hysterically neurotic

call me doc. he/him. diagnosed with DID. vent blog. traumagenic safe.  

[akindplace]

Sad ghost club

[sheabutterbitch]

Chronic suicidal ideation is your brain’s response to having no other coping skills. Your brain is trying to keep you safe with the comfort of knowing you can just opt out of [your problems] life at any point. Equipping yourself with better coping skills, better options, is the only way to combat this defense mechanism.

[headspace-hotel]

In the future, children will think our ways are strange. "Why do old people always grow so much milkweed in their gardens?" they'll say. "Why do old people always write down when the first bees and butterflies show up? Why do old people hate lawn grass so much? Why do old people like to sit outside and watch bees?"

We will try to explain to them that when we were young, most people's yards were almost entirely short grass with barely any flowers at all, and it was so commonplace to spray poisons to kill insects and weeds that it was feared monarch butterflies and American bumblebees would soon go extinct. We will show them pictures of sidewalks, shops, and houses surrounded by empty grass without any flowers or vegetables and they will stare at them like we stared at pictures of grimy children working in coal mines

[headspace-hotel]

We will be feeding our grandchildren strawberries and raspberries we grew in our gardens, dragging them along to the farmers' markets for tomatoes and eggs and goats milk and pickles and pecans and salsa and sunflower seed butter and jars of honey, as they complain and drag their feet because Gramma always stands around talking to people for like an HOUR

and we will say "When I was YOUR age, fruits and vegetables came from a supermarket and they were bred to get shipped 1000 miles in a truck and sit on shelves for weeks, and they tasted so sour and watery it was like eating paper compared to these ones. It wasn't even legal in some places to grow your own food"

and they will roll their eyes like yeah yeah just because everything was miserable in the 20s doesn't mean I have to have a smile on my face standing in the hot sun while you listen to that one guy talk about his bees FOREVER

But they will go, because there might be baby goats.

[headspace-hotel]

Since I made this post, dozens and dozens of people have left tags telling me that it was the first thing today that made them want to continue living, that it was the first thing that made them consider that they might be okay years in the future, that they might grow old, that it was the first and only post of its kind they'd ever seen—the first post that boldly predicts a future where we make it.

And many other people have been just spitting, foaming at the mouth fucking FURIOUS. How dare I have the audacity to imagine a future where things get better?

Don't I know how BAD things are? Am I not aware of the TERROR and DEVASTATION of climate change and fascism and biodiversity loss? How dare someone be so bold, so callous, as to imagine something other than misery and suicide. How dare someone suggest it will get better. How dare a person propose that there is a future where we will be okay, in the face of so much terror. Hasn't she seen the abyss opening its jaws before us?

Well? What do you think?

Do you think I've seen the abyss?

[memewhore]

[bananahomo]

I reblogged this last month, tagged it, and said “might as well see if it works.” I used this video as a reference to find all the forms that i needed (which is A LOT, especially if you’re a dependent) and sent them through the mail, not really allowing myself to hope.

dude.

$2,714 of medical debt from my top surgery - gone. im shaking this was such a weight on me for 2 years and it fucking worked. what the fuck.

[queeranarchism]

Anyone who is paperwork-smart and looking for a direct action they can do from home: THIS IS IT. Offer your time online to help people with this. Either directly or by creating a website that takes people through the forms for each hospital in super easy mode.

Because when you’re recovering from an illness or when you’re chronically ill or if you’re just not that good with paper work or the english language... this kind of shit can be a wall that’s too high to climb. So help people over.

[doctorisout]

My uni is all “we care SO much about your mental health, we have SO many Good Resources” until you need to get hospitalized during finals and then Oh you can’t take an Incomplete bc it’s Past The Deadline. Sorry. <33. 

[doctorisout]

As someone who's on TikTok, TikTok syscourse is such a fucking headache. Staying away from it is probably for the best.

Honestly I so believe that. I feel like everything on TikTok is just a headache lol, there's a reason I deleted it. For a time there was at least cool cosplay, and I'm sure there still is but is it worth it?

[doctorisout]

yknow sometimes i think that syscourse on tumblr is bad but i do not even want to know what its like on tiktok

[doctorisout]

I think I’d like to start posting more on here lol

[mephostophilis]

[This user is eating 500 cigarettes]

[doctorisout]

Very much not a fan of the tik toks that are just like “Stuff I didn’t know was my DID !!!” and it’s all just 

*normal thing everyone does* 

*normal thing everyone does* 

*normal thing everyone does but worded really weirdly* 

*thing that could be a symptom of like fifteen different disorders* 

*normal thing everyone does* 

[hotgirlsasuke-deactivated202011]

what is your cishet male trait mine is being a car fan

[columboscreens]

[doctorisout]

did is like. oh how much fun im having being a thirteen year old. WAIT I HAVE A COLLEGE ESSAY DUE. 

[thekillective]

shoutout to the DID systems who never experience full blackouts in the present, who always have at least a little bit of knowledge of what's happening all the time. that doesn't invalidate your experience of amnesia or mean you don't have it as a symptom, it just means your brain didn't see that as a necessary part of protecting you. every single system functions differently and that is way too easy to forget, so go easy on yourself <3

-ricky

[human-power]

your mental illness is mean and it’s a liar. You are never as horrible as you think. People love you. You are worthy

[whimsigothwitch-deactivated2026]

Celestial ceilings

[whimsigothwitch-deactivated2026]

Inside the whimsigothic hearth