” Taehyung responded.
“I am sorry.” Maya replied. Her voice was quivering.
“Maya, I am sorry. I shouldn’t even have let Namjoon talked us into going there. And I only called the police because I didn’t want things to get worse...except I feel like they did anyways” Yoongi responded.
“Don’t be sorry. This whole thing happened because of me. I knew things would end up badly, but I didn’t know he would be the one to get hurt. This wasn’t supposed to happen like this.” Maya frustratingly hit the side of her bed.
“Listen, what happened, happened. Namjoon is strong. He is going to find his way back to you. I know he will.” Seokjin assured. The members were curious why Maya had not told anyone about those threats or why she felt like this was her fault, and they also wanted to ask what she had been through during her time. But they knew these were all questions that were meant to be asked at another time.
The members eventually left after the brief conversation. And Maya was back to feeling the immense dread.
However, after yesterday, Maya was determined to go inside the room where Namjoon was staying and go see him. She had decided she would sneak outside the room during the night. And she did.
Maya stumbled outside with her crutches that she had asked one of the nurses to give her earlier in the day so she could go to the bathroom. And she pretended to go to the bathroom during the night as well. After coming out of the bathroom she asked one of the nurses which room Namjoon was being kept in. She emphasized that she was only curious and then went back to her room.
Later in the night, she snuck outside and went to the room. By this point Namjoon was out of ICU and they were keeping him in one of the observation rooms, waiting to see if he would come out of coma. If he didn’t after a few days, this would put him in critical condition.
Maya gently opened the door to the room where Namjoon was at, trying to balance her weight on one leg that was still somewhat intact. She managed to get inside after several attempts and then stood there staring at Namjoon. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing, her heart was in more pain than her body.
Slowly she found the courage to walk up to him using her crutches and took a seat by his bed. His eyes were closed and his face was pale. His lips were blue and dry and truth be told, it almost looked like there was no life left in him. Thankfully the monitor showed that his heart was indeed beating, the only thing that was keeping him from being considered dead.
Maya examined him trying to keep her sobs from being too loud, as if somehow her sobs would wake Namjoon up. It was silly to think that, of course. She slowly lifted her hand and gently sweeped her hand over his forehead.
“Joon...Joon can you hear me? Please...just give me a sign...can you hear my voice? It’s me...It’s Maya...Joon please wake up! Wake up Joon!” Maya gently spoke, her voice sounded desperate even though she was almost whispering. She held onto his hand as she spoke, trying to intertwine her fingers between his lifeless ones.
When she spoke she almost felt as if he had heard her voice. She wasn’t sure if what she saw was real, but she thought she saw his eyes twitch just a little bit. So she decided to continue speaking.
“I am sorry, love. I know you are never going to forgive me for this. I should have told you about the threats...I was still mad at you when I started getting the threats again. I had told the police once couple months ago...I mean I had told them about the threats...and guess what they told me! They told me there was no need to worry because I have guards with me at all times. It’s stupid isn’t it?” Maya’s sobs became almost like a bitter laugh. She continued talking like she would usually talk to her Joon.
“When I was in that room...they...they told me you guys won the GRAMMYs. Congratulations, dude! I bet you were so happy. I can’t believe it. All your dreams came true, Joon. I can’t believe I am talking to a GRAMMY winner right now.” Maya tried to speak with some light in her voice, although it was hard to do because her mind suddenly went back to the things she experienced in that room.
Maya tried to distract herself from those thoughts. “Why did you come there? I told you not to. I told you not to come up there. And don’t tell me it’s because you wanted to save me. That’s just silly! You knew from our visions something bad would happen if you came, so why didn’t you listen to me?” Maya was frustrated. It was unfair because Namjoon was not in the state to defend himself.
However, Maya was unaware that Namjoon was able to hear her voice. Yes, the scary scene he had been seeing was in fact a dream he had while in the state of coma. And Maya’s voice had brought him out of that dream, but unfortunately, he wasn’t able to fully wake up from the coma. So now, Namjoon was neither fully awake, nor was he completely unconscious. His mind and body were in completely different pace. He wanted to talk and open his eyes, but his body wasn’t listening to his mind. Therefore, he defeatedly kept listening. He kept listening to Maya’s voice.
“...I feel like you are going to start a fight with me as soon as you wake up. I just know it. I am scared you won’t even talk to me...But I guess I deserve it. You should be mad at me and yell at me. You should. In fact, you should do it now, Joon. Please wake up and yell at me! I beg you! I won’t say anything just yell at me! Please...” Maya plead and her sobs returned.
Maya spent a few more minutes before feeling intense pain in her head, causing her to feel dizzy. She got up from the bed and tried to go back to her room to call the nurse. Strangely enough as soon as Maya let go of Namjoon’s hand, the heart rate monitor started beeping, triggering an alarm in his room. Maya panicked. “Joon! Joon, what’s going on?”
A group of doctors and nurses rushed inside the room, gently moving Maya aside so they can take a look at what’s going on. Meanwhile, Maya’s headache was getting worse so she shifted herself but could barely keep her balance. One of the nurses saw Maya and gestured her to wait so that the nurse could go get a wheelchair for her.
The nurse quickly brought the wheelchair and asked Maya to sit in the chair but Maya hesitated.
“Don’t worry about him. We’ll take care of him, okay. Please let’s get you to your room so you can rest. Your head is bleeding.” The nurse whispered to her.
Maya sighed and got in the chair and the nurse brought Maya to her room. At some point after that she was given some type of medicine, they fixed the bandage on her head, and the dizziness took the best of her causing her to become unconscious.
The next morning
Maya woke up once again. This time her panic was immediate. She didn’t wait for anyone and immediately got into the wheelchair that the nurse had left the night before and started going towards Namjoon’s room. When she arrived, however, she noticed there were others inside, including all the members. The room was packed so she couldn’t see Namjoon. She panicked even more. Why were there so many people inside? What had happened to him? Was he...No, Maya didn’t let herself finish her thought and immediately opened the door, causing everyone to look over at her.
She had exasperated expressions on her face and so when everyone turned towards her they were also shocked.
“Oh, look who is here!” Jungkook replied.
For a second there was silence. This silence felt like the longest second of Maya’s life.
But then his face turned from shocked to a small smile. “Hyung look, Maya is here!” Jungkook blurted out again.
Everyone made a small gap allowing Maya to finally see Namjoon laying on the bed, and noticed his eyes were open. And an involuntary sigh of relief escaped Maya’s mouth. Namjoon was alive. He had his eyes open. He was okay. He was awake.
“Maya! Namjoon hyung is awake!” Jimin said as he came up behind Maya to help move her chair closer to Namjoon’s bed.
Jimin brought Maya’s chair near Namjoon’s bed, almost exactly where she was sitting the night before. The lifeless Namjoon she had seen last night was very much alive. Maya was afraid to look at Namjoon in the eyes, as if she was afraid he would be upset with her. But Namjoon moved his hand opening up his palm, gesturing Maya to put her hand in his. Maya hesitatingly raised her hand and slowly put her hand in his, finally meeting his eyes.
Unlike Maya’s expectation, Namjoon’s gaze was gentle. His mouth curved upward slowly revealing his dimples and in that moment Maya swore to herself that she would never leave this man’s side again. Not even in the after life.
“Hi…” Namjoon mumbled. His body was weak from the blood loss and in general having been in coma. He was awake but still wasn’t able to move much.
“Hi…” Maya replied.
“Okay..welp that’s our cue to leave. Namjoonie, we’ll see you later. We snuck out of the dorms to see you so we need to get back before people see us! See you later, Maya!” Hoseok quickly said and the boys swiftly left the room, along with their bodyguards, leaving Namjoon with Maya alone.
“What did they think we were about to do? It’s not like either of us can even move properly...” Maya laughed. This was the first time she had laughed in over a week.
“They wanted to give us time.” Namjoon gently responded.
Maya nodded. Her joke was really just her attempt to pivot the awkwardness. Not even awkward, it was just different. Not many people understand how it feels to see the love of your life after you both had been through near death experiences. It was life-changing.
Things weren’t the same anymore. They never would be.
“Do you need water? Can I get you something?” Maya was miserably failing at carrying out the conversation.
“You just said you can’t move properly.” Namjoon retorted.
“Right…” Maya caught her own mistake.
“Maya…?” Namjoon asked. He swallowed sharply after saying her name like he was about to say something important.
“Hmm?” Maya continued looking at Namjoon. She was afraid about what Namjoon was about to say. She was afraid she would have to recall what happened or that he would ask her why she didn’t tell him about the threats. She honestly didn’t want that in that moment.
“Did you notice... we aren’t having visions anymore?” Namjoon held onto Maya’s hand as tightly as he could while he continued looking into her eyes.
Maya was stunned. She stared at their hands and then back at Namjoon repeatedly.
“Wha--what? Th-at’s weird…” Maya switched hand. She held Namjoon’s hand with her left hand this time instead of her right hand, trying to see if that made a difference. But it didn’t. There were still no visions.
“What does this mean?” Maya asked.
“I am not sure…” Namjoon replied
“Does this mean we aren’t prime examples of soulmates anymore…” Maya referenced her friend Han Bi’s statement from back when they had went to her about their weird visions.
“If that’s the case how did you manage to bring me back from practically the dead?” Namjoon said.
“Hm?” Maya asked with confused expressions.
“Maya, I heard your voice when you came to see me last time. I don’t remember anything else but I remember hearing your voice and I was trying to wake up and talk to you but I couldn’t and then you left and I was so scared…I was scared… I thought I …” Namjoon didn’t finish his sentence. The heart rate monitor showed that his heart rate increased just at the thought of remembering his dream.
“I am here now…” Maya assured, gently caressing his hand. “I’ll always be here.” she added and leaned in to gently kiss Namjoon’s lips.
They now had the privilege of something they never had before. They were now able to look at each other after their kiss. They could hold one another and stare at each other as long as they pleased, and they definitely took advantage of that ability especially after Namjoon and Maya were healed.
Thankfully, the only thing that died in this whole incident were their visions and the heart of the woman behind all of this.
And you may be wondering who was behind all of this? Who was the woman in red? Well, that’s a story for another time. For now, the moment belonged to Maya and Namjoon. It belonged to the endless hurdles they had to cross to be together. Neither of them knew what tomorrow would bring anymore. But they knew at least they had each other for now.
Things you may want to know before stealing an author’s work.
Everything published on the internet for your reading pleasure by us hard-working writers, is in fact, copyrighted.
No longer are authors require to put any sort of copyright notice on their works. We are protected under the law the second we hit that “post” button.
If you steal fanfiction, you’re committing a crime.
I’m not saying this to scare you, I’m saying this to help you realize the importance of original created work. Our AU’s especially are something protected as they are original universes created by us.
How do I know this? I just suffered my butt off studying Intellectual Property for my degree. I finished the class today and wanted to share this information with you.
Again, this post is for general knowledge for other writer’s and for those of you who may not realize that the internet is not public domain. I don’t think some of you who have stolen realize that it is a crime and you can easily be found. And for my writers out there: FYI.
Stealing a work and reposting it somewhere isn’t just unethical, it’s against the law. So just think twice before you do something stupid with someone else’s work, okay?
Fanfiction is included in this. Specifically fanfiction about idols because they’re not fictional characters created by someone else. They’re real people. So while ethics can be called into question all day long about writing on real people, the fanfiction about them is 100% covered.
Summary: Idol Namjoon meets a grad student, Maya, but he experiences strange visions each time their eyes meet and they touch one another. Fate plays a magnetic role, & keeps bringing them together. Are these visions a sign that they should stay away or stay together?
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Previous Part: Chapter 30
Next Part: Chapter 32
4:00 PM - Same Day
After the visit to the police station it had become obvious to Namjoon that he would receive minimal help from the police force in finding Maya. It was obvious that whoever was behind this was someone that the police did not want to mess with, therefore they would keep delaying the process of finding Maya. This meant Namjoon would have to figure this out alone.
As soon as Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi left the police station they went back to Namjoon’s studio to figure out a list of places in Korea where they might see American flags. They all sat down with their laptops and phones, ready to search every place they could think of. The first thought the boys had was to look up all the U.S. embassies.
“The only place I can think of that might have American flags is a place like the U.S. embassy. But why would someone kidnap and bring Maya to a U.S. embassy?” Jimin said as he stared at his phone, carefully looking at the address for the U.S. embassy in Korea.
“Also, how would they even keep her there without someone noticing?” Yoongi added.
Suddenly there was a knock on Namjoon’s studio door. “Come in” Namjoon yelled.
Jungkook, Jin, and Taehyung walked inside. They were with Manager Sejin till now, helping Maya’s parents get settled and also gather more information about Maya.
“So, looks like we can’t even trust our guards anymore, huh?” Taehyung said as he went up to Namjoon and put his arm around him.
Namjoon became confused. “What are you talking about?” Jimin and Yoongi also looked at each other in confusion.
“I am so sorry hyung. I can’t believe you are going through all this. I had thought by now we would have found Maya. But hearing about everything that’s going on is making my head spin.” Taehyung said.
“I am confused. What happened to the guard?” Yoongi asked.
“Wait you guys don’t know? We just came inside and the staff told us how the guard that was outside of Maya’s apartment is also missing. They think he is the one that helped whoever kidnapped her because he had joined the security team right around the time we decided Maya also needed security.” Jin said.
“How do we know he is not just missing because he is also in trouble?” Jimin asked.
“Because apparently Han Bi had said the guard was not downstairs when she went to get the pizza from the delivery guy. This was preplanned. The man is missing and when the police went to his house, it was completely empty.”
Jimin was shocked.“This is insane. Someone has really been after Maya and we were unaware of this the entire time. How is this even possible?”
“Why do you think she didn’t tell us? —Why do you think she didn’t tell us about the threats, I mean?” Jungkook asked. It was an innocent question, but an important one that had been lingering in Namjoon’s head for the entire time. Why was Maya hiding this? Why would she not at least tell Namjoon this? They could’ve figured out a way together if she had just told him. It was as if she wanted this situation to arise.
“I think Maya was probably trying to protect Namjoon and us. If she would’ve told us, maybe we might have ended up making things more dangerous for ourselves and her.” Yoongi said, even though somewhere inside even he knew this made no sense. Yoongi only said this to prevent Namjoon from worrying too much.
“So, you are saying that the guard that we trusted to be around Maya, is the one that hurt Maya. I can’t believe this.” Namjoon slumped in his chair, like all the blood was drained from his body and was spilling from under his feet. With each revelation regarding this case, Namjoon was starting to feel as if he was a stranger in his own life. As if everyone around him was not who they appeared to be.
