trying to write a fic but i get frustrated bc i dont write like a 50+ years of experience in writing nobel in literature winner writer
"and then they kiss... sloppy style" hmmm but it doesn’t sound as good as gabriel garcia marquez does it?

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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@doctorkugler
trying to write a fic but i get frustrated bc i dont write like a 50+ years of experience in writing nobel in literature winner writer
"and then they kiss... sloppy style" hmmm but it doesn’t sound as good as gabriel garcia marquez does it?
Pusheen is married?!?
PUSHEEN HAS BABIES?!?!?
Queen Of Keeping Personal And Professional Lives Seperate
SINCE WHEN IS PUSHEEN A GIRL
an absolute queen. her birthday is febuary 18th
she's Irish
everyone say happy birthday pusheen
My version of "doomscrolling" nowadays is just going to iNaturalist, browsing pictures of animals and fantasizing about where I would introduce them outside of their natural range if I was some kind of ecology-focused evil scientist. I do this when I'm depressed. I don't know if it helps.
Bring hyena to Texas put Texas in hyena paws humans can trust Texas to hyena pack yesss
How could I disagree with such a trustworthy source
animals i really want to introduce to the USA:
-red pandas in Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio. they can live in those you-pick orchards and delight tourists, and in the winter the big ones can be harvested by the farmers for food and fur. america also has native bamboo, as well as plenty of escaped invasives.
-koalas in southern california. we already have a lot of feral eucalpytus in the state and it makes our wildfires way worse. let's put koalas in there too. coyotes can hunt them like dingos do.
-cheetahs in colorodo, wyoming, nebraska, and oklahoma. we had cheetahs here once, that's why pronghorns are so fast. let's give them something to really haul ass about.
-spotted hyenas in texas and new mexico. did you know there's actually a shit ton of oryx already roaming around new mexico? they were brought in for a game preserve. oryx can fight off lions, but spotted hyenas are actually superior pack hunters with some of the highest kill rates of large cooperative predators in the world. we might have a problem with ranchers, but like: fuck ranchers. they already decimated the mexican wolf populations. they deserve hyenas.
-pangolins. i would drop these guys in arizona honestly. everyone in arizona hates and fears fire ants. i think entire neighborhoods would throw ecstatic parades for pangolins (which smell much better than giant anteaters) at least until a pangolin dug straight through their pasteboard condo.
-new zealand's little penguin in louisiana. they burrow into mud and sand banks during the day and tolerate quite hot temperatures! i think they'd do fine, and louisiana is sliding into the gulf anyway. let's have penguins there. i'd also try them out in new england in case lousiana is just too swampy for them. i feel like new yorkers would go insane with pride over having penguins around. they would act like they invented the whole concept of penguins. we should let them.
-water buffalo. georgia and the carolinas. i just think it would give everyone there some interesting new problems.
-i firmly believe that asiatic elephants would do great in the southeastern united states. it's a subtropical climate that's only going to get swampier as things heat up, and there's plenty of kudzu and tall grass species for them to munch on. they're also smart enough to learn to navigate and negotiate with people, and to follow set routes around human farms rather than tromp through them, so disruption to existing human infrastructure would be minimal but occasionally hilarious. i think it would be so cool to have an american subspecies of elephant. if i ever win the lottery this IS what i am going to be doing with my millions.
Animals I would introduce to each continent:
Europe: Wombat
We've had enough of your fucking rabbits and foxes. Here, have a huge badger type thing that can destroy cars with its arse. It'll outcompete your badgers and where will you be then. Haha.
Asia: Wombat
We've had enough of Indian camels ruining our deserts. Here's something to ruin your terrain for a change.
North America: Wombat
We've had enough of United States tourists with no manners. Here's some tourists with even less manners.
South America: Wombat
WE'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR FUCKING CANE TOADS. WOMBATS FOR YOU.
Africa: Wombat
The feral ostriches aren't actually all that much of a problem right now, but in revenge for the problem they will probably become in the future, have some fucking wombats.
Antarctica: Wombat
I'll take it right back home and warm it up I promise I. I just really want to see a wombat walk and dig in the snow.
Australia: Wombat
The populations of all three species of wombat are dangerously low.
see while the first set of animals is really selling me on the concept of an ecologically based supervillain, Derin's wombat themed villain is showing up MUCH clearer in my minds eye
Wombats forever
Happy annual Dracula Paprika Discourse Day to those who celebrate!
When the book was written, spicy meant spices not how much it makes your mouth burn. So the actual comment means that he thought there was too much because it's an overwhelming flavor.
am pleased to report this post now appears in @shashanotsasha's excellent and entertaining delve into the madness that is Dracula Paprika Discourse!