Everyone became silent. Like no one really had anything to offer to the conversation. They were all stunned. They were all confused. What could they say to a man whose girlfriend had been missing for a few days now? Was Maya even alive, some of the members secretly wondered?
Namjoon suddenly stood up from his chair. “Well, whatever happened, happened. We still need to go find her. Maybe we can all search for different U.S. related places and look for her there. See I found this American style BBQ restaurant, maybe we can go there and look? Someone else can go to the embassy. Someone can look up other places. Essentially, we all need to spread out and look. We can’t just sit here.”
“Don’t you think that this might be a little dangerous? The police said that we should try not to go out so much. Sejin hyung also has instructed us specifically not to go outside anymore.” Seokjin replied.
“I can’t just sit here. We’ve already wasted so much time. It’s been almost 3 days and we haven’t found anything about her. I have to go look. Oh and I’ll have to sneak out of here because I don’t want the guards to follow me. I can’t trust them anymore.” Namjoon responded as he grabbed his coat from his chair and his phone from his desk. He still couldn’t stop thinking about how much he wanted to go kill that guard. He wasn’t a violent person, really, but in this situation, the boundaries of morality were pretty blurred. The only thing, he thought could stop him from perhaps hurting that man would be the thoughts about his career. He was an idol after all.
“Okay, Jimin and I will come with you like we did earlier, Namjoon and Taehyungie, Jin, and Jungkook can continue looking here for places where there might be an American flag. They can send us information and we can go to those places.” Yoongi said.
“No, it’s okay, you guys should stay here or go home. I want everyone to be safe—” Namjoon was interrupted.
“— It wasn’t a suggestion, Namjoon-ah. I was telling you that we are coming with you.” Yoongi retorted.
Namjoon half-nodded.
“Wait, why the American flag?” Jungkook asked.
Jimin explained the whole story about Namjoon seeing the American flag in his visions regarding Maya’s kidnapping as succinctly as possible. “ — basically we have a strong feeling that the room they are keeping Maya in, has an American flag.”
“We’ll see you soon.” Yoongi said gesturing Tae, Jimin, Jin, and Jungkook to check their phones.
They all saw a text from Yoongi when they opened their phone.
7:00 PM - Same day
Taehyung, Jin, and Jungkook tried to send addresses to as many places they could think of or find on the internet that might have an American flag. And, within 2 hours, the Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi had either called or went and checked all the places they had addresses to. This included, American style restaurants in Seoul, the embassy that was located in Seoul, certain stores and gyms that were known to promote a lot of American products. Of course, whenever they came out of each place, they would wonder if Maya was in Seoul at all. There was a huge chance that maybe they took Maya outside of Seoul.
Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi went to their car after checking the 7th location. Yoongi was driving, Namjoon sat in the passenger seat, and Jimin was in the back. It was already dark outside and the restaurants and stores were closing soon. Everyone was tired and hungry, but too afraid to admit it. Namjoon couldn’t even remember the last time he had food.
“How about we go back to the dorms and...and then continue to look for more places?” Jimin hesitantly suggested.
“You guys go ahead. I’ll go look at some other places.” Namjoon replied.
“Namjoon hyung, what other places are left?” Jimin asked.
“I don’t know. There has to be something.” Namjoon pulled out his phone and started aimlessly searching on the internet for more places.
“I feel like we have to go back to the drawing board. We need to figure out the intention for this. Is this to specifically hurt Maya? Is this to hurt us? Because, if the intention was to hurt us, then why didn’t the person come after one of us? Why Maya? What has she done till now that would put her in jeopardy?” Yoongi was half mumbling.
“She is dating me. That is her fault. Her only fault.” Namjoon responded.
“But if that was the case then why didn’t this person or group of people come after Ji-Hyu when everyone found out about you both dating?”
“Maya is not Korean. Ji-Hyu was. It’s obvious from the threats that the person specifically disliked Maya because of her ethnicity. This is absolutely a hate crime.” Namjoon replied.
“But the cop said that the people involved might be influential, right?” Jimin added.
Namjoon didn’t say anything at first. He thought for a few seconds and then spoke while looking outside the window of the car.
“Well, to be perfectly honest, we all know that Korea never really accepted Huempathy. They tolerate that campaign because the world — or shall I say the West raves about it.” Namjoon claimed.
“What are you trying to say, hyung?” Jimin asked leaning over towards Namjoon from the back seat, trying to see his face.
“I think we need to ignoring the elephant in the room. We already know this happened because of the Huempathy campaign and the police are hesitant to help because this matter is becoming political. Whoever is involved is rich and is making a political statement.” Namjoon responded.
“What political statement?” Yoongi asked.
“Again, we are BTS. We are the face of Korea. People don’t see Maya the way we do and by dating her I am—”
“ — You are somehow betraying your country?” Yoongi completed Namjoon’s sentence.
“Yeah...at least that’s the only reason I can come up with…” Namjoon added.
“That’s ridiculous.” Jimin shook his head. Namjoon’s logic had holes. It made no real sense. “Why would someone go to the extent of kidnapping someone to make this statement?”
“I feel like it’s someone we know.” Yoongi changed the direction of the topic completely.
“What?” Namjoon turned to look at Yoongi.
“I just get the feeling that this whole thing is being done by someone who is personally invested in you and Maya. Because if this was just about the campaign and this person is powerful, they could have just used mediaplay and destroyed this whole campaign. But they didn’t. In fact, they waited for the campaign to end. They waited for us to be invited to the GRAMMYs. And then separated you two.” Yoongi had always had these weird hunches about things, and this was one of those times.
Namjoon began thinking about Yoongi’s hypothesis. He wondered if Yoongi could be right, but before he could give it much thought, his phone began vibrating. Namjoon pulled out his phone from his back pocket and noticed the caller’s name on the screen. It was Taehyung. Namjoon answered the call.
“Hello…”
“Hyung, did you see the text I sent you?” Taehyung asked.
“Uh...no, no I haven’t. What is it?” Namjoon asked in return, as he put Taehyung on speaker and began looking at Taehyung’s text.
Namjoon began reading.
The article also included pictures of the apartment complex, along with pictures of Sierra. The woman was African-American and she looked about the same age as Maya. In the picture, Sierra had a bright smile, and her dark brown eyes seemed to sparkle. She was wearing her hair in braids that were pulled into a ponytail and it looked like the picture was taken at a work event, because she was wearing a suit. Namjoon looked at the picture and felt a weird sense of sadness. The sadness was so deep, it was as if he had known the woman in the picture. Why was he so affected by this, he wondered?
Namjoon then looked at the pictures of the insides of the apartment complex. At first Namjoon was slightly confused why Taehyung had sent this particular article, until he saw one of the picture of Sierra’s apartment. Most of her unit was burned down, but there was a room that was still intact, and when Namjoon looked closely he saw a very blurry image of the American flag. It hit him then. Suddenly the image he remembered from the visions came to him. The deja vu like feeling took over Namjoon, and he knew this had to be the place. This was where they were keeping Maya.
Namjoon looked over at Yoongi and then at Jimin. “I think I know where Maya is.”
8:30PM - Same Day
As soon as Namjoon told Yoongi and Jimin about the article that he received from Taehyung, Yoongi looked towards Jimin and gave him a small nod. Jimin knew this meant Yoongi wanted Jimin to text the other members SOS. Jimin followed Yoongi’s command.
There was a reason why Yoongi wanted to hide this from Namjoon. He knew Namjoon would never agree on bringing the police with him after what happened at the police station and after hearing about the guard. But Yoongi had read Namjoon’s visions, and he knew something bad could happen if they all went to this place alone.
The 3 members arrived at the apartment complex, which was surprisingly mostly empty. It seemed like the place had been only somewhat renovated after the fire, but it didn’t seem like anyone was actually living there. The exterior walls were half-repainted and half unfinished, and the parts that were destroyed in the fire were only fixed enough to keep the building from looking disintegrated. The boys had looked up more information about the fire, as they were on their way to the building and had found out that the fire had occured due to a faulty wiring issue in one of the apartment units, and after the fire, the landlord gave up on trying to manage the building and sold it to another wealthy businessman, who hasn’t really done much with the property since buying it.
The boys had parked the car a few blocks away from the actual building and looked around to see if anyone was there. The entire area seemed empty, so they continued to silently walk towards the building.
Truth be told, Namjoon’s heart was pounding. There was so much going through his head in that moment. And his heart nearly fell out of his chest, when his phone began to vibrate just as he was about to open the door to the front entrance of the building.
Namjoon let go of the handle of the door and quickly picked up the phone without looking to see who it was, assuming it was Taehyung again asking for an update . Jimin and Yoongi both waited for him because, honestly, no one was ready to go inside.
Namjoon frustratingly answered the phone “Tae, we haven’t even went inside yet. Please, we’ll let you know when we get there.”
But instead of Taehyung, the person that responded to Namjoon was surprisingly, a woman.
“Well, Kim Namjoon...hats off to you and your friends, you’ve found your way here.”
Namjoon at first actually thought it was Tae’s answering machine, because the voice sounded similar to those automated machine voices, like Siri. However, when he comprehended the words that the voice was speaking, he realized it was actually a human disguising their voice using Siri’s voice.
As soon as Namjoon realized who this potentially be, he immediately looked at the number on the phone. But of course, the only thing he saw was that it was an unknown number. Namjoon then looked around to see if anyone was there, but he saw no one. How did this person know that Namjoon was at this building?
Namjoon didn’t say anything and the voice continued to speak. “You already know what I am about to tell you, don’t you?”
Namjoon looked at Yoongi and Jimin. They both had gotten a general idea of what was going on, because the voice was audible in the night time silence, despite the phone not being on speaker mode.
“Who are you?” Namjoon asked, knowing full-well he would not receive an answer.
“Ooof...I feel like that’s actually a really hard question. You also asked this question at an award show a couple years ago. ‘Who are you?’ and I swear you sent me down an existential rabbit hole for the next several months….anyways, before this turns into one of those cliche dramatic movie conversations, and you ask me to get to the point, I’ll tell you that I am the person that caused you this inconvenience of having to search for your….ummm...I guess you call her your girlfriend?” A laughter erupted after the person finished the sentence.
At this point Namjoon was in complete fear and dread, but had managed to find the courage of walking inside the building. It was obvious the person knew that they were here, so there was no point in stopping now. They were walking in the eye of the storm.
Namjoon gestured Yoongi and Jimin to stay at the entrance of the building while he was on the phone, but both refused.
“If you already know I am here, then you should probably give up your plan before I find you.”
“I actually always hoped you’d find me...” The person seemed to have let out a sigh, but even that sigh sounded automated.
“ But that’s a conversation for another time — For now, I am letting you know that if you come up here then it will be too late.” The voice continued.
“What do you mean?” Namjoon asked.
“How about you just hear it for yourself. Let me transfer your call to our more...human representative.” There were suddenly different beeping sounds, as if the person was actually transferring the call to someone else.
And in that next moment, Namjoon’s pounding heart came to a sudden stop. It was really similar to those movies when the world comes to a stop and everything that was moving was now on pause. It was still. Nothing else really ever existed. No other organism or object was present in this galaxy or any other. It was almost as if there was nothing alive besides him and the person that was now speaking. He was alive. And so was—Maya.
Summary: Idol Namjoon meets a grad student, Maya, but he experiences strange visions each time their eyes meet and they touch one another. Fate plays a magnetic role, & keeps bringing them together. Are these visions a sign that they should stay away or stay together?
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Previous Part: Chapter Twenty nine
Next Part: Chapter Thirty one
Summary: Namjoon tries to find Maya using their visions, but what he discovers is that there are way more puzzle pieces missing in this story than he thinks. Will he be able to save Maya? Or will his attempts just lead him to more dead ends?
2:00 AM - 2nd day after Maya went missing.
As soon as Namjoon landed in Korea, Sejin and him both went straight to Maya’s apartment. It was a futile attempt, but Namjoon just needed to get this part over with to get rid of whatever little hope he had left of magically finding Maya in her own apartment.
As soon as Namjoon got there he saw multiple police cars parked outside, which immediately killed that small flicker of hope of finding Maya. Nonetheless, Sejin waited downstairs as Namjoon went up to her apartment door, where a cop stopped him.
“Sir, glad you are here. We have some questions for you.” The cop said. Of course, the cop knew who Namjoon was and what he was doing there.
“Questions? For me?” Namjoon asked, as he tried to get through the door but was blocked by the cop. Defeatedly, Namjoon looked past the cop and noticed that there were at least five other cops inside searching every corner of Maya’s small apartment. It finally hit Namjoon just how severe the situation was.
“Yes. We wanted to ask you questions about Ms. Shroff.” the cop answered. “Let’s go outside. We can’t let you go inside right now due to the investigation.”
“Oh okay….yeah…You can ask me anything. Just please find her. Please...” Namjoon answered. He wanted to help. He was willing to do anything and everything that would bring him his Maya.
Namjoon and the cop came back downstairs, outside by all the police cars. Sejin also caught up with them. Namjoon noticed the neighbors were all looking from their windows, curious about what was going on. Everything seemed so surreal. Just hours ago he was standing on the GRAMMYs stage and now he was standing outside his girlfriend’s apartment talking about his missing girlfriend. It scared him how normal he was acting despite the situation. It scared him how this world was still spinning despite his Maya not being next to him. It reminded him of just how unimportant a human life really was.
“We will try to find Ms. Shroff. Now, how long have you known Maya Shroff?” The cop turned to Namjoon and asked. His face was unreadable to Namjoon.
“Umm...I remember we met in 2016. So, I guess 5 and a half years.”
“Hmm...okay. And I heard you were dating Ms. Shroff. How long was that?”
Namjoon was almost offended at the cop’s use of past tense when referring to his and Maya’s relationship.
“We are still dating. We’ve been for almost 5 years, if you don’t count 2 years when we weren’t technically together. We announced that were dating last year.”
“Interesting. Well, how long have you two been getting the threats? Was this before you started dating or after?” The cop pulled out a small notebook from his pocket and scribbled something before asking the question.
“I am sorry…. what threats?” Namjoon was confused.
“I am talking about the letters and the notes. Do you know anyone who had threatened you before?” The cop asked again. He was speaking as if he expected Namjoon to know about what was going on. But Namjoon didn’t. He had no freaking clue what letters and notes the cop was talking about.
Namjoon’s head started spinning as he tried to make sense of what was going on. And as if out of nowhere everything around him went black.
8:00AM - 3rd day after Maya went missing.
“Namjoon! Namjoon?!” Manager Sejin was looking at him when Namjoon slowly opened his eyes. His vision was blurry, but he found himself inside his own bedroom.
He slowly sat up in his bed, confused how he got there. “What’s going on? How did I get here?”
Sejin handed him a glass of water. “You fainted outside of Maya’s apartment so we brought you here. It’s morning now. ” Sejin paused.
“Did they find Maya? I just remember the cops saying something about threats...What threats?” Namjoon asked with a sense of emergence in his voice.
Sejin sighed. He contemplated whether to tell Namjoon the whole truth or not. Sejin had caught up with the police and figured out all the logistics of the situation, but he wasn’t sure if Namjoon was ready to know. In the end, Sejin decided there was no point in hiding.
“Namjoon-ah, there is a very strong possibility that Maya has been kidnapped. The last she was seen was at her friend— Uh— “
“Han Bi” Namjoon figured.
“Ah— yes...she was last seen at Han Bi’s house. Apparently the girls had ordered a pizza and then Han Bi went to get it and when she came back, Maya was gone.” Sejin finished saying.
“But then what about those threats? She was being threatened?”
“Umm...yeah...about that…” Sejin pulled out several pieces of paper from his pocket and hesitatingly handed them to Namjoon.
Namjoon looked at Sejin in confusion and slowly took the folded papers into his hand. He unfolded one of them to take a look. Something was written in red.
Seems like you’ve made a choice. Now prepare for the consequence. 💀
Namjoon looked up at Sejin again and unfolded the second paper. “What is this?”
Who knew someone as ugly as you could be so stubborn. You really think this is a joke?
Namjoon folded back that paper and unfolded another.
If you want to live, you’ll rethink about your decision.
“These are copies of some of the threats Maya was receiving. Did you know about this?” Sejin asked.
“What? No...No, I had no idea.” Namjoon replied. “Wait, Maya was receiving all these?” Namjoon asked again.
“Yeah, apparently she had been getting some weird phone calls, texts, and notes” Sejin answered. “I can’t believe she didn’t tell you this. I can’t even understand how she was getting all these if there were guards everywhere. And why didn’t she tell you?”
A wave of guilt took over Namjoon as he remembered the day he had first told Maya about Huempathy. He remembered she had mentioned getting a threat. The little note she had received inside a box filled with egg shells. How could he have forgotten about that? He had assumed she had stopped receiving them. He had assumed after they put the guards outside of Maya’s apartment, she was safe. Besides, Maya had never mentioned this to him or anyone at the company.
“...she had mentioned one instance of a threat she had received...but that was before she and I officially started dating again and told everyone about Huempathy. I had no idea she had received any threats after that…”
“Well...Namjoon-ah...I...I think this is more serious than we thought.” Sejin responded with a grave voice.
Namjoon gulped as he continued to swift through the rest of the papers that were filled with threats written in red ink.
“I...I can’t believe she did this. I can’t believe she didn’t tell me about any of this.” Namjoon mumbled.
Sejin was puzzled. After thinking for hours about this situation, Sejin could not really come up with a legitimate excuse for someone to go to the extent of threatening and kidnapping Maya. “I guess it’s safe to assume the person behind this is the same. But I don’t understand what they could have wanted from her?”
Namjoon didn’t answer as a new wave of emotions took over him. He wasn’t sure whether he was feeling angry, sad, afraid, or frustrated. Perhaps, feeling a mixture of emotions was the only valid response. Suddenly, an idea emerged in his mind.
“I have to get my laptop.” Namjoon said in an urgent tone and immediately got off his bed.
“Why? What are you doing?” Sejin asked.
“Uh...Nothing. I just have to go to my studio. I left my laptop there.” Namjoon put on his coat, which was still laying at the end of the bed from when the cops must have brought Namjoon to his room. He then grabbed his keys that were by his dresser.
“Namjoon...wait!” Sejin called Namjoon’s name, but Namjoon didn’t stop.
Sejin followed Namjoon outside his room. As soon as Namjoon came into the living room, he found Yoongi and Jimin sitting on the couch. The members had just arrived that morning. Most of them went straight to their bedrooms, but Jimin and Yoongi were still talking about Maya.
Namjoon walked passed them without really talking.
“Where are you going, hyung?” Jimin asked.
“I am going to get my laptop from my studio.” Namjoon answered.
Jimin and Yoongi both looked at each other and nodded. They both got up from the couch and followed Namjoon and Sejin.
As soon as the four came outside, the guards also joined. They all walked to the apartment garage. Sejin sent the guards to a different car and Namjoon walked to his own car. As soon as they reached the car, Yoongi interrupted. “Namjoon, I can drive. You should try to breathe.”
It was then that Namjoon realized he was out of breath. His face had lost all its color and he was completely out of breath. It was as if he had just ran a marathon.
“It’s okay—” Namjoon was about to speak when Sejin’s phone began to ring.
Sejin picked up his phone. “Hello..” Sejin continued talking with short “uhmms” and “okays”. He then put his phone away and looked at the boys.
“What happened? Did they find her?” Namjoon asked, assuming the call was about Maya.
“Uh...no...actually, her parents are here. I think I may have to pick them up at the airport because the other team is busy trying to gather leads to find Maya. Should I bring them to meet you from the airport?”
Namjoon frustratingly ran his fingers through his hair, almost wanting to scream. Gosh, this was the worst possible thing that could happen right now. How terrible was his fate that the first time he was about to meet his girlfriend’s parents was when she was missing? What will they think about him when he couldn’t even protect their daughter? What would they say when they ask him about where their daughter is? Where was Maya?
“Yeah, I’ll come meet them as soon as I get my laptop.” Namjoon stated.
“What’s in the laptop?” Sejin asked.
“Hopefully, my computer will help me find her.” Namjoon replied. He was partially glad Sejin was not coming with them. It would have been much harder for Namjoon to explain the visions to him. Sejin might not have even believed him.
“Let’s go Namjoonah.” Yoongi said as he got into the driver’s seat, Jimin sat in the passenger seat and Namjoon sat in the back.
“So...what’s in the laptop?” Yoongi asked as he began driving.
Namjoon didn’t say anything at first, but then he answered after a few moments. “The visions...or at least the parts we remember”
“Oh...you guys wrote them down?” Jimin asked as he turned to look towards Namjoon in the backseat.
“Yeah we have most of them. But I have a feeling, Maya probably didn’t update some of them...Especially the ones related to the...the situation.”
“Wait...you both knew this would happen?” Yoongi asked, still looking ahead while driving, but his eyebrows furrowed a bit.
“No...I mean, yes...some of it. We didn’t know what exactly would happen….but...but I guess we had some idea…” Namjoon paused.
“...and besides, it seems no matter what we would have done, there was no way of avoiding the visions” Namjoon added, as he felt the need to justify his decisions.
“Well, do you think you both will end up together?Did you have any visions about that?” Jimin asked.
“It’s not really that simple. I remember some things very vividly and others I don’t remember at all. I remembered vividly the vision about Maya coming to the studio to tell us about the GRAMMYs, but I had no idea when I had the vision that the thing she would tell us would be about the GRAMMYs. I just remembered that we were all happy and in the dance studio. Then when it happened, I just noticed that I had felt the feeling before and remembered it was from the vision. Of course, there was no way I would have predicted that.”
“So those visions are are like self-prophecy?” Yoongi suggested
“Perhaps…perhaps, this whole thing happened because we somehow knew this would happen. I feel like the universe is manipulating me.” Namjoon replied with sadness in his voice.
“But at least they are useful in this situation, especially if we can find some type of clue that could help us find her.” Jimin retorted.
“We have to find her. Whether that’s in the visions or not. We have to find her.” Namjoon half-mumbled.
The boys arrived at the BigHit building, and the guards followed. The boys asked the guards to wait outside, while they hurriedly went inside the studio. Namjoon opened the door to the studio and the boys went in. He opened his laptop and quickly found the shared document he and Maya had created when they first discovered their visions. Namjoon shifted through the visions and began taking notes on a piece of paper that was laying on the table. Jimin and Yoongi also pulled up chairs next to Namjoon’s desk and read along silently.
Namjoon began to write the things that had already happened and then the things that he didn’t remember happening so far. It was harder to figure out which things had already happened for the scenes involving only Maya, because he wasn’t sure if she had already been through the scenes or not. Nonetheless, Namjoon tried to guess the best that he could.
Upon going through the list of things that had not happened yet, he was surprised to see that it mostly included things that were likely associated with the possible kidnapping. He revisited those descriptions of scenes, trying to see if he could remember anything that could help them.
It was then that Namjoon remembered a small detail from one of the visions. A detail that was just casually added in the document when he had written down the vision.
“Do you see this here?” Namjoon pointed at the sentence that consisted the detail.
Maya was unconscious, the room was almost dark except one slight fluorescent light that was shining on a flag, it was the American flag…
Yoongi and Jimin read the sentence and looked at Namjoon.
“The American flag. The place where she is at must have an American flag.”
“Yeah, but what does that mean?” Yoongi asked.
“What if she is in America? What if they took her to America?” Namjoon responded. His voice was inquisitive yet sad. Instead of utter hopelessness, he was using the part of his mind that he used to make leadership decisions. He was putting aside his emotions the best that he could.
“You are saying this whole time Maya was in America while we are searching for her in Korea?” Jimin asked. It was as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
Suddenly, then Namjoon's phone began to ring. He looked to see who it was. It was Sejin.
"Hello?"
"Hey, I am almost at the BigHit building with Maya's parents. I will see you soon."
"Oh okay, I will meet you in the lobby."
"Alright."
Jimin, Yoongi, and Namjoon went outside to the lobby with nervous expressions. Soon, a car pulled up at the entrance and a man and a woman got out of the car. It was obvious they were Maya’s parents, because their skin tone matched Maya’s. They both looked tired and had reddish eyes that gave away their sadness. They both hesitantly walked inside, where Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi were waiting. Namjoon immediately went towards them, offering his hand for a handshake.
“Hi Mr. and Mrs.Shroff...welcome!” Namjoon spoke in English.
Jimin and Yoongi both quietly shook their hands as well.
They both had worried expressions. Mr. Shroff gave a slight nod and Mrs. Shroff gave a small forced polite smile.
“Good to finally meet you all.” Mrs. Shroff said softly. Her voice reminded Namjoon of Maya. Her voice was soft and tender, but still confident.
“Uh...same here, ma’am. Before I say anything, I want to apologize about everything. I am sorry this is happening and I didn’t take care of your daughter the way I should have. It’s my fault she is in danger and I promise I will find her and safely bring her back.”
“If I was you, I wouldn’t make that promise.” Mr. Shroff said. His face was intimidating and his aura was powerful.
“I am sorry wha—” Namjoon was puzzled and he didn’t finish his sentence. Why would a girl’s dad say that?
“...Maya doesn’t listen to people. I am sure she is the one who got herself in this. She should have listened when we told her not to come to Korea...but of course, she always does the opposite of what we tell her.”
“Please Aariz, now is not the time.” Mrs. Shroff said putting her hand on his arm. Aariz was Maya’s father’s name, Namjoon noted.
“All I am saying is, if she is in danger, it’s her own fault. She shouldn’t have gotten into this mess. First, she wanted to become a writer, instead of getting the law degree and then she...” Mr. Shroff trailed off, realizing that finishing the sentence was pointless. He had barely had any expectation from his daughter, Maya. He knew Maya would eventually get herself in trouble and now it was happening. When he had gotten the call about Maya being missing, he was only a little surprised. He knew since the day Maya had mentioned that she was joining SM or working with BigHit, she was no longer in their hands. He realized he had to just accept whatever fate brought for his daughter and that’s what he was doing: barely caring.
However, this made Namjoon furious. Namjoon knew about Maya’s parents and their ridiculous expectations from her. Namjoon knew how insecure Maya felt around them. But he could not believe even in this situation, they were blaming her.
“Sir, with all due respect, it is not her fault someone is trying to hurt her. And I would gladly get into all the reasons why your daughter who happens to be my girlfriend, is one of the greatest writers and social activists in Korea at the moment, but I won’t get into that right now because I actually care about her and would rather spend my time finding her.” Namjoon replied with assertiveness. “...And as I said earlier, I promise I will find her. Whether you have faith in her and I or not, I do.” He added.
Mrs. Shroff was crying at this point. It was obvious she was worried. She was afraid of losing her daughter.
Jimin went up to her and put his hand gently on Mrs. Shroff’s shoulder. “Don’t worry.” Jimin managed to mutter.
After meeting with Maya’s parents, Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jimin went outside to meet Sejin and the guards. They needed to meet with the police and ask them to search in United States.
“Sejin Hyung, we have to go. Would you take Maya’s parents to the hotel? I am sure they are tired.” Namjoon said. “Oh and please put the guards by them as well. I think we need the tightest security for all of us right now.”
“Okay, sure. But where are you going?” Sejin asked.
“ I am heading out to meet the police.” Namjoon looked at Jimin and Yoongi. “You guys should head home. You must be jet lagged.”
“We are fine. We are coming with you.” Yoongi responded. It was more of a demand.
“Are you meeting the police to tell them about something? Did you find what you were looking for in your laptop?” Sejin was still not sure what was going on.
“Umm...yeah. Sort of. I have to go. The longer I wait, the more pain she is probably going to be in.” Namjoon reminded everyone of how urgent this matter really was.
Sejin nodded. He was still not completely satisfied with Namjoon’s answer, but he decided to let go of the matter for now.
11:00AM
Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jimin arrived at the police station surrounded by guards and wearing their face masks. There was a crowd outside, consisting of mostly journalists and ARMYs, wanting to hear new information about Maya. It was mess trying to get inside the police station, but they finally made it.
“What’s going on?” One of the cops asked. He was the same man Namjoon had talked to the previous night.
“I think she is in America.” Namjoon quickly went up to him and said.
“How? How do you know?” The cop asked with confused expressions.
“I just know. Please send your team to America. I know that’s where she is.”
“Yes, but America is huge country. Where would we even look? Besides, our team had already checked all the security footage at the Incheon airport of the last few days when we were originally searching for her and we didn’t see anything.” the cop answered.
“Did you even try checking all the airports? What if they took her from another airport?”
“Look sir, our team is trying our best. We understand you are worried, but I really don’t think she is in America.”
“Well, can you at least check? I am certain she is in America. Why don’t you contact the American police? Maybe they can help find her.” Namjoon insisted.
“Listen, we know she is not in America because her passport is with us. There is no way she could have left the country without her passport. Again, I assure you we are trying. We’ll find her, okay?”
Namjoon became frustrated. “Listen, I am sure she is in America. I don’t know how she got there, but I know she is there because...because I am certain the place they took her to has an American flag.”