My friend Colin Gorrie, a professional linguist, has posted a brief, straightforward guide to writing accurate-sounding Elizabethan English on his Substack. Useful for everything from Hamlet fanfic (as Colin suggests) to doing a bit on Tumblr!
How to sound like Shakespeare
as a trained early modernist I endorse this. Conjugate your second/third-person singular verbs correctly and get thou/thee/thy/thine right and you're like 95% of the way to not setting my teeth on edge.
(Of course the pronouns are sometimes tricky because people don't understand grammatical case in modern English either)
David Lynch Eraserhead Drag King I'm obsessed with you
i cannot hate myself into a version of me i will love.
i cannot punish myself in any way that will unmake the past.
This is brilliant!!!!!!
Sometimes reading Arthuriana feels like reading Alice in Wonderland.
“Well,” said Alice, “these are a dreadfully strange assortment of objects!”
“They all symbolize different aspects of Our Lord’s martyrdom,” said the Fisher King, casting a line into his teacup.
“Indeed. I am sure everything symbolizes something else, for if everything was only itself I should be very confused. Might I ask what the point of the bleeding lance is?”
Alice regretted asking the question as soon as she had done so, for she saw the pun that would likely be made about the word point. Instead, however, the room erupted in applause and shouts of “The Grail! She has achieved the Grail!”
The next castle she visited, Alice resolved to herself as the inhabitants of this one danced for joy, would be more sensible.
Or I could do this with The Knight of the Cart.
“Which shall you choose?” asked the guardian. “The underwater bridge or the sword bridge?”
“Both sound dreadful,” said Alice. “I think I’ll just float the cart across.”
The guardian sputtered so hard his helmet broke.
“You cannot ride in a cart to rescue a queen!”
“I don’t see why not,” said Alice, growing cross. “It can’t be worse than abducting a queen.”
“Oh, much worse! For to abduct a Queen is wicked but heard of, while to save he on a cart is virtuous and unheard of.”
“Oh, tosh!” said Alice, floating the cart.
“If you cut my head off,” said the Green Knight, “then in a year and a day, I shall cut off yours.”
“Certainly not!” said Alice. “For if you can survive such a blow, it would be quite unfair to me, and if you cannot, then I will have killed a man over a silly game!”
“Silly games are the most important thing in the world,” said the Green Knight, “for it is after them that we judge honor.”
Alice thought to herself that if this was honor, adults could keep it.
In honor of a thing that keeps popping up in Arthurian novels I read…
“You have nothing to fear,” said the robber knight, “for you are traveling alone. Everyone knows a knight may not attack a maiden alone, but only a maiden traveling with a knightly protector!”
“That can’t possibly be a law,” said Alice. “Camelot is absurd, but not that absurd.”
“It is not a law, but a custom.” The robber knight sounded as if he were lecturing a fool, which Alice felt was very unfair of him. “Customs are far more important than laws, for laws may change, but customs never do.”
Alice didn’t think that was true, but she would not argue the point.
“What about attacking a knight?” she asked. “Can someone attack a lone knight, or only a knight traveling with a maiden?”
“One may attack a knight any time and under any circumstance. That is the meaning of the word ‘knight’- he can be attacked by day or by knight!”
With the understanding that, as a maiden traveling alone, she might attack the knight and he could not return the attack, Alice picked up a handful of rocks from the ground and began to throw them at him. She was not generally an unruly child, but everyone has their limits.
I don't know what paddington is doing on that list, but it made me think of the time someone drew a picture of the queen with paddington after she died, and we had scores of people losing their minds at the idea that paddington bear wasn't the same kind of communist as them
I love the sorrow in which you wrote this
The tragedy of growing up british & left wing is realising all your beloved childhood animals in waistcoats were monarchists to the core
I feel like in many ways "How'd he manage to grow up a middle-aged middle-class British man in Peru, anyways?" is the wrong question but it's still the one I am hung up on, years later.
Hold on let’s do this properly:
Paddington - regrettably a monarchist but in that specific immigrant way. The only actual immigrant on the list. May possibly just be a monarchist as part of the processing stage and is also canonically a child.
Winnie the Pooh - is canonically a stuffed animal, I genuinely don’t think he has this level of thought/agency and is not written as such. The real living breathing animals (owl, rabbit) are not just monarchists, but actively and cruelly bourgeois.
The Velveteen Rabbit - doesn’t wear a waistcoat but not a monarchist either.