“I don’t understand how you got this information,” the cop replied. “I didn’t want to scare you before, but all I can tell you right now is that this case is more serious than you think. So please don’t take any sudden steps that could harm you or any of your loved ones.” The cop added.
“What do you mean it’s more serious than I think?” Namjoon asked.
The cop sighed looked around at his surroundings and gestured Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi to another room. “Come with me,” he said.
“Listen, I have a feeling there are some influential people involved in this. And I really don’t think she is in America. I really think they are keeping her here so they can keep an eye on her. That’s all I know right now and I strongly urge you not to leave your place for now. We don’t know what intentions these people have right now so you could also be in danger.” The cop whispered.
“But I don’t understand...what would influential people have to do with Maya?” Namjoon asked. His heart was pounding in fear.
“I think you are forgetting we are all global superstars. They obviously want money.” Yoongi said in a matter-of-fact way.
“But if they wanted money, wouldn’t they have just called Namjoon-hyung by now, asking for money?” Jimin questioned.
“I agree with Jimin-shi. The threats weren’t just talking about money. They were trying to stop her from making some type of decision.” The cop added.
Namjoon was too taken aback to think clearly. “Do..do you think they’ll hurt her?” Namjoon asked.
The cop was quiet for a second. “I can’t guarantee that she won’t be hurt, but I can say that we are trying...it’s just...it’s just that our hands are slightly tied in this matter.” The cop said biting his lip.
“What do you mean?” Namjoon asked.
“As I said, it seems like there are people that might be influential that are involved in this and they are trying to cover up this whole deal.”
Yoongi gave the cop a confused look. “But I don’t get it...how did they not expect this to become big? Namjoon is a global celebrity and people love Maya and Namjoon. How would they hide this?”
“Well, that I don’t know. I assume that depends on their intention. All I am noticing is that some of our superiors keep stopping us from following some of the leads.”
“So, you are saying that you can’t help?” Namjoon’s anger was back.
“Again, I am really trying. No one deserves to get hurt without a reason. I was letting you know the truth of the matter.” The cop slowly backed away from the members, turned around, and walked out of the room.
It was silent for a few moments after the cop left. The background noises came back into focus in Namjoon’s mind. There were a few other cops in a different part of the station laughing about something they saw on their phone. There was someone that was getting coffee in the other corner of the station. There were people talking on the phone. Some older woman was filing a complaint in the front. It was an ordinary day for these people. It was just another day. But for Namjoon it all felt so strange. It all felt so painful.
“Let’s go hyung. I think we should wait and talk to Sejin hyung. We can see if we can figure out another way to find her.” Jimin went up to Namjoon and said.
Namjoon didn’t respond or move. He stood there. Thinking. “What types of places do you think would put up American flags in Korea?” Namjoon suddenly asked after a few more moments.
Jimin and Yoongi looked at each other. They knew what Namjoon was asking. They knew Namjoon was not going to give up.
2:00PM - Unidentified Location
Maya found herself awake again. She was still in the same room she was last time. Her face was still in pain. A few hours ago, Maya was talking too loudly and so the man with a black hoodie slapped her harshly. There was probably a bruise on her face by now. She didn’t know whether it was night or day. There were no clocks or windows in this room. She was still tied to the chair, except this time her legs were not tied. They had let her go to a bathroom that was attached to this room and when she came back they tied her again, but forgot to tie her legs. She had tried to see if there was a way she could escape, but she was feeling so tired she couldn’t keep her eyes open for more than a few minutes. She was certain they were mixing something in her food. But she still ate it because she wasn’t sure when she would get her next meal.
At one point, a young girl had came by as well. She was observing Maya as if Maya was some type of a zoo animal. Maya was only half awake when the girl came to see her, so she couldn’t decipher what she was telling the two hooded men that were watching over Maya this entire time. All Maya remembered was that at some point she had felt a flash on her face, like someone was taking a picture. She was sure it was that girl.
Maya felt her eyes closing again, her mind hazily wondered what Namjoon was up to right now. She wondered if he knew she was gone. She was gone and perhaps she might not see him again. At least he could go back to being just a BTS member. He could go back to the way things were before Maya came into his life. Sure, he would be upset, but he would get over it. He would move on to bigger and better things.
Summary: Idol Namjoon meets a grad student, Maya, but he experiences strange visions each time their eyes meet and they touch one another. Fate plays a magnetic role, & keeps bringing them together. Are these visions a sign that they should stay away or stay together?
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Previous Part: Chapter Twenty Eight
Next Part: Chapter Thirty
20 Minutes Before the GRAMMYs red carpet
“Namjoon-ah, if you want to go right now, you should. We’ll take care of everything here.” Yoongi came into the room and said it with his classic nod.
“Yoongi hyung is right, we can take care of things here. If you are worried and feel like you need to go, then we completely understand.” Jimin added.
“...We have sent people to go look for her as well. They’ll keep us updated if they find anything. I assume she was probably called into work or something...she is still promoting her book, right?” Bang PD asked.
Namjoon swallowed sharply still trying to process what was happening. He wanted to believe that Maya was okay and that there was just some weird mix up and perhaps she had just missed her flight. But he just couldn’t stop imagining the day a few months ago when Maya had left without her phone. She had returned safely and promised him that she would keep in touch with him as often as possible. There was no way she wouldn’t contact him if she wasn’t able to make it to the flight.
A bitter laugh escaped Namjoon’s mouth. His laugh was so loud and unusual that everyone in the room looked at each other. He then began to clap. It was a slow sarcastic clap. Then he got up from the couch, moving the couch at least a feet back.
“Hyung…” Taehyung asked with confusion. He knew Namjoon had lost it. There was no other explanation for this reaction. Namjoon stood in the middle of the room looking completely lost. He felt like the land underneath him had slipped and he was falling. He was falling somewhere dark and hopeless. His mind was racing, but it was still at the same time.
“No, Tae. No. She is gone. Everything I was worried about is happening. Everything she and I tried to avoid is happening and it’s all my fault.” Namjoon fell to his knees in hopelessness.
“Are you saying she is in danger?” Bang PD asked.
Namjoon nodded as he covered his face with his hands.
“Well then in that case, I can’t let you go even if you want to. Namjoon, we need to let the police handle the situation.”
“What if they hurt her? What should I do?” Namjoon let out an unintentional sob. He frustratingly ran his hands through his hair. His makeup and hair were ruined.
“If you don’t feel comfortable attending the show then I understand, but there is no confirmation that she is in danger. Let’s not jump to conclusions. Again, there are already people looking for her so they might find her even before you get there.” Bang PD assured.
Namjoon knew Bang PD was being reasonable about the situation, but Namjoon also knew somewhere inside Maya was not safe. But was he going to be able to help this situation? What would he even do?
“How about you leave after the show? I am pretty sure they’ll already find her by then, but in case they don’t, you can leave right after.” Manager Sejin suggested. He knew Namjoon would never say no to him. And Manager Sejin was not sure about the idea of having Namjoon go back alone and neither was he sure about letting Namjoon stay backstage. Namjoon would just dwell on it more if he did.
Namjoon sighed. He had to choose a loss, and so he did. He decided to attend the GRAMMYs. Was he really about to attend an award show over going to look for his girlfriend? Yes. Does he not love her enough to give up a stupid show? He does. And he would in every other situation. Is her life not worth anything to him? She is his life. You see, perhaps for the world, this was the most selfish move he could have taken. The world would see him as careless, as fake. But for him this was the most selfless thing he had ever done. His self was his Maya. He had lost his self, therefore he was selfless. If he wanted to be selfish, he would have ran out of that room and went and looked for her.
But he knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t leave behind the six boys that had given up their entire life for this day. He couldn’t leave behind the people that had ultimately allow him to be with Maya. If Maya was part of Namjoon, then she was part of his identity as a leader. And a leader is always selfless. Always.
Namjoon stood up from the ground and put on his suit. He wiped his face of any residual tears and looked at the mirror to make sure he looked presentable. “You are right, Sejin hyung.” He said.
The six members were shocked. Was Namjoon being serious?
“Namjoon, are you sure?” Hoseok asked.
Namjoon nodded. At this point he was only alive for the sake of not being considered dead.
“Let’s go.” Namjoon gestured the rest of the boys. The boys looked at each other and then slowly stood up. Everyone piled out of the room towards the limousine that was waiting for them to take them to the red carpet. But none of the boys showed any form of excitement or happiness.
Soon they were surrounded by the flashing lights of the cameras as they got out of the limousine. The boys tried to put on a fake smile. They were trained for this and they knew their roles well. Except Namjoon felt empty. Maya was supposed to be here. She was supposed to wrap her arm around his arm and they were going to walk to together. She was supposed to wear a red dress and her skin would be glowing under all the camera lights. Her hair, her earrings, the way she would walk would steal a thousand hearts, but she would only belong to him. Except, she wasn’t here. And now there was a huge invisible empty space next to Namjoon that he felt even though he was with his members.
They began their walk down the red carpet. Yoongi was the one leading the group, as Namjoon was not fully present.
The first interviewer asked. “BTS! How are you feeling tonight?”
“Good.” Jimin answered.
“Alright! Well, this is unbelievable. I am standing next to a historic boy band that has just broken every barrier that exists in the music industry. How does that feel for you guys today? You are at the GRAMMYs!”
“We are so excited to be here! It’s the most special moment for us.” Yoongi half-mumbled. The other guys looked at each other. They had not expected Yoongi to be so fluent.
“It is absolutely an unbelievable moment. I feel like you all have started a movement and in this past year with the Huempathy campaign, you’ve made global impact. How do you handle this type of influence? What goes through your mind?” The interview asked.
“We only wanted equality and respect for everyone. We just wanted to spread love.” Namjoon suddenly spoke. His jaw clenched unintentionally. He was almost angry at how oblivious everyone else was. Hoseok put his arm gently on Namjoon’s shoulder. Trying to seem casual. Trying to calm him down.
“Speaking of love, we had heard our favorite author and your charming girlfriend would also be here today, where is Dr. Shroff? Is she not going to accompany you on this occasion?” The interviewer held the microphone towards Namjoon.
Namjoon tried his best to keep it together, inside he felt like someone had just poured acid onto his heart. It was burning. Everything was burning. He wanted to run far away from this place. He wanted to cry. He was hoping this was all a dream.
“...Umm...yeah...actually she is not able to be here today because of…” Namjoon wanted to tell the world what had actually happened to Maya. He didn’t know whether she was even alive or not. He didn’t know whether he would ever get to see her again or not. He wanted to tell the world that someone was hurting her right now and he was helpless.
“...because she is very sick.” Seokjin intervened.
“Yeah, she is...sick” Namjoon hesitatingly added.
“Oh, I see...well hope she feels better. Good luck tonight, boys!” The interviewer ended their interview.
They then continued down the red carpet and spoke to a few other people. Then they reached Lauren from The Daily Primer. She was the one that had interivewed Maya years ago when Namjoon and Maya weren’t together. Namjoon remembered that interview. It was like he was suddenly reliving it. Except this time he was the one dreading it.
“Hello, hello, gentlemen! Wow, what a DASHING group we have here?! Phew, I already hear the ladies, and even men surrendering their hearts to you tonight.” Lauren said with her usual charming voice. He wondered what Maya would have said if she was here. She would have felt so strange being in front of Lauren again. She would have held Namjoon’s hand even tighter. She would have given him a nervous look. But she wasn’t here to feel this awkwardness, and that made this even more awkward.
“...How are you guys? We haven’t interviewed together in years, right?” Lauren continued.
The members nodded. “...It’s been a while.” Jungkook said the phrase he often used during concerts.
“Yeah it has been...Well, last time we spoke you were still new in America and had just started gaining traction. Now, tonight you’ve already made history and are being compared with The Beatles and Michael Jackson. So how does that feel?”
“We are just very grateful.” Hoseok gave his beautiful smile, hoping to distract Lauren. He knew what her next question would be and he was trying to avoid it.
But alas, that question was unavoidable. “Yes, absolutely! And actually, I’ve got a question for RM. We’d heard you were bringing a date. But where is Maya?” Lauren asked quite directly.
Namjoon let out a laugh. He didn’t know where it came from but it did. It was like he was laughing at his fate. The world wanted to know where Maya was, and they were asking Namjoon as if he knew. In fact, he’d like to know too.
“You know, you had Maya on your show a couple years ago. You had asked her about BTS back then. We were still in love at the time. But she didn’t say this because she was trying to protect me and my members.” Namjoon blurted out.
“Yeah, she is very sick today…” Yoongi said.
“Very sick” Taehyung joined in.
“Oh wow, well I hope she gets well soon. I had no idea at the time, but I am glad you two decided to do this campaign, RM. You all are making a great change.” Lauren responded.
Namjoon nodded. They were making great changes. But those changes were at the cost of Maya’s life. Whatever was going on with Maya, was most definitely related to him. He was the reason her life was in danger, and he was here, taking the glory. He gave an internal bitter round of applause to fate. Great job, fate. You won.
The rest of the red carpet interviews went similarly. The rest of the boys tried to speak more in order to ease Namjoon’s pressure. But in the end, the question about Maya was asked repeatedly. The world was confused. Maya and Namjoon were supposed to be one of the most anticipated appearance on the red carpet and them not showing up together was raising suspicion.
Nonetheless, the boys made it inside the venue. They sat down being greeted by various famous artists, directors, producers, and other dignified guests from the industry. It was a historical moment. It was everything they had imagined and everything they had worked for. Whether they would win tonight or not, it was undeniable that they had reached a level of success that was insurmountable. Unfortunately, of course, none of them had the courage or desire to enjoy the moment.
All 7 members sat down in their seats. They were quite close to the front, and they knew ARMYs would be happy to see that. BTS knew ARMYs would be in their homes watching every moment of the event, praying and hoping for their win. Tonight, wasn’t just about the members. It wasn’t just about the company or the band or the fame. It was truly about the millions of ordinary people that fearlessly, tirelessly, and unapologetically supported these 7 men through thick and thin. The boys also knew, that ARMYs would see their glum expressions and wonder what could be the reason for their lack of enthusiasm. Therefore, they kept a smile, at least most of them tried to. Namjoon was failing. For the first time ever, his fearless leader mask was falling off of him, revealing the painful side he always hid so well.
The award show soon began with the earlier awards being given to the technical writing and production teams of different musical acts. The cameraman did pan over to BTS once or twice. The cameraman was hoping for more reactions from them. But he didn’t receive any reactions, just a gentle smile from Jimin and a slight nod from Hoseok. They were usually more enthusiastic during award shows, but this time there was an air of worry surrounding them.
As the award show continue, the tension in Namjoon’s leg was growing. His left leg kept shaking as if he had restless leg syndrome. His thoughts were even faster than his leg movement. He was physically there but mentally and emotionally not present. He kept thinking back to the visions. He kept thinking back to what they could’ve changed. What they could’ve done differently. But there was nothing he could do to change the present moment.
Eventually the MC announced that the World Music category would be announced after a commercial break. The crowd spurred in and out of the auditorium as the show went on commercial. But BTS remained still. Yoongi leaned over towards Hoseok, who was sitting next to him.
“What happens if we win? Who is going to speak?” Yoongi whispered.
Hoseok pursed his lips. The question was lurking inside Hoseok’s mind as well. BTS knew that their chances of winning were low. They had tried their hardest not to expect the award. But this was their first GRAMMY award. This was their ultimate dream and if by chance they did win, they knew that they would always be remembered by whatever they say today.
Hoseok shook his head. “We’ll just take turns and say what we think we can say in English.”
Taehyung was sitting next to Hoseok. He overheard the conversation and jumped in. “I have been practicing something I wanted to say. Maybe I’ll say that, if we need it.”
Yoongi nodded. “Good.”
“Do you think Maya’s gonna be okay?” Jungkook who was sitting on the other side whispered to Yoongi.
“She’ll be fine. We’ll find her.” Yoongi replied. However, there was big knot inside his stomach as he said those words. Something inside Yoongi was telling him that there was something terribly wrong happening in that moment.
Namjoon had heard the conversation that his members were having, but he had no energy to say anything. He was still struggling to breath.
Suddenly the MC came back on to the stage and the countdown began for the show to come back on air from the commercial. The audience started taking their seats and the spotlights came back on.
The MC began speaking. “The presenter for the next award is one of the youngest GRAMMY winner with a voice that soothes even the coldest of souls. Let me invite on stage Khalid to announce the winner for the Best World Music Album Award category.”
Khalid walks onto the stage with an envelope that contained the winner of the award. Meanwhile, in the audience the members all held each other’s hands. Namjoon was hesitant when Jimin had reached out his hand towards him, but eventually gave in. Jimin gave a small smile. Namjoon tried his best to return the smile.
“Thank you to the recording academy for having me on this stage tonight to present such prestigious award. This year, America truly showed that we are finally opening our hearts and mind to good music despite language and genre. I feel particularly honored to present this award as it represents that good music has no boundaries. Alright so the nominees for the Best World Music Album category are…”
The nominations played on the big screen behind Khalid. The auditorium was much louder when BTS’s name appeared on the screen which revealed again the ARMYs that were present in the audience. The whole night these ARMYs had tried to be as polite as possible, but they couldn’t help themselves in that moment. After all, this was not only the biggest moment for BTS, this was the biggest moment for ARMYs as well.
After the nominations the camera panned back onto Khalid. He had a gentle smirk on his face. It was obvious Khalid had already peeked at the winner’s name backstage, but then again, who wouldn’t?
Khalid opened the envelope carefully, and it felt like the world was moving in slow motion. The members clutched each other’s hands tightly, some murmuring prayers under their breath while others with deep nervous expressions.
Namjoon turned to the empty seat next to him. The seat was for Maya. He sighed and swallowed harshly as Khalid announced the winner of the award. “I love you.” He mumbled to the empty space.
“The GRAMMY winner for the Best World Music Album is...none other than...BTS!” Khalid announced on the stage and immediately the crowd roared.
The next few moments were a blur. The boys haphazardly gave each other a group hug and stumbled onto the stage. It was like the world was still and they were the only ones moving. They were the only ones breathing. And for Namjoon these breaths felt far too heavy. He had followed Jimin’s and Hoseok’s lead to the stage but after getting on the stage he felt his body freezing again.
The boys turned towards Namjoon as they reached the stage and gestured Namjoon to accept the trophy from Khalid. He looked at them with disoriented expressions, but followed their wishes and headed towards Khalid to accept the award.
Khalid reached out his hand towards Namjoon for a hand shake, and Namjoon disorientedly accepted the handshake. “Congrats, man. You just made history” Khalid mumbled. Namjoon gave a small smile and replied. “Oh...thanks”
He then turned towards the audience and saw nothing but spotlights. He knew behind those lights were the biggest names in the Western music industry. His idols. So many people that inspired him to become what he was. And yet he felt numb. All the struggles, the heartache, the sacrifices, the injuries had brought him here. He had just accomplished the biggest dream he had. And yet he was numb.
Namjoon looked down at the trophy in his hand. The beautiful brass gramophone that glimmered under the stage light. He tried to breathe again and somewhat failed. Namjoon then looked around at his members all confusedly looking at one another. They were all emotional and disoriented. Internally wondering who would do the acceptance speech. Namjoon noticed Yoongi nodded between the small tears that were forming in his eyes and started heading towards the microphone to speak, as Yoongi wasn’t sure if Namjoon would be able to speak tonight.
Namjoon sighed and pulled himself together. He knew he had to do his job. He needed to be the one to speak first.
“Hyung, it’s okay I’ll do it.” Namjoon went up to Yoongi and softly whispered in his ears.
Yoongi turned to Namjoon with watery eyes. “Thank you.” Yoongi whispered back. That small thank you meant a lot more than the words themselves. The thank you meant that Yoongi knew how hard this night was for Namjoon and he would always be grateful Namjoon still decided to attend. The small thank you meant Yoongi understood that Namjoon was sacrificing his own sense of sanity for the sake of the group. Again. The thank you meant Yoongi loved Namjoon and that the journey they had started together was now reaching another milestone. Namjoon understood all those things just by looking towards Yoongi.
Yoongi stepped aside and quickly wiped his tears. Namjoon positioned himself in front of the microphone.
He stood there for a few short moments that felt like far too long. Tears were also pouring from his eyes, but he hadn’t noticed.
“ARMY…” Namjoon called out. His voice came out louder than he had anticipated. He had no idea where this burst of energy came from. But just calling out ARMYs name suddenly catalyzed a wave of adrenaline within him. His emotions were all over the place, but he suddenly felt all the feelings that his body had repressed the whole night and he noticed a small tear rolled down his face. His eyes were glittery under the spotlight. He was somewhere between, proud, angry, and happy and he wasn’t sure what was about to come out of his mouth.
“I have something to say….” He paused. Trying to take a deep breath before speaking. He wanted to say something else, but instead he changed his mind last second. A mask was sealed to his face and he had no energy to take off that mask right now.
“We did it. We finally did it. Your love and our music won today. Your faith and our lyrics won today. Congratulations, ARMY. Congratulations to each and everyone one of you that has supported us throughout our journey to this stage. Congratulations to my members. The greatest friends, brothers, collaborators, and artists that I have ever come to know and will ever come to know. I will forever be grateful for you. Your dream came true today. Our dream became a reality, so congrats.
Congratulations to the people in our lives that have given their everything to let us shine tonight. Our staff, our directors and producers, our stylists and most of all our families. Congratulations to our families. Our families that allowed us to pursue our dreams and have always supported us from near and far. Congratulations you won.” Namjoon paused for a moment before continuing. He needed to breathe.
“You know, this trophy is a perfect representation of BTS. Gramophones amplify sounds so you can hear the music. Our 7 quiet voices were amplified and spread across the world by our gramophones, called ARMY. Our words about Youth, Happiness, and Love were spread across almost all corners of the world. The biggest irony is that up until recently, we had pretty much sacrificed our own youth, happiness, and love so that we could have our voice be heard. So that we could speak ourselves. We had been taught to believe that if we want to be somebody we needed to give up our youth, love, happiness. But then we thought what if there was a way to have both? What if we could use our happiness, our youth, our love to speak up for people that can’t? What if instead of sacrificing those things we can use them to our advantage? And so we did. However, we forgot that even that comes with a price. As we always say, the brighter the light, the darker the shadow. And as much as I love the nights and consider myself a moonchild, I was not prepared for the shadows that are lurking in our life tonight. So tonight, with this exquisite, priceless, award in my hand. I ask that you pray for me. Please pray that the risk we took doesn’t hurt those we love. That the shadows don’t engulf the joy that we have gathered so far. And as always we continue soaring whether it’s night or day together.”
“ Thank you to recording academy for choosing us as a valuable asset to the industry, we hope our voices will encourage others who have been afraid to speak up till now. Thank you...” Namjoon gave a slight bow, and turned towards his members.
The members engulfed him in a hug. This was a different type of group hug. The boys were surrounding Namjoon and he had his arms as wide as he could, trying to hug all of them. Trying to ease his pain through the warmth of his members’ arms.
The GRAMMY win would always remain a joyous, but painful memory.
2 Hours Later
As soon as the awards ended and the press related events were over, Namjoon came back stage immediately went to Manager Sejin to ask about Maya.
“Did they find her?” He asked with a desperate tone.
Manager Sejin looked towards the ground and shook his head. “No. I think maybe we should go back”
Namjoon bit his lip in disappointment. “...We should.”
“I have informed Maya’s family. Her parents said they will in the flight after us.” Manager Sejin suddenly added.
“Her parents?” Namjoon asked.
“Yeah, they had no idea until now. We felt like it was important.”
Namjoon had only seen Maya’s parents through FaceTime twice. First time he had met them when she had told them about the campaign and dating Namjoon. It was only a few days after the press conference and their first night together. The second time Namjoon had seen them was when he had came to Maya’s apartment and she was talking to them about submitting the final draft of the book on FaceTime. Both times they seemed happy and excited to see him. But Namjoon never really knew whether they liked him or not. And now he was certain they never would.
Namjoon sighed. “Yeah, I understand.”
Namjoon changed out of his suit and packed some things he had brought to the venue. The staff would bring the rest of his luggage later.
Just as he finished packing, the other members came back to his dressing room.
“Hyung...I am so sorry…” Taehyung came forward, enveloping his arms around Namjoon.
Namjoon didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say. He was still figuring out what was happening. The members realized this was the extent of a reaction they would get from Namjoon, so they looked at each other in defeat.
“Let us know when you land.” Seokjin said.
“I will…” Namjoon responded.
Namjoon then quickly left the venue with Manager Sejin and security guards to catch a flight back to Seoul. The staff did book a jet plane but weren’t able to reserve a private entrance at such last minute, therefore Namjoon had to take the public entrance. As soon as he went to the airport a crowd of journalists and reporters surrounded him and the security guards. The news had gotten out that Maya wasn’t sick, and was instead missing. It had circulated the American and Korean media and now there was no going back.
“We heard Maya Shroff is missing. Do you know where she is? How are you feeling right now? Your biggest win tonight is spoiled by this news. Are you upset? Tell us, what is happening? Is she in danger? Do you think something happened to her? What will you do after heading to Korea? Do you know who is responsible for this? Is this a kidnapping case?” The voices of the journalists and reporters around him seared through his soul. He was in the midst of his worst nightmare and these voices were gnawing at his existence.
Namjoon tried to gently pushed through the crowd, even though majority of him wanted to just fall to the ground and breakdown crying. A weird sense of numbness had consumed Namjoon throughout the night. A sense of helplessness that was almost protecting him from thinking too much about his current situation.
Namjoon didn’t answer their questions. He silently got through the crowd and made his way to the security area. After the security screening he went to board the plane and eventually settled into his seat right next to Manager Sejin.
“She will be alright, try to breathe…” Manager Sejin said after the seatbelt sign turned off as the plane had reached above 10,000 ft.
“I know she is not fine. I am certain she is not fine.” Namjoon abruptly responded.
“How do you know?” Manager Sejin asked.
Namjoon looked down at his lap. “I just know.”
4 Hours Before —Unidentified Location
Maya slowly opened her eyes, her eyelids were still heavy and there was sharp pain in her head. Her vision was a bit blurry but she noticed she was in a completely dark room. There was one flickering light bulb above her chair but that was it. She then noticed there was a cloth tied around her mouth. And when she tried to take it off she realized her hands were also tied together and then to the chair. It was happening. It was really happening. No. No. No this can’t be true. This was a dream. This can’t be happening.
She couldn’t remember how she got here. She couldn’t remember what had happened. All she remembered was that she was talking to Namjoon on the phone and Han Bi had gone out to get the pizza from the delivery guy. How long had she been here? Who brought her here?
She tried to remember. She shut her eyes trying to think but her head was hurting to much. Her body was aching. She felt like her entire body was bruised. Her legs, and arms were sore. Her neck was in so much pain. She couldn’t remember and she had no energy to remember.
It was all coming true. Everything she had been worried about these past few months was coming true.
“I am sorry, Joon. I am so sorry.” she thought to herself.
Fateful Visions | Ch.28: Prime Example of Soulmates
Namjoon x Reader (OC)
Summary: Idol Namjoon meets a grad student, Maya, but he experiences strange visions each time their eyes meet and they touch one another. Fate plays a magnetic role, & keeps bringing them together. Are these visions a sign that they should stay away or stay together?
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Previous Part: Chapter Twenty Seven
Next Part: Chapter Twenty Nine
30 Minutes Before the GRAMMYs Red Carpet
Namjoon’s head was spinning. His breaths unsteady. He could hear a sharp high-pitched tone in his head that he wasn’t sure where it was coming from. Everything around him was becoming blurry. He saw an outline of a person standing in front of him, but he didn’t know who it was? Was it Manager Sejin? Or someone else? He realized he was still holding his phone to his ear. He could hear the person on the phone calling out his name.
“Namjoon-ah? Namjoon-ah? Namjoon-ah, are you there?” the person half-shouted.
“Hmm…” Namjoon managed to mutter, finally coming back to reality, and wiping the tears that had gathered in the corner of his eyes, which were making his vision blurry. The high-pitched sound was still there, but his vision cleared up to see that Manager Sejin had put his hand on Namjoon’s shoulder.
“She is not at her apartment. She is not at my house or at Junmyeon’s. She is not here...what if..what if they took her? Anyways, I am going with Baekhyun to go look for her. Junmyeon is already with the police. I am so sorry Namjoon. I am so so sorry…” the person said on the phone. Namjoon remembered again who he was talking to. It was Han Bi. He was talking to Han Bi. She was telling him about Maya. Maya was missing. She was gone and no one knew where she was. Namjoon found himself hanging up. He knew Han Bi was still talking, but he just didn’t have it in him to listen right now.
Namjoon tried to comprehend the situation, but it felt like his entire body and brain were shutting down. He tried to orient himself back to his present. He needed the high-pitched sound to stop. He reminded himself that he was backstage at the GRAMMYs. They were supposed to leave for the red carpet soon, but his date for the night wasn’t here. Maya wasn’t here. The members were getting ready and he had just called Han Bi to ask where Maya was since he overheard the staff talking about how Maya never came to the airport for her flight to U.S. She was supposed to come a few days after BTS, since she was still on the promotional tour for her book. But she didn’t.