Angelina Ballerina - a monarchist and a bit of a little bitch tbqh
The Brambly Hedge mice - really unclear. But like worryingly unclear. Clearly some kind of caste system in operation (lords and ladies) but not capitalist or explicitly feudalist either, it seems a thin overlay over their real political intentions: incredibly intense cheesemaking forming the backbone of a post-scarcity economy.
Beatrix Potter / Peter Rabbit - monarchists.
Richard Scarry - actually I can’t make a call on this one whoops no worries he’s American
Animals of Farthing Wood - I … don’t know.
Wind in the Willows - Toad’s a fucking Tory, but I feel like the Water Rat is kind of a comrade
Watership Down - unfortunately many of these rabbits are fashy, even the ones you like. Ursula le Guin said it, not me. They wouldn’t walk away from omelas. However, they touch a lot of grass - enough grass to not be interested in the house of Windsor - which is a point in their favour.
Redwall - monarchists, though not for the British monarchy. and also, somehow, Mouse Anglican verging on Mouse Catholic. Worrying, fascinating.
Oakapple Wood - monarchists
Hobbit - not a woodland creature but wears a waistcoat and is sympathetic to Thorin, Aragorn. Provisionally extremely monarchist and the very earliest interpretations of hobbits appeared to think they are somehow bipedal rabbits, which pissed Tolkien off.
Rupert Bear - British bear in clothes attributed partially for the decline in the usage of the name Rupert - but I don’t know a thing about him
The Highway Rat - all Julia Donaldson creatures lick the boot that crushes them, even the highway rat. Possibly not the Gruffalo. The Gruffalo however is the most naked that anyone has ever been, thus not an animal that would wear clothes.
The Narnia creatures - don’t all wear clothes, but THE definitive monarchists
Fantastic Mr Fox - not a monarchist. and in the wes Anderson film is not even British although the farmers and setting are (brilliant artistic choices, especially including an excellent but fucking random possum that calls the entire ecosystem into question: ultimately these are North American animals subverting and undermining the British landowners in a strange political statement whose intentions and direction are unclear.) Not monarchists, but what?
I also asked my own small British child to name more notable creatures in waistcoats, and after suggesting the obvious (brambly hedge, Angelina) they said, devastatingly, “viruses,” and when I delicately questioned what they meant by this, pointed out that viruses have a protein coat. Thus:
Viruses - possibly monarchists, wear coats, and present in children’s literature as exemplified by the Usborne “See Inside Germs.” Ultimately more data is needed.
I had completely forgotten about my kid saying “viruses” omg
I feel like @jonnywaistcoat should see this just because of his famous paddington opinions.
The list is broadly correct, I think. The denomination they're thinking about for Redwall is called "High Anglican" (basically Church of England cosplaying catholics).
That said, I think the monarchism angle, while the most compelling and accessible to an international audience, is only a single aspect of the cringing "know-your-place" classism that is utterly pervasive in English culture and a huge amount of our children's literature.
since mrs, ms, and mr are all descended from the latin word magister, i propose the gender neutral version should be mg, short for "mage"
some people think this is a shitpost so i want to clarify that i am dead fucking serious. make mage the official gender neutral honorific NOW. i want it on my passport. i want it on my bank account. i want doctors and judges to use it for me. i don't care if it sounds a little silly. people thought "missus" sounded crass at first. call me mg.
benefits of mg:
easy to pronounce, even for children (though kids 4 & younger may pronounce it more like "mayd" or "maygh")
ONE SYLLABLE!!! ("individual" is too goddamn LONG.) you have to be able to say it quickly and casually
ends in a soft vowel sound, so it'll flow right into the next word ("ind" halts the whole sentence)
fits neatly into the existing structure as a relative of master/mistress that can be abbreviated down to an m and one other letter
distinct enough that it can't be mistaken for either gendered term (if you call me mix I'll kill you. it sounds like miss with extra steps)
wizard.
drawbacks:
there aren't any
yes, i know about milligrams and magnesium. i don't give a shit. ms can also mean microsoft. who cares.
Thought this could fit in well here
Ok I don’t mean to be doing this too often but I literally just wrote a paper about this so I thought I would comment! The English translation is The Cursed Woman but the original French is La Femme Damnée. “Femmes Damnées” was the title of a Baudelaire poem from his acclaimed 1857 book Fleurs du mal, which was known, among other things, to be a collection that famously dealt with the subject of lesbians. The poem tells the story of the desires and passionate love between two lesbians: Delphine and Hippolyte. As a result of this poem and of the book as a whole, the terms “fleurs du mal” and “femme damnée” became lesbian monikers of the turn of the century. Though some have deemed the term “damned women” to be accusatory of some moral dissonance, the poem it is derived from is actually quite sympathetic to the condition of lesbian love as it is a love which is unable to fully flourish in that time. Regardless, the translated title of Tassaert’s painting is misleading, as the original French is less accusatory and more identifying. The title is more accurately “the lesbian.”