Han Bi admitted she didn’t know where Maya was. She and Junmyeon were looking.
Namjoon was trying to breath, but there just didn’t seem like there was any oxygen in the room. He was dumbfounded. All he knew was that tonight was supposed to be the best night of his life and it suddenly had become his worst nightmare.
Flashback: 3 Months Before
After the surprising news about the GRAMMY nomination, BTS began preparing for their trip to America. A dream was becoming a reality and every member’s heart was more than full of excitement. Meanwhile, Maya’s book was coming along well too. She was in her final stages of editing and was working tirelessly to hand in her final draft as soon as possible.
One evening, Maya had just finished working for the day and Namjoon had just texted her about finishing up his practice. The two decided to meet at a cafe near Maya’s apartment. It was a cool December evening and Maya was desperately craving hot chocolate. She put on her coat and her mask and decided to make her way to the cafe. Of course, the security guards followed her like her shadow as she walked to the coffee shop. When she arrived at the cafe she looked around on the street to see if Namjoon was nearby. She didn’t see anyone so she decided to wait inside. As she opened the door and looked across the cafe she realized Namjoon was already inside, waiting for their drinks.
A smile appeared on Maya’s face as she quickly went up to him grabbing his arm. Namjoon was caught of guard for a second when he suddenly felt Maya’s soft hands suddenly grab on to his arm. He hadn’t seen her walk in at all.
“Oh, hey there!” Namjoon said, as he lifted his arm putting it around Maya’s waist.
“How did you get here so fast?” Maya replied.
Namjoon laughed. “Magic! Perhaps along with telepathy, what if I also have the power to teleport to you?! Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
Maya nodded her head and smiled. “That would be handy wouldn’t it? All I would have to do is whisper your name, and BAAM! You’d appear in front of me.”
“I think you’d have way too much fun with that power.” Namjoon laughed again.
Just then the barista called Namjoon’s name and he went to pick up 2 drinks and came back. He handed Maya her cup. The cup had a lid on it, so Maya didn’t know what was inside.
“Oh, thank you! I was kinda craving hot chocolate, but I guess coffee will do too. It’s just so cold outside today, it feels good to drink something warm” Maya gave a grateful smile, and took the cup into her hands with both hands.
Namjoon snickered again in response instead of saying anything.
“What? What happened?” Maya asked.
“Nothing...just try your drink.” Namjoon responded.
Maya looked at Namjoon with confusion and then gently took a sip of her drink. She had anticipated the bitter taste of Americano, but instead she tasted the sweet and rich taste of hot chocolate.
A shy smile emerged on Maya’s face as she looked up at Namjoon. “How’d you know I wanted hot chocolate?” She asked with glittery eyes.
Namjoon could feel his heart become warm from Maya’s expressions. He couldn’t help but smile and reply “Did you forget we are supposedly the prime examples of soulmate, my love?”
Maya’s cheeks turned red and she looked away. “True, true..anyways, what’s the plan for tonight?”
“Did you finish you work?” Namjoon asked.
“Yeah I just finished before I came. What about you? Do you have to go to the studio?”
Namjoon sighed. “Yep, I have to go work on a song. ”
“Aww, it’s okay. Maybe we’ll hang out some other time” Maya said trying not to sound disappointed, but failing to hide her true feelings. She missed hanging out with Namjoon and recently, due to their schedules, it was hard to find a time that worked with both of them.
“Actually, I was hoping you could come with me...” Namjoon responded as he took a sip of his coffee.
“Oh...are you sure? I don’t wanna be a distraction.”
“I promise I’ll be good and concentrate on my work. I just have something to show you and I have something to ask you. Both of those things require you to come to my studio.” Namjoon responded.
“Hmmm...okay, but I don’t want to stay too long because I know you won’t have time to work on music when you go to U.S. for the awards.” Maya replied with a huge smile. Every time Maya mentioned the GRAMMYs, a huge smile appeared on both of their faces. For Namjoon it still felt like some dream that they were even attending the ceremony.
Namjoon and Maya began walking towards Namjoon’s car.
“I know. Thanks for understanding. One day when you win the Pulitzer prize for your novel I’ll try to make this up to you.” Namjoon replied while he put on his face mask, hiding his huge smile as he looked over at Maya.
“Pssh...this is your moment, Joon. Don’t even try to bring me into this!” Maya responded laughing and nudging Namjoon with her elbow, the cold air seeping into her lungs as they walked outside, making her breaths visible while she spoke. She quickly took out her mask and put it on as they both walked along the sidewalk towards the car. “Besides, my book isn't’ even out yet. I just hope people even read it.” Maya added as an afterthought.
“Oh please, this is just your nervousness speaking! We all know your writing is incredible. There is a reason why your book is one of the most anticipated releases of the year, love.” Namjoon put his hand around Maya’s shoulder, pulling her closer to him.
“Well, whatever the result may be, I am glad I am almost finished. I can’t wait for you to read it.” Maya exclaimed as they reached the car. Namjoon opened the passenger door for Maya, as per their old tradition. Maya smiled and sat inside.
“Yes! You have to admit I have been very patient and I didn’t even sneak a look at your draft till now. I have no idea what your story is about. You could be writing about the most terrible things about me and I wouldn’t know.” Namjoon joked while settled into the driver’s seat.
“Well, now that you mention it I should let you know...” Maya paused and Namjoon gave her a wide eyed look. “I am just joking!” Maya continued and laughed.
“Ha ha, you are so funny!” Namjoon replied sarcastically.
“Everyone except you appreciates my sense of humor.” Maya retorted.
“Yes, because I have actual sense of humor.” Namjoon snapped back.
“Your sense of humor is nonsense.”
Namjoon gave Maya a squinted eye look. “You are lucky I am driving right now.”
“Well good thing I am not…” Maya whispered and leaned in towards Namjoon, giving him a small kiss on his cheek.
Namjoon became flustered and let out a huge smile, grabbing the steering wheel even more tightly to avoid his urge of kissing Maya back. The rest of the way to the studio they spent giggling and talking about their day.
Namjoon and Maya walked into the studio and Maya immediately pulled out 2 small pieces of candy from her pocket. She then held out her hand towards Namjoon.
“Here you go” she said.
“You are never gonna let it go are you?” Namjoon shook his head and smiled, taking one of the candies from Maya’s hand. He was referring to Maya’s promise years ago, that she would bring food for him every time she came to see him. She still kept her promise, just like Namjoon did earlier when he opened the car door for her.
“Never” Maya responded and shook her head.
Namjoon put the candy in his mouth and Maya did the same with the other piece. Then Namjoon sat down in his desk chair, and logged into his computer.
“So what did you want to show me?” Maya asked standing next to Namjoon’s chair.
Namjoon waited for the computer to finish loading. “Just give me a second. It’s in here.”
“Ooo, is it a song?” Maya asked excitedly.
Namjoon smiled and gave a slight nod. “Yep”
“Wow, you haven’t let me hear one of your songs in so long. This feels special.”
Namjoon didn’t respond, he just opened a file on his computer and pressed play. Music began playing through the speakers and Namjoon looked over at Maya. Maya smiled, widely her eyes sparkling like it had earlier when they were both at the cafe and she had looked at Namjoon. She gave him the same look. But as soon as she was starting to really savor the music, it came to a sudden stop.
Maya’s expressions changed from sheer joy to confusion. “Wait..that’s it?” Maya asked.
“Well... this is all I have right now. I am still working on it...I guess..” Namjoon sounded a bit defeated near the end. “..But what did you think?” He added the question.
“Joon, this is beautiful! I mean, the sound, the tone, the chords....it’s just so indescribably beautiful and there is so much soul to it! It’s like your inner voice took over when you made this track. I am not sure what you are struggling with?”
“I am struggling with words. I technically made this track a long time ago...actually, I made this when we weren’t together. At one point, I was so determined to write this song but so far I haven’t been able to complete this goal of mine. In fact, I had written so many different versions, but none of them felt right, so I just completely put this track aside. But now, I really have an urge to write this song. It’s like my goal again. Because there is a part of me that feels like this might be one of the best tracks I have ever made….”
“...And let me guess, you are afraid no matter what words you write, you feel they’ll never justify how much you love this song?” Maya finished Namjoon’s thought.
Namjoon sighed and nodded.
“I understand.” Maya put her hand on Namjoon’s shoulder, staring at the computer screen. “ It’s okay, though. You’ll find the words when it’s the right time, you know?”
“...Maya, I have a request for you” Namjoon suddenly blurted out.
Maya smiled and blinked, looking at him in confusion. What could he possibly ask? For some reason she felt like she had heard him say this before. Perhaps in a vision?
“What is it?” Maya asked. She took her hand away from Namjoon’s shoulder and he turned his chair to face her.
“Umm...well, I know I have asked this before and you declined, but I’ll just ask this again, in case you changed your mind.”
“Okay, you are just worrying me now. When have I ever refused to do something for you?” Maya joked, forgetting an instance when she had actually refused him in the past.
“Will you work on this song with me? I feel like it would be great if we worked on this song together...”
Maya was stunned by Namjoon’s sudden question. Her expressions were unreadable. At first Maya didn’t respond. It was like she was deliberating a big life choice or something. Namjoon waited for a moment for her to respond, and when she didn’t he felt like he needed to build more support for his case.
“Look, it’s not that I need your words to complete this song. I am sure, as you said, if I tried hard enough I can accomplish my goal of completing this song. But the thing is, when I envision fulfilling this goal of writing this song myself, I am not as happy as I am when I remember writing Euphoria with you. And, honestly, I would rather have my favorite track with your name on it or not work on this track at all...” Namjoon paused, waiting for Maya’s response. But instead Maya pursed her lips and gave him even a more puzzled look. Therefore, Namjoon continued his plea.
“Besides, you’ve essentially co-written Serendipity and Euphoria and your other pieces have shaped some of my other songs. Plus you worked with freaking SM! So, I don’t understand why you are so afraid to work with me on a song...Also...” Namjoon’s voice sounded half-desperate and almost half-frustrated, his plea at this point was turning into a ramble. His voice came to a sudden stop when he suddenly saw tears in Maya’s eyes.
At first he thought it could’ve just been a glare, but when he looked closely, he clearly saw Maya’s eyes welling up.
“Maya...what...are you okay?” He got up from his chair and immediately embraced Maya in his arms. He was absolutely taken aback by her response. He had no idea what could have trigger such a reaction from Maya.
“It’s you...you are anonymous1921419…” she suddenly said against his chest, her words came out in mumbles.
Namjoon’s eyes suddenly widened when he comprehended Maya’s words. Maya slowly separated away from the hug so she could look at Namjoon.
“You are anonymous1921419, aren’t you? The one that sent me that message years ago on the blog?” Maya asked. Her eyes were still tearful and her breathing was slightly uneven.
Namjoon saw Maya’s expressions and bit his lip. He wasn’t sure whether he was in trouble or not. He then slowly nodded and looked down at his hands with guilty expressions.
Maya sighed, wiping the tear that escaped one of her eyes.
“Thank you...” She whispered and then paused. “...I guess...I guess I should have known it was you. My blog wasn’t that popular back then that anyone else would care about whether I post regularly or not.” Maya half-snickered between the tears and paused again, looking up at Namjoon. He also looked up, and opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted. “...Joon, you have no idea how much I needed that message that day.” She sighed again, “I was not in a good state...it’s...it’s like your message saved me.”
It suddenly hit Namjoon how Maya had figured out that the anonymous message was from him. It hit him that he had referenced the poem he had mentioned in that message. He internally scolded himself for accidentally mentioning it indirectly. He had wanted it to remain a mystery. But alas, the cat was out of the bag, and he was sure Maya was disappointed. He thought it was far less interesting than Maya probably had hoped. It was just him that had written that message. Maya’s secret number 1 fanboy.
“You are disappointed it’s me, aren’t you? You probably had hoped it was some mysterious reader you’d come across at one of your book signing, didn’t you?” Namjoon mumbled as he wiped the leftover moisture on Maya’s cheeks from the tear that escaped earlier, and then gently put his hands on her shoulder, trying to avoid eye contact.
Maya shook her head. She wanted to say more, but was deep in thought as she remembered the day in the bathroom years ago, when she had received the message.
“...I meant what I said though. I really did. I was so broken and guilty for not facing you when we broke up. I was desperately missing you. So desperately that I would check your blog every few hours, refreshing the page, hoping you would update, and when you didn’t...I had started to become terrified. I was afraid you had given up on the blog. And then one day something inside of me just made me type up that message.” Namjoon paused and shook his head in embarrassment. “ It was childish, probably, but I felt like it was my way of facing you. I remember when you had posted your piece after I sent that message, and it was like a miracle to me. In these past years, your blog was my connection to you. I am not sure you have any idea how much your writing means to me”
“Well...you were right. I had given up. It’s a long story, but let’s just say that message is the reason I am here, as a writer.” Maya was referring to her breakdown in the bathroom. A moment in her life she never wanted to mention to Namjoon. Little did she know that that scene was in one of Namjoon’s vision and had still haunted Namjoon every now and then. He didn’t know that scene he had seen in the vision had already happened. He had no idea his message had prevented her from falling deeper into that negative headspace after that scene. Namjoon was feeling guilty, but Maya was indescribably grateful to find out it was him that had sent the message.
“I am also the reason you had given up in the first place. You were probably so hurt and broken. I can’t even imagine...” Namjoon looked away in almost shame. He was far too guilty at this point. It’s like he had accidentally opened up an old wound for both of them, but he wasn’t sure how to close it. Fortunately, Maya did.
“I was. But I think that phase was what gave me confidence to do what we are doing now. Facing the world like this... Look at us, Joon. You are nominated for a freaking GRAMMY and I am finally almost done with my novel. I wouldn’t even have dreamt of this back then. But we are here, because somehow we found the ounce of hope to keep us going. One good thing in a pile of terrible circumstances. Looking back, I don’t think I wouldn’t change any of it. It was terribly painful, but absolutely necessary for us. The best way to know if something is right for you is to envision how you would feel with that thing in your life and then…”Maya’s thought was interrupted.
“...and then imagining how you would feel without it. We have experienced both. And I never want to do that again.” Namjoon completed Maya’s thought and put his arms around her waist again.
Maya nodded in approval and laughed at Namjoon’s ability to guess her thoughts, which were referring to the poem he had mentioned in the message. Prime examples of soulmates.
“And to answer your earlier question…” Maya suddenly changed the topic and Namjoon froze in anticipation. “Let’s do it.” She said with enthusiasm.
Namjoon’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really?” He asked for confirmation.
“Yes..I mean I wouldn’t have minded collaborating either ways, but if having my name on the song means that much to you, then sure, why not. ” Maya laughed.
Namjoon was excited but also confused. “So then, how come you said no before?” Namjoon questioned. This was really bothering him.
“Joon, I don’t know why you are thinking so hard about this. I worked in SM for money, just money. I needed that money to keep my blog going and be able to finish my novel. But working with you has been different since day one…. I worked on Euphoria with you out of just pure love and joy. Even Serendipity, it was never because I wanted credit. Writing songs with you, means a lot to me. It’s part of our love story. I don’t need my name or money for that.” Maya took a step forward, and leaned her head against Namjoon’s chest. “ When I see your name, I don’t feel different than seeing my own... RM, Namjoon, and Maya are no different in my eyes. I just didn’t see the point of separating our entities... And that’s why I have kept refusing so far. But if having my name means so much to you, then we can do it that way. Okay?”
Namjoon swallowed sharply. He was speechless. He had truly undervalued his relationship with Maya. Maybe, Maya was right, separating their entities was unnecessary when almost their entire beings were so similar. His success was Maya’s at this point, and Maya’s success was his own. So what difference did it make whether Maya or Namjoon’s name was on a song. The song would always belong to both of them. Yet, Namjoon had a sudden idea.
“How about this...What if— what if we created our own studio name?” Namjoon suggested.
“A what?”
“For example, every time I work on a song the credits say RKive, or if Yoongi hyung makes a song it’s Genius Lab, so what if we created our own name? Everytime you help me, we can use that name.”
Maya nodded and smiled. Her eyes lit up. “Okay, let’s do it. But what would it be called?”
“Wan Blue Sounds” Namjoon pitched the idea quite casually. As he sat down in his chair. He knew Maya would like the name as much as he did. He didn’t even need a second thought.
Maya became excited and as Namjoon expected. She agreed. “YES! That’s...that’s PERFECT! I mean this absolutely perfect.” She stared at Namjoon as he opened up a blank page on his computer.
“Alright then, we are gonna write our first song as Wan Blue Sounds” he said.
And they did. Wan Blue Sounds officially wrote a whole song that night. But that song wouldn’t be released for a very, very long time. At one point during that night, Maya even wondered, if it would be released at all. A sad smile spread across her face at that thought.
3 Weeks Before the GRAMMYs
In the next few months, Namjoon’s and Maya’s life remained busy. Maya submitted her final draft of her novel, while Namjoon and the rest of BTS members began counting down the days till the award show. Maya was supposed to go to GRAMMYs with Namjoon. It was decided by BigHit and the boys that she would walk the red carpet alongside them. Why? Well, because the album that was nominated was part of the Huempathy campaign. America loved Maya and Namjoon’s relationship. Most of the world was rooting for them. Most.
It was decided that after the GRAMMYs, the rest of the members would also start revealing their relationships, if they wanted. However, some members’ stories were a bit more complicated than others. None of them were sure they were ready to go public just yet. Nonetheless, Namjoon was excited that he was going to be able to share this moment with not only the members, but also with Maya. Maya was so thrilled to be Namjoon’s date for the biggest day of his life.
BigHit staff began arranging the details, including things like outfits for the GRAMMYs and the itinerary while they would be in America. However, only 3 weeks before the award show, Maya heard from the publishers that she would have to go to a book promotional event in Dajejeon, 3 days before the GRAMMYs. Therefore, she wouldn’t be able to take the same flight as the boys and instead she would take a flight the day after the boys leave and would just meet them before the red carpet for the GRAMMYs.
It was annoying, but Namjoon was determined to still make the most of this trip. In fact, after the award show, Namjoon was planning to surprise Maya with a flight tickets to Bali, just so the the two could finally spend some time together. He knew Maya wanted to go there for a long time and it was one of the few places he still had not been to either. It would be perfect. They would finally get to breathe, away from their work and the media.
2 Weeks Before the GRAMMYs
Two weeks before GRAMMYs, Maya’s novel was finally released. After years of working, her novel Wan Blue Night had become a reality. This was Maya’s moment. However, something suddenly started changing.
Maya was supposed to have a book launch and a fan signing event at a library in Seoul the day the book was released, but 2 days before the event, Maya called the publishing company and asked them to cancel the event. The company was shocked. They had prepared for this book launch for months and the tickets to the event had been sold out. Despite that, Maya refused to go for a sudden and unknown reason. Instead she had a Youtube Live event she held from her living room and asked the publishing company to refund money for those that bought the tickets. She also tried to cancel the event in Dajejeon, but wasn’t able to because it would have been too expensive for Violet Inc, her publishing company to cancel such a big event.
Even Namjoon was surprised when he found out that Maya was not having a book launch. Why would she ever cancel the biggest day of her life? He found out about it the morning of the book release, and he immediately called Maya.
“Hello—” Maya was preparing for her virtual live event in her living room, trying to look at least somewhat presentable for her audience.
“Maya what is going on?” Namjoon asked. His tone was filled with worry and confusion.
“What do you mean?” She asked even though she knew exactly what Namjoon was referring to.
“Why did you cancel the book launch? This is your biggest day…” Namjoon asked. He was getting his makeup done for some CF shooting.
“I just...I just didn’t feel well today...but don’t worry I am having a virtual event.” She defended herself.
“Wait what? You are not feeling well and you didn’t tell me? I’ll be over as soon as I finish this shooting…”
“No, no no! It’s okay. I am fine, really. That’s totally unnecessary.” Maya sounded frazzled even though her intention was to sound well-put together.
“Maya, it wasn’t really a choice. I am coming over after the shooting. Besides, I was going to come see you at the book launch, but now that you cancelled it, I’ll see you at your apartment. I mean you must be really ill if you are cancelling the biggest day of your— ” Namjoon was interrupted.
“It’s— it’s not that big of a deal. I’ll..I’ll be going to the other venues for the book tour anyways….” Maya retorted.
“Okay, seriously what’s going on, Maya? You know you can tell me absolutely anything...” Namjoon could sense something was up behind Maya’s strange behavior.
“Nothing is up, really! I told you, I am just not feeling well so I decided it would be better if I did a virtual event rather than getting everyone else sick with me. And in fact, I think you should stay away from me too so you don’t get sick…”
“As if that’s gonna stop me from coming to see you…” Namjoon rolled his eyes and smirked. The stylist was working on his hair at this point. “...Listen if you don’t want to tell me the real reason right now, you’ll have to tell me later. I am really confused Maya. There has to be a reason behind this and I don’t think you are the type of person to cancel something this big over something minor.” Just then the staff member called Namjoon for his scene in the CF. “...I have to go. I’ll come see you soon. I love you.” Namjoon rambled quickly.
“--I love you too.” Maya quickly responded. She then heard the phone call end. “--A lot. I love you so much, Joon.” Maya added, knowing that Namjoon wouldn’t hear it. She sighed, taking her phone away from her ear and holding it by her chest for a moment. Then she went back to prepare for her youtube live she was about to start.
As soon as the live ended and Maya put her computer away, she heard a knock on the door. She panicked. She knew it had to be Namjoon. But to be honest, she wasn’t ready to see him. What would she tell him? How would she explain anything? She hadn’t even had a chance to come up with a reason why she had to cancel her event today.
Nevertheless, she went and opened the door, finding her tall boyfriend with his endless legs leaning against the frame of the door with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a familiar looking book in the other. The book was of course, a copy of Wan Blue Night. But Maya’s attention was on Namjoon’s face. She gulped when she saw his skeptical expressions and somewhat concerned smile. Namjoon immediately enveloped his arms around Maya with the flowers and book still in his hands and simultaneously walked forward, forcing Maya to walk backwards along with him. Maya closed the door behind her.
“I feel stupid…” Namjoon suddenly said, with his disappointed voice.
“Why?” Maya asked her face was pressed against Namjoon’s chest and her heart was racing for multiple different reasons. One of them being just that.
“I didn’t even say the main thing I was supposed to say on the phone…” Namjoon replied.
This made Maya panic even more. What could he have possibly forgotten to say to her? He had even said ‘I love you’, which he was always sure to end all of their conversations with.
“I don’t think you forgot anything.” Maya said.
“Yes I did.I am so terrible. I didn’t even say congratulations for finally publishing Wan Blue Night! You are finally a full-blown author and I didn’t even tell you how proud I am of you or how incredible you are to fulfill your dream and how amazing this achievement is and how you are an inspiration to so many people out there, one of them being me, and how you and your existence is like finding a diamond in a pile of igneous rocks and I am so incredibly lucky....”
“...Okay, okay, okay...I get it!” Maya stopped him from continuing his verbal persuasive essay. She knew he could probably go on for another few hours if she didn’t. “...You know I already know those things…” Maya shyly admitted. She had never for a single moment doubted Namjoon’s faith and pride in her ability. Especially not after finding out about the anonymous message.
“Yeah, but this is your day! We’ve been waiting for this for so long! Aren’t you excited” He gently kissed Maya’s forehead. “Maya, you finally did it! I am just so happy. I feel like I am floating.” Namjoon responded enthusiastically. He felt the same way he had felt after BTS had completed their first tour. A feeling of just immense joy. And although, this book was written by Maya, he felt just as invested in it.
Maya was also extremely proud and happy, but for some reason she wasn’t able to return the same enthusiasm. “Me too. All those words in my head are now permanently sealed on those pages. It’s insane how my thoughts are now being read by so many people!” Maya replied.
“And I can’t wait to read it! I have waited for years to read these words. I can’t believe I am holding this in my hand right now.” Namjoon said as he let go of Maya and looked closely at the book in his hand. The cover was expectedly in wan blue and the writing was in black. Namjoon stared at Maya’s name on the cover and bit his lip as he could feel himself becoming slightly emotional. He had seen drafts of the cover before, but holding the copy in his hand was just a completely different feeling.
“Wan Blue Night by Maya Shroff.” Namjoon read the cover as he smiled and looked up at Maya. He was finally able to look into her eyes, since they weren’t touching. Maya shyly smiled. Truthfully, she had not fully processed the fact that this book was finally complete.
“Alright, first things first, I need your autograph in this copy right here.” Namjoon announced as he put down the bouquet of flowers in his hand on the chair next to him, and began searching for a pen around her living room. He saw one laying on the coffee table, so he picked it up and came back to give it to Maya.
“Wait a minute, didn’t you receive the copies of the book I sent you? I sent one for all of BTS and I had told my manager to make sure they were one of those signed ones…”
Namjoon giggled. “I did get them. And I made sure that all the members got their copies too. But I just went and bought another one today. Not as your boyfriend, but as your fan. And it would be amazing if you could sign this one.” He turned the book the first page and held out the book and pen.
“Joon…” Maya said suspiciously.
“Hmm?” Namjoon responded.
“Have you looked through the book yet?” Maya asked.
“No, not yet. I wanted to wait till it was released. You know, just like everyone else…” Namjoon said proudly. He was proud that he didn’t cave in and spoil the book for himself earlier. He was quite tempted throughout this process but he made sure to keep his control.
Maya laughed. “Well, you should look through it and then if you want I can sign it.”
Namjoon gave her a confused look but then began looking through the pages. Maya eventually got tired and decided she would find the page that she wanted him to look at for him. She handed him the book once she found the page.
It was the acknowledgements section.
Acknowledgements
Thank you to my family, who I have held close to my heart, despite being away from home. Please consider this book as the love I have always wished I had the opportunity to share with you. My brothers and sisters, I know I never say this but I am proud of each and every one of you. Mom and Dad, thank you for letting me have the freedom and love to fly across the world and fulfill my dreams. Without this freedom, I would have never been able to do the things I do.
Thank you to my mentor, Dr.Kelly, who not only taught me everything I know about writing fiction, but also inadvertently brought me across the concept of this book, my greatest source of happiness, and the world that encapsulates quite a lot of who I am today. If only you knew, how your small event in Arkansas would drastically change my life. All I can say is thank you.
Thank you to my best friends, Junmyeon Oppa and Han Bi. Our Thursday nights at the convenient store have always been the cornerstone of my writing routine. But more than those nights, the unconditional love and support I have received from both of you in these last few years is not something ordinary friends can do. I am forever indebted by your kindness and I hope you know this book would have never been completed without your help.
Thank you to each and every member of BTS. I consider you as my family in Korea. We began by being friends, but no, you are my family now. Seokjin Oppa, I feel like in this lifetime I might not win any dad joke battles with you but I assure you in the next one, I will win. Yoongi Oppa, your wisdom always fascinates me and I have tried to implement that in this story. I’ll still never understand why you write your ideas on post-it notes instead of a notebook, but that’s a conversation for another time. Hoseok Oppa, thank you for teaching me how to drive here in Korea. Not sure when I’ll buy a car, but if I did, I would definitely take us all out for dinner. Jimin, I hope I can learn to be as compassionate as you are. A trait that is truly what binds our Bangtan family together. Taehyung, you always share your precious drawings and writings with me and I hold those very dearly. Please consider this book as just a small token of friendship. Finally, Jungkook, in the years that I have known you, you’ve grown into such an incredible person. Please continue to capture those precious moments with your hyungs. Seeing them through your eyes fills my heart with pure joy.
I would finally like to thank Joon (aka RM of BTS or anonymous1921419). I am sure my soul has travelled at least a few thousand years or maybe more and went through a million different physical bodies to find this one that I am in right now and so that I can find you. There is no scientific or spiritual explanation for the depth of my feelings for you and I doubt there ever be a fully accurate explanation of our connection. The world may see us as different from one another; perhaps even as incompatible due to our race, our language, our culture, but I can’t seem to see a single difference between us. The beginning of my entity and the end of yours is like one fluid wave with no gaps or cracks or boundaries. So when I say I thank you for giving me the title of this novel, for encouraging to start that blog, for reviving my spirit, for believing in me, and for everything in between, I am essentially thanking myself, I am thanking us, and thanking the universe for creating each and every atom and the vibration of each atom that forms you and me. So please exist, please live, please create, so that I can continue existing, living, and creating. Just know that in any dimension you exist, I’ll be there too, even if you can’t see me or hear me or feel me. I’ll be there, eternally and fearlessly in love with you, and in love with me, and in love with us. I hope in some dimension I get to spend every Wan Blue Night with you.