And she’s doing fine
Sophia, the Boston woman from 1875 who haunts a lamp I got at Brimfield: what is a stay at home girlfriend, if you please?
me: well, it's a woman who's financially supported by the man she's dating, and she lives with him and usually keeps house and cooks for him
her: and they're not married?
me: well, no; hence "girlfriend" rather than "wife." I know that may alarm y-
her: oh calm down I know about Kept Women. he has no legal tie to her, though? she has no sort of standing with him in the eyes of the law? only his word that he'll follow through?
me: yes
her: and remind me again- you don't have to be financially dependent on a man anymore, right? there are more than like three careers open to women that will let you support yourself at a decent level now? and society isn't pressuring you 24/7 to get married and stop working outside the home?
me: yes
her: so these women. CHOOSE to be dependent on a man. who could leave them at any moment without legal consequence. because they don't like their jobs. the jobs, while imperfect, that let them live on their own, answerable to no-one
me: yes
her: that had better be some absolutely amazing jewelry they can pawn off if he leaves them, then
me: it's usually not
her: THERE'S NOT EVEN SECURITY JEWELRY?!
me: oh by the way they blame feminism for "having to work"
her:
her: I became fully dependent on my in-laws who hated me, after my husband died two years into our marriage, because I was a 23-year-old orphan with no marketable skills in any avenue besides Running A Household and the only men left unmarried in my social circle were widowers thirty years my senior. I also couldn't establish lines of credit as a widow because the merchants said my husband dying so soon meant that I didn't have stable enough income. and that was entirely legal
me: yeah
her: I'm going to go slam some doors please do not bother me
I'd truly be the worst person to stick into a timeloop because I'd really just spend the first 5 years catching up on my book tbr, the next 7 on all the movies and shows that've Been On My List for ages, and then another decade on ao3. like sure nothing may stick but my memories will and i can just go into a supermarket to get snacks and wine each day, and i have art to indulge in. like thanks for the hints on how to get out but respectfully, I am busy
Imagine eating just burritos every day for 3 months with no financial or health consequences. And when that's boring moving onto chocolate cake. Taking a nice break from all work deadlines. Bring on the time loop.
Been watching Yakuza movies. I like how japanese businesses guys from the 1960s would like, hold a party for the investors on the christening of a new hotel, and the entertainment is a Kabuki performance.
Like imagine if your company opened a new bank, and the party entertainment was 17th century bardic plays. And there was also a normal DJ. We should do that.
Commedia dell'arte was a form of western Kabuki theater popular among Edo period Italians.
My month, in a series of headlines! After planning an event at the Pike Place Market, we were told at the last minute that they did not approve of our "resistance messaging" and we had to pivot quickly. We moved to the Chinatown/International district and hundreds joined us. They joined us again at the Northwest Detention Center, where we rallied to shut down the site and free everyone inside from modern, bureaucratic concentration camps. Proud of my community, grateful to be organizing with so many incredible people, to be embraced by Nikkei elders and to stand alongside undocumented activists now, it's the only thing keeping me going!!!
That's me in the yellow coat and red hat on the right lol
Oklahoma is attempting to pass a bill that would ban explicit romance novels. Authors, narrators, and sellers could all face fines of up to $100,000 and up to 10 years in jail for each instance.
If you live in OK, call your representative and tell them this bill should not be allowed to pass.
This is likely a test case. Republicans will try to pass it in OK and if it passes other states will likely try to pass similar laws.
In the meantime, get physical copies of books you like. Download those pdfs. Archive your AO3 stories and keep them on a physical hard drive. (Storing those files in the cloud could be problematic in the future as the company managing the cloud service can see what your files are)
A bill proposed by Oklahoma Sen. Dusty Deevers, R-Elgin, seeks to raise punishment for child pornography but also aims to ban pornography al
@thebibliosphere
I know this doesn’t apply to any of the romance authors on here, but I really hope the Twitter/tiktok authors who cheered on the porn bans and told the rest of us we were crazy to “fear monger” that Romance would fall under fire are having a very “stub your toe for the rest of your natural lives” kind of day.
TEN YEARS fucking prison suggested for writing one book with naughty words in it.