As Namjoon finished reading the last sentence he felt moisture on his face. He hadn’t noticed that he was crying till then. He immediately wiped the tear and looked at Maya. He was speechless. For the first time, it felt like he had no words to describe how he felt. So, he slowly leaned in towards Maya, and kissed her lips. He wanted to feel the words that were written on that page through Maya and this felt like the only way. Maya closed her eyes, lifted her hands and gently caressed Namjoon’s cheeks with her fingertips, returning the kiss with the same fervor and intensity, trying to explain through her kiss, just how thankful she was to have him. Just how thankful she was for that moment. When their lips parted, Maya kept her eyes closed, trying to savor the moment a little longer.
She then heard Namjoon sigh, and she took it as a cue to open her eyes. He was holding the book tightly against his chest and staring right at Maya. He gulped trying to swallow all the emotions so he could talk.
“This is so unfair. You made me all emotional and now I can’t even think straight…” Namjoon admitted his speechlessness.
“I couldn’t fit everything I wanted to say. My editor made me cut out a lot of it…” Maya shook her head looking at the ground.
“You know you didn’t have to say any of it and I still would have known everything you wanted to say…”
“I know. But still, saying it is still important. We humans tend to remember things better when we say them with words.” Maya replied.
Namjoon held out the pen and opened the book back up to that page with the acknowledgements section, and handed it to Maya.
Maya shyly took the pen and signed the page, leaving a small heart next to her signature and wrote “please smile when you see this” in parenthesis at the bottom of the page. She then handed him back the book. “Here you go!”
Namjoon looked at the page and smiled, as requested by Maya. “Thank you...Oh and I have these for you…” Namjoon responded as he picked up the flowers that he had placed earlier on the chair and offered them to Maya with both hands.
Maya blushed and giggled, but accepted with both hands and bowed. “Thank you so much…these are beautiful, Joon...let me put them in a vase…” Maya started to walk towards the kitchen but Namjoon stopped her by holding her hand. “Wait…” he said.
Maya turned around and looked back at Namjoon’s hand lightly gripping hers. He let it go once he had her attention. “Don’t worry about the flowers right now...I just remembered, you still haven’t told me about what’s going on?” He was suddenly reminded that Maya had cancelled the biggest event of her career.
Maya gulped and faced Namjoon again, still having her eyes on the delicate petals of the roses she was holding.
“I don’t know...I just felt really anxious today. I couldn’t do it…” Maya replied vaguely.
Namjoon gave Maya a puzzled look. For the past few months, there were moments when Namjoon just couldn’t understand why Maya acted a certain way. She would often say and do things that were so unlike her. He convinced himself that maybe Maya had just changed. Maybe she was just different than the Maya he had met years ago. Either ways, he knew he still loved her and he’d do anything for her.
“I just don’t understand, love. Are you afraid people won’t like the book?” he was trying to understand what could be the reason for Maya’s sudden anxiety.
Maya thought for a second, debating what to answer. Should she accept that question as her excuse?
She pursed her lips and then responded. “Yeah, I am just scared what if they don’t like the book...People had been waiting for this book for years, what if they didn’t like it? I just freaked out and cancelled it...I know it’s terrible but it just happened that way…”
Namjoon was surprised to hear this because only a couple weeks ago Maya was beyond excited for the novel to be released. She was certain that people would like it. He reasoned that maybe last minute her morale had depleted due to nervousness? Maybe she just panicked last second? He felt slightly bad for bothering her about this. Maybe she just needed his unconditional support.
“My love, I can’t believe you are doubting yourself like this...I mean I know I haven’t read the book, but I am certain there is absolutely no reason for you to be worrying. I have seen the early reviews of the book and it seems like everyone is raving about it! Even I have had people from the company tell me how much they love your book. See…” Namjoon pulled out his phone from his pocket and showed Maya messages of his staff members complimenting Maya and wishing for Maya’s success. “In fact, I have not read a single bad review...and I just checked this morning! So don’t worry, okay?” Namjoon explained. Namjoon knew how much this meant for Maya’s career and he had been monitoring the SNS pages and book store sites like he monitored when BTS would release an album. To him, it was just like he was releasing his own music. He wanted absolute best for Maya.
Maya knew all this. She knew her book was doing well and that her cancelling this book event was probably a terrible decision. But she had to.
“Yeah, maybe so. I just got scared and I acted impulsively. But don’t worry, it seemed like people liked the virtual event. They wanted me to do more of those…” Maya tried to smile, just so that the conversation would become lighter.
Namjoon nodded. “You should! It’s a great way to keep in touch with readers and it might peak more interest from people since not that many authors are as active on social media.”
“Yeah I’ll do that…. Anyways, are you excited? 14 days left!” Maya conveniently tried to change the topic to the award show.
“I am! But today, I don’t want to talk about me. It’s your day! We need to celebrate! Where do you want to go?” Namjoon was filled with enthusiasm.
Maya thought for a second. She wasn’t sure she wanted to go anywhere, but she knew that if she tried to resist Namjoon’s offer, it would only raise more questions. So instead, she thought it was best if she chose the place where they could go together.
“I have a place in mind…” Maya replied.
“Really? Where? We can go wherever you want to go.” Namjoon assured.
“Okay, well, do you think we can go hiking at the park where we went for our first date?” Maya asked in a soft voice.
A huge smile spread across Namjoon’s face. “Of course, we can! I can’t believe you still remember…” he admitted shyly.
“Of course I remember, that was one of the best days of my life.” Maya began reflecting back on the first time she and Namjoon went out together.
“--Well, we are going to have a lot of best days together, but after today I will make sure this also becomes one of the many many best days of your life.” Namjoon insisted.
And Namjoon was right. The two went on a hike, and it did indeed become one of the best days that Maya would have for a long time.
While driving back from the park, Namjoon told Maya about his schedule for the next 2 weeks. “So, I don’t want to ruin the mood, but I am actually not sure if I’ll get to see you before the GRAMMYs…” Namjoon suddenly said.
“Oh I see... Did you have something come up?” Maya asked. Her voice was slightly more somber at the thought of not being able to see Namjoon for a while.
“Well, we are shooting for an MV for the next couple of days, and then we have to shoot for a few RUN episodes that requires us to go to Suwon, and then by the time we come back, you’ll be in Daejejon. So I am not sure when we can meet up…” Namjoon explained.
“Hmmm, I see...it’s okay, we’ll just facetime each other like we always do. It’s no big deal! I am just grateful I was able to spend this day with you. It was amazing, Joon.” Maya replied.
“Yeah it was pretty awesome! And I am sure we’ll have a lot more when we come back. I think things will calm down a lot more once we return from America.” Namjoon agreed.
Maya let out a small sigh. “I really hope so. I could really use some calmness.” At this point they had reached Maya’s apartment.
Namjoon looked over at Maya after he parked the car. She was facing the passenger side window, and her face had a tinge of sadness, but Namjoon wasn’t sure why. He assumed it was because he had told her he wasn’t going to be able to see her for a while.
“Hey, did I make you upset?” Namjoon asked.
“What? No, of course not! I was just thinking about how happy I am right now.” Maya looked over at Namjoon as she spoke. Surprised by his question.
“Me too. I feel like I am floating on some cloud. I can’t believe I am getting to have everything I could have ever imagined.”
“Yeah, same here.” Maya nodded.
“Good! Only happy thoughts!” Joon replied.
“Absolutely! By the way, I am helping Han Bi move to a different place after coming back from Dajejeon. I have a feeling her and Junmyeon Oppa might take their relationship public soon, and they might even get engaged soon”
“Oh wow! That’s amazing! I hope everything goes well for them. They really deserve it. How did you find out?” Namjoon agreed.
Maya laughed. “Junmyeon Oppa is not that sneaky. He asked me if I knew Han Bi’s ring size.”
“Wow, that’s not subtle at all.” Namjoon shook his head and laughed as well.
“Anyways, thought I would let you know in case I didn’t get a chance to tell you later and because we would both be away for a while.”
“Thanks for letting me know. I’ll keep this in mind when it’s our turn!” Namjoon joked. Taking Maya’s left hand into his hand and caressing her ring finger.
Maya immediately took her hand away from his hand, cringed, and jokingly hit his shoulder.
“Well, if you are done with cheesy lines, I should head inside.” Maya was quick to change the topic. She wondered, would there turn ever even come? Or is this all she would get in this lifetime?
“Are you really leaving that soon?” Namjoon whined. As he gently opened the car door to his side. Preparing to walk around to open Maya’s door.
“I wish I could stay, but you and I both know that we’ve already had our share of good times. Maybe this was all that we were meant to spend together. Let’s just count our blessings. Hmm?” Maya replied with a rather grim smile.
Namjoon felt chills down his spine at Maya’s sudden mood change. He wasn’t sure whether she was just talking about today or there time together in general?
“Woah, there is no need for this much seriousness! We’ll be facetiming and talking on the phone every single day. I won’t even let you miss me.” Namjoon reassured. He still assumed Maya was sad about not being able to see him for the next few weeks. He got out the car and walked around to the other side to open Maya’s door. She got out of the car as Namjoon opened the door and they both stood facing each other.
Maya nodded. “I know. I am not worried about it, really! I am sure you’ll have fun during your shootings and such, and soon you’ll be standing on that red carpet.” Maya’s smile return as she envisioned Namjoon and BTS at the GRAMMYs.
“You will too!” Namjoon added. “... I just want you to be safe, healthy, and happy till then. So please take care, okay?” he then continued as he wrapped his arms around Maya.
Maya snuggled up against his chest, her grip was tighter than usual. She closed her eyes, trying to savor the sweetness of this moment. Trying to ingrain this feeling of being in Namjoon’s arms inside her mind.
“I love you…” Namjoon whispered against Maya’s shoulder as he slowly let go.
“I love you too, Joon.” Maya sighed, as she let go of her grip and realized that the sweet moment had come to an end.
As Maya had told Namjoon, Maya came back from Dajejeon and immediately went to help Han Bi move to her new place. This was only 12 hours before her flight to New York for the GRAMMYs. After Han Bi was all moved in, Maya and her decided to have a girls night to help Maya calm down before the big trip.
Even though Maya was only tagging along with Namjoon for this function, she was quite nervous. This was first time her and Namjoon were attending the event together as a couple. And this was no ordinary event. This would be one of the biggest night of Namjoon’s career. Would she be able to represent him well?
“Has Namjoon called you after they landed?” Han Bi asked. Maya and Han Bi were sitting on the couch discussing the trip.
“He had texted me saying that that they landed safely and were going to their hotel, but we haven't talked yet. I am sure he is sleeping and will call as soon as he wakes up.” Maya laughed. “...the question is, how are you and Junmyeon Oppa doing?”
Han Bi laughed. “We are doing pretty well. But he has been acting so strange lately! Especially when I talk about moving to this place. He just starts giggling and changes the topic”
Maya continued to laugh. Han Bi was so oblivious to Junmyeon’s plan of proposing to her. Maya did not want to be the one to ruin his surprise. “Guys are just weird!” Maya made an excuse.
Suddenly Maya’s phone started ringing and she flinched. She immediately tried to calm herself down and slowly looked at the screen to see who was calling and sighed when she realized it was Namjoon.
“Woah, you doing okay?” Han Bi asked when he saw Maya panic for a second.
“Yeah, I am fine...speaking of the devil...it’s Joon.” Maya gestured at the phone, showing the screen of her phone to Han Bi.
Han Bi shook her head, “while you talk to him, I am gonna go order the pizza!” Han Bi replied and got up from the seat and went to another room to make a call to the pizza place.
Maya picked up the phone. “Hello..”
“Hey, how are you?” Namjoon replied.
“I am doing pretty good. We just finished moving everything in and we are about to have dinner.”
“Are you going directly to the airport from Han Bi’s place?” Namjoon asked.
“Yeah...I brought everything with me and the guard will take me to the airport” Maya assured.
“Oh and sorry we only left you with the new guard. We always have to bring more security when we are traveling.” Namjoon explained.
“Ah, no worries! I am fine. Besides I am not going to be here for much longer anyways.” Maya laughed.
“True...I can’t wait to see you. I can’t wait for the day after tomorrow!!” Namjoon said with enthusiasm.
“Me too! It’s gonna be amazing and I am sure you are gonna win”
“Even if I don’t. It doesn’t matter. I am just grateful and happy.”
“And that’s all that matters” Maya agreed.
“Anyways, I have to get ready for the interview. I love you and I’ll see you soon. Take care!”
“I love you too, Joon. Always remember that. Bye!” Maya said and hung up the phone.
Just then Han Bi came back after ordering the pizza. The two girls talked some more and then Han Bi got a call from the delivery man.
“Oh I think the delivery guy is here. I’ll go get the pizza.” Han Bi said, as she grabbed her coat and went outside the gate to get the pizza. Han Bi’s new apartment building was in a nicer part of Seoul, so it had a gate so the pizza man wasn’t allowed in without a passcode.
Meanwhile, Maya stayed back and scrolled through her emails to make sure she had responded to everything important before she left. She then heard a knock on the door, so she put down her phone on the coffee table and went towards the door. She assumed it was Han Bi with the pizza, even though Han Bi had just left so it would be too soon for her to be back.
Nonetheless, Maya opened the door without hesitation. And was shocked, when it wasn’t her.
“Oh...it’s you…Did you need anything?” Maya mumbled. Her voice was stuttering all of the sudden.
20 Minutes before the GRAMMYs red carpet
Namjoon saw a glass of water being held in front of him.
“Here you go, hyung.” Jungkook whispered as he sat down next to him.
Namjoon shook his head. He wasn’t sure he would be able to swallow anything in that moment. He felt like he couldn’t sense anything.
“Hyung, they are going to find her. I am sure she is fine.” Jungkook tried to assure Namjoon. Even though he knew it would be pointless in that moment.
Suddenly manager Sejin came back with Bang PD along with him. The two stood in front of Namjoon. Namjoon was quiet. He hadn’t even noticed the two were there.
“Namjoon-ah...you have two choices. You can catch a flight back to Korea right now to go find Maya, or you can go through this award show with your brothers and go afterwards. What do you want to do?” Bang PD said.
And in that moment, it felt as if Namjoon had travelled back in time to the day when he was sitting in Bang PD’s office. The day after Bang PD had seen Maya in his studio and he was asked to make a decision. Would he choose Maya or would he choose BTS? Except this time he was sure he had lost Maya, even before making the decision. She was gone. He was still here.
BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD ♡✧( ु•⌄• ) once you get this award, you're supposed to paste it in the ask box of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing will happen, but it's nice to know that someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out ❤ ( ◜◒◝ )♡
『BTS』 REPRESENTATION MATTERS. BTS X WOMEN w/ DARKER SKIN. These fanarts are amazing. FOLLOW ELLEN this girl is so talented !
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