25 ways to be a little more punk in 2025
Cut fast fashion - buy used, learn to mend and/or make your own clothes, buy fewer clothes less often so you can save up for ethically made quality
Cancel subscriptions - relearn how to pirate media, spend $10/month buying a digital album from a small artist instead of on Spotify, stream on free services since the paid ones make you watch ads anyway
Green your community - there's lots of ways to do this, like seedbombing or joining a community garden or organizing neighborhood trash pickups
Be kind - stop to give directions, check on stopped cars, smile at kids, let people cut you in line, offer to get stuff off the high shelf, hold the door, ask people if they're okay
Intervene - learn bystander intervention techniques and be prepared to use them, even if it feels awkward
Get closer to your food - grow it yourself, can and preserve it, buy from a farmstand, learn where it's from, go fishing, make it from scratch, learn a new ingredient
Use opensource software - try LibreOffice, try Reaper, learn Linux, use a free Photoshop clone. The next time an app tries to force you to pay, look to see if there's an opensource alternative
Make less trash - start a compost, be mindful of packaging, find another use for that plastic, make it a challenge for yourself!
Get involved in local politics - show up at meetings for city council, the zoning commission, the park district, school boards; fight the NIMBYs that always show up and force them to focus on the things impacting the most vulnerable folks in your community
DIY > fashion - shake off the obsession with pristine presentation that you've been taught! Cut your own hair, use homemade cosmetics, exchange mani/pedis with friends, make your own jewelry, duct tape those broken headphones!
Ditch Google - Chromium browsers (which is almost all of them) are now bloated spyware, and Google search sucks now, so why not finally make the jump to Firefox and another search like DuckDuckGo? Or put the Wikipedia app on your phone and look things up there?
Forage - learn about local edible plants and how to safely and sustainably harvest them or go find fruit trees and such accessible to the public.
Volunteer - every week tutoring at the library or once a month at the humane society or twice a year serving food at the soup kitchen, you can find something that matches your availability
Help your neighbors - which means you have to meet them first and find out how you can help (including your unhoused neighbors), like elderly or disabled folks that might need help with yardwork or who that escape artist dog belongs to or whether the police have been hassling people sleeping rough
Fix stuff - the next time something breaks (a small appliance, an electronic, a piece of furniture, etc.), see if you can figure out what's wrong with it, if there are tutorials on fixing it, or if you can order a replacement part from the manufacturer instead of trashing the whole thing
Mix up your transit - find out what's walkable, try biking instead of driving, try public transit and complain to the city if it sucks, take a train instead of a plane, start a carpool at work
Engage in the arts - go see a local play, check out an art gallery or a small museum, buy art from the farmer's market
Go to the library - to check out a book or a movie or a CD, to use the computers or the printer, to find out if they have other weird rentals like a seed library or luggage, to use meeting space, to file your taxes, to take a class, to ask question
Listen local - see what's happening at local music venues or other events where local musicians will be performing, stop for buskers, find a favorite artist, and support them
Buy local - it's less convenient than online shopping or going to a big box store that sells everything, but try buying what you can from small local shops in your area
Become unmarketable - there are a lot of ways you can disrupt your online marketing surveillance, including buying less, using decoy emails, deleting or removing permissions from apps that spy on you, checking your privacy settings, not clicking advertising links, and...
Use cash - go to the bank and take out cash instead of using your credit card or e-payment for everything! It's better on small businesses and it's untraceable
Give what you can - as capitalism churns on, normal shmucks have less and less, so think about what you can give (time, money, skills, space, stuff) and how it will make the most impact
Talk about wages - with your coworkers, with your friends, while unionizing! Stop thinking about wages as a measure of your worth and talk about whether or not the bosses are paying fairly for the labor they receive
Think about wealthflow - there are a thousand little mechanisms that corporations and billionaires use to capture wealth from the lower class: fees for transactions, interest, vendor platforms, subscriptions, and more. Start thinking about where your money goes, how and where it's getting captured and removed from our class, and where you have the ability to cut off the flow and pass cash directly to your fellow working class people
I'd love to add to this some random resources to pirate. Please feel free to add more as I'm just someone navigating through all this myself.
- Popcorn time. Multi platform, easy to navigate, has tons of shows and movies.
- Library Genesis (libgen). For books, and scientific books and articles.
- Biblioteca Cervantes. For license free books in Spanish. Technically not pirating but still good to have.
- The Pirate Bay. Here is where to find other stuff you couldn't find on, say, Popcorn time. But you can still use Popcorn time to download things from here to your machine.
These are my basic day to day tools. A piece of advice would also be: use online forums to learn more about these. I'm not a big fan of Reddit for some reasons but it is a nice place to start to look for instance "beginner guide Libgen reddit" on your search engine (preferably not Google-based).
Let's all help each other in this to regain this digital literacy that's not being taught anymore and is sort of a lost knowledge